#like the best i got is nick acting like a shit / pushing her away b/c of the kristoph thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ilovefandoms102 · 4 years

Text

Part 6-Shape of My Heart

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Falling in love with someone you can never have is the worst feeling in the world...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams @judayyyw @lonely-kermit @gviosca @iamaunicorn4704 @jellyfishbeansontoast @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @eb15 @hurricane-abigail @tangledinsparkles @fandom-phaser @sunwardsss @http-cherries @bibliophilewednesday @evaporatedrosepetals @thetomatosaucee @tomatosauceagent @redosmo @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @obx-direction-sos @mxltifandoms06

Part 5 Part 7

Note: Big shout out to my friend @jeyramarie for helping me edit this! She’s the best, make sure to go check her page out! I’ll be putting out more prompt requests tonight as well!

=========================================

The girls decided to take me out shopping, wanting to get out of the house for a little bit. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t avoiding Rudy after the events a few days ago, our almost kiss still engraved thoughts into my brain. There was more to the story than what I provided the Maddie’s and Mo with the other day...

Let me provide a bit of back story:

I was 11 years old the first time I was called ugly. I had developed a crush on one of my cousins best friends, asking him if he could possibly give me his number. When I asked why he wouldn’t he said ‘you’re ugly and fat’. I was struck with sadness, crying the rest of the day. I hated the way I looked from that moment on, no matter what I wore, how I fixed my hair, or how much makeup I put on...I still felt ‘ugly’.

Then came High School, the years of broken hearts. I stupidly fell for the senior bad boy, falling into his trap. I had finally mustered up the courage after about 6 months of us texting and hanging out to admit my feelings for him. He shot me down immediately, saying that he ‘wasn’t ready for commitment’. I was crushed, putting off boys for good.

My freshman year of college, I met a boy named Nick. He was my age, and we worked at the same retail establishment. Nick did some damage, scaring my mental mind. We became good friends, having the same personality and liking a lot of the same things. A few months in, he started to express romantic interest in me. He would hold my hand, call me cute nick names, play with my hair, and ya know stuff that would make anyone think a guy is interested.

I had told one of my co workers about our situation, her advising me to shoot my shot. I had planned on telling him that night how I felt, until he came and found me before I had got off work. He told me that he never felt any romantic way towards me, that it was all a game to make the fat girl fall for him so that he could crush my heart. I was floored by this, wondering what I could have possibly done to deserve that.

When I met Rudy, I couldn’t help but fall for him. His natural sense of humor matching mine made me feel things I didn’t think I could ever feel again. I pushed away those feelings however, it wasn’t worth the risk. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship because of a silly crush.

=======================================

I was startled from my thoughts when Rudy appeared to my side out of nowhere, taking my hand in his. I smiled as he intertwined our fingers, waving out locked hands back and forth dramatically.

We shopped ‘til we dropped, Chase now starting to complain about agreeing to come. Our stop at Sephora was the best though, the boys walked in with confused looks on their faces. Rudy trailed behind me as I walked each aisle, picking up random stuff to ask me what it is.

“Baby, what’s this? Why does it look like a marker?” he inquired, holding up eyeliner.

“That’s eyeliner, that’s what I used to do this.” I explained, pointing to my winged liner. An employee came up to us, both of us turning to smile at her.

“I just have to say, you two are the cutest couple.” she grinned.

“Oh we’re not-” I started, my eyes widening.

“Thank you very much.” Rudy said, grinning at her.

I eyed him as she walked away, rolling my eyes at his cute grin. He hugged me from behind, kissing my head soundly. I giggled, pushing him away playfully. I walked up to the counter, laying my stuff on the counter. I was digging through my purse for my credit card when I heard the telling sound of the receipt printing, looking to see Rudy putting his wallet back in his pocket. I glared at him, thanking the cashier as we walked away.

“You asshole, that was probably $100 worth of shit.” I huffed, digging out some cash to give him.

“I wanted to buy it for you.” he stated, shrugging his shoulders. I tried to hand him the money, but he ignored me.

“Rudy,” I snapped, shoving the money in his back pocket.

“Woah babe! If you wanted to touch my ass, all you had to do was ask.” he winked, smoothly putting the money back in my purse.

“Do not buy me anything else, I mean it.” I said firmly, stomping out of the store.

“We’ll see about that.” he smirked, holding the door for both of us.

==================================

I had bought a new outfit for the house party we were having tonight, actually feeling confident in myself for once. I had bought a lilac cropped halter top and paired it with some ripped jean shorts, topping it off with some white and black Adidas sneakers. I touched up what makeup I was wearing, Maddie B and Mo coming in. I smiled at the couple, twirling in my outfit for them.

“Dang girl look at you!” Mo cheered.

“Y/n, you look STUNNING!” Maddie B gasped, her hands crossing over her heart.

“I’m happy you pushed me out of my comfort zone, I feel pretty for once.” I said bashfully, my cheeks flushing from their compliments. Maddie C poked her head in, her eyes and mouth popping open.

“Oh my god y/n! Rudy for sure is hittin’ it tonight sister!” she praised, coming over to hug me.

“Oh please,” I scoffed.

“I saw how you guys acted today,” she raised her brow.

