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@kbweek2020 day 7 →
kurt hummel & sebastian smythe moodboards
#kurtbastianedit#kurtbastian#glee#gleeedit#kbweek2020#kurt hummel#sebastian smythe#dalton academy#dalton academy warblers#moodboard#aesthetic#my edit
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Kurtbastian Week 2020 - “War of the Roses” (Rated M)
Summary: Kurt suspects that his husband may be cheating on him. But instead of taking the mature route of talking with him, he calls up a radio talk show that has a unique way of uncovering the truth. (2236 words)
Notes: Inspired by a talk show I used to listen to by the same name. Written for the @kbweek2020 Day 5 prompt 'angst', but not quite as angsty as you might imagine.
Read on AO3.
“War, War, War, War of the Roses!”
The pre-recorded announcement, surrounded by loud fanfare, blares through Kurt’s phone. He moves it away from his ear before the d.j. follows with: “It’s War of the Roses day on Magic 92.5! Hop on the website, send us a text, or call and leave us a message, and you, too, may be featured on War of the Roses! Today, we have Kurt on the line, ready to share the troubling story of him and his husband Sebastian. Kurt - thank you for joining us.”
“Th-thank you for having me,” Kurt replies, hating the way his voice sounds, the way it rattles around his dry throat. Hating what he’s doing. Hating that he gave the show their real names! What an imbecile he is! People he knows listen to this show! His boss Isabelle listens to this show! She must be listening now because he hears a beep over the line - a sign that another call is trying to wedge its way in. When he doesn’t answer it, it disconnects with a chunky bwap-bwap! A second later, messages start flooding his email, which he left open on the laptop in front of him. And not just from Isabelle. From Rachel, Mercedes, Santana, Brittany, Chase …
Kurt lifts a hand and closes the lid, shutting them out.
Oh boy.
He’s only been on the phone for 30 seconds and he’s already made a mess of things.
“Kurt,” the d.j. says, “why don’t you start by telling us why you contacted us? How can we help you?”
Kurt sighs. I contacted you because I’m stupid, he thinks. And insecure. And, frankly, I should hang up right now and put my phone in the freezer for safekeeping before I do anything else stupid. “I … I think my husband might be cheating on me.”
Canned ooo’ing follows his admission, and if he didn’t regret this decision before, he certainly regrets it now. He can’t stand the idea that they’re using this situation that’s been keeping him up at night as the punchline of a joke. But he can’t blame them. He did this. There are other ways to go about this that he should have considered first. Counseling. Private investigators. Honest and open communication with his spouse. But for some reason, when his husband got up early and left for work without waking Kurt for a goodbye kiss for the eighth day in a row, Kurt broke. If his marriage isn’t working, if they’re headed for Splitsville, Kurt needs to know today.
Now.
Sooner, if possible.
And that’s when he leaped for his cell phone and made this ill-advised call.
Kurt didn’t think there was anything wrong with his marriage. He thought they were happy – blissfully so. But for the past few days, things have gotten odd between them. Strained. And Kurt doesn’t know why. He needs to find out.
Lucky for him (depending on how you look at it), the radio program had a last-minute cancellation. The person who was scheduled to be on this morning decided to take matters into their own hands and run their unfaithful spouse over with a Cadillac.
A Cadillac that wasn’t theirs to begin with.
The station called him practically a second after he got off the phone with their answering machine.
“And why do you think your husband might be cheating on you?” the female co-host asks in a voice sympathetic from years of practice.
“Well … he’s been avoiding me.” Kurt winces at that weak excuse. To be fair, Sebastian’s firm recently landed a huge client - their first of this caliber in years. And since one of his partners is out on maternity leave, the job of wining and dining had fallen on Sebastian’s shoulders - a task he hasn’t performed in close to a decade; one he never liked much, especially after he and Kurt got married since it kept him away from home. “But on top of that,” he says, leaving that pertinent information out, “he’s been talking a lot about some guy named Martin.”
“Really?” the d.j. says, working hard to make this revelation sound like the scandal of the century since Kurt isn’t giving them much to work with. “And what has he been saying about Martin?”
“He’s been very complimentary about the job Martin has been doing down at the office.” Another wince. “A-and my husband isn’t normally the kind to hand out compliments. Plus, they’ve been working a lot of late nights - meetings, overtime, all last minute, that sort of thing.”
