#like ellie struggles with something and joel remembers telling sarah this and it comforted her | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mushrubes · 1 year

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j's lullaby

Masterlist | The last of us masterlist

Requested : No

Song : j's lullaby (darlin i'd wait for you) - Delaney Bailey

Pairing : Joel Miller x reader (No use of Y/n)

Pronouns : you/yours

Type : fluff

Contents : mutual pinning, grumpy + sunshine, canon divergent, wholesome <3

Word count : 1k

Have a great day / night !!

——–

Darling, I'd wait for you Even if you didn't ask me to

His eyes locked onto you as he watched you walk around, unable to tear his gaze away. A soft smile on his face as he saw you interact with the other citizens in Jackson. "What's up with you, old man?" Tommy grinned, earning a grunt from his older brother. Tommy turned to Ellie who also had a smirk on her face, knowing exactly what was going on. "Shut up." he grumbled, rolling his eyes at the pair of them. "Why don't you just tell them!" Ellie huffed, Joel rolled his eyes and turned to face them. "Because you know why. I'm no good for them." he huffed, placing his glass on the table and walking out.

"Has he always been this oblivious?"

----

Tie a lasso 'round the Moon And bring it on down to you

"That's Orion!" you smiled, pointing to the stars on your left that formed the constellation. You had slept over at their house, Joel claiming it would be too dangerous for you to walk home at this time. He had been sat out on the doorstep, something occupying his mind so you decided to come and keep him company. "You know a lot about the stars." he commented, his face softening as he saw you turn to him, a massive grin plastered on yours. "My sibling taught me a bunch about them! Of course until..." your voice trailed off, going quiet as you remembered them. "I know how you feel." he comforted, deciding it was right for you to know.

"I uh...I lost my daughter." he informed, voice quivering as he saw flashbacks and her screams replaying in his head. "I'm so sorry, Joel." you frowned, not pestering for the full story, and sat back down next to him, squeezing his hand as you intertwined yours with his. "It's okay, sweets. Feels nice to...talk about it." he assured, rubbing his thumb up and down your hand comfortingly. "Sarah...she would've loved you." he spoke up, a fond smile on his face as you turned to him. "Really?" you asked, butterflies swarming as you took it as the highest compliment you could get from him, aware of how rarely he spoke about her.

"I'm sure of it."

----

I'd bottle the feeling you give me And shelve that stuff for years to come

The town crowded as the horse came trotting through the gates, Ellie half asleep as Joel sat behind her. Tommy had to squeeze through, getting people to move as he helped the off the horse. Ellie got down first, Maria immediately embracing her as Tommy checked Joel. "Get Ellie back in, I'll be okay." he assured, shrugging Tommy off as he looked at the wound that was wrapped on his stomach. "I gotta go find-" he spoke, Ellie cutting him off. "It's okay, go. Just be safe." she pleaded, giving him one last hug before heading towards the houses with Tommy and Maria.

Joel looked around, trying to find the familiar face but struggled. "Excuse me!" a voice called, making their way through the crowd and going as quick as they could. "Sweets." Joel breathed out as he saw you, meeting you halfway and pulling you into a hug. He winced slightly as you hugged him too tightly, nudging his wound a bit. You pulled away in concern, lifting up his shirt slightly despite his protests. "Joel..." you gasped, seeing the mostly bloodied bandage. You grabbed his hand, pulling him along to your house.

"Let's sort you out."

----

'Cause, baby, when your arms are around me I'd swear that I'm holding the Sun

"Like this?" you asked, holding the gun up with both your hands as you pointed it at the target. You weren't far off, but if you did that towards a Clicker, there was about a 50/50 chance of you surviving. "Let me help, sweets." he chuckled, coming up behind you. You took a deep breath, trying to hide the blush that was coming up on your face and the heat rising to your cheeks.

"Okay, tighten your grip on it a bit more." he instructed, his hands on top of yours as he curled your fingers down. A fuzzy feeling took over your body, slightly zoning out everything Joel was saying. He gently pushed your finger, setting the trigger off. The sound of the bottle falling brought you back."Well done, darlin'" he complimented, his arms still wrapped around you as he swayed side to side.

