#like yeah I'm fucking exhausted and it has definitely made me cry but oh wow I get to do this
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When the academically challenging course I chose and prayed and cried for academically challenges me: 😧😧
#remember when I switched from business to stem....#the only thing motivating me is this tiktok I saw saying how our complaints are privileges because so little women are in stem and so many#could never pursue it and that opened my eyes honestly#like yeah I'm fucking exhausted and it has definitely made me cry but oh wow I get to do this#I'm not doing this just for me but for all the women who couldn't#and I've said more in my tags than the posts gotta get back to chem#evie's random shit
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For years, I lived in bewildered befuddlement regarding the musical musings of Taylor Swift. I usually listen to rock or metal, so her brand of pop was not a part of my usual lineup. However, I gained lovely friends here on Tumblr who swear by our Lady TayTay, so I decided I should check out her stuff. But there was SO MUCH, I didn't even know where to start. Luckily, my dearest mutual and actual friend, @idontgettechnology , took pity on me and made me the most amazing playlist to get me started. She titled it Taylor Swift 101, with a description of "Class is is session bish".
I spent today working my way through it, and it was a revelation! I took notes, cause that's what you're supposed to do in class, so here are my highlights from the 56 song playlist. I know I'm missing out on years of lore regarding TSwift, but I'm eager to learn. After a few more listens I may even be ready for the 201 level of this class lol
Notes below the cut, to save your scrolling thumb 😜
Ok, here we go! (I'm pretty sure these are in the intended order, and mostly these are first impressions)
1. Fifteen: wow, this took me straight back to highschool!
2. Teardrops on my Guitar: yep, I'm already hooked
3. Fearless: UGH!!!!
4. Tied Together with a Smile: FUCK!
5. Whitehorse: Holy shit!
6. Cold as You: DAMN!!!
7. You Belong with Me: (SCREAMING) I'm officially invested!
8. Stay Beautiful: 😍😍😍
9. That's The Way I Loved You: FUUUUUUCK!!!
10. Come Back, Be Here: I'm dead over this one ☠️
11. Sparks Fly: EHRMEHGHERD!!!
12. All Too Well: DUUUUUDE!!! I think this is about Jake Gyllenhaal? Also, OOOUUUUUCCCHHH, I can feel her pain!
13. Dear John: EW! Girl, he's a toxic ass narcissist! Babygirl, you need to ditch those boys, get you a girlfriend instead. I volunteer as tribute, or I would if I wasn't too old and boring lol
14. I Almost Do: 🥺🥺🥺🥺
15. Enchanted: Oh the feels!!! Also, my personal head canon is that this is about Chris Evans 😜
16. Red: oh boy, have I been here!
17. Long Live: THIS IS SUCH A GREAT SONG! OH MY HEART!
18. Blank Space: HA! I love this song!
19. Out of the Woods: girl does not have normal relationships
20. How You Get the Girl: OOOOF! I mean come on, she's literally giving instructions!
21. Bad Blood: Fuck you song if ever I heard one! "You made this mess, you know that right?" Kinda vibes
22. Clean: (hand over heart in salute) I feel you sis!
23. Wonderland: Love this! Also, who is this green eyed boy she keeps mentioning?!
24. Look at What You Made Me Do: love this! "Fine, now I'm the bad guy" vibes 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
25. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! DUDE!!! LOVE THIS!!! 🤣
26. Gorgeous: Love this! UGH SHUT UP YOUR PRETTY FACE! Also about Chris Evans lol
27. Getaway Car: Damn, I've had a few of these, and yeah nothing good happens in a getaway car. Doomed! Lol
28. Dress: HOT!!!
29. New Years Day: Oh my heart!!!
30. The Man: FUCK YES!!!
31. The Archer: wow, exhausting/exhausted, this poor kid!
32. London Boy: FUCK. (This totally made me think of JQ) lol
33. Paper Rings: LOVE!!! ❤️❤️❤️
34. Cruel Summer: relatable lol
35. Cardigan: Sobbing 😭
36. Ivy: UGH! Made me cry!
37. Exile: FML. SOBBING. FR UGLY CRYING.
38. Champagne Problems: this girl needs a hug
39. Illicit Affairs: OUCH!
40. Coney Island: 🖤
41. Hoax: I am bereft. I feel like I just broke up with all of my exes at once.
42. Gold Rush: definitely about Chris Evans. Also the way I flirt, if you're too perfect, I avoid and ignore. And if I can't do that, I heckle.
43. Tis the Damn Season: FEEEEELS!!!
44. Mirrorball: she needs all of the hugs, and some real friends.
45. No Body, No Crime: I would absolutely hide bodies for her. I would die for her.
45. Betty: I have questions? Also, I 🖤 when she says fuck.
46: Evermore: I liked it, but I didn't have a definitive "note"
47. Antihero: HA!
48. Maroon: I really love it when she says fuck. It may be a new kink for me.
49. Lavender Haze: I really want her to get a girlfriend.
50. You're on Your Own Kid: SO GOOD!
51. Bejeweled: FUCK YES!!!
52. Mastermind: 😈😈😈 I've done this. This is me.
53. The Great War: bonded like war buddies lol
54. High Infidelity: Feels decidedly Hellcheery
55. Would've Could've Should've: DAAAAAMMMMNNN!!!!
56. Dear Reader: WOW
And I am SPENT! This was a rollercoaster of emotions, and I enjoyed the whole fucking time. I am now a ride or die T Swift fan. Dude, I had no idea. Thank you so much MJ for this guided tour, I had the best time today! 🥰
#my introduction to Taylor Swift#idontgettechnology#she loves me and she gives the best presents#taytay#tswift#taylor swift is amazing#and an angel#and we don't deserve her#i can't believe i just said that on the internet#i still also love Metallica though lol
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Sherlock Holmes Reactions As A Flaming Homosexual (part 5 lmao)
Again I will be putting this shit under the cut because it's gonna be So Long and also fair warning for sherlock is in fact a raging drug addict and I have a lot of yknow parts that talk about that so tread with caution but hi i am once again yelling. keep in mind i am deliriously ill while writing this one but i think i sound. just about as insane as usual. maybe it's a bit less organized tho lol
OK FIRST I WILL STATE IT SOMEHOW DID NOT COME TO MY ATTENTION FIRST READING SIGN OF FOUR THAT WATSON APPARENTLY F U C K S
like i think it's so funny that most people will look at those two and definitely think it's the other way around but no. sherlocks a virgin and watson has had sex with every woman ever and probably not limited to women
and another thing I somehow missed the first time around in sign of four. sherlock sherlock please honey this is serious get help
TH
THREE TIMES A GODDAMN DAY???? SHERLOCK I AM BEGGING YOU TO STOP HOW IS THIS MAN ALIVE
Funniest thing is that watson tells him to stop and hes like Watson i Only do drugs when the Newspaper is boring
is the newspaper boring three times a day sherlock. is it really
And at the same time sherlock checks the paper like a goddamn phone notification he'll just run out and get the latest version to see if anything's changed just like on the hour. Wow that man is not neurotypical.
