I can’t imagine beating some people up to protect my brother, getting forced to take mania inducing medication that makes me feel extremely insane and violent constantly, all the while having to protect some guy from the MAFIA and then having not a single person treat you kindly or like understanding it at least. I know Renee does but I’m not far enough to know their dynamic yet. Andrew can’t even kill himself bc he has too many people to worry about rn and none of them even- I’m going insane actually. He lives in this shitty state where everything sucks but he literally can’t leave or back out bc too much rests on him but he’s also not even in full control of himself most of the time and when he is it’s illegal and he’s usually in withdrawals like. I’ve been under less stress than this and couldn’t do it like Jesus Christ. I am still not over the Colombia scene but he did think Neil was a threat to Kevin so I’m like. I don’t forgive you for that but I get it. But meds like that it’s genuinely horrible esp coming off of them and knowing what you did but no one cares about you so you might as well not apologize bc they won’t hear it and you know you’ll do it again tomorrow anyway. Idk his shit but literally how is he protecting multiple people from the mafia and said mafia is act scared of him what is happening there? I have several lines highlighted just about Andrew, every type of highlight has a color and he is solely one of the colors bc of this. I’m very susceptible to liking characters if I get enough propaganda about them as well which helps. But like. I get him idk. This book is also making me deeply consider making my own character groups worse like to each other bc I’ve wanted to but this was the last push. I will not be putting most of what she puts in though I don’t need them to be Nicky yk?

Oh also??? Did Neil’s mother beat the gay into him? He gets flirted with “his skin stung with the memory of his mothers blows” okay so he’s gay and emo great. “His hands remembered the weight of a racquet as well as the weight of a gun” EMO - 🫐

blueberry anon i cannot BELIEVE you're doing this to yourself but also ive collected another andrew truther so im happy. like literally his situation is so uniquely terrible and he has to just. deal with it. and he DOES and he still wants people in his life in spite of it all! tearing my hair out