Thankfully, you were faced the other way, unable to see the redness in his cheeks.

----

I'd give you the Sun if you asked me You could have all of the time

The only noise filling the area was the crackle of the fire. You were on the way back from a supply run, Ellie asleep in her sleeping bag in yours and Joels reach just in case something happened. "Joel?" you called, getting his attention. "Say this whole thing came to an end at some point, what would you do?" you asked, curious to know what his plans were if he even had any.

He was quiet for a few minutes, thinking to himself. He hadn't considered any of this - aware of it being most likely unachievable. "I'd want a modest life - much quieter than the life we have now. I'd like an old farmhouse. Some land - a ranch. I'll raise sheep. They're quiet and do what they're told unlike some people." he slightly joked, looking at Ellie for the last part and gaining a laugh from you. He saw you shiver slightly, taking his jacket off and wrapping it around your shoulders while holding you close to his side.

You could have the stars and the trees When dividing up the Universe

"What about us?" you hesitated, not looking at him. Gaze fixated on Ellie's sleeping figure, too scared to see his reaction. "What about us, doll?" he asked, wanting to make sure he wasn't reading this interaction incorrectly. "What would happen to us?" you questioned softly. He lifted your head up gently, a hand under your chin as he met your eyes. "Sweets, tell me I'm not reading this wrong." he whispered, his mouth only a few centimetres away from yours. "You're not." you whispered, leaning closer, your breath hitting his face.

Joel leaned in, connecting his lips with yours and he knew right there, he'd do absolutely anything for you, no matter what.

You could have mine You could have mine

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lunarastrobabe · 3 years

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Joel Miller x F!Reader: Sleepless Night

(Fluff/Angst) (Age Difference) (Warning: Details of smut included)

Joel sat down on one of the chairs on his porch, clutching his guitar in one hand, and coffee in the other in his well-known owl mug. Letting out a heavy sigh, with tired eyes and set the guitar by his feet, taking a sip from his drink. He had struggled sleeping the past few nights due to the last patrol he had went on with [Y/N]. The memory of her getting jumped by runners and her cries for help traumatised him. Thanks to him, he saved her life. It wasn’t the first time he had saved her or risked his life to keep her safe, he was determined to protect her. Since that day, he’s been avoiding her. He had never spoken to her openly about his past, and he knows if these feelings keep growing, he would regret not talking sooner.

He remembered when she had arrived at Jackson a year and a half ago, being only 25 and having no family, she found it hard adjusting to new people, new faces. After a few months, she settled right in, getting to know Ellie and Dina and helping out on patrols with them every now and then, and having a brotherly-sisterly bond with Tommy. He took her in to his house, she didn’t know anybody and Joel was the first person she had met, feeling he was trustworthy.

Staring at the dark liquid he swirled it around in circles not noticing you had went looking for him, she stood in the doorway of the front door, her hand on the doorframe.

“Joel?” Her quiet tone was like music to his ears. Jackson was peaceful, most of the area was asleep, snow covered the ground like a blanket. He jumped a little at her presence, but relaxed realising it who it was.

“Evenin’.” He says, setting his almost empty mug of coffee on the small wooden table, which was now cold from the length of time he was lost in his thoughts. His voice was rough, feeling exhausted from the lack of rest.

“Can’t sleep?” She asked, closing the door behind her, keeping quiet as possible not to wake up the nearby neighbours and took a seat beside him. He shook his head at the question. “No.”

She pulled her jacket closer around her body and crossed her leg over the other. Joel shifted in his seat a little, clearing his throat. She looked over at him, watching the wind go through his soft, silver hair. His heart skipped a beat, feeling her eyes scanning him, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“I never said this before but,” She started, moving her hair from her face. “Thank you, for saving my ass again.” He turned his head, looking over at her, he had missed that smile, he had missed her laughter when they would patrol and she’d throw snowballs at him. Seeing her around Jackson, having that friendship with Ellie and Dina, offering to take dangerous patrol areas to keep the town safe. Risking her life multiple times to save others. The sound of her name or the sound of his name being spoken by her, feeling a sense of new-found love and happiness, something he missed experiencing a long time ago.