“Do you think Martin is doing something other than working that your husband might actually be complimenting him on?”
“Maybe,” Kurt says meekly, his heart going from ache to break. He hadn’t put those thoughts into words before today, hadn’t even texted them to his closest confidants now crowding his inbox. This is the first time he’s getting it off his chest … and he’s doing it to millions of people he doesn’t know.
He can hear Sebastian's voice in his head, laughing and saying, "Smart, Kurt. Very smart."
“Alright! Let’s get Sebastian on the phone and find out what’s going on once and for all!”
“Okay,” Kurt mumbles, covering the fact that the host's apparent enthusiasm to destroy Kurt's life put him on the verge of throwing up.
“What we’re going to do (for those of you who don’t know how this works) is offer Sebastian a dozen romantic roses to send free of charge to the person of his choice," the d.j. explains.
"Let’s hope he says Kurt,” his co-host adds.
“Yes,” Kurt says, and very unlike him, he begins to pray.
He prays Sebastian doesn’t answer the phone.
He prays Sebastian's secretary answers instead and tells them to send the roses to Kurt, Sebastian’s one true love. Kurt would accept that, hearing it second hand. That would be fine. Hearing it from Sebastian's secretary would be almost like hearing it from Sebastian. She’s a trustworthy soul, not inclined to cover for her boss.
He thinks.
Most of all, he prays that no matter who answers, no matter what happens, he’s wrong.
Ring-ring.
Ring-ring.
Ring-ring.
Click.
“Hello?”
Sebastian answers and Kurt’s stomach drops. In the time it takes Sebastian to complete that word, Kurt recalls the way most of these things end. Then his mind, which rarely seems to be on his side lately, conjures up how it might end for them.
This phone call and their entire marriage.
“Let’s get a name for the card, Sebastian. Who would you like us to send those roses to?”
“Let’s send them to Martin,” Kurt imagines his husband saying in a sly, seductive voice without pause.
“Martin? And what message would you like to go with it?”
“Make it out to Captain Flexible. And write ‘last night was incredible. Here’s to many more late nights in the future’.”
That nightmare spell shatters when Kurt hears the d.j. say his husband's name. “Sebastian?”
“Yes?” Sebastian answers, already sounding annoyed. No one who calls Sebastian’s office line ever calls him by his first name except family.
And Kurt.
“Hello! My name is Andrew, and I’ve just opened a new flower shop in Uptown called The Rose Knows.”
“Good for you,” Sebastian says dryly.
“We’re calling businesses in the Midtown area with our first promotion. We’re offering a free dozen romantic roses to send to the person of your choice. And all we ask in return is that you recommend our shop to your family, your friends, your co-workers …”
“You must have the wrong number. I don’t need anything for free. Put an ad in the Pennysaver like everyone else.”
"I'm not sure the Pennysaver's still in business."
"Not my problem."
Kurt bites his lower lip, grinning when he should be in tears, the nervous flip-flopping of his stomach, like pancakes on a griddle, causing his abs to cramp. But that’s his husband. His Sebastian.
So far, so good.
“Come on,” the d.j. presses. “We’re a small business, just starting out. Do a man a favor. Have some community spirit.”
Sebastian sighs like this is so beneath him. He stays quiet, and Kurt knows he’s debating between messing with this guy or hanging up on him. But Sebastian probably figures he’s not going to shake him until he gives in. Besides, Sebastian is nothing if not a networker. A flower shop would be of no use to him, but who knows? “Let’s see. Who in my life deserves free roses? My mom’s birthday is coming up, so maybe I could send them to her. Or my sister. She just had a baby.”
“Oh! Congrats!”
“A-ha,” Sebastian says, the amount of unimpressed in his tone staggering. “There’s Martin Lewis ...”
“Martin?” the d.j. repeats, stressing the name subtly to put emphasis on Kurt’s concerns.
He doesn’t need to. Kurt’s heart has already stopped.
“Yeah," Sebastian says, his voice going softer. "Roses would definitely brighten up his office.”
“And why does Martin deserve roses?”
“Not that it's any of your business, but he’s been busting his ass helping me put together a huge proposal. Plus, his wife's in the hospital. He could bring them over to her."
"O-oh ..." The d.j. slips. That's probably the last thing he expected to hear.
