When I was a kid, I went to an outdoor event where we were looking at constellations and stuff, and the person leading the workshop brought up Hercules. I, in all my eight year old confidence, informed the group that Hercules went crazy and killed his wife and children. This was a family event. The poor lady just kinda made a rictus face and said something about how it didn't sound like the Hercules she knew, but I was quite miffed that she was so obviously wrong and kept doubling down on it!!

Kids can be really morbid and precocious sometimes, which makes it way harder to keep them sounding like kids, especially if you were that precocious and morbid child. You can really easily end up with the "five year olds sounding like eleven year olds" problem— which is infuriating for readers and writers alike! I'm working on something from a child's POV, and it's a fucking nightmare a lot of the time.

I like what a previous anon said about behavior, though. What sticks out the most to me about that memory is the "BUT WHY IS SHE LYING" part, which is very "eight year old gets hung up on and frustrated by Adult Logic they don't understand, even and sometimes especially when the adult logic has a very good reason like trying to avoid traumatizing a bunch of kindergarteners".

(My social skills were far, far behind my knowledge of Greco-Roman mythology. XD)

I try to focus on behavior -> write it out -> simplify the vocabulary -> think about how my younger relatives sound -> simplify it again if necessary -> repeat as needed -> pray. This method has varying levels of success, but it's definitely been harder to write than anything I've written before because DAMMIT BOBBY WHY DO YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE 23 AGAIN WE JUST FIXED THE LAST PARAGRAPH ARGH.

--

TBH, when I bitch about fic sounding wrong (or mainstream media, which is often also guilty of this), I don't mean that the kids sound too precocious.

Stranger Things doesn't bother me at all. Sure, those actors sound more like dumb kids when they're not saying show dialogue, but the general slightly too precocious style of that writing feels like what a lot of nerds remember that age being like.

It's not long sentences with correct grammar and big words that make the difference. There's some intangible 'wrong age' vibe that's more than that. Also, it's often the other direction, like some kid who would be speaking in full sentences sounds like they're barely verbal.

Accidentally deleted my Tyrian and Watts asks while I was trying to fix a mistake so... Sorry about that, everyone! Here they are! Tyrian and Watts for the RWBY character asks!

Let’s do Tyrian first, because I have less to say about him, I feel like.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. Dysfunctional villainous romance of the century, no one knows how they’ve managed to make it to their tenth anniversary without killing each other, including them. Tyrian/Salem is my second top ship for him. Major Bellatrix/Voldy vibes with this one, but I could see it. Tyrian/Hazel is my third ship for lack of options. Does this one make sense? No. But I can at least see Tyrian being super flirty and Hazel being endlessly tired, but never really stopping it. (Also I hate Hazel so much lol.)

My three least favorite ships for the character

Tyrian/Qrow sucks for me. Like... I kinda feel like two people fighting each other just gets shippers, which is fine and totally understandable. But for me, Tyrian poisoning Qrow and almost killing him and calling his beloved niece a bitch and then killing Clover is a big no from me, dog. On that note! Tyrian/Clover is also one big no from me, since Clover murdered him. And Tyrian/Ozpin is another really big no from me. Tyrian and his crazy Salem worship can stay five hundred and fifty feet away from my son.

My biggest criticism for the character

They went a little too much on the crazy in the fourth and fifth season and it made him feel annoying. Like, I don’t mind the Bellatrix vibes, but I do mind the movie version Bellatrix vibes, sometimes. It just got kinda annoying. I wish his crazy was always more on the dangerous side and less on the kooky side, but that’s just personal opinions.

My favorite thing about the character

The way people are so uncomfortable around him. Whenever Tyrian talks to Emerald or Mercury, he’s honestly freaky. Like both me and the characters are waiting for him to snap. That’s a great quality in a villain that we’re meant to hate or love to hate. He has a real presence and it’s enjoyable.

