#lately i feel like i'm beating myself up for being too fragile and unstable to even make a good martyr | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

creambunnie · 6 years

Text

Break

YoungKXReader

Fluff Angst

You smiled widely when you saw him laughing on TV. You love him so much. He had went through a lot to be someone this great. A great artist, a great musician. He's a genius, you wouldn't deny that. You were happy you were able to support him during his troubled days. You managed to comfort him and cheer him up. Your wish was to be by his side forever. But sometimes, you wanted to be selfish too. You wanted him all for yourself. You didn't want to share him with thousands of people.

You chuckled and switched off the TV once you saw him leaning down to let his duet partner whisper into his ears among the busy crowd. You knew it was only for work. But you can't help but to feel jealous when he is around other women. You knew he was loyal. He was the nicest person you have ever met. Your heart just tightens when other girls get close to him. Was it your insecurity? Your anxiety? Your trust? You were confused.

*Younghyunnie♡*

The name popped up on your screen. You sighed and slowly unlocked your phone.

' Hey babe, I may come back late tonight. I have to help Sumin with her debut track. Just eat dinner first alright? ' . -Younghyunnie♡

You gulped and prevented yourself from crying. You replied him with an 'okay' and went to your shared bedroom. You knew Sumin was just a trainee Brian was helping out. But Sumin is such a beautiful girl and a talented girl. You could never beat her. You lied down on your bed and stared at the ceiling. It had been almost a week since Brian came home late because of his schedules and him helping the trainee out. Of course he tried his best to come as early as possible. But by the time, he was already very tired. You missed him. You didn't need him to be with you everyday, you just wanted a few hours from him where you could catch up with him and tell him your stories about your new online business. You didn't have the appetite to eat anymore. You just wrapped your body with your blanket and stared into space.

You were startled when you heard the front door being unlocked. You looked at the clock. It was almost 1am. You slipped out from your blanket and went out to welcome him. You gave a small smile as he saw you. "You're not asleep?".He asked softly. You shook your head and stood in front of him, waiting for him to arrange his shoes before greeting him with a hug. "I can't sleep. I missed you so much,". You whispered.

Brian carressed your hair and pecked the top of your head. "I missed you too Baby,". You pulled away from the hug and stared into his eyes. He smiled and carressed your cheek with his thumb. Brian suddenly frowned and carressed your eyebags. "Have you been crying, Baby? Why are your eyes swollen?". You chuckled and just gave him a smile. Brian pulled you to the sofa and sat down beside you. "If there's something bothering you, please tell me,". He asked gently.

Your eyes began tearing up. He was too nice. You were afraid of hurting this fragile being for confessing your true feelings and thoughts. You took a deep breath before facing your fiance.

"Look, I understand you and I support you with everything that you do. But, I can't help it. I feel hurt when other girls get close to you. I know you are just doing your work. But you are so nice to everyone that they might misunderstand your kindness as flirting. I'm not trying to control your life or whatever, I'm just, I don't know. One of the reasons I fell for you was your kindness. And it is no doubt others might too. plus, I know I'm not much compared to your talented duet partner or the beautiful trainee. I'm just afraid of losing you,".

You expected Brian to comfort you and give you a hug. But his reaction surprised you. Brian frowned and shook his head. He suddenly raised his voice at you.

"So you're saying that I might cheat on you with my colleagues? Don't you trust me? Am I that bad? Honestly, I'm your fiance, not just a mere boyfriend. How could you think badly like that of me?".

You shook your head and stood up, towering above him. "No! That's not what I meant!".

Brian scoffed and rolled his eyes. "That's what exactly you were implying on. I trust you so much but you don't trust me?".

You stomped your feet to stop him. "Stop! I was just trying to tell you my insecurities! I was not accusing you of anything!".

You squated and hid your face between your palms as sobbed.

"And i'm just trying to defend myself." Brian said coldly.

Your eventually cried loudly as you heard the tone in his voice.

He was silent for a moment as your cries filled the apartment.

You felt Brian squatting down. He wrapped his arms around your body and hugged you before peeling your hands away from your face. Brian cupped your face and wiped your tears.

"I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to shout,". He whispered before leaning in for a kiss.

You quickly pushed him away and stumbled as you tried to stand up.

"No Younghyun, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of making a kiss as the solver. A kiss that makes everything back to normal. A kiss that makes me 'forget' what the problem is. The kiss will never solve the discomfort I'm feeling just like that. I, I need a break. A break from you."

You managed to say as you quickly took your coat that was hanging beside the front door. Brian tried to pull you back but you pushed him violently and left the house with a slamming door. You heard him crying out your name.

You hailed a cab and boarded it before Brian could chase you any further. You were grateful

the road was still busy despite the time.

You stayed at your bestfriend's house and told her everything. She understood your feelings and tried as much to comfort you and advise you. She was the best bestfriend you could have. You know she is a very wise person. She always have the best things to say. You felt blessed for having her in your life.

You were watching a movie with your bestfriend in her bedroom when you felt your phone vibrate for the nth time since the day you left him alone at home. But this time, it wasn't his name. It was your friend's name. Your friend who introduced you to Day6. Who introduced you to Brian. Who is in the band with Brian. Park Sungjin.

