Cognitively, how does all of this fit in for Tiefer? So for instance, we know that he goes on to abuse Nathan’s son, but on late and lonely nights where there’s nothing else to do but think//or conversely upon getting too shit faced— is he able to take a step back and consider his actions? How does he align/categorize/feel about his own actions both in the past with Annamarie and his father as well as in the present about Jehan, but also himself?

Oh he is terribly capable of looking at what he’s done and considering it. He’s quite aware of it, even. 

He definitely has those “I literally became my sister oh god” come to Jesus moments but at the same time... his coping is often “well, she was right. They were all right. Everyone said I was a monster so I guess it’s time to be one -- I’ll be left regardless so fuck it, why not have fun! This was all I was ever meant to be.” Very “hath not a jew eyes” speech kinda fatalistic

For him, losing Nathan was the “well fuck it” kind of moment, of losing all hope and losing a major moral compass -- why be good when no matter what he does, he suffers? Why not maybe take for once? Why not get to be poweful? Why not be a monster -- who could blame him? Why not be a monster, a freak?

He definitely rationalizes his choices as it was bound to happen (and even a bit of “oh but pity me, I was hurt as a kid, take pity on me” even though its an utter fake ploy and he knows it -- he doesn’t want to be a victim.) He rationalizes and digs his heels into being a monster (and even at times tries to push Jehan away by being too cruel, too mean, especially if they’re getting on well, if they’re getting too like they were before the abuse, because doesn’t Jehan see he’s a monster, look at what he’s done -- and then of course, well, Jehan’s too scared too leave because Tiefer holds a leash made of sweet promises and dire threats and Tiefer gets to once again rationalize away his sins because oh well he’s not leaving maybe Jehan’s a little freak too, maybe Jehan wants this, Jehan wants this, Jehan wants me, Jehan wants me to hurt him, to love him, because he’s a freak too -- and freaks need to be hurt and shown their place...)

It’s hard to piece and puzzle because he’s a mass of contradictions (add to it -- there’s also nasty mean ghost!Tiefer who’s a lot more Jehan’s image of the cruelty, very warped and twisted) -- in that, he knows he is doing wrong. He feels bad he’s doing wrong. He genuinely loves Jehan. He never wanted to be his sister (and his sister is much more damaging for him than his dad -- his sister greatly weighs on him more than daddy dearest.) But also doesn’t he deserve something? And there’s Jehan -- Jehan who’s hesitant (just like Nathan), Jehan who tries to back out (just like Nathan), Jehan who says ‘no’ when Tiefer finally wants something (just like Nathan) -- why should he be rejected again? Why should he be left again? He’s been hurting so much -- surely, it’s someone else’s turn? Surely it’s Jehan’s turn? 

(I feel like I’m always talking about this haha but then again that’s either in long-buried asks or me probably screaming to friends over DMs so I never know when I’m repeating and when I’m totally retconning, ha! But Tiefer is a mess.)

Ok but like... what if in the gangbang something set off Tiefer and like, he had flashbacks or some shit to Anne's boyfriends doing horrible things to him, and he clams up and feels absolutely horrible afterward?

bold to assume the gangbang isn’t just as bad and isn’t just a bunch of other seminarians taking out their frustrations on him (because rumors travel and even if the priests are watching them like hawks for event a hint of disordered behavior Tiefer is always ready to play sob sorry – act apologetic for the rumors others tell about him because of his unfortunate circumstances growing up, perhaps even, depending on whose office he’s dragged into over concerning things overheard, admitting he’d struggled with disordered sexuality in the past because of how he was treated but he really could use a …firmer hand to set himself straight – and get himself out of trouble, even if it means getting on his knees) because he’s there, he’s available, and he can surely explain this indiscretion away too can’t he, he’s so good at using that tongue of his…

(then again oh Tiefer having a somewhat fun consensual time ruined – he and a few of the other seminarians in his year, the young ones and  the ones just like him or the ones at least inexperienced enough that they’re just encountering the possibility they may be like him, and a few of the older ones too, the ones that are very much like him, have those same desires but kept them down, have a night away from studies and someone comes from money and offers to have a small celebration among similar friends – perhaps it’s near winter if that even exists in New Orleans – and there’s more booze than there should be and Tiefer is relaxed and maybe says more than he should, maybe he mouths off a little because he’s Seen Some Things and gets a little snippy, a little challenging – playful, sure, but the bite’s still there all the same – says ‘oh what do you know ‘bout pleasing women?’ to the host who was making a rather inappropriate joke for a soon-to-be-priest and gets met with ‘oh what do you know about that?’ only to respond that he does know a lot and knows a lot about men too and maybe overshares, maybe mentions he knows a lot about having a lot all at once, it’s a blur really how they got there but things shift and alcohol makes for good ideas and, well, Tiefer isn’t entirely against being with young, decent looking guys, and it’s kind of fun but there’s bile rising in his throat and his chest is tight and if he weren’t on his back he feels like he’d definitely pass out which is a new feeling for sure…)

omg I finally had a chance to read pass the time and I'm so in love -- also Tiefer as service top

♥♥♥ thank you! ♥♥♥

TIEFER AS A SERVICE TOP THOUGH

(an extremely reluctant service top wrt his sister)

did you go see dumb clown movie or is that not your bag (i'm all for dark shit but the opening scenes were too much imo)

Yes. It needed way more child eating.

