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#like i dunno im still doubtful of adhd as the source but its at least more convincingly on my radar. i will doubt until i have a diagnosis
opens-up-4-nobody
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1 year
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#bleh brian is not working. too much static
#can't focus. i should sleep bc i gotta meet my boss at 8
#but things i will also do tomorrow: call my fucking insurance to figure out how to use it
#bc i have weird out of state insurance from my mum so like idk. but i gotta do it bc im gonna try to get an appointment with a psychiatrist
#bc my brain needs psychiatric attention lol
#but also the lab mate i went sampling with today recently got diagnosed with adhd and gave me the name of the plsce
#and i was like tell me what ur symptoms r like. and like if i have adhd it would b the plot twist of my life
#but also i have horrible horrible executive dysfunction issues and related to a lotta what she said so idk
#its just that i guess adhd has always been framed around not being able to meet deadlines in school and stuff
#and im like nah im good at meeting deadlines. im horriblly anxious and compulsive so i dont forget or miss deadlines or dates
#but my apartment and life out of school are in shambles bc i just originated around one draining focus
#and i just lay in bed and cry bc i cant clean my fucking apartment and my sink is becoming obstructed by clothes that for some reason i
#cant move? like fucking i dont kno. i tend to associate my broken brain stuff to dyslexia
#bc when i was tested they were like lol ur short term memory is fucking awful. very below average lmao
#so i was like oh my brain is not wired right. cool. but i dunno. i just need someone to assess my brain and tell me what's wrong with it
#like i dunno im still doubtful of adhd as the source but its at least more convincingly on my radar. i will doubt until i have a diagnosis
#in hand lol. but gotta find psychiatrist 1st. so gotta call tomorrow
#it will happen. i will make it happen
#unless the day goes off thr rails lol
#unrelated
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