poor watson tbh
why are these men just batshit fucking insane I love them
So yeah back to some random funny bits i got from reading a ton of the short stories
Ok i must say it's quite funny just my experience being either reading something about sherlock and watson and going awww they're in love or just violently yelling S H E R L O C K
Cause i was like reading a bit where watson was talking about how he was on a nice little walk with sherlock, you know, the kind of walk where no one talks but it's really comfortable and you know only people who know each other Very Intimately like him and sherlock are that well together and i was just like aww
And then three seconds later I'm laughing my ass off about "how did you know my name" "IT WAS ON YOUR HAT"
SDHFDHHDFHFDS AND ALSO THAT TIME WHEN SHERLOCK JUST COMPLETELY GODDAMN MISREAD A SITUATION AND MADE UP THIS CONSPIRACY ABOUT LIKE A SECRET HUSBAND WHOS DEATH HAD BEEN FAKED AND THEN IT WAS JUST OH NO MY KID'S BLACK WHATEVER SHALL I DO
AND BECAUSE HE WAS SO EMBARASSED ABOUT IT HES LIKE WATSON IF I EVER MAKE UP SOME DUMB SHIT LIKE THAT AGAIN FEEL FREE TO CALL ME A FUCKING IDIOT and wow thats the most humble thing hes ever done
And then he starts saying shit like "i hope your marriage doesn't change anything between us" like damn shawty what is that supposed to mean /homosexual
I also love how bc watson is the only one writing it when sherlock is talking about something that happened to him in the past with quotes and stuff there's just like seven fucking quotation marks around each other im dying
SGBDFSNNDSGNSFNFDSDFS I THOUGHT THE SHOOTING THE WALL THING WAS A YUUMORI SPECIFIC THING NO HE JUST DOES IT FOR FUN AND NOT JUST ONCE LIKE HE MAKES ART OUT OF THE FUCKING BULLET HOLES HE WAS MAKING BULLET HOLE ART OF QUEEN VICTORIA PLEASE IM CRYING AND HUDSON WAS LIKE STOP??? SHOOTING THE WALL??? AND HES LIKE SHAWTY IM ALMOST DONE CALM DOWN
And when they make him clean his goddamn room im losing my mind why does he keep random shit from his old cases "in case it comes in handy" and "to remember that time i solved that thing" i am going to throw marie kondo at you
BASFBGHDFSHGFHFSDHHDSFDS IM NOT EVEN SURPRISED THIS HAPPENED BUT ITS SO FUNNY WHEN HE JUST GOT SO HYPERFIXATED ON A CASE THAT HE JUST FUCKING. WORKED ON IT 15 HRS A DAY FOR TWO MONTHS AND THEN GOT SO EXHAUSTED AND SICK THAT WATSON HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND TAKE HIM TO THE SEASIDE TO GET BETTER LIKE HE GOT VICTORIAN WOMAN DISEASE AND SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY FUCKING GOT MURDERED RIGHT NEXT DOOR AND WATSONS JUST LIKE. HHHHHHHHHHH FINE I SUPPOSE YOU JUST FUCKING KILL YOURSELF AGAIN ALL THIS IS FOR NOTHING IM TRYING SO GODDAMN HARD
I feel so bad for him, hes just trying so hard to keep this idiot alive and it is Not Working
Ok so like this is something Im still absolutely reeling over because it's like. it doesn't even seem real to me but the fact that Sherlock has multiple times just like gone to watson's house in the middle of the night, climbed up his goddamn wall and into his window, been like "you better not be busy" and started Talking
Like. Man's in his nightgown and just sees this fucker climbing in the window like "WATSON WATSON YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I FOUND" and not just that. he's like "I only came in because you don't fucking sleep with your wife and it appears that you don't have any men in here either so I thought it was ok" LIKE ONE, WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN SHERLOCK WHY WOULD HE HAVE OTHER MEN IN HIS BEDROOM SEHGIHO:EWOHO:GHE BUT TWO, WHYYY ARE THEY GAY
He didn't even fucking ask or say he was gonna do that no watson just has no clue when hes gonna show up and start remarking upon watson's appearance what even. homosexuals
Sherlock honestly just baffles me sometimes.
Oh, also, I read the one with Mycroft in it, and wow, is the man just as boring as he is in yuumori. That's just hilarious that sherlock is this absolutely insane man and then in contrast his older brother Pays Money to Sit In A Completely Silent Room and Read The Paper
It's so funny how he's like. Straight up even smarter than sherlock but no one gives a shit about him because he just. Is so fucking boring and antisocial
Like, we don't know anything about Sherlock's childhood but like. Part of me wants to think that it must have been absolutely insane and then Mycroft's rebellious stage was to just be fucking boring. Like. I would believe that. Just imagine that
I am going to make the final problem stuff its own post just cause I went absolutely insane over it but yea this was certainly an experience
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La fin
Inspired by this ask.
Present day Duff and Vivian reflect on their romantic relationship
I sat down with my best friend to discuss our affair for the first time in 26 years…and gain a final piece of closure the two of us have yet to attain from one another.
"This is gonna be interesting because both of our spouses are here." I say as I sit down, at my kitchen bar and Duff takes a sip of his water before joining me.
"Nah, Su's as cool as a cucumber. We got this." He replies. "...I don't know about Sixx but me, you and Su can handle it." He teases.
"If you get war flashbacks, baby, just remember you're sober." I tell Nikki and he chuckles.
"I'll just go to the bathroom and sing 'Kumbaya'." Nikki adds and Susan laughs.
"It won't be that bad." She assures him. "I got my waterproof mascara on. I'm ready."
"I'm getting through this without crying." I state.
"You cry over google commercials, Viv." Duff informs me.
"Because they know how to market. This happened…" I have to do the math. "...thirty-two and a half years ago. I won't cry."
"Okay, well, just in case, I came prepared." Susan tosses me a pack of Kleenex.
"Thank you." I say to her, doubting I'll need it.
"I'm about to start the camera." Nikki tells us, going to press start on the camera he's got set up to film this. "Oh, it's already started." He states.
"It's okay, people won't care." I shrug, taking a sip of my Pepsi. "Okay, Hey, Guys." I say to the camera. "This is a very special occasion because I'm here with my best friend, and the father of my first child, Michael Andrew McKagan a.k.a Duff McKagan a.k.a Daddy McKagan according to some of you nasty, freaky, bastards." I pipe and Duff rubs his face.
"Oh my God." He chuckles.
"Do you read your instagram comments?" I remind him and he nods.
"It's just so weird to hear it in real time." He explains. "I think that's one of the most odd things you can call a sexual partner. Like…'daddy'..."
We just stare at each other for a moment and I look at the camera.
"He just single handedly dragged me in the nicest way possible." I say to him as Nikki and Susan try not to laugh.
"No, I jus--well, you can say whatever the hell you wanna say and call him whatever you wanna call him because you've earned it with the shit you've been through, but it's just odd for me to go online and there's, like, girls 30 years younger than me calling me 'daddy.' Like, I'm not sure if you realize this, sweetie, but I have daughters your age." He points out and I start laughing. "I-I could actually be your dad. Careful now."
"I think Vince has a higher chance of being these horny girls' father." I state.
"I know, but it's just food for thought, you know?" He shrugs.
