#like old timey ppl had some fucked up social mores and we hate gender roles but dance as a social activity. oh they were so right abt that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soldier-poet-king · 11 months

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i want to learn to dance. i want to learn to fight. i want to do something to truly learn to inhabit my body instead of having an uneasy, hateful truce on the best of days, and utter enmity on other days. perhaps i am a creature of the emotion and the mind. but i am a creature still

#this makes no sense but i saw a piece of art with a dancing couple and nearly burst into tears #not even ROMANTIC. it was just fun. joy. swing-ish #i just want to be alive. maybe that is it #the joyful self abandonment that comes with fully inhabiting the self #i want it. i need it #everything costs money and energy that i lack. alas #not to mention im alone. i dont have anyone to go learn dance WITH. am far too awkward and shy with strangers #i love touch but i am touch averse with strangers. idk why. a feral cat instinct perhaps #anyway. fight might be the option here. but still. i want that joy #its a macrocosm of the feeling when youre home alone and cooking with music on full blast #singing and dancing across the kitchen with a joy that can never be captured or explained #i will never be so happy as in those moments #mutuals move in w me i want a platonic dance partner. this is not a romantic overtone i really DO just want to dance #like old timey ppl had some fucked up social mores and we hate gender roles but dance as a social activity. oh they were so right abt that

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