fuck marry kill. nico, jack, sid ❤️

saving the hardest one for last. 

sigh. this is cruel.

okay. like the only hockey I want to fuck is Sidney Crosby, but also the only hockey I’d want to like marry is also Sidney Crosby. ahhhhh, fuck it! we’re doing it live.

FUCK  - Nico Hischier. 

MARRY - Sidney Crosby. 

KILL - Jack Hughes.

gosh, this is painful. Jacky Boy! You’re just absolutely too young for me and I am not attracted to you at all and I just think you’re swell. I guess I could have married you and we could have refrained from any intimacy, but like actually Sid is like the only man I’m actually physically attracted to like he’s the only reason I’m bisexual. And I would marry Sidney Crosby every day of the week. so you simply just got the short end of the stick here. I’m so sorry. Please know I love you dearly. I just...don’t want to fuck you or marry you. And evil evil evil Sab is forcing me to kill you. 

I feel...wrong, alas.