"I don't even know how to transition from that to the topic--which is a serious topic, but this is just...oh my gosh." I giggle out, not able to stop.
"Speaking of 'food for thought'," He creates a transition for us to go into what we're talking about and I take the opportunity.
"Yes, we will be discussing our weird relationship-but-not-really-because-I-was-married-and-confused situationship in honor of my book coming out 'Verbatim: The Truth, The Whole Truth, & Nothing Left Unsaid', which tells everything that happened from 1981, to early 2000s, that people have already read about in everybody else's books." I explain. "I've had this, 'it isn't anybody's business' mindset and now, I feel like I'm in a place where I can tell what happened, including our thing--which is something, believe it or not, we have not talked about as much as people think we have."
"No, we haven't."
"I don't know exactly why we haven't spoken about it much, like it happened, it obviously happened because we got a son out of it...we just haven't acknowledged it happened, really. Which is why we're gonna ask the tough questions and hopefully get through some stuff."
"Which is nice because I honestly think the last time we even alluded to it was 1994, right after I got sober, and was advised to resolve things in my friendships, and even then we didn't get everything out there." He replies. "At least I didn't, and I feel like a lot of people have something to say about it, and we spent so many years letting other people define what that time was to us--which it was such a private and personal thing between the two of us that other people's two cent shouldn't have had the impact on us that it did--but we let it get to that point where we lost sight of what it meant to us and let it be defined however the fuck people wanted to call it. And that wasn't good for either of us, and I think that's one of the things that's kept me from bringing it up again. Especially now that, ya know, I'm married, have two grown daughters with Susan, you have Nikki and your children, and I've always thought there's no point in bringing something up that happened--like you said--thirty-two, almost thirty-three--years ago.
"Because you don't want to hear the b.s."
"Because I don't want to hear the b.s." He agrees. "But the more I've thought about it, there are parts of me that feels like I didn't get to say what I wanted to say when we decided to go separate ways, and that just gets fucking heavier and heavier with each year, and I'm sure you might, too."
"Oh, definitely." I agree completely, able to relate to it. "I feel like one of the main reasons for me, why I haven't tried to talk to you about it is because, like you said, people will automatically start something out of absolutely nothing, but also because I felt like I never had the right to." I state and he furrows his brows a little. "Why did you wait so long to tell me how you really felt about me?
He lets out a breath before thinking a moment.
"I refused to hinder what little happiness you had left in your relationship with Nikki. I knew you guys were struggling, I knew you were fighting like hell to get your relationship back on track, and I didn't want you to have any more confusion going on than what was already being put on you and if I would have told you how I felt, that would've done that. And then I was with Mandy for a while and that kinda helped me feel like I was over those feelings, but I realized I wasn't when she and I broke up."
"Did anybody else know about how you felt or..?"
"Well, I--yeah, Stevie thought it was just a little, like, I had a crush on you, but Izzy knew I loved you...which is why he wasn't shocked when they found out about us." He says. "...Of course he wasn't surprised because all the Nikki/Vanity stuff happened, so he was kinda expecting you to do something, which--okay, I don't know how to ask this." He admits, thinking of how to word it, glancing at Nikki.
"What?" I ask him.
"I just don't want to come across as an asshole for asking this because I'm assuming it's a lot deeper than just...okay, whatever, I'm asking it." He decides.
"Okay." I prepare for it and he sighs.
"Why did it take that level of public humiliation for you to realize you weren't in a good marriage?" He asks and it nearly makes the breath leave my body, Nikki and I looking at each other.
"Because it was public." I confess. "Everything else that had been done, had been done in private. There was no public input on it, there was nobody watching the situation unfold under a microscope, everything that happened up to that point was private. So, he could trip during a crack binge and shoot me and I could stay with him because I didn't have the public watching me, giving their opinions. But when his mistress announces it on TV, I can't just gloss over that because now everybody knows and has an inkling that 'uh oh, they're not this perfect relationship they've made people believe they are' and yes we came out and said it was a lie and tried to undo that damage that Denise caused, so physically I was still in the marriage, mentally I was drawing up divorce papers. And I'm not completely sure it was just the very public aspect of it, I think it was the fact it was her. And I realized, 'I can't compete with a woman who has absolutely everything about her that Nikki is addicted to: she knows how to have a good time, she's equally as wild as him, she's got the sex appeal, she's got all the drugs, she's on the same level as him in terms of entertainment industry' just everything that I wasn't...she was. And I was too exhausted at the point to try to compete with her so I gave up when that came out."
"I remember Izzy ranting, 'she's fucking comparing herself to Vanity and there's no reason to'." He impersonates Izzy and I chuckle.
"He drilled into my head for years to follow that I was fine the way I was, I didn't need to change anything about my looks, my personality, my hobbies, my sobriety, like it was like 'The Help' when she's constantly reassuring the little girl 'you is smart, you is kind, you is important'." I quote. "Anytime Izzy could see me struggling with myself or not feeling my best he'd be like 'seventeen outta ten, Viv. Seventeen.'"
Duff looks enlightened, and points to the space behind my right ear.
"That's why've got '17' right there." He realizes and I nod. "In his writing." He adds.
"In his writing." I confirm.
"That's--wow. I didn't know you struggled with that for so long because there was no competition." He assures me.
"Well, I already had shitty self-esteem and then that made it worse, and then even when you and I were together I still had this fear a little bit that you were only with me to help yourself get over Mandy."
"Abso-fucking-lutely not." He doesn't even think before saying and I feel myself tear up a little. "No way. No freaking way. I loved you, Viv, I really, really did. When you told me that you were filing as soon as the tour was over I started planning out our lives together, as crazy or cheesy that makes me seem, like, I was really going for it." He tells me.
"Duff." I feel guilty, my heart aching a little.
"I remembered, 'okay, she wants this many kids, she says she likes dogs but really wants a cat, too, she doesn't want to live in the middle of the city, she doesn't want an over-the-top house, she wants to go back to school at some point so I'll put away some savings for that', like, I was planning out everything and fitting Guns N' Roses in wherever there was time in that whole plan. I was ready to be with you and start a life with you. I really, really was." He adds and I see Susan's sympathy for him, only adding to my guilt.
"Well, just rip my heart out, why don't you?" I ask him to add some relief and Susan giggles, her bright smile coming back to her lips.
"Right?" She asks. "Geez, babe."
"I'm just saying." Duff tells us.
"Nikki didn't even plan his days out when he woke up back then, and then you were there with a calculator adding up how much money you probably needed to put away for my schooling."
"We wouldn't have had any money to go to school, anyway, Viv, 'cause it was all going to taxes and heroin." Nikki points out and I think for a moment.
"And house payments."
"And house payments." He agrees as I look back to Duff, who looks like he's thinking about something.
"Okay, sorry if this is a weird question, but what did you mean you felt like you had 'no right' to talk about our relationship?"
"Okay, well, we broke up, I was working on things with Nikki, you married Mandy four months after we broke up...I felt like 'okay, you've already gotten your husband back, he's gotten Mandy back, they're married, who the--' pardon my french ''--fuck are you to bring up your relationship and how it affected your friendship when you're both married to other people and doing your own things? Who are you to be worried with your time with him when you're with Nikki and he's got a wife, now?'."