A headcanon I have about them

Tyrian doesn’t often try to act normal, but he can, and he’s got a great ‘respectable, cool guy’ act that’s actually a little reminiscent of Qrow or Clover. He’s even passed himself as a Huntsman here and there.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

More involvement in volumes 4 and 5, and I’d treat him a bit more seriously and make him a bit more dangerous. Maybe I’d have him wound a member of Team RNJR in his attack as well as poison Qrow (maybe give Jaune a reason to unlock his semblance in season 4 and in response to the pain of a member of his team. Also, his ‘Tyrian purple’ color should be more than just the color of his eyes. Like, how come so many RWBY characters season 4 and onward have such boring colors? I’d give Tyrian some strong purple and pink.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Tyrian alludes to the animal fable ‘the Scorpion and the Frog,’ and that’s... really in name only, I think. A part of me wants to give them some kind of points for having Qrow work with him against Clover, only for Tyrian to kill Clover, which lines up with his ‘its just my nature’ scorpion stinging the frog so that they’ll both drown and die. But they didn’t mean for Qrow to really be wrong! They didn’t mean for the lesson to be ‘Qrow shouldn’t have trusted the poisonous villain’ it was ‘wowza does Qrow’s semblance hurt him. :( Too bad Clover got himself killed.’ Which makes the whole allusion kind of suck.

Now for Watts, the single best villain in my opinion.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. See above. This ship would be a dysfunctional mess, but it’d be a wild ride. Watts/Villain!Ironwood. I kind of hate this ship when it’s ‘fallen hero turned villain’ Ironwood. But if he actually had been written as a secret villain or obviously headed that way from the start, I can see him and Watts also being a dysfunctional mess of a wild ride ship, only with way more ‘evil power couple’ vibes than Tyrian and Watts would have. Also my favorite version of this features Watts having been the one to build Penny (maybe by stealing the plans from Pietro) and him and Ironwood raising a still bright and cheerful, still innocent and trusting, villain Penny who will attack to kill with a smile on her face and a ‘it was nice meeting you!’ And this is very weird and niche but Watts/Evil Stepsister (specifically the one with the sharp bangs and highlights.) Someone sent me an ask saying the Evil Stepmother and stepsisters should’ve been connected to Salem and gotten Cinder involved and I totally agree with this. I then started envisioning a world where the step sisters competed with Cinder and all three of them were raised in Salem’s circle. In this version of things, I could totally picture one of the step sisters having a romantic tension driven connection with Watts and the two of them subtly flirting sometimes (and bonding over their mutual hatred of Cinder.) I picked the sister with bangs for no real reason except that I like her look more.

My three least favorite ships for the character

Watts/Cinder. Watts thinks of her like a bratty little girl, and Cinder kills him. Watts/Lionheart. Kinda really hate this one because of how clearly Lionheart was terrified of him. Just a bit uncomfortable for me to see that in a relationship. Watts/Hero!Ironwood or Watts/HeroTurnedVillain/Ironwood. Sorry, but Ironwood in canon got such a bad, bad portrayal in season 8 and the end of season 7, and I just can’t help but blame Watts for quite a bit of it. I only like them as a ship if Ironwood is an antagonist from the start.

My biggest criticism for the character

They shouldn’t have killed him! He was one of Salem’s best followers and one of the best villains and it was such a big mistake to kill literally one of the only actual loyal followers. It threw off any character development for Cinder and it was a big mistake. I really wanted the Cinder / Watts / Neo team up to keep going! I’m so disappointed it got thrown away.

My favorite thing about the character

Watts is an entitled, petty bastard, and I think that’s so good for a villain that isn’t meant to be social commentary (because tbh, RWBY never should’ve tried to be social commentary.) Watts isn’t sympathetic, he’s an Atlas born and raised guy in a three piece suit, he’s posh, he’s upset because he wasn’t given exactly what he wanted. Most of the villains in RWBY are either victims of abuse, systemic oppression, or poverty, and that’s... Not fun in a show that’s never handled social commentary well and is about magical girls destroying Voldemort/Satan with the power of friendship (Ruby literally never says anything about Faunus rights iirc.) Watts is refreshing because he’s exactly the type of villain that you can expect in a show like what RWBY should’ve been, and he flourishes as that. Why would we be sympathetic to Watts when he’s just doing this all because he wasn’t picked first for his tech? Why would we feel soured towards conflicts with Watts and Team RWBY? He’s just a petty bastard being evil because he was snubbed. Why would we be frustrated that incredibly significant problems are being shoved to the side with Watts? He’s a fun villain, he’s not meant to be more, he’s not meant to make you emotionally invested only to then be gutted for it. You can hate to love him without it feeling bad. Maybe that’s why he’s just my favorite non-kid villain (other than Roman.)