“S’alright darlin’.” He gave her a half smile, his hazel eyes filled with fear, and pain, he masked it well and she noticed. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, the way her eyelashes fluttered, or when her nose would scrunch up when it was cold, or when they would sit by the fireplace while he strummed his guitar.

“Um, Joel?” She looked at her lap and fiddled with her fingers. He sat up in his chair, his hands resting on his thighs. “Is everything okay? I haven’t .. seen you, for a while.” Her words had a nervous feeling to it. He exhaled heavily. He had to tell her what was going on in his mind, the thought of her blaming herself for his avoidance was already worrying him. He was the only one she trusted with anything, especially from the start. Every night, if she needed his comfort, his in particular, he would be there for her, he’d make coffee for her and sit with her and let her vent to him about anything that bothered her. He never wants her to feel alone, and during that time of knowing her, he fell in love, and he knew he was, he kept it inside, fear of losing her, like he had lost Sarah and Tess.

“Let’s go inside and talk this out.” He stood up, taking his guitar gently in his hand and the empty mug, guiding her back in the house. The heat from the lit fireplace warmed up the room. Kicking off his shoes, he set the guitar next to the couch, and went to the kitchen to make the coffee, keeping up the tradition. She sat on the couch and patiently waited for him to return, admiring the large bookcases. Sounds of spoons clinking together and the shuffling of his feet across the floor made her smile.

Joel returned, holding two mugs of hot coffee and placing them on coasters on the small coffee table. Her eyes watched his every move, thanking him for the drink, smiling to herself, he remembered to put some cinnamon in her drink, that being her favourite. The curtains were shut and there was silence between the both of them, the fire was the only sound in the room. She sat cross-legged and turned her body to face his, holding the mug in her hands tightly warming up her cold fingertips, waiting for him to explain.

He sat there for a while, figuring out how to explain his behaviour to her, the guilt inside of him eating him away. A sad expression washed across his face. She frowned and looked down at her drink.

He set his mug on the coaster again, letting out a sigh and looking over at her. He felt her eyes burning into him, as if they were looking into his soul. “That day, when the infected attacked you,” He always found it hard expressing his true feelings when it came to people he cared deeply about, afraid that more loss and more pain would return. She listened to him, she really listened, understanding every word he was saying. “watching you struggle and cry, it-, it terrified me. Terrified of what would happen if, I hadn’t stopped it.” A glistened look covered his eyes, he kept his composure, trying to stop himself from breaking down.

She set her mug beside his, taking in what he had just told her. As he continued, “I’ve had, a great deal of loss, fighting to survive all these years, but, also fighting to protect you,” He rubbed his bearded chin with his hand. “I don’t want those things, out there, to turn you into one of them.” He pointed to the window, gesturing to outside. His thick Texan accent growing deeper, the difficulty expressing this made his stomach flutter.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling touched by his words and realising, she meant more to him than he let on. She was patient with him, knowing he was closed off, always kept to himself, no matter the situation. He was more worried about the feelings and well-being of others than his own.

“But, why me?” She asked softly, he knew she appreciated everything he’s done and still doing for her and for her safety. Her actions of being there for him when he needed her was enough proof. Actions speak louder than words. His brows furrowed at her question. Keeping her eyes down, away from looking into his eyes.

“You go through near-death experiences when it’s us together, you’ve slain multiple clickers and bloaters, you’re so hell-bent on keeping me as close as possible to you. There are other people who need more protection than I do.” She felt guilty for causing him to put himself through horrible situations, feeling like she was forcing him to look after her. “I just, feel like a burden.” She bit her lip, worried at his response.

“Look at me,” He whispered in a raspy tone. When she refused to look into his eyes, he spoke once again. “Darlin’.” That little pet name was a little secret that only they knew about. He reached over, tucking hair behind her ear and turning her face to look at him, a hand resting on her cheek. His large, warm, rough hands felt like a security blanket to her. All the anxiety and stress he felt, washed away when his skin came into contact with hers.

“You ain’t ever been a burden.” His eyes stared into hers, all he ever wanted to do was love her, make her feel special. His body shifted position. She had no trouble opening up to him in the past, he knew her like the back of his hand, he knew about her family, her childhood, the trauma she experienced, he felt deeply connected with her, they both had experienced loss.