'Urm, mind telling me why the hell Younghyun is staying at our dorm for 3 days and being a mess?' - Sungbob

You sighed as you replied him.

'We had a small fight.' -me

You rolled your eyes when you read his next text.

'Yeah small fight my ass. Why is he singing his emo song from 8 years ago, crying to sleep and calling your name in his sleep?' -Sungbob

You showed your bestfriend the messages and she asked if you were feeling better and suggested you to check on your apartment since Brian wasn't staying there for the past 3 days. You hesitated but you knew her suggestion was the right thing to do. You also didn't want to bother her for a long time. You decided to stay for a bit more before getting ready to go back home.

She accompanied you back home, afraid that you were still unstable. You thanked her for welcoming you and for advising you. The two of you shared a hug before she went back.

You slowly unlocked the front door. You were relieved as the house was empty. He wasn't there. You went to your shared bedroom and shut your eyes immediately to calm yourself down.

The mirror on your wardrobe was smashed and there was a little bit of blood smeared around it. You massaged your temple. *what the hell was he thinking* You thought. You quickly cleaned the scattered glass and wiped the smashed mirror clean.

You contemplated but switched on the radio knowing he was guesting on your favourite station.

"So YoungK ssi, the first song that you're going to sing for us is a song from 8 years ago?". The DJ started.

Your heart clenched as you heard his voice. He had been trying to call you but you of course ignored him. After 3 days, you finally heard your favourite soothing voice.

"Ah yes, this song is very important to me. This song depicts how I would feel if I actually let go of someone I love. I hope people could relate to this song. It is called, Without You.".

Your tears flowed no matter how many times you had listened to the song. His voice, his emotions, your situation. You were still afraid. Afraid of losing him. You thought you would be happy when he came back. But the moment he stepped into the apartment, your ego got over you.

"Oh, you're finally back. I missed you so much. I'm really sorry. I will never leave you. I assume you listened to the radio just now and I promise you, the song was for you. My feelings for you. I can't live happily without you,". Brian started as he saw you sitting on the sofa. He sat in front of you all the way as he spoke.

You knew you weren't suppose to do it but you rolled your eyes and turned away from him.

"You sure it's not for your duet partner or the pretty trainee or any of the girls around you?".

You heard him sigh as he tried to hold your hands. You pulled your hands away and said strictly. "Don't touch me." . You quickly stood up and before going to your bedroom, you pointed to the kitchen and said coldly.

"I don't know if you already had dinner but if you're hungry, there's some leftover pizza from my lunch. I reheated it." .

He stayed outside as you stayed in the bedroom. As you were getting ready for bed, Brian finally entered the room. He slipped in the bed and turned his body towards you. He stretched his arms to hug you but you quickly sat up and pulled a pillow. You put the pillow in between the both of you. "Don't touch me.". You glared at him. You pulled the blanket over your body and turned away from him before he could say anything. You heard Brian sighed as he lied down on the bed slowly.

You woke up as the sunlight hit you. You tried to get up but strong arms were wrapped around you. The pillow in the centre was now at your feet. You wanted to push his arms away but he tightened his grip and pulled you closer. Your face was buried on his chest. "Don't touch me." You mumbled.

Brian chuckled and carressed your hair. He pecked the top of your head.

"Let me speak now, Baby. I sincerely apologise for raising my voice at you. I was tired and I know you were too. I was just hurt knowing that you were feeling that way. I would never leave you. I love you. After being away from you for only 3 days, I realised that was how you might feel when I was always coming home late. I'm so sorry. When you said you missed me, I thought of it lightly. I'm sorry for not making time for you. I'm sorry for letting you bottle up everything, not having me to let out your feeling to. I'm sorry for asking only when I realised that you had been crying. I'm so sorry. I love you baby. If I don't, would I have proposed to you? You know very well that I take my relationships seriously. I don't want you to hurt yourself by having bad thoughts. Thank you for always supporting me baby. Thank you.".

He tightened his hug when your body started shaking. He felt his shirt getting wet as your sobbings filled his ears. He carressed your back, comforting you. He sniffed as his eyes get teary. You felt his tears dropping on your shoulder. Your sobs got louder as you let out all your feelings.

"Young--Younghyun?". You stuttered.

He hummed, encouraging you to continue.

"I'm sorry for leaving you like that. I was hurt too that you shouted at me. I'm sorry for thinking bad about you. I was just jealous and insecure. I'm sorry for ignoring your calls and texts. I love you too.". You managed to breathe out before you started sobbing again.

Brian continued carressing your back. He pulled away from the hug to look at you. He wiped your tears before kissing your forehead. He cupped your face and leaned in. "I love you so much,". He whispered before capturing your lips with his.

He pulled away and pecked your nose before pulling you into a hug again.

"I will try my best to be better. I will hear out your feelings and try to come home earlier and spend time with you. You are my first priority and I should know that better. I will not kiss you just to 'solve' the problem. I will kiss you after making it up to you to show you that I really love you.".

You finally hugged him back and snuggled your face on the crook of his neck. "I missed you."

all pictures credits to the rightful owners.

#day6 #day6 fluff #day6 imagines #kpop fluff #kpop imagines #kpop #day6 brian #day6 angst #kpop angst #brian kang #jealousy #day 6 young k

75 notes · View notes