A headcanon I have about them

Watts has been trying to build his own AI robot like Penny, in his spare time. He wanted it to be done in time to become a Maiden, but it wasn’t, and Salem gave that slot to Cinder and got after Watts for not contributing enough. He of course thought this was deeply unfair (especially after being made to contribute a lot to Cinder’s Beacon success without getting any credit for it.) And this just fueled his hatred of Cinder, his hatred of Pietro and Ironwood, and by extension, his hatred of Penny.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

I would keep him freaking alive and keep up the pair up he had going on with Cinder and Neo! But also I’d increase his relationships with Emerald, Mercury, Tyrian, Hazel... Just some more Salem’s Inner Circle moments to flesh out their characters. Other than that, I wouldn’t change much. He’s a pretty good character.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Okay, I’ve talked about his character allusion in a very long post awhile ago, but I’m not scrolling down that far to tag it. To sum it up... I hate his allusion. XD I loved the Sherlock Holmes books and read most of them, and I didn’t realize he was supposed to allude to John Watson until I read someone else’s post saying so, and I started freaking out about how awful it was. Watts has so little in common with Watson, he’s essentially the anti-Watson. Which basically means he’s Sherlock Holmes, the opposite of Watson in almost every way, up to and including freaking faking his death which is one of the most iconic Sherlock Holmes thing ever. Watts is everything Sherlock Holmes is on his worst days, arrogant, callous, consumed with his projects, petty, smug, over the top - as well as being hyper intelligent and a genius who often just gets passed over. He has rivalries with his colleagues like Holmes did. And like I said, he faked his death, only to reveal himself to an old friend later on the cusp of carrying out a scheme. He’s evil Holmes! He has nothing to do with John Watson - caring, humble, down to earth, not brilliant like his friend but content to be ordinary and special because of his emotional depth and devoted heart, medical former doctor who spends quite a lot of time chronicling the successes of someone else because he’s content to live in the background. Don’t get me wrong, a ‘Watson’ character who is evil could work - Watson himself indulged in crime for the sake of Holmes sometimes in the original works and if he worshipped Salem or one of her followers and did everything for her while still being a more humble, more friendly, not brilliant person he could be good - but Watts is not that person. Even the gimmicks Watts is given are stupid and don’t make it obvious he’s Watson. Boy’s got a moustache and a revolver and they thought that’d be enough. Idk why they thought 'we’ll make him Watson’ when he’s clearly a Holmes! Also, he’s supposed to be ‘Watson if he’d met Moriarty instead of Holmes,’ and to that I say boo! Watson wouldn’t turn into a super genius just because he meets a different mastermind!

...That’s summing up my feelings, yeah. Because I have so many feelings about his warped, weird character allusion. If I was changing it, I’d just make him Holmes like I think he was clearly supposed to be.

"If I die, I’m haunting you first." Logince, maybe?

I’m not sure if it will be anything like you imagined/wanted because I’m kinda new on this thing but let’s go xD

Content: Human!Sides, High-School!AU, slight reference to an Arch Enemy song? (I mean, if that’s important somehow. I’d make a MCR reference but hey… I don’t know that many MCR songs so let’s go for what I know lol)

TW: Cursing, B-word, S-word.

Lenght: 614 words (yeah pretty short)

Pairings: Logince, Platonic Prinxiety, “Implied” Moxiety

Read it on AO3

Read it on Wattpad

- Urgh, I can’t keep up with your stupid pinning, just go talk to him already!

- Are you CRAZY?? – Roman asked lowering his voice and getting closer to his best friend – Logan is simply impossible to get through! No one ever talks to him and he closes himself to everyone! There is just NO WAY I can talk to him, he’ll think I’m just another stupid jock trying to make fun of him! He won’t take me seriously.