There have been times where he’s had thoughts of making love to her, just to hold her close to his body, being as gentle as possible. The dream of pushing her against the wall, both their hands hungrily grabbing at each others clothes to tear them away. Her pushing him closer to press his hard-on against her core, to feel how much he wanted her. Grabbing at her thighs as she’d grind herself against him, her soaked panties staining his jeans. Curiosity being a main factor, wishing to know what she tasted like and what he tasted like between the sheets. To graze his lips across her skin, to feel her body tense up underneath him when hitting her high, her nails digging into his skin as he pushed in and out of her. He longed to hear her soft moans, her calling his name as he made her his own, tangling fingers through her hair. He never wanted to let her go. She had never laid with a man before, as she had told him subtly in the past. She had been having those thoughts and feelings towards him just as much as he did. Her having no experience with sex in general speak, in her mind, she knew exactly what she would do.

He took her face in his hands, rubbing her cheek with his thumb, he didn’t like feeling vulnerable, but it was overpowering, he wanted to kiss her, right there, right now. She slowly moved her position and kneeled in front of him, his hands sticking to her like glue. She moved little bit closer.

“You promise?” She whispered, his skin covered in goosebumps, feeling the closeness of their faces just inches apart. Her lips hovering over his.

“Yes.” He replied. She was now in a crawling position, her hands finding their way into his lap then moving them to his grey t-shirt, running her hands up his chest and finally resting them on his shoulders. His breath was shaky, waiting for it to finally happen.

And there it was, his lips brushed against hers, his facial hair tickling her mouth. It was slow and innocent at first, his body tensed but relaxed, both getting used to what was happening in the moment. He pulled back for a moment, feeling a little embarrassed at the sudden urge. His eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips. Licking his own, wanting to taste her fully, she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning her body weight on his chest, his arms snaked their way around her waist, holding her tight, worried if he let go, she would disappear. She let out a slight giggle, leaving him with a comforted feeling that she wasn’t rejecting him.

“Kiss me again, cowboy.” The use of the word ‘cowboy’ surged through his veins, kissing her once again, his tongue diving in taking dominance. His grunts and her moans against the kiss was too much to bare. Feeling beads of sweat on his forehead and her heavy panting, he pulled back and looked once again in her eyes.

“Take me.” She ran her fingers across his lips, his mouth curving at the side with a smile.

“You sure?” His fingers ran up and down her sides.

“Show me what you’ve got.” Replying as she kissed the corner of his mouth.

That burning feeling of lust, desire and attraction possessed them. Feeling a sense of love in his heart, he felt whole.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #the last of us 1 #the last of us 2 #the last of us #the last of us part 2 #the last of us part two #the last of us ii #tlou1 #tlou2 #tlou #naughty dog #x reader

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starlessskies94 · 4 years

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Consequence (Joel Miller x OC)

Summary: What if Joel survived his injuries from the Abby and Fireflies attack but ends up with really bad amnesia. He can’t remember his wife, Ellie, or the Outbreak; only before. How will his family bring back the man they once knew?

Pairing: Joel Miller x OC

Note: I will say that this chapter was a hard one to write...not because of story reasons, I'm just don't feel 100% happy with it. I've edited it time and time again; to the point it's driving me mad. So I've decided to post it as it is because I really don't want to keep obsessing over it and want to continue onward as I believe this plot is good and really don't want to put myself off writing it. I'm actually enjoying it so I'm trying not to push myself or be too critical and take the fun out of it.So I do apologise if it's a disappointing chapter and really hope you do enjoy it.

Chapter Five

The whole town was staring at her, she could feel it when she passed. She’d only stepped out for a quick trip to the general store to grab some last minute ingredients for her and Ellie’s supper. And yet she still felt every set of eyes burning into her back as she made her way home.

They’d been gossiping again, it was painfully obvious. Since Joel’s attack and their unplanned...separation, it seemed like everybody had an opinion on the situation.

Some not agreeing with her choice to give Joel his space; claiming she was ‘abandoning’ him, that she was selfish and cruel. Others had fabricated the idea that she herself had actually planned the attack as revenge for an apparent infidelity Joel had.