“He was just being friendly Mad,” I sighed.

“Who’s being friendly?” Rudy asked, the girls piling out of the room the second he came in.

He walked further in the room, his eyes widening when he took a full look at me. His gaze burned my skin, feeling it crawl over every inch. I looked down at my feet, shuffling them as I couldn’t take the heat. I felt my face burning, no doubt red as a tomato.

“You-....you look-” he stuttered.

“Bad?” I asked.

“God no! I...I’m speechless.” he laughed.

“Did little ole me make THE Rudy Pankow tongue tied?” I taunted, his cheeks beginning to match mine.

Rudy came closer, taking my hand in his. He held it up so I could twirl, a low whistle coming from his lips. I giggled, beaming at the man in front of me. He pulled my arms around him, his going to my hips. I felt the tension in the room rise as we gazed intently into each other’s eyes.

“You look amazing, beautiful.” he whispered, his blue eyes sparkling.

“Thank you,” I murmured, tilting my head down.

“Hey, these shots are going to drink themselves!” JD yelled, causing both Rudy and I to cackle.

I was a few shots in, feeling a bit tipsy already. Rudy had talked me into being on his team in beer pong, facing off against Chase and JD. I hesitated only because I hadn’t played since the last time I saw them.

“Babe come on please!” he begged.

“Yeah BABE!” JD said dramatically, earning a glare from Rudy.

“I guess it won’t hurt for me to give it a go.” I caved, picking up the ball.

We were in the middle of the game when Elaine walked in with Drew and Austin, my mood dropping slightly. She hugged everyone hello, saving Rudy for last. He side hugged her while she threw herself in his arms, both of them stumbling slightly. They laughed as they pulled away, and she laid a sloppy kiss on his cheek. I felt my heart crush a little, turning back to the game.

Rudy and I won surprisingly, double high fiving with the winning shot. The girls were tired of the boys, so they stole me to take me to the designated dance floor. Since it was just us girls, I let go, and danced without a care in the world. Elaine entered the room, sending a glare my way. I already had so much to drink from the shots and beer pong, I didn’t even pay attention to her.

Rudy entered the room, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I saw him do a double take, staring right at me as I danced. I smiled, winking at him. His mouth dropped, taking his cig out. I turned my attention back to Maddie C who had until now been my dance partner, Chase having stole her from me. I pouted as she mouthed an apology, but I soon felt a presence behind me. Rudy pulled me flush against him, his eyes a shade darker than normal.

He turned me around so that my back was to his front, rocking me to the beat. Tension was thick in the air, our bodies sensually moving together. I got a wild hair and pushed my ass harder against him, a grunt being heard from him. I giggled, pretending like I didn’t know what I did. He gripped my waist tighter, his fingers digging into what skin was showing.

“I’ll be right back,” I spoke, smiling as I walked away towards the bathroom. I walked to the bathroom in my room, reapplying some lip gloss. I fluffed my hair a little, and adjusted the girls to make them pop a little more.

I was looking down as I walked out, adjusting the pockets of my shorts when I was suddenly pinned against the wall. Rudy stood in front of me, his eyes wild as he stared into my eyes.

I gasped when he smashed his lips to mine, my heart soaring through the roof. This was my first kiss, and I got to share it with Rudy. I followed his lead, moving my lips with his. I assumed I was doing alright since he hadn’t pulled away yet, hands starting to explore everywhere. He touched his tongue to mine, and I hesitantly copied his movements.

Our movements soon picked up, the kiss becoming more heated. Teeth and tongues fighting to discover every inch of each other’s mouth. I had to pull away, becoming dizzy from the lack of air. Rudy moved his mouth to my neck, kissing the skin there. I moaned quietly when he bit down on my skin, leaving his mark. He smirked against my skin, taking his tongue to sooth the bite.

“Oh my,” I panted, gripping his shirt.

“You’re so pretty baby, I love this little outfit.” he said, running his nose up my neck and pulled back to face me.

“Rudy, what-” I started.

I didn’t get to finish since his lips came back to mine, silencing my inner thoughts. He walked us back towards the bed, sitting down with me in front of him. His hands grabbed at my ass, grinning when I let out a shaky breath. He pulled me sideways so he could flip on top of me, crawling up the bed with me. I reached out to grab his face, feeling the slight stubble that had formed.

It was when his hand reached under my shirt my inner thoughts came back, my eyes popped open.

What was I doing?

Was I going to give myself to Rudy?

We’re both too drunk for this...

This can’t be real...

He doesn’t even like me, what the hell was going on?

“Wait,” I breathed out, his hands stopping immediately.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” he asked, his eyes worried as they met mine.

“What is this? Wh-why did you kiss me?” I questioned.

“I thought that was obvious...I-I really like you, like a lot.” he confessed, scratching the back of his head.

“No, y-you can’t possibly...I-,” I stuttered, shaking my head vehemently.

“What do you mean no? Baby, I’ve given you every sign known to man that I like you. Do you...do you not feel the same?” he muttered, his eyes full of distress.

“I-I can’t do this.” I croaked, pushing myself off the bed.

“Wait y/n, please don’t go.” he pleaded.

177 notes · View notes