Virgil angrily raised his left eyebrow to him.

- Roman Prince, are you kidding? You made me go through all that dramatic shit with Patton and now you’re all worried out because you can’t talk to Logan Yerkes? Look! – Virgil pointed to where the over-distracted nerd was – He’s right there, hair licked back, fixing his glasses like it’s going to fall any minute even though he just fixed that, taking another bite of toast with that jelly he always brings from home-

- Do you really need to narrate everything he’s doing? – Roman covered his blushing face wishing for the bell to ring earlier with no success.

- Yes, because you do that all the time on loop and because it makes you look more stupid than usual. Anyway OHHHHH would you look at thaaaaat, he’s reading that dramatic theater thing book that you like

- You mean, Hamlet?

- Yeah, this shit

- You know Hamlet! Why did you called it like that??

- I know exactly what I said. Anyway, this is the PERFECT time for you to go there and talk to him. Say that you enjoy it or whatever. Look, I’m the most anxious mess that you probably know, if I could do this I’m pretty sure that you also can.

- Easier said than done – Roman said burying his face on the table – And you had my help so I have half of the credit for you being able to talk with Patton.

Virgil then stared at Roman, looked back at Logan and gave his friend the meaniest smile he could give.

- Aaaalright, then! Gimme a sec – Virgil got up from the table and went to Logan’s direction, making the jock panic

- Wait! Virgil, what are you doing?? – he tried to grab the emo’s arm but it was too late.

- This is sweet revenge, Princey – the emo whispered making his way to Logan’s table and at this point Roman simply picked up his cellphone and tried to pretend there was anything happening.

Sometimes he lifted his eyes to peek on what was happening. He could see Virgil pointing at Logan’s book and his head nodding in response. After a few seconds he looked again and saw Virgil pointing at him instead so he lowered his head as fast as he could and never looked up again.

After what seemed to be an eternity, Virgil came back with is hands on the pocket of his hoodie, keeping up with his mean smile.

- And karma is a bitch – he whispered at the blushing mess.

- Virge, if I die you can bet all your My Chemical Romance CDs you’ll be the first one I’m haunting – he said, making Virgil chuckle

- He said you seem to be… Ahem… “Quite intriguing and nice to be with… And ahn… a little bit attractive too” – he said trying his best to impersonate Logan’s voice, even the way he cleared his throat at the end – He’d love to talk with you about Shakespeare, so go on.

Roman took a deep breath and looked at Logan, who was probably looking at him because he moved his head quickly to the books direction. Roman smiled at his friend, whispered a small “thank you” and made his way to his table.

Virgils very protective of his rats, when any of the others insult them he makes them apologise or almost step on them (roman will be like THAT WAS ONE TIME) he goes into momma/freak out mode Sorry if it's rubbish, I just got the image of Virgil protecting his pets xD

YES TO ALL OF THIS THANK YOU

-Roman’s the one that insults them the most. he’s kinda scared of them & thinks they’re repulsive little creatures. one time he let that opinion accidentally slip out while he & Virgil were sitting in the living room. Vernon was chilling on his shoulder & Angel was chilling on his lap while he looked at his phone. as soon as the words left Roman’s mouth Virgil’s head snapped up from his phone and he gave him a death glare. Roman looked guilty as Virgil said, “They’re not repulsive. They’re my precious, adorable babies.” Roman frowned and said, “I’m sorry, dear. I have a bit of an irrational fear of your precious babies. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’m happy you have them. Your anxiety has improved a bit since you got them, and well I’m thankful for anything that can do that.” Virgil smiled, put the rats back in their hutch, and gave Roman a huge hug. he then looks up at him and asks if he’ll apologize to them. “You can’t be serious?” Virgil walks him over to the hutch and says in the most serious, stern tone ever “I don’t joke around when it comes to them. Say you’re sorry.” Roman reluctantly apologizes to Vernon & Angel personally and earns another huge hug from Virgil.