"Or you know what?” Sebastian's voice drops a register, a hint of wickedness lacing between. “I could send them to this guy I absolutely worship."
"Oh really?" The d.j. recovers, seeing things start to turn around. The hosts definitely root for a happy ending, but it's no surprise that angst makes their ratings soar.
The cringe-factor of someone confessing unaware to their infidelities.
Their listeners eat that up.
"Yup. The most amazing, sexiest man on the face of the planet. The man with the biggest heart of any human being I have ever met. The man I call the Energizer Bunny because he can go all. night. long. The man I hope to spend the rest of my life with.”
Kurt hiccups. His heart, a useless lump in his chest, lodges in his throat.
“And who would that---?” But before the d.j. can interject with their usual spiel, Sebastian continues.
“But I think he’s worth more than a bouquet I got for free from some lame-ass radio talk show. What do you think, Kurt?”
The line goes dead.
Kurt has been listening to this radio program religiously for close to seven years, and to his knowledge, this has never happened before - a caller called out by their s.o. But the d.j. is on it because he immediately plays an old school ‘wah-wah’ noise to show that Kurt has been caught.
“H-how did you know?” Kurt asks.
“Because I know you, Kurt,” Sebastian says. “I know the kinds of things you do when you panic, and you mostly panic when you feel like people you love are going to leave you.”
“Yeah?” Kurt sniffs, a tear rolling down his cheek. Adding to his list of things he hates, he hates that Sebastian knows him so well. “And what do I do?”
“You kind of go off the deep end.” Sebastian chuckles, lighthearted and anxious, reminiscent of the night he asked Kurt to be his for the first time. “And I understand why. I’m sorry I’ve been distant lately. And I’m sorry about the late hours. I’ve just been caught up at work. I swear that’s all. But Kurt … can we talk about this when I get home? So I can look at you, in your eyes, and tell you that there’s no way in heaven or earth I would ever cheat on you? It took me a long time to win you over. There’s nothing that could persuade me to give you up, not for anyone.”
More sound effects - an awww followed by applause - play in the background as the d.j. and his co-host attempt to maintain control of the show.
“So … you don’t hate me?” Kurt asks.
“For which offense? Doubting me, my loyalty, and my love for you? Or airing our dirty laundry on the radio?”
“Uh …” Kurt awkwardly clears his throat. “All of the above?”
Sebastian sighs again. He sounds exhausted, but also like he can’t wait to get home and give Kurt a good ribbing. “Yes, babe. I forgive you.”
“Thanks. And I’m sorry about all this.”
“Apology accepted. I mean, what’re a few tawdry secrets among friends? Strangers? The barista down at Starbucks? My clients?”
“When should I expect you home?” Kurt rushes to cut him off, feeling more like a heel than he had before. “I know you have another big meeting and …”
“I’ll be home in about an hour. Wait … make that an hour and ten. I’m going to stop by a real flower shop and get you some roses. I think you’re overdue.”
“Really?” Kurt says, so astounded, so touched, he doesn’t hear the cheesy music the d.j. has started playing in the background.
“Yes, really. And Kurt?”
“Yes?”
“Be naked when I get there,” Sebastian growls.
The music stops, skidding to a halt with the sound of a record scratching. “Guys … uh … you’re still on the air.”
“Sorry not sorry there, champ,” Sebastian says and hangs up the call.
So does Kurt, shoving his phone in the freezer before the station tries to call back for a recap.
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Kurtbastian Week Prompt 1 Different First Meeting
Title: Who Is It?
Time Frame: The First Time
Author’s: daftydraw, @jwmelmoth
Hi folks, so this is something slightly different to our usual style but honestly my mind is not into writing a whole fic at the moment - not even oneshots. BUT I wanted to produce SOMETHING for @kbweek2020.
So we came up with this instead. (Under a cut bc it is a bit long)
Hope you enjoy:
#kurtbastian#kurtbastian fic#kbweek2020#Kurt Hummel#sebastian smythe#prompt 1#dafty writes#daftymoth
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Kurtbastian Week 2020 - Day 1
The Last Time
Kurt is supposed to be the issue. He’s a priss, and a prude, and a problem for the Warblers that Sebastian will someday solve. Sebastian hasn’t paid him any more thought than that but now, watching Kurt shut down, he’s forced to.
