Brother: Sounds like Sterling might be going through. I hope he’s joining as a ball boy for the women’s team.
Me:
Boehly: Emma, I got you a ball boy. His name's Raheem.
Emma: That's not a ball boy, that's Raheem Sterling, he's a wing--
Thomas: (whispers) Shhh, I finally got a signing.
Boehly: Raheem, I didn't know you could play a little.
Raheem: ...what.
Now my biggest hope is that at the first match of the season at Kingsmeadow, Boehly walks out as the mascot with Magda.
Brother: The PL is starting to do NFTs. I hope they do one of him as a mascot.
Me: Maybe he'll run out onto the pitch to try to take a selfie with a player and Sam Kerr will body check him.