-After that incident & the one where Roman almost stepped on one of them Roman still avoids them as much as he can. one day he seems particularly moody. Patton asks him what’s wrong and Virgil interjects with “He hates my babies.” as he’s putting said babies back into their hutch. Roman yells “That’s not true!” Virgil stares blankly at him and says “You literally told me you’re scared of them, and almost murdered Angel.” so Roman yells “THAT WAS ONE TIME AND IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!” Virgil just snickers and ignores him. Roman huffs in annoyance and continues to mope the rest of the day.

-One day Vernon doesn’t seem like himself. he’s barely eating & drinking, and not playing with Angel like he usually does and well Virgil freaks the fuck out. he cries hysterically and begs Patton to take him to the vet at the shelter he volunteers at. Patton takes him & Logan goes with to help keep Virgil calm. Virgil holds Vernon the whole time & has to be convinced to hand him over to the vet. he eventually reluctantly hands him over and clings to Logan. Logan holds him and keeps him calm by whispering positive rat facts to him. eventually the vet is done and tells Virgil he is acting how a grieving/depressed rat usually acts and asks if he’s recently lost another rat. Virgil is extremely confused and says “No.. His brother Angel is still alive..” the vet shifts uncomfortably as she says “Then Vernon may be sensing that Angel is sick or going to pass soon.” needless to say Logan has to bring Virgil out of the room and bring him out of his anxiety attack. Patton stays to ask the vet if there’s anything they can do. she tells him to bring Angel in tomorrow to see what she can do.

-When they get home Virgil immediately gets Angel out of the hutch and locks himself in their bedroom. he spends the rest of the day holding Vernon & Angel crying, and whispering “How could I not know you’re sick? Why didn’t I notice? I’m so sorry. Please be okay. Don’t leave us.” over and over. Patton tells Roman what’s going on when he gets home and Logan goes upstairs to try to get Virgil to come out. Roman immediately feels guilty for ever saying mean things about the rats. Patton comforts him & assures him that Virgil wouldn’t be upset with him.

-The next day they take Angel to the vet. the vet finds a tumor & tells them he’ll need surgery asap. once again Logan has to take Virgil out of the room as Patton talks to the vet.

-It takes some convincing but Virgil lets Patton take Angel to the shelter for his surgery while he stays home. Roman & Logan stay with him and try to keep his negative “what ifs” at bay. they curl up in bed with Virgil in the middle & Vernon chilling on his chest (it took a lot of convincing from Logan for Roman to be okay with that), and watch Virgil’s favorite movies while they wait.

-Eventually Patton comes back, and puts Angel in the hutch so he can rest. he heads upstairs and knocks on the door. Roman lets him in, and quietly asks him how it went (quietly cos Virgil fell asleep) Patton sits down at the end of the bed & smiles at Virgil then at Logan who was now holding Vernon. he tells them that the surgery was successful and that Angel is now resting. he also explains that Vernon will need to be kept separate from Angel while he heals, and shows them the little cage he brought home. Logan puts him in and sets the cage on their side table. Patton then heads to bed. Roman & Logan lay back down, wrap their arms around Virgil, and fall asleep.

-The next day Virgil wakes up with a jolt from his bad dream which wakes Roman up. Roman calms him down and tells him the good news. Virgil immediately runs downstairs to see Angel. Roman follows him and hugs him as he cries tears of relief & joy. Virgil speaks after a little while of silence, “Where’s Vernon?” , “In our room.” Virgil gives him an incredulous look and says, “You actually let him stay in there? Weren’t you creeped out?” Roman smiles and says, “I was a little, but I toughed it out. You needed him close to you.” Virgil smiles and cries some more into Roman’s chest.

-After all of this is over and Vernon & Angel return to their old happy selves Roman asks Virgil to help him overcome his fear. Virgil takes up a lot of Roman’s time telling him facts about rats, and how loving & intelligent they are. they eventually get to the point where Roman is able to hold them without freaking out. Virgil doesn’t say it but his huge smile and huge hugs show Roman how thankful he is.

((i didn’t mean to make this so sad & long my hand slipped oops?))