It was all ridiculous and Ada didn’t know how much longer she could put up with it. She’s been more than grateful to Ellie for covering her shift in the stables for the past couple of days. It had given her some time to escape it all and pretend it wasn’t happening, just for a little while. Ada was downright exhausted from trying to hold it together. She missed Joel like crazy, wasn’t sleeping after being used to sleeping beside him for years and even when she did manage to fall asleep, it was only racked with nightmares.

She continued down the street; backpack in hand with her groceries inside weighing it down as she struggled slightly, but carried on in her rush to get back. Her boots crunching against the slush of melting snowing under foot, it was quickly beginning to thaw; a clear sign that Spring was well on its way. It was hard to believe it had been almost a whole month since Joel’s attack and though Ada hadn’t spoken to him since he’d woken in the infirmary; she still hoped he was doing okay.

She’d kept up to date on his progress through regular updates from Tommy and it had broken her heart when he’d told of the first day he’d returned to find his older brother, a sobbing mess on the floor of his trashed room as he desperately tried to understand what had happened to him.

It had made her question her decision to leave Joel with time to heal. That perhaps it wasn’t what was best for him. But Tommy had told her he was still struggling to piece his timeline together after losing Sarah. He had taken the time to help with the early years of the Outbreak; all the way through to their time in Boston. But then Joel had gotten overwhelmed and hadn’t brought it up since. That had been enough for them to agree Joel wasn’t ready to process his time as a Smuggler and everything else that had come after it.

At times it almost seemed as if he was repressing most of it and if Adaline was honest, she couldn’t blame him. It was a hard life and most wished they could forget the horrid things they’d done to survive. She just deeply hoped that part of him wasn’t holding back his memories of her and Ellie.

It seemed that her deep thoughts had run away from her as she suddenly bumped into a large chest almost slipping on some snow. The tug of large gloved hands stopped her as they held gently onto the small of her back and she managed to steady herself. Ada quickly collected herself as she looked up at the face of her saviour and her heart almost stopped.

“Whoa easy there...you okay miss?” Joel smiled kindly, taking a step back as his arms fell back to his sides. Ada gulped down a gasp, choking slightly at her words before speaking.

“Ye- Yes...Thank you.” She forced, her heart drumming in her chest. Both staring at one another in an awkward silence. She looked at him and almost cried. He stood balanced with a cane in his hand, his kind eyes sore and bloodshot from exhaustion as he looked back at her. His clothes were noticeably loose on his frame, she wondered when he’d last ate. Joel was a terrible cook, it had always been her job to keep him well fed. It had been a long running joke between them but now it just made her hurt. She swallowed hard pulling at the bag in her hand, her feet shuffling as she quickly thought of something to say.

“I’m sorry for walking into you, my mind was somewhere else completely.” She explained pitifully, Joel just smiled again while waving his hand dismissively.

“Nah don’t worry about it, I was just trying to find my way home.”

“Are you lost?” She asked almost too fast, her brows creasing in concern. Her husband cringed at the blatant embarrassment he felt at forgetting his way back after leaving the stables but it’d been a long day and after failing to find his younger brother, Joel was quite content with simply heading home and waiting for Tommy to find him, rather than wander around Jackson all day. Though it had seemed on his way back, he had gotten confused with the winding streets and ended up right back where he started. He blushed at Ada’s concern, his hand reaching up to rub at his neck in that bashful way he always did when he felt flustered. Even now Ada still found it adorable.

“Yeah...You...uh... wouldn’t happen to know where I live would ya?” He asked sheepishly. “Yeah I can walk you back if you want, it’s not that far from my place.”

He nodded, falling into a gentle pace beside her as they walked together. Ada keeping her speed slow enough for him to keep up with his cane aiding his injured leg.

“Hey I wanted to thank you…” Joel started as they continued walking, Ada glancing his way while he continued. “You were a volunteer at the infirmary right? Adaline...You helped take care of me while I was in a bad way. Don’t think I ever managed to thank you for that.”

Ada smiled timidly.

“Yeah that’s me, it's just Ada. You’re welcome. I’m...I’m glad you’re okay.”