"Ohh, yeah. Yeah." He knows what I'm talking about, nodding. "So, you kinda felt like it was disrespectful to dwell on it too long." He adds.
"Exactly. And I didn't want to disrespect Nikki, or Mandy, or Linda, and now Susan, by trying to work on us again, as friends, because we are exes, whether we want to admit it, we are. We dated. And I feel like it's easy to forget that sometimes because it was so long ago and that freaking sucks because I don't want…" My voice cracks and he looks at me pointedly as tears come to my eyes and I take a deep breath. "...I don't want to forget that time. And I'm not trying to be rude to my marriage or yours or make it seem like I still have those feelings for you, because I don't, but I don't want to forget there was a time in that hellacious cycle my life was in at that moment, that for a few months, I was genuinely happy in the midst of my life falling apart." I explain, sniffling. "And that wouldn't have been the case, if not for you. And I don't want to forget that."
"Vivian." He says as I grab at a tissue and I see Susan knuckle a tear in her tear duct.
"I don't know, it just felt like there was never a right time to address what happened fully because everything was happening so fast in our personal lives, for you and Guns, for Nikki and the band, I started having kids, and you got married a second time and your drinking was worse and worse, so it just never happened."
"Can I ask you something else?" He says and I nod. "When do you think we should have said, 'look, we were together, it happened, and it's okay'. Because we avoided it like the plague for years and still do at times, and that's practically due to--like I said earlier--listening to how people defined it. Like you were called a 'whore' and a 'slut' and just awful shit in public and in papers and tabloids for years after it happened and I feel like because of that, there was that element of 'we should be ashamed of ourselves and just pretend it never fucking happened' surrounding it, even though we had Monroe who's breathing proof of what happened at some point, but we just treated it as if we adopted him together as friends or something like--" I laugh, wiping a tear, and he laughs with me for a few seconds. "--it's the truth, though, we never talked about our relationship. We went on Howard Stern in '88 right after Monroe was born, and he grilled us about it, but we just shut the fuck down after that and didn't speak of anything again for a couple years until we got in that fight over you limiting my time with Monroe, and then again in '94, and that was it--and none of those times really accomplished anything. At all."
"We should have had that conversation before you got married to Mandy that May." I point out.
"That was so, so soon." He smiles nervously. "That was too soon, way too soon, to get married."
"You proposed to her the day after we broke up." I recall and he nods.
"I sure did. I sure as hell did. So stupid." He states. "I learned not to make important decisions when I'm in pain. 'Cause I married two different women when I was going through some painful stuff and only made it worse." He explains.
"And see that's the thing because you had me completely convinced you wanted Mandy. Like I felt so much better when we broke up, knowing you were with who you really wanted to be with, and I was with who I wanted to be with, and then I found out in an argument with you that you were miserable and married Mandy to try to make yourself excited about being back together with her."
"And that's exactly why I told you that because I needed you to be happy and if I would have told you how I really felt about you, you wouldn't have been happy because you would've felt guilty for staying with Nikki and fixing things with him. And I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I would have put you through that so I married Mandy so fast because I was hurt, and I thought I loved her as much as I loved you, and I held on to that and ran with it." He tells me. "Why wasn't I good enough for you to stay?"
I go to answer, before the weight of what he's asking really hits me, and several tears topple down my cheeks before I'm wiping them away.
"I can't begin to put into words how highly you surpassed 'good enough'." I inform him when I finally speak. "Um, my decision to stay with Nikki had absolutely nothing to do with you. That was all me, and issues I thought were resolved within myself that weren't resolved at all, I was just ignoring them." I say. "And something in me was telling me not to stay with you...and I fully believe that was God telling me to back the hell off because he had a plan for you and I had no business accompanying you in that plan as your significant other." I explain. "And I hate to say this, but I really feel like we would have gotten divorced."
His eyes widen and his brows raise, a knowing smile on his lips as his nods his head.
"And I hate to think that but we would have made it, maybe, up until '92 because I wasn't even your wife or your girlfriend but just being around you made me so miserable." I admit. "I-It was like--you would get up and start drinking until you passed out that night. I was watching the person who had his shit together the most in my life, fall apart, and that was scary for me because we had a son who was witnessing his dad spiral."
"Yeah." He rubs his lips together.
"And getting you to take accountability for what you were doing was like trying to bathe a cat." I add.
"And it took me months after getting sober to evaluate what went wrong in my life with the band, what went wrong in my relationships, what went wrong in my parenting with Monroe, what went wrong in my friendship/co-parentship with you, and own up to what I played a part in because none of it imploded on it's own, or just because of other people, like I played a part in all of it, too, and admitting that took a lot of time to swallow my pride and just accept that I became the very thing I got pissed at Nikki for being, years prior to that, and saying, 'okay, I made all those mistakes, I fucked up, how can I do better and learn from it to better myself, to better my friendships, to better my relationship with my son, and just do what I'm supposed to do?' And I even ended up going to Nikki, and apologizing for what happened between us," he motions between me and him, "because even before you and him were separated over the Vanity thing, knowing you went to me for shit, over him, made him feel less than, made him feel like he wasn't a good enough husband and I kinda felt the same way when he stepped up for Monroe when I was going through my drinking, and it made me feel like I wasn't adequate enough as a father because Monroe was leaning a bit more on him than he was on me, and for the shit I was going through in my life with my alcoholism and drugs, I was doing the best I could do as a dad. And it made me realize that Nikki was doing the best he could do as a husband back when he was in the thick of his heroin addiction, because he was sick and couldn't fucking help himself, just like I was sick and couldn't help myself, and neither of us wanted to hear we had a problem, neither of us wanted help. And I know people are gonna, 'well, Nikki cheated and was mean to her and this and that', I know what you looked like when Nikki was hurting you. I know the look you would get on your face...I know that I hurt you as much as Nikki did through my drinking because you would look at me the way you would look at him when you weren't recognizing the person in front of you due to how royally they had fucked themselves up."
"Yes." I nod, not even arguing.
"And that fucking hurt to realize that I was hurting you as bad as he had, and I remembered getting so pissed at him for doing that back in '86/'87 as he got worse, but then I did it, too, and that experience really opened my eyes when I got sober because I wouldn't have been humbled in that way had I not had a drinking addiction and reached that low, and I do think that's one of the reasons that was allowed to happen to me." He finishes and I take a deep breath before asking:
"If Monroe wouldn't have been conceived, if we wouldn't have had a child to come out of our relationship, knowing what we know now, how we ended up not staying together, the public slander and stuff we had to go through...would you still have had a relationship with me, if you could go back and change it?"