Honestly -- remember how they made a new Nightmare on Elm Street and had the guts to make Freddy a child predator in that way? I kinda wish It had gone kinda whole hog on the child predator (in that way) vibe because like... I kept getting that vibe but that might be because you know...it’s 2019. We’ve seen clowns and child killers who did more than kill. We’ve seen a lot of weird things happen and learned about even more weird things. So now while watching a creature preying on kids because they’re easiest to get like... It’s hard NOT to see that vibe and I’m like man y’all why not lean on it some? What, you can show extremely graphic and upsetting gaybashing but we can’t make the clown creepy in that way? Grow a paaaaaaair.

But hey, I strongly dislike kids and am not a kid and do not have a kid meanwhile I am a marginalized gender and sexual orientation in a relationship that is seen as Bad by default so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ One of those things is more upsetting to me than the other but YMMV (but also horror needs to grow a pair GOD I feel like the ONLY PERSON WITH BALLS AROUND HERE!)

(Also like -- if they leaned into the real horror implications that gd clown is almost dripping in, it could actually be, you know, scary? Because I don’t think I’m supposed to be cheering for the clown under the bleachers counting to 3 to eat the kid but the set up was almost...funny?)

I enjoyed the first one more just because honestly the child actors were way funny and stellar (seriously like props to them all) and obviously in the first one more but also I didn’t need to be emotionally gut punched with feelings about Growing Up at 2PM in the afternoon lol

Better than Scary Stories to Tell In The Dark though!

We've seen Annamommy in her Disneyland outfit, but will we get to see her baby brother desperately trying (and horribly failing) to free himself from the kiddie harness like one of those adults who never learned how to open childproof caps?

yoink

Hear me out. Tiefer’s daddy wakes up to Tief using his hand to get off. It’s okay because they do this all the time right?? It’s not wrong- but it sure as hell ain’t straight and Daddy isn’t so happy

(Hear me out: I love you.)

Émile would absolutely throw a fit -- sure, he’d come into his son’s room and passed out drunk after trying (and failing thanks to ol’ number 7) to get some tail but that didn’t mean he could be used like that!

(and Emilein wasn’t exactly upset about his dad sleeping in his bed -- he didn’t exactly appreciate getting woken up but he wasn’t really in the mood to get plowed so having his dad pass out at least afforded him a chance to sleep some more -- but waking up to him was another matter because, well, he was a teenage boy with a very teenage body and it was nice being flush up against a big warm male body and it’s not like his dad was unattractive and really he didn’t much count as a dad -- he sure didn’t act like it -- and it would definitely piss him off which would be icing on the cake as far as Emilein was concerned and, well, the old bastard did wake him up, the least he could do would be to give him a hand...)

Émile would probably yell at him, beat him, and, depending on his mood, hold him down (and choke and hit) and jerk him off hard until it absolutely hurt, all “oh but I thought you wanted this you little freak!”

What would Annamarie be like if she were in like,, idk?? A stable au?? A healthy au where everyone has their wits about them and are just everyday people? I’m really curious because we see the worst (and best at times) of them, so what would they be like if they were just idk?? Stable

Hm... I mean as nasty as she is she is an every day person. Every day people do awful things. 

I think she’d still be poor mother material, still be a bitter person, still want men’s attention, she’d just...handle her upsets better and channel her feelings and reactions away from destructive to constructive means? Maybe less self sabotage? 

Au where all your comics, every headcanon, every story is just Jehan and Tiefer playing out their rape fantasies and priest kinks. They’re actually two totally normal guys, Tiefer is a decent person and Jehan smiles at everything. They’re just super. Fuckin. Kinky.

I love it! AU where they’re both middle aged weirdos having wild sex (Tief’s older though and everyone thinks he’s even older with that hair of his.)

OK but the real question – the real question here, ok, is did Tiefer have a Traumatic Childhood™ with his sister or is that also a weird fetish they do I need to know for science….

anon confession: I call you Problem Daddy when I'm talking to friends, because you've given me so many OC ideas and problematic plot babies.

I love it. This is my new job title.