They continued walking as the silence fell between them but it wasn’t comfortable like it normally was. It felt strained and rather awkward. Joel would wince at the ache in his bad leg the further down the street they went and Ada could tell he was frustrated with the cane he’d been given to accommodate his injury. He’d always been a bad patient, stubborn and restless; even with something as simple as a cold she had struggled to keep him in bed to rest. Ada would steal the occasional glance at him when he wasn’t looking, it felt strange to miss him now even though he was right beside her. She wanted to hold him, kiss him, even settle for falling asleep together on the couch as a crappy movie played on in the background.

Joel paused as they approached his house...their house. His eyes almost searching hers for something she couldn’t quite place. He smiled sincerely, leaning on his cane the longer he stared at her. They stopped and stood at the bottom of the small set of stairs that led to the patio.

“Think this is me...Thanks for this.” He grinned. “I still can’t remember what the hell happened, been going over it in my head damn near a thousand times and I still got nothing. But I’m grateful your girl and her friends found me when they did.” This caught Ada’s attention, brown eyes snapping back up at Joel.

“You talked to Ellie?”

“Yeah at the stables earlier this morning. Her and her girlfriend...Dina? Yeah that sounds right. She’s a good kid.”

“She is.” Ada agreed. The sadness weighing heavily in her heart at the lost and pain Ellie had struggled with since Joel’s attack. Her mind instantly filled with worry, hoping she was okay. She listened politely to her husband the more he talked about Ellie and the hard work she was doing with Dina and how proud she should be that her daughter was handling things so well at such a young age. Our daughter, she’d thought with a broken heart. Tommy had explained patrols to him a short while ago and he was amazed at how many teenagers had offered to take the watches and joined the ranks to protect the town. It was impressive to Joel to see so many young people step up to take care of their families. Even if he did think some were a little too young to be taking such dangerous routes. Ada smiled at the same old Joel shining through, it made her realise just how much she truly did miss him. She was about to bid him a bittersweet goodbye, preparing to force her away when all she really wanted to do was pull him close, even just for a moment, when he cleared his throat. A serious look darkening his features.

“Listen, I meant to ask before but I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate or not but I uh...heard you in the infirmary not long after I woke up. You were upset, asking about your husband I think, I guess I just wanted to ask if everything was okay.” His words were quiet but she heard them, her breath catching in her throat, heart racing as she panicked, rushing to string her words together to answer.

“Uh...he’s...gone. He went out on patrol a couple weeks ago. He still hasn’t come back yet.” It wasn’t a complete lie. After all, the man that had returned from patrol that day hadn’t been her husband. He was a stranger to her now. A ghost that just looked like her Joel. It struck her as she wondered if that side of him really would stay gone. That there really was the possibility that he really never was going to come back. It turned her cold the more she thought about it.

Joel’s face fell as he dropped his gaze to the floor, a sad sigh brushing passed his lips.

“Damn...I’m really sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you. How hard that must be for Ellie to lose her dad like that…”

“You have no idea.” She breathed. Those were the words that came from Ada’s lips but more than anything she wanted to tell Joel how much Ellie missed him. How much they both did. But Ada knew she couldn’t be selfish, telling Joel now would only further overwhelm him, confuse him. And that wasn’t fair on anyone. None of this was. It wasn’t Joel’s fault, he was just trying to be friendly to someone he thought was a simple acquaintance. But Ada didn’t think she could stand there much longer and continue to pretend this wasn’t tearing her apart inside.

She turned pulling at the bag of groceries and forced a small smile Joel’s way as politely as she could.

“I should really be heading back, you think you’ll be okay now?”

“Oh yeah, thanks again. It sounds ridiculous to need help getting to a house you’ve lived in for years but I’m pretty sure I’ve got it now. I’m sorry for prying too, it’s obviously upset you. That wasn’t my intention.” Ada could almost laugh at the fact that even now after everything; Joel could still see right through her mask and sense how she was feeling. It was one of the reasons she fell in love with him. “I’m sorry about your husband Ada... I really hope he finds his way back to you and your girl.”

“Yeah me too.” She didn’t look back as she walked away. She couldn’t. It hurt too damn much.

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By the time she got home, Ada couldn’t even feel the chill in the air anymore. She was too damn numb to know it was even there.