"Without a doubt, yes." He says, matter-of-fact. "It would have been a waste of a blessing to not have taken the opportunity to love someone as recklessly--maybe even stupidly, at times--unconditionally, with the magnitude I loved you with, at such a young age. Like, usually you can expect to find something like what we had when people get a little older, and get through all their bullshit relationships before finding the person that loves them for them fully, but I had the chance of experiencing that when I was, like, in my early twenties...and I didn't experience that again, and so much more, until I met Susan." He says and I nod. "And I don't want you to think that because we haven't spoken about it, maybe as much as we should have, that I'm ashamed of you or us or embarrassed, because I'm not proud that we did what we did in that timing--because it was really shitty timing and we both can agree on that, I think," he raises his brows and I agree, "but I will never be ashamed, or apologetic, or embarrassed that I ever had that with you. I felt like one of the most fortunate people to even know you, and then to have that relationship we had--even for the few months it lasted--was just...it was such a short time compared to how long you've been with Nikki and how long I've been with Su, but we spent it loving each other the best that we could. And we really did love each other, and we do still love each other--even if it's not in that same way, the spirit of it, I guess, is still there. There's still that 23 year old kid in me that'll kick somebody's ass over you, and wants to see you happy, and is in absolute love with you. And don't get me wrong, there's a 56 year old me that wants to see you happy and that'll still kick somebody's ass over you." He clarifies, making me laugh. "I'm just pointing out that even when those feelings went away, I don't think that bond ever did."
"Yeah." I nod, sniffling as I press a tissue to under my eye to catch more tears. "Do you, um...do you remember our break up?"
He exhales and gives me a little smile, nodding, before tears come to his eyes.
"I--yeah, I...I remember it…" He informs me.
"We had just gotten done messing around, and if we did anything before we went to bed we would just stay in bed and go to sleep, but if we did anything in the afternoon or whatever we'd get up shortly after and clean up and go about the day. And we got done, it was, like, 2:00pm, and it was this odd feeling in the midst of it that 'this is gonna be the last time we ever do this with one another', and neither of us said a word, we just laid there with each other for four hours when we were done, taking in every second that we could. Well I finally got up to go back home and check on Nikki because he had OD'd the night before." I explain.
"And you went to the door to leave and I stopped you, and was like, 'I know you're going to make things right with Nikki, and I'm going to fix things with Mandy, and I want you to know that I love you, and I'm proud of you, and I always will and always will be'. Of course you can understand me a little better now because I was crying when I choked those out, but, um," he laughs and I smile back more tears. "And you said, 'thank you, I love you, Duff' and gave me a kiss and a hug and then you were gone."
"And we rarely spoke about it, again."
"And we rarely spoke about it, again." He confirms and I let out a breath, feeling more tears swell in my eyes. "What a fucking way to end a relationship." He adds.
"This is where I'm really gonna start crying, um…" I start, chuckling nervously. "...I wasn't thanking you for being understanding, I was thanking you for everything that you'd done for me, and it took me a while to understand that that was one of the things I felt like was unresolved because that 'thank you' had a lot of weight behind it." I tell him.
"Okay." He tells me, listening intently.
"This is so freaking stupid and unhealthy but I wrote suicide notes for when Nikki finally OD'd and died, because I knew if he were to go, I'd have to go with him, I couldn't live without him." I tell him and he looks a shocked. "You taught me that I could live without him when I didn't think that I could, and you brought me so much peace and rest in a time when I couldn't remember the last time I was at peace, and I sure as hell couldn't get any rest. And I felt, and still feel, so indebted to you for those months that you spent trying your hardest to fix what you didn't break--you risked your career over me, you protected me, you defended me, you supported me, you loved me--and that's what I was thanking you for that day, and I feel like I've got a weight off my shoulders now because I have never told you that and I've always wanted to but didn't think it was a good time."
"Holy shit, Viv." He wipes a stray tear, and I see Susan doing the same, Nikki just smiling at me like he's glad I've gotten that weight off of me, because he knows I've been wanting to say it for years.
"And I'm sorry it was such a shitty breakup that kind of came out of nowhere."
"The way you were screaming and crying and begging God whenever we were trying to get Nikki to wake up, I knew if he lived you were gonna fix things. I was prepared for it, I promise." He assures me. "And I'm really glad we got to do this and get this out there with each other and I really hope you were able to get some closure with this, because I really did."
"I did, too." I nod, wiping more tears.
"I love you." He tells me as we get out of our chairs, giving me a quick, innocent, peck on the lips, before hugging me tightly.
"I love you, too."
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Hey! ╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯ you are still doing asks again, right? If you aren't, I'm sorry for bothering you!!!could I request the sdr2 boys reacting to their s/o almost dying? kinda like how ouma fell through the floorboards in v3 and was very injured? I don't doubt he could've died from the impact, bonus if, despite crying from pain, they just say "ah, hey! I didn't see u there, wow im in so much pain,,," or something like that in the most monotone voice when spotting them
Fuyuhiko, Hajime and Nekomaru reacting to their s/o almost dying
I didn’t have the time to do all of them right now so please have Hajime, Nekomaru and Fuyuhiko for now.
Fuyuhiko and Nekomaru’s imagine takes place in a killing game scenario while in Hajime’s you’ve been dating for quite some time and you’re on the outside world.
If you guys wanna see some other characters with this prompt feel free to ask and maybe I’ll do some more.
I hope you like these!
Mod Dia
Hajime Hinata
“Isn’t the view beautiful from up here?” He turned to you with a smile.
He was taking pictures with his right hand and holding your hand on his left one, because he knew you were… prone to accidents.
This was the first time you were traveling as a couple, it felt surreal!
You wanted to see and try everything, making Hajime feel a bit worried and act more like your mom than your boyfriend.
You freed yourself from his protective grip and started to wander off closer to the tip of the cliff you were visiting.
“Careful, s/o.”
“I’m always careful, you know?” You turned around noticing some pretty flowers on the ground. “Oh, these are gorgeous.”
“You’re right, they’re really beautiful.” He said looking at directly at you. “I’m glad we came here, the view is just as amazing as I had imagined.”
He put a hand around your waist and gently pulled you next to him again.
“Feeling flirty, are we?” You giggled, taking a step on the opposite direction, not really looking at where you were going. “Did you see all the cute shops over there? I would love it if we- AHH!!”
The ground beneath you suddenly gave in and you felt yourself fall backwards.
His hand reached out to grab yours but it was no use. The only thing he was able to do is yell out your name and watch your horrified expression as you tumbled down.
You covered your head with your arms and tried to stay calm but every time your body hit the hillside you couldn’t help but to scream in both pain and fear.
You should have listened to Hajime.
If only you had listened…
Now you know that he’s going to blame himself for not being able to save you.
“Hajime…” You silently called for him, getting progressively closer and closer to the ground. “I know you’re gonna help me. Don’t… worry too much.”
You felt yourself finally hit the hard ground and after that you remember only darkness.
(…)
“I’m here for you…” You opened your eyes to see Hajime crying and holding your hand.
You were laying down and he was crouched by your side comforting you.
“Shh, it’s okay…” You placed your finger on his lips and gave him a pained smile.
“You finally woke up, thank god…” He sighed in relief. “I already called an ambulance, you just have to stay still and wait. Can you do that for me?”
“I can.” You said. “It’s… It’s not your fault, you know?”
“..Uh?”
“I know you’re worried.” You cupped his cheek with your dirty and scratched hand. “It doesn’t hurt that much.”
“S/o.” He stared at you. “I’m surprise you can even talk after that fall.”
“I’ll be ok.”