Okay but now Nate *has* to learn about who Tiefs wife is- maybe he even hears about it from Jehan? “She’s so pretty Daddy, she looks like an angel! Her hair is so shiny!” “Oh really?” “Yeah! She likes me a lot. Said to call her Auntie Anne!” “.... what’s her name “

Nathan’s poor brain: “hey you know what good for Emi, it’s a little weird he settled down with a woman considering he had 0 interest in them and constantly was trying to sleep with me and we did go down on each other a bit bUT HEY GOOD FOR HIM FOR SETTLING DOWN that’s great, I’m happy for him--wait, wHAT?!”

(forgetshowtodrawowncharacter dot jpeg)

okay but silver fox tiefer is also delicious???

he is which is why I’m very fond of afterlife au

like yeah yeah ja!l bait Emilein is great and all but man... silver fox, just a bit of power in his hands and a lot of room to abuse it, nasty and needs to be taken down a peg Father Tiefer is....................very delicious

Hhggg I absolutely love Annamarie and love the idea of her and Jehan and that twisted shit you were talking bout a while ago where basically jehan loves her and she uses that against everyone?? Do you have anymore headcanons abt that

Oh shit, nonners! I’d hafta go look it up -- partly because it could either be “Afterlife AU where Tiefer fam + Jehan (Because He Feels He Deserves Damnation Or He Suicides Or Whatever) and Annemarie turns him against Tiefer because she’s kind to him and desperate times calls for desperate love and Awfulness Ensues” or that absolutely delicious AU idea an anon provided of AU Where Annemarie Lived, Bitch, and she’s the one who gets her claws into Jehan because oh? Something baby brother has that she doesn’t? And that he likes? And projects emotions on? And that he’d maybe have designs on in a few years, when the kid’s in adolescence (because Annemarie knows her brother likes pretty things and her brother always did like Nathan and it doesn’t take a genius to see how that might go)? Well now she has to have it first...

I have so many thoughts about both or either or anything else in between because I absolutely love Miss Annemarie Tiefer, the perpetual child who never did bother to grow up, who wants a perfect doll to hold at night (and then some) and can never seem to play normal for long.

And I guarantee anything involving her and Jehan is a whole host of weird hurt-comfort and extreme emotional manipulation.

Do Tiefer have a preference of top/bottom (in general)? Would he ever let Jehan fuck him? What are his favorite positions/acts?

In his heart that boy is a bottom lmao

That said, much bigger preference as a top -- he likes control, he hates vulnerability, he likes having a semblance of power and while obviously the position you’re in while having sex doesn’t determine these things or convey these things (there are people who penetrate who are on their backs being ridden, yanno, like I don’t mean to make it interchangeable with dom or seme or anything, though TBH my BL background means seme makes way more sense lol) 

That said he does like getting choked out during...

As a teen? Nah, Jehan wouldn’t be allowed -- though Tiefer would definitely goad him sometimes, prodding at him to be a man and oh if he’s really upset then prove it, make him pay, rape that smug look of his face but any time Jehan would try he’d be immediately pinned because Tiefer’s not about to bottom for a brat. Now, ask me about Tiefer’s ghost and Jehan as a grown man and, well, that goading definitely is a lot more in the vein of “haha just kidding...unless?”

Getting choked, doggy, missionary, he definitely enjoys Jehan sitting on his lap and kissing him and grinding on him because he’s a perv

Hey. Hey daddy. An AU in which Nathan and Annemarie get married and Jehan is their child.

o snap

Annemarie isn’t much of an honest woman -- she marries Nathan because she gets knocked up by him (and he’s just shy of 18 when she says “I’m’ pregnant” and Tiefer’s just shy of 18 and livid) and, well, Nathan proposes because it’s the “right thing to do” and she’s not about to say no to support during her pregnancy so nine whole months she uses to work him like a dog and bleed him dry before she decides to hop town and leave him with a baby and nothing to his name, not even the house (she’d ‘sold’ it to her brother in an odd act of charity before getting hitched -- or perhaps in an effort to keep him tied there.)

And then there’s Nathan, baby in arms, in a house that was his wife’s and never was his with his best friend-cum-brother-in-law who owns the roof over his head and was never good at forgiveness...

Do you happen to have any more sketches or refs for Michael?

yup right here (won’t work on mobile app)

AU where Tiefer gets his shit together but instead of becoming a priest he becomes a professional dom/sadist

this is the AU he (we) deserves

i mean honestly if he hadn’t gotten out? he’d probably have wound up...well possibly in jail for what happened to his sister but if not that then hightailing it outta town and turning to sex work and odd jobs, relying a lot on looking even younger than he was for the former and on looking nonthreatening for some of the latter, as well as getting into gay kink nightlife so...yeah eventually he’d probably wind up there