Her hand was shaking when she reached to unlock the door but found it was already open.

“Ellie?” She called out stepping inside the door. “Ellie you home?” She tried again, making her way through the small house and wandering into the kitchen to put away her groceries. Still nothing.

She noticed her daughter’s jacket and boots thrown in a heap by the back door and rolled her eyes with a huff. I’ve told that girl a hundred times to put her stuff away! She thought in irritation as she moved to tidy them up.

“Ellie!”

There was still no answer and Ada came to the conclusion that the teen must be in her room, headphones in, music cranked up again. Slipping off her own boots, she made her way upstairs. She could hear Ellie stomping about her room, moving to knock at the door before entering. When she stepped inside she hesitated when she saw her daughter rushing around the space, darting back and forth with clothes and packed food. Her gun was cleaned slid into the back of her jeans along with her faithful pocket knife in the back pocket of her jeans. Ada's eyes widened at the maps and, marked photos and tourist leaflets littered across Ellie’s bed.

“Ellie what do you think you’re doing?” She choked out, her voice strained against her suddenly dry throat.

The girl didn’t look up at her mother as she hastily continued to pack.

“What does it look like?” She uttered. “I’m going after them.”

“The hell you are! Put this stuff away now.” Ada ordered, this made Ellie stop. As she looked back at her mom with pure venom in her eyes. Her lips curled in anger. Although it had been nearly a month since Joel's attack, Ellie and Ada still haven't addressed the elephant in the room. The same damn thing that had been hanging over all of them since Saint Mary’s Hospital. The Fireflies.

“So they just get to get away with this?!” She spat at the older woman. The anger boiling in her veins as she stomped back over to the mess of maps on her bed. “Mom I can find those fuckers, Tommy said he’d gotten word they were headed towards Seattle. Dina agreed to help me with this, we can find them and I can-”

“Ellie they don’t matter anymore. It’s over. Joel is what’s important and he needs us here.”

The teen scoffed bitterly at her mother’s words, biting hard on her lip almost drawing blood. Her hands clenched tightly until her knuckles burned.

“They don’t matter?! They almost killed him, tortured him and you’re just gonna let them walk away?!”

“They believe he is dead and we need to keep it that way, you go running after them, whaddya you think they’ll do huh?! Joel needs us here, when he remembers-”

“STOP WITH THE BULLSHIT!” Ellie screamed. “He’s gone mom, don’t you get that?! He doesn't remember us! We mean nothing to him! Stop pretending everything is going to be okay because it fucking isn't! Joel’s gone!" Her mother froze at her words and Ellie gasped as her hand flew to cover her mouth at what she’d just said.

Her brain slowly catching up with her as the tension melted away, the air almost sobering the two as they stared blankly at one another. Brown eyes welled with tears, slowly rolling down Ada’s cheeks. The woman falling to her knees as a wet sob broke from her lips, Ellie rushed to her mother dropping beside her with arms attempting to pull her close.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry mom.” She whispered into her mother’s hair, holding her close against her shoulder. “I shouldn’t...I never should’ve…” She felt at a loss for words. For what could she possibly say to make up for it. It was cruel and she wished more than anything that she could take it all back.

Ellie was tired of hurting people, tired of losing and watching those she loved leave. What good was being the fucking cure to mankind if all it did was bring misery and death everywhere she went?! It wasn’t fair! She hadn’t asked for this, hadn’t wanted to be immune or some special chosen one. Since the day she’d been bitten nothing had been the same and nothing had been easy.

But when she’d finally had the chance to have something good...a real fucking family. It had been cruelly snatched her just like everything else!

Ellie knew how much her mom missed Joel, how heartbroken she was. She held her as she cried for a man they both knew had a strong chance of never coming back. What if he never remembered? She had spoken to him and it had been like talking to a stranger. A man so far gone that he couldn’t even remember her name.

In that moment Ellie broke, collapsing against her mother as she felt hands rub at her back in that soothing way she’d always done since she was a baby. They sat and they cried together. Mother and daughter mourning for a lost husband...and a lost father.

#joel miller #joel miller x oc #joel and ellie #the last of us part 2 #the last of us #the last of us part ii #fanfiction #Starlesskies writes

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