Hajime held back the urge to hug you so he didn’t hurt you more and limited himself to carefully rub the back of your hand.
He can’t believe that even though you’re suffering so much you’re worried about him.
You’re the bravest person he knows.
He believes in you. So please be strong just one more time.
Nekomaru Nidai
You were supposed to be training with Nekomaru that day but you told him that you were too tired and that you needed to rest, so he began the training with only Akane.
He was worried about you because you needed to learn how to protect yourself in case someone tried to hurt you, but he knew training in excess might do bad for one’s health.
You decided to spend your free time at the pool with some of your friends.
You had a blast and time went by flying.
”It’s getting late, s/o.” Sonia said finishing to dry her hair with a towel. “Are you sure you wish not to accompany us?”
“I want to stay a little bit more on the pool.” You gave her a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine, you can go ahead.”
“Very well.” She returned your smile. “If you change your mind you’re welcome to join us.”
She then walked to Hajime, who was waiting for her, and the two of them entered the hotel.
You continued swimming, and after a while you decided it was enough and you got out of the pool.
It felt really nice to relax once in a while. Next time you’d make sure to bring your boyfriend along!
You stepped out of the pool, feeling refreshed and ready to join the others.
Suddenly, you felt dizzy and tried to stabilize yourself by holding onto a chaise long nearby the pool but your grip wasn’t strong enough and you fell down.
Your head hit the ground and you blacked out almost immediately.
(…)
“Is s/o… d-dead?” You heard one of your classmates say.
“This is all my fault!” You heard someone cry. “I shouldn’t have left s/o all alone.”
“Calm down, Sonia.” Another person said. “It’s not your fault. They’ll surely be ok, right Mikan?”
“I-it would appear so.” You opened your eyes, slowly regaining your vision.
The ultimate nurse was sitting next to you, desperately trying to stop the bleeding on your head.
“Where is…” You started looking around. “..Nekomaru?”
“Has someone called the guy yet?” Kazuichi turned to his peers.
“Peko went to get him.” Fuyuhiko said.
Your friends tried to keep you calm and distracted while Mikan tended to your wound.
Soon, Nekomaru was there to hold your hand and comfort you.
“I’m really sorry I let this happen to you.” He said. “I won’t blame you if you’re angry at me.”
“This.. is nothing.” You forced yourself to smile. “It is neither your or Sonia’s fault. I was clumsy. My bad, big guy.”
He closed his eyes and kept quiet for a bit, you felt his grip around your hand harden.
“Don’t blame yourself even for a second. How could you have known?” You said. “I love you. You’re amazing.”
“What?” He chuckled. “Why am I letting myself be comforted by you when *I* was supposed to be doing that to you?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be alright.”
“I’m sure you will.” He said. “I believe in my athletes. And I definitely believe in you, s/o.”
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu
It was the middle of the night.
At this time everyone was probably sleeping in their assigned room but you had the munchies so you sneaked into the kitchen for a midnight snack.
You made yourself some pancakes and sat at a corner enjoying the treat.
You were having a pretty big bite when you suddenly heard noise coming from outside. Startled, a piece of pancake got into your trachea and seemed to be stuck.
Your trachea clenched shut and you started panicking, trying to get the piece out.
Meanwhile the sound was getting closer and closer until you heard a familiar voice.
Was that… Fuyuhiko?
You wanted to scream for help but no sound would come out. Tears started forming on your eyes as you tried to cough it out.
Your throat was in searing pain, swelled and irritated.
By the time your boyfriend got to you, you were already on your knees, your face turning blue. You clutched your throat.
“S/O!” He ran to help you to your feet and started performing the Heimlich maneuver.
After some unsuccessful tries he was able to get the piece out.
You dropped to the floor again, exhausted.
He let out a huge sigh of relief seeing that you were ok, then turned to you. “What the hell were you thinking , s/o!?”
“…”
“Do you even have ANY IDEA of what could have happened!?” He kicked a nearby chair in frustration.
“What would be of me… without you?” He turned his face to you again and dried off the tears he hadn’t noticed were starting to form.
“..I’m…ok.” You said.
“That’s just because I got here in time.” He said. “How could you do this to me? What if someone took you by surprise and tried to kill you or something?”
“I’m fine now. Thanks for the help.”
“You goddamn idiot, if you ever do something like this again I swear to god-”
“Fuyu.” You stared at him.
“..Sorry, s/o.” He took a deep breath. “From now on you’re gonna stay at my dorm. You’re a danger to yourself. I clearly can’t trust you to take care of yourself so I’ll be doing it for you.”
“I don’t need a babysitter, Fuyuhiko.”
“Fuck yeah you do. And when I can’t watch you I’ll get someone to do it for me.”
“I’ll be more careful next time.” You got up and opened your arms. “Can I… have a hug?”
He didn’t say anything but allowed you to embrace him. “Don’t do this to me, s/o…”
You rubbed his back with your hand.
“As you know, I already lost someone very close to my heart.” He said. “I…won’t force you to sleep in my room or to be with me all the time. But please… At least tell me where you’re going if you don’t want me to go with you.”
“I understand.”
“Good.” He closed the distance between the two of you and kissed your lips.
When he pulled away he was blushing intensely, even though he was the one to kiss you. You laughed at his cuteness which he didn’t find very funny.
“I know that because of the situation we’re in you get worried when I’m alone.” You said. “From now on we stick together, okay?”
“Like you have to say it twice.” He smirked.
#danganronpa#sdr2#goodbye despair#hajime hinata#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#Nekomaru nidai#imagine#scenario#killing game
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Spilled Coffee || KakaSaku
This is a bit late @do-you-even-kakashi but here is your little gift. I hope you like it. Happy birthday 😚💖
————–
Sakura Haruno hummed quietly to herself as she waited in line for her coffee, foot tapping out a rhythm on the floor.
It was a good day, summer was coming to an end and the weather was a pleasant mix of sunny and cool. She finally was on a break from uni and being out in a crowd and seeing people was a nice change of scenery after being holed up in her apartment studying day and night for the past three months. The fact that she graduates after one more year was a bonus.
Of course, the good day couldn’t possibly last.
“Well if that isn’t Sakura!” The sound of her name made her look up, and oh boy, she wished she didn’t.
Walking her way was a couple she was all too familiar with. A dark haired man with black mysterious eyes and a lean strong build known as Sasuke Uchiha. Also known as her ex-boyfriend. He had his arm wrapped around a redhead’s waist. Karin Uzumaki, the name came to her without much struggle. The woman was a famous actress and a gorgeous one too.
She didn’t hate Karin, not really. It wasn’t her fault Sasuke was a cheating bastard. But she couldn’t help but resent her a little for ruining her perfect image of said man. Of course, that all was years ago, when they were still in high school.
Now, three years later, Sasuke was still with Karin. What was it that Sakura lacked, exactly? The rosette couldn’t help but wonder as she studied the approaching couple.
They were now within greeting distance and she steeled her nerves. It wouldn’t do to let him know he still had a small effect on her. “Oh, is that you Sasuke? Wow, it’s been so long!” Wish it’d been longer.
He smirked easily, guiding the redhead into line. “It has indeed. I haven’t seen you since graduation.”
