The Canadian African has a recipe for tofu yassa, I'm about to be so powerful

all of the questions!

thank you so much my love

bubble bath: do you have any routines before bedtime? like skin care, etc.? what are they? i’m trying to establish a solid skincare schedule but i’ve been so ill in the last year that i’ve been literally incapable of figuring out how bedtime works?? so it’s pretty much just clean the litterbox (wash my hands) and brush my teeth most nights

champagne: what topic could you talk about for hours? shakespeare and also food network

crushed velvet: have you ever used your charm to get something you want? i have no charm lol

diamonds: how do you feel about excessively spending money? fun but don’t probably

faux fur: describe your wardrobe lots of dark colors, flannels, lots of dresses and striped stockings, lots of dark leggings

glitter: describe someone special to you fnfnfndskjs i can’t pick just one and leave ppl out!!! so: gina has been my friend since we were in, like, sixth grade. we hit a rough patch once but other than that she’s seen me through everything. i try to be a good friend to her bc i love her so much and i really want to help her feel happy whenever i can.river is my platonic soulmate. i’ve never met anybody more relatable & they’re so supportive of me when i’m not well. they never ever ever call me terms i don’t like applied to me (e.g. “psychotic”) because they know that whatever i’m experiencing is real to me and that’s enough. they show me so much affection & i show it back and they make me feel so loved. cassie (you) is someone i wish i’d spoken to earlier. you followed me for a while before we became friends and i noticed you in my notifications but was always a little shy to reach out to you. i’m really, really glad you came off anon one day because you mean a lot to me. rae has helped me so much, especially as i learn which of my traits are bpd related and how to cope with them. i try to be supportive because i love them and even though i know sometimes i’m not the best friend i could be, i hope they know how much i love them because they really mean the world to me. i wish all the best for them and even if i’m scared to reach out because i easily think people don’t want to talk to me, i’m sending them good vibes every single day. spence is somebody i’ve really only become closer with recently but i want to be closer to him. not a day goes by that i don’t think of him and send him good vibes. i luv him and he’s really fun to bake with and i hope he’s having a good day. (if we’re pals and i didn’t mention you, it’s not bc you don’t mean a lot to me! i’m just rambling a lot so i need to cut it off here.) 

gold: describe what you would call the most perfect meal. hmmm i really like breakfast food and especially oatmeal but i like it kind of watered down? so i would say slightly watery oatmeal with raspberries, peanut butter & co. chocolate peanut butter, slivered almonds, and a little honey, and also a croissant and green tea! or also i make the fucking best vegan peanut butter cookies so like a whole batch of those probably.

jazz: name a song that resonates with you and your emotions: explain the reason why. there are so many but most of all, in this moment right now, i’m going to go with “the high road” by broken bells. i listened to it a lot in eighth grade when my depression first really set in (i.e. to a clinical level episode instead of a more slightly-below-cyclothymia situation that i had going on from ages eight to twelve), and i’ve been thinking a lot about then because i had the chance to get help then and i passed it up, and that makes me really sad because maybe my illness wouldn’t have progressed as much as it did if i had gotten help earlier. lyrics like “come on and get your overdose / collect it at the borderline” make me think of the “borderline” between reality/psychosis even though that probably wasn’t the original intention, and even though i’m not quite there yet, i feel like it might be coming, which is why i’m being so aggressive with med changes right now. and it just sounds echoey and surreal, which is how i feel. 

lace: what is something in your life completely different from last year? my manic depression has gotten significantly worse. i have full blown mania now, which changed my diagnosis from bipolar ii to bipolar i. i know diagnoses are only ways for clinicians to know how to treat you, but that feels like a big deal to me. unfortunately, i’ve definitely gotten worse. 

lingerie: do you consider yourself to be a promiscuous person? not at all. i am severely sex-repulsed. i slept with a girl once and had such a severe breakdown i almost killed myself, & still have flashbacks to this day. 

lipstick: do you enjoy talking to strangers? not in the least. 

pearls: what’s something about your personality that surprises others? i think most people are surprised to find how desperate i am for validation until they get to know me. i’m told i come off as rather mature and pulled-together, so i think people who don’t know me well don’t realize how dependent i am on the opinions and validation of others. 

penthouse: what do you consider your dream home? describe it. a little cottage in the woods just on the outskirts of a little town! it would be made of uneven stones with ivy crawling up the sides and a garden out front. there would be a river nearby with willow trees. inside, it would be quaint and often a little dusty, with mismatched furniture found at tag sales and filled bookshelves everywhere. the kitchen would be the biggest room because i spend so much time baking in there. 

perfume: if you could make your own signature fragrance, what would it smell like? roses, honey, and vanilla. 

robe: how do you prepare for an evening alone with a loved one/date? clean up my room, pop hamlet into my dvd player, and bake something? idk i’ve never dated anyone,,

roses: if it had to be winter, spring, summer, or autumn for the rest of your life, which would you choose? autumn! when the air smells like cinnamon and cloves, it’s the perfect time for chai tea and pumpkin spice lattes, the leaves are beautiful, and it’s neither too hot nor too cold. 

satin: what is your most favorite article of clothing? black and white striped stockings :^)

sheet mask: what is your favorite lazy activity? drinking lattes and watching food network!

silk: do you have more inner beauty or outer beauty? neither i’m a bad person and a goblin

silver: do you have any obscure hobbies? what are they? i used to collect the tags on tea bags but i lost them all lol

sparkling water: what are your top three songs for the summer? for an ideal summer? (1) “my girl,” the temptations; (2) “rosalita (come out tonight),” bruce springsteen; (3) “on my way,” phil collins. 

wine: what kind of drunk are you? i’ve only been drunk during severe episodes but when i’m in a mixed episode and drunk i get very poetic and write a lot and i’m very self-reflective and stuck in the void and when i’m manic i’m just very giggly and i shout a lot.