#like arghhh. my god. the amount of lying to and numbing and controlling himself he might have had to do to keep a place in his society
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hey. elias hodge autistic headcanon, hm?
more in the tags, mild spoilers of ep 2
#mentopolis#i like this headcanon :) can't get over how compelling elias is as a character#of course he doesn't have to be interpreted as autistic but for me at least#like. burnt out overachieving teacher's/boss' pet who's gone through life somewhat disassociated from certain parts of his psyche/senses#trained himself to run on constant cortisol and self-denial/punishment to fulfill expectations and fulfill the potential people see in him#able to almost completely check out from workplace politics and hyperfixate on work and ambition#like come on. neurodivergent gifted kid who didn't burn out or get disillusioned quickly enough to stop him from becoming an employer's tool#not to mention some of conrad and the fix's social awkwardness being super relatable#like arghhh. my god. the amount of lying to and numbing and controlling himself he might have had to do to keep a place in his society#the way he took that skating incident so much to heart and locked up a part of himself so rigidly to try not to be hurt anymore#in those ways i relate to the fella i rlly do
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