Sebastian has a plan. He has the information he’s picked up from the others, and the handful of interactions he’s shared with them. None of this is part of it.
Neither of them noticed him leaving the club or listening in, and now he knows far too much about a moment he shouldn’t have witnessed.
[For KBWeek 2020 - Fix-It]
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A photoset for Day 3 of @kbweek2020 [Dalton].
The Day 2 fic is still coming. I just wanted to mix things up.
(Also, I put Bas’s name up to just to make it clear that the “screenshots” are from Kurt’s phone.)
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If the Spit Hits the Fan (Glee) pt XIV
Follows pt I, pt II, pt III, pt IV, pt V, part VI, pt VII, part VIII, part IX, part X, part XI, part XII and part XIII.
Posting this for day 3 (Dalton) of @kbweek2020, for reasons.
Benjamin Harris asks Kurt to call him Ben during their first meeting, and pencils him in for two sessions per week “for now”. Kurt doesn't know whether to be grateful that he's at a school where his mental health is considered so important or horrified that he's seen as needing that much help.
When he brings it up with Sebastian the answer is “grateful” and Kurt's pretty sure that it's the right one. It's just such a glaring difference from McKinley where the closest he'd gotten to an adult caring about his anything (in a positive way that was) was poor Miss Pillsbury.
And that's, that's just sad.
So he agrees to go to Ben's office every Monday and Wednesday, and he tries to talk, only he finds he's still skittish and wary.
Ben's good though, and finds a way around Kurt's defenses by suggesting that they bring in Finn for a few shared sessions, “to heal old wounds”. It's a good solution as that's something about being back at Dalton, and about boarding again, that Kurt isn't entirely pleased about. Not living at home means it's hard to be there for Finn (and to not having Finn be there for him). Sebastian is a good friend, but Finn's his brother. Kurt worries, okay?
Ben being sneaky and getting permission to have Finn come over for the first two weeks is an excellent solution.
(The only one who doesn't realize that half the reason is so Finn can get the help he needs but McKinley won't provide is Finn himself.)
Once Kurt begins to trust Ben – once he's seen that it's justified – talking gets easier. Telling him about everything that's lead to Kurt transferring to Dalton not just once but twice in a year in painful but also healing. Even if he sometimes hides from everyone afterwards just to deal with the sheer hurt of how little help he's ever been offered outside of his home and his dad's garage, and how much he could have thrived if he'd gotten this earlier.
The worst part is talking about Blaine.
Except, he has to, and maybe that's even worse.
So he makes an appointment late on a Friday, arranges for Finn to come pick him up, and then walks in with his back straight and his emotions tucked away as deep as possible.
He tells the whole story of him and Blaine, from that first meeting on the staircase all the way to the police station, with as little detail and emotion as he can get away with. He winces, once, because Ben shifts a little during the part about Scandals, and right, he worked here last year. It's possible, Kurt thinks, that not that long ago it was Blaine sitting in this very chair telling Ben about his circumstances.
When Kurt reaches the end he falls silent. He's a little hoarse, from talking so long, and he feels empty.
Ben's quiet too, at first. He sits there, then gets up to fetch Kurt a bottle of water and waits for him to drink some of it.
“That's...that's a lot you just told me, Kurt. And judging from what I've learned about you I'm guessing this is the first time you've talked about all of it like this?”
True. Kurt's talked, yes, with Finn and Sebastian and even his dad. Before Blaine's disappearance he'd talked to Rachel and Mercedes. But not like this. Not without hiding things, or editing them out. Not with honesty.
“All of this, everything that's happened with Blaine... How does it make you feel?”
“Angry. Pathetic. Weak. Stupid. So, so stupid.”
“Why stupid?”
“Because I trusted him. I've got trust issues from here to forever, and I just trusted him. All I had to go on was that Blaine was cute, and charismatic when performing, that he was willing to listen and seemed sympathetic, and that he was gay just like me. That he'd been bullied, like me. Or so he said.
“And I just took him at his word. Trusted him like a damned sheep. Without a single shred of evidence that he was worth it. I told him things I hadn't even thought about telling my dad – who was worth my trust – and things I didn't have the right to tell him, and for what? So things could get even worse?”
Ben takes a moment again, before asking his next question.
“Do you feel now that Blaine didn't deserve that trust? Not just in the end, but throughout your relationship, I mean.”