Sakura hummed, mentally preparing herself for an emotionally exhausting conversation. She wondered iff she could somehow escape as soon as she got her coffee, and wished the workers would hurry up. “well, you know how life works. I’ve been busy.”
He nodded in agreement, with that same familiar smirk she once liked. Ugh, puke. “Hmm, I know. What are you studying?”
Sakura could help but smirk, she worked damn hard to get into a good university and she was proud of herself and her achievements, “medicine. Almost done with it… you?”
Sasuke shrugged nonchalantly, but there was a slight stiffening along his shoulder line, “finished law school and went back to playing football.”
Yikes, the last thing anyone wanted was for Sasuke to be a cop. That spoke of disaster.
“Yeah, maybe stick with football.” She agreed, moving to accept her drink with a barely concealed sigh of relief. “Well, I should get going, I have an appointment. Nice catching up with you.”
She was about to leave— scramble the hell out of there because his presence brought back really unpleasant memories of an insecure past-self she wished to banish— when Karin’s voice caught her attention, “go on. Invite her.”
Sakura reluctantly turned back to face the couple with a curious eyebrow raise, “invite me to what?”
“Our wedding. It’s next week.”
Sakura froze, and she had to make a conscious effort not to look like she walked into a solid brick wall. Wedding? …wedding!?
That little bastard— piece of fucking trash— asshole— little fucking— “oh. Oh, congratulations you guys!”
Her voice came out a little strained and she winced. Ugh, way to show him I’m over him.
“It would be lovely if you’d attend.” Karin said, smiling in that same pretty way she did on camera. Ugh…. “bring along a date too.”
“Um,” Sakura was a breath away from declining, claiming she needed to be on the other side of the country because she sure felt like it at that moment but then she caught sight of Sasuke’s challenging gaze and wow, fuck him, fuck that asshole, I’ll show him, “sure. I’ll be there. Just text me the details.”
She finally waved and hurried out of Starbucks. Once outside, she paused to take a deep breath and violently swear in her mind for agreeing. She was already regretting her decision— She didn’t even have a date! She’d rather die than show to his wedding with a dating. I’m a fuckin’ idiot.
“Hey, watch out!” She didn’t think this day could get worse but lo and behold, a man on a bicycle was hurtling towards her at insane speed and she barely had time to jump out of the way and avoid an early death.
Her coffee slipped out of her hold, splashing both her and nearby passerby’s pants and Sakura fell backwards, and it all seemed to happen in slow motion, much to her horror. She shut her eyes tightly, waiting for the shocking impact.
Firm arms however, caught her just in time and she and another person went crashing into the ground. Her back met something firm and warm, knocking the breath out of her and something sharp dragged across her palm causing her to she wince. She was only dimly aware of the feeling of a warm liquid trickling down her hand.
She looked down dazedly to see a piece of glass sticking out of her hand and gasped, a pained cry echoing from her throat.
“Hey— hey, are you okay?” A quiet voice rasped worriedly from behind her and she slowly turned to come face to face with…
She gasped again, and not in pain. The man holding her was Kakashi Hatake. One of her favorite authors of all time. Oh hell, apparently this day could get worse.
“I-I…” she stuttered, biting her lip to stop from letting out a pained sound. Her palm was pulsing and throbbing like there was no tomorrow and much to her displeasure, it was staining her clothes.
His dark irises slid to her palm then and they widened slightly, “damn,” he breathed reaching to carefully hold her palm up to inspect, “hey that looks pretty serious. Come on, you should go to the hospital.”
The pain had numbed her brain and she was barely aware of him lifting her up to her feet. “H-hospital?” His words suddenly registered in her mind. “W-wait, it’s fine. I'm— I’m a med student.”
He stared at her, somewhat surprised. “Med student?”
She nodded in confirmation, staggering out of his hold. She needed to get out of there, take care of her hand and hate Sasuke’s gut for the entirety of next week. And speaking of that bastard, the last thing she needed was for him to walk out and see her in her miserable state, hot coffee soaking her coat and blood dripping from her hand. “I’ll just go home.”
Kakashi eyed her disbelievingly for a few seconds before sighing in acceptance, “come on, I’ll drop you.”
She stared at him, speechless. He was even nicer than she expected, and he looked even better in reality. She’d only ever seen him on TV doing interviews about his new books. The scar running down his left eye looked even deeper face to face. She wondered how he could still use his eye… okay, she was drifting off topic here and he was now staring expectantly at her.
“Y-you don’t need to…” she stammered, embarrassed at having zoned out. “It’s a two block walk.”
He snorted and completely ignored her. He boldly wrapped and arm around her waist and began to guide her away, “don’t be silly, you’re leaking blood everywhere. I can’t leave you like this.”
Her mind was grumbling about how troublesome he was being but who was she even kidding, she definitely wanted this man’s company for a little while longer.
Kakashi walked her to his car, a shiny black thing that was rather enchantinh. She had no idea what kind it was, she really wasn’t into cars. But it looked nice, and the seats felt even nicer. She gave him the directions in a daze, her eyes roaming his side profile, mapping every detail.
His hair was darker than it looked on TV. In every interview she watched it was almost white, but looking at it now, it was a platinum shade that really complimented his pale complexion.
Faint freckles dotted his nose and cheeks and why wasn’t he a model, anyway?
Sakura stumbled her way out of the car when Kakashi parked outside her building and to her doorstep, aware of said man following her, looking ready to catch her if she fell.
They made it up the six flights of stairs and she fumbled for her keys until they unlocked her door, her fingers now shaking in pain.
She faintly remembered her manners and she turned to him as she hurried towards the kitchen, “make yourself at home!”
Once inside the familiar walls of her kitchen, she retrieved her first aid kit and got to work, grunting in pain as she extracted the glass shard from her skin.
He showed up just as she drenched her hand in antiseptic. They both winced.
The silver-haired man moved to inspect her work. “Will it need stitches?” He asked curiously, a hint of worry in his tone.
Sakura shook her head. “No, I just need to wrap it up.”
He nodded and watched her work. A few moments passed before he broke the silence, and sounded a little awed. “I didn’t imagine you were a doctor, what with the pink hair.”
She felt her cheeks flush slightly but didn’t look up from her injured hand as she wrapped it up, “it’s just pink hair, it doesn’t impair my ability to learn.”
He nodded absently. “Well it’s nice that you can take care of your injuries by yourself. I wish I could. I hate hospitals”
Her mouth quirked up and she comforted him, “I don’t do this often. I rarely get injured, but today’s just a bad day it seems.”
“Something happened?” He wondered, and when she raised her eyebrow, amended, “other than this I mean.”
Sakura sighed dejectedly and got into explaining her morning. “I ran into my cheating ex-boyfriend and his fiancé. He invited me to his wedding. And I don’t have a date. I really shouldn’t have accepted.”
“Then why did you?” Kakashi arched a questioning eyebrow and she was momentarily distracted by how attractive that simple action was.
“Because… I don’t want him to think I’m not over him or something.” She muttered embarrassedly and got up. “I’m going to change,” she announced, looking down at her coffee stained clothes. “There’s tea and coffee in the second cabinet, cups in the third, help yourself.”