Kurt laughs, short and harsh and joyless.
“You know, I dream about it. Not, not about that night – or I do too, but those are, that's not dreams, that's... Anyway, no.
“I dream that it's an ordinary day, and I'm driving over to Blaine's house to surprise him for some reason. I don't know why, since Blaine specifically told me I was never to show up there without warning, and I respected that.”
He'd added two and two and come up with “Mr Anderson is a homophobic prick”, which may or may not be true, and also may or may not be the actual reason.
“Anyway. I drive over there, and I ring the doorbell, and when Mrs Anderson opens the door I ask for Blaine. Only she tells me there's no Blaine living there, there never was. And when I push her on it, she tells me that a boy paid them to pretend to be his family, but she doesn't know why, or where he really lives.”
Kurt swallows.
“And then I wake up, and I can't help but wonder, if I were to do my research, would I find an Anderson family at West Elm Street? And if I did, would the faces match the people I've met?”
“What do you mean?”
“Blaine and I dated for six months, and were friends for another six months before that. And somehow I never got to know his family. I haven't even seen a photo of Blaine's older brother. I've only ever met Mrs Anderson three times, and Mr Anderson twice. If it wasn't for the fact that they were at the police station, specifically as Blaine's parents – which, by the way, is one of those times – I don't know if I'd believe that's who they are. Hell, at my darkest moments I still question it.”
“Do you really believe he would fake something like that?”
Ben's voice doesn't hold mocking, or disbelief, just worry.
“No. Not really. As I said, they went to the police as Blaine's parents. That's not something you risk if it's fake. Besides, Lima's too small to pull something like that off.
“It's more that I find that I was such an unimportant piece of Blaine's life puzzle that I can't even trust something like that.”
They both sit quiet for a while. After all, what is there even to say about thoughts like those?
When Kurt returns to Dalton on Sunday evening Sebastian is leaning against his door, dangling a thermos-flask from one hand. It's both a welcome sight and not, seeing as Kurt had let slip about the nightmares during a check-in the day before. But. It's coffee, and it's Sebastian.
He's halfway through his cup before Sebastian grabs the bull by the horn.
“Do you want to talk about the nightmares?”
No, he most certainly does not. Not those anyway. Still...
“The ones about that night, no. But there are others. Sometimes I have nightmares where I come to school and instead of Blaine being gone, instead of me being called into Miss Pillsbury's office the next day to be met with the news that Blaine's gone... I go to my locker and he's there. And I forgive him. I just...ignore that he tried to rape me, and I forgive him. Even worse, I take the blame.
“And then I wake up shaking, knowing that I could so easily have done just that.”
“Kurt...” His name falls from Sebastian's lips with almost no sound, and it's so clear that the other boy wants to protest.
“No, I really could have. Right from the beginning everyone was so happy to let me know I was lucky to find Blaine, and some made it clear that they didn't think I'd ever be able to do better. Hell, my own experience made me believe that. So why would I have let him walk away? If he was the best I could get, then it was forgive him or spend my life alone.
“Talking to Ben has made me realize exactly how unhealthy that kind of thinking is, and how me folding about something like that would have impacted our entire relationship. He would always have known he could get away with just about anything, and I would never be able to stand up for myself because of the fear of being alone.”
Kurt shudders. Had those dreams been reality then he would never have felt safe denying Blaine sex again. He'd never have felt safe denying Blaine anything. You want that role I need? Of course. You want to move across the country? I'll start packing. You want me to quit my job and be a househusband? Yes dear.
He'd have become a doormat, and he'd have told everyone it was what he wanted while believing it was all he deserved.
Blaine leaving had hurt like hell, but Kurt's beginning to believe it had been a blessing.
“I think I might have dodged a bullet there.”
Sebastian scoffs.
“No shit. That's not a bullet though, that's ammunition for a small war.”
Kurt acknowledges the point. It's a bit of an overstatement, he thinks, but then again he went the other direction.
“Either way, he's out of my life, and he's not getting back in. That's a good thing. The same will be true about the nightmares, sooner or later. No, this isn't me pretending things are fine when they're not, this is me honestly believing it'll be fine. Talking to Ben helps.
“Having you helps.”