As she hurried to her bedroom, it occurred to her that Kakashi was a stranger—an incredibly attractive one at that—and yjag it was unwise to have strangers go through your belongings unsupervised but somehow, she didn’t mind that much. Besides the fact that she desperately wanted to jump him, the man was a living breathing legend. His books were bestseller worldwide. She doubted anyone could call themselves a thriller fan and not know who Kakashi Hatake was.
His books were turned into movies, and he even acted in one of them. It was almost disorienting being in the presence of someone so great and successful.
She made a quick work of shedding her clothes and replacing them with a clean red dress that reached her knees.
When she made it back to the kitchen, she found him by the kettle heating some water, back facing her. The sight of his muscled shoulders was definitely distracting. She could almost see every detail, every dip and corner of his beautifully contoured body beneath his tight shirt.
He turned and smiled almost sheepishly at her when he noticed her there. Ridiculously, her stomach knotted.
He pointed at a blue book on top of her microwave as he stated. “You read my work.”
She wondered why he looked surprised. Most people read his work. “Yes. I love your work.”
He grinned in that way she was sure gave a few females a heart attack along the way. What with his sharp canines and dimple, “what’s your favorite?”
“Um,” she paused, going over her mental list of every book of his that she read. It really was hard to pick a favorite, “I really liked House of Crows… Will Of Fire too.”
“Ah,” he said, almost delighted, “my old work.”
“I like your recents too,” she assured, “especially Icha Icha, I didn’t think you’d ever write romance.”
“How badly did I fail?” He joked easily, turning to pour water in his tea cup.
“Oh hush,” she rolled her eyes. Silly man, it was a bestseller. “It’s awesome. I’m glad someone is continuing Jiraiya’s work. It was really unfortunate he quit.”
Kakashi shrugged and admitted, “he asked me to continue his work— his wife isn’t too fond of his more… lewd literature.”
Sakura snorted and moved to get herself a cup and a teabag, “too bad. But hey, you made them even better so I ain’t complaining.”
Kakashi smiled as he took a sip of his tea, “honestly I’m facing somewhat of a writer’s block lately. Everyone is demanding a new Icha Icha book but I’m not very inspired. I hate repetition. I want to write something different.”
Sakura poured herself tea and turned to regard the incredibly sexy man in her kitchen. How desperate is she that she almost entertained the thought of him having her on the table… “take your time. A good book is a well-thought out one.”
He hummed thoughtfully. He then started, “oh, wow, I didn’t get your name?”
Sakura couldn’t help but laugh, “right, it’s Sakura.”
“I’m Kakashi… as you already know.” He said with a slight awkwardness that was really funny coming from a man who’d written and published erotic novels.
He was slowly proving to her he wasn’t all what he showed in interviews. He always looked so self-assured and confident. And yet, here he was in her kitchen, smiling almost bashfully at her.
“Let’s make a deal.” He suddenly said, almost seeming like he’d gathered his thoughts. “If you let me… base my next character on you— forgive me but you’re just terribly intriguing— I’ll… accompany you to your ex’s wedding.”
Sakura nearly dropped her tea cup. Her mouth fell open and she stared at him in astonishment.
He hastily began to apologise, thinking he’d offended her but she quickly interrupted him, “you’d do that? You’d be my date if I just let you base your character on me?”
Kakashi paused, eyes wide in surprise, probably at her acceptance of the idea, “well, yeah… it’s a big deal to me. Just like your ex’s wedding is a big deal to you.”
“Nice.” She grinned and hopped onto the counter, excitedly, “please feel free to then. I expect a nice male protagonist.” Preferably you.
Kakashi threw his head back and laughed. “You got it.”
//
The next week blurred by, and Sakura saw Kakashi every day. A sudden bout of inspiration appeared to have hit him and he started spending more and more time with her, claiming that talking to her is keeping his inspiration running.
She really didn’t mind, he had a brilliant mind and she immensely enjoyed bantering with him. In that single week they seemed to have built something like a friendship with the undertones of sexual tension.
Sakura tried to convince herself that only she was aware of that tension because there was no question when it came to wanting to jump his bones but hey, you can’t blame her, he was a really attractive man. However, she could’ve sworn she’d sometimes catch him staring at her mouth like he might lunge over the table and kiss her. She surely wouldn’t have minded.
She held onto his arm as they walked into the reception. It was packed and overflowing with people dancing and drinking themselves into a stupor. Strangely, it didn’t feel as bad to be there anymore, especially with the company of someone like Kakashi.
She led him to where Sasuke and Karin were greeting people.
They both stared at the silver-haired man next to her, looking almost gobsmacked as she introduced him as her date. “Sasuke, Karin, this is Kakashi. Kakashi, these are Sasuke and Karin.”
Kakashi nodded politely, a small charming smile tilting the corner of his mouth, “congratulations. I wish you happiness in your marriage.”
They continued to stare until the silver-haired man quirked an amused eyebrow.
“A-ah, forgive me but… are you Kakashi Hatake?” Sasuke asked, eyes drifting between Sakura and the tall man holding her.
“The one and only.” Kakashi winked and Sakura had to admit he surely could charm about anyone. “I’ll see you two around, yeah? It was nice meeting you. Come on Sakura, I’ve been dying to try that strawberry tart.”
Sakura giggled, following him away. She gave him a thumbs up when out of the newly wedded couple’s view. “That was perfect. I can’t thank you enough.”
“You sure you don’t want to make out where they can see for the final touch?” He teased lightly, but something in his eyes told her he wasn’t entirely joking.
Her heart pounded. It was moments like this that convinced her the silver-haired man found her attractive, too. “That would make a terribly convenient Icha Icha scene wouldn’t it?” She raised a challenging eyebrow despite the heat pooling in her belly.
Kakashi paused and now they were at the edges of the room, next to a pillar and was it just her or was Kakashi backing her into a corner? “Hmm,” he hummed contemplatively. “It depends on whether I would have to drag you back to the car and peel this lovely dress off.”
His voice dropped to a smokey whisper and her breath hitched. She hadn’t realised how badly she wanted him until she could practically feel the heat radiating off his body. His hands landed on her hips and he gently pressed her against the wall, keeping her hidden from view.
“And then what?” Her voice wobbled slightly as she felt his hot breath on her face, electrifying her skin.
She felt his hand on the exposed skin of her thigh, where the slit of her dress extended all the way up to her hip. “And then,” he murmured, their noses almost brushing together. His thumb traced the waistband of her panties, “maybe find out if you taste as nice as you look.”
He swallowed her gasp as his mouth captured hers in a hungry kiss and she couldn’t help the embarrassingly needy moan that escaped her as his hot tongue traced her lower lip and slipped into her mouth to tangle with her own in a heated dance.
The sound of the wedding faded from her ears to be replaced by the sound of her heart pounding in her chest. His hand traced her sides, pinching her hips closer to him so that their bodies pressed together.
Sakura was about to completely lose herself to the raging fire in her body when Kakashi pulled away from her, lips kiss-swollen and eyes mischievous and dark with something that made her toes curl. “So… car?”
This man was going to be the death of her. “Definitely.”
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