He watches amused as Sebastian blushes softly at the compliment while trying to play cocky. He likes it when Sebastian's facade breaks down. In fact, he might just have made it his mission to make it happen as often as possible.
“So, do you have any plans for the rest of the evening? Lacrosse equipment to clean? Lingering homework? No? What about that essay for Mme Lacroix?”
The panic in Sebastian's face as he jumps up is delicious.
“What essay? When did she– Oh, I see. Not funny, Hummel.”
“From where I'm sitting? Definitely funny, Smythe. But if there's nothing else you need to do, would you like to watch a movie with me? I've got some chocolate I don't mind sharing, and I'll even let you pick the movie.”
Sebastian looks at him suspiciously, searching for the next joke. Then he apparently decides that Kurt is serious.
“I could do that. Careful though, that almost sounded like you asking for a date.”
“Who said I wasn't?” Total deer in headlights look. “Would it be so bad? I like you. I think we are good together. I believe we could be even better. I trust you. Giving this, giving us, a chance feels smart. It feels right.”
Sebastian keeps staring at him, and Kurt feels himself begin to fidget a little, suddenly uncomfortable. Did he read the situation wrong? Then, finally, Sebastian speaks, voice a little raspy.
“Oh god. I thought you... Can I kiss you?”
There's a desperation in the words, but Kurt can't fault him for it. He feels it too. So he nods, and takes a step towards Sebastian. He's expecting... Well, he doesn't know what he's expecting. More of the desperation maybe? Expertise? Seduction? He definitely wasn't expecting careful softness, and constant checks for consent, but that's what he gets.
Then again, maybe that's exactly what he should have expected from Sebastian, who's been with him the whole way, who knows everything, and has shown himself to care in a way Kurt's not entirely used to to.
It's a Sebastian without masks and attitudes, meeting a Kurt without the same, and it's everything he could have wished for.
He's got no memory of what movie they finally play.
#chocoholic fics#kurt fic#kurt hummel#a wild sebastian appears#sebastian smythe#in 2020 we finish our wips#kbweek2020
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The prompts for Kurtbastian week!
Throw in your art- be it fic, fanart, gifs, playlists, etc, and this blog will boost it! Publish the work with the corresponding prompt. You can pick one or both for the day, you can do every day or just one, or you can be one of our lovely rebloggers sharing the love.
At later dates, we’ll publish examples for all of the prompts, single and combined.
For updates, info, and art boosting, follow this blog!
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Unexpectedly Auspicious
Kurtbastian Week 2020 - Day One - Fix it (”The First Time” ends differently)
Kurt got back out of the driver's seat and rushed back into Scandals and found Sebastian as quickly as possible.
"Come with me now. I need you to help me." Kurt grabbed him by the upper arm, pulled him out into the parking lot and pushed him towards Blaine's car. "Get in and drive."
Sebastian looked confused, but took the keys and started the car. "Where's Blaine?"
"That's why you're driving. I don't know. He walked off too drunk to be alone and claimed that he was going to walk home. He lives like 10 miles from here. We have to find him." Kurt pulled up his Find My Friends app and clicked on Blaine's name.
"Why did he walk off?"
"Not the issue at hand. Turn right. Slow down. Up there, on Maple - turn left. He's down a few more blocks. Right on Clark. Be careful – he could be in the street."
Sebastian drove slowly, but Blaine wasn't anywhere to be seen.
"Pull over and park, but leave the lights on. He's got to be close by."
While walking around the area, Sebastian and Kurt both started calling for him. "Blaine?"
Sebastian could hear a faint voice, "Opening myself up. I needed to open myself up."
"Kurt!" Sebastian called out. "I found him, but he's sitting down in this driveway. Come help me get him up and into the car."
Kurt ran over to where he could hear Sebastian's voice calling from. "Blaine, come on, help us out here. Try to stand up."
"He's out of it. He keeps mumbling something about 'opening himself up'. What does that mean?"
"I don't know. We're just going to have to carry him. Grab him under his arms. I'll grab his legs." They managed to carry Blaine over to the car. "Let's sit him down so we can get the back door open. Go around to the other side and climb in. I'm going to lift him up into the seat and you can pull him in while I lift from this side."
Sebastian followed Kurt's directions and they managed to get Blaine into the backseat.
"I just need to do this for Tony," Blaine said.
Read on AO3.
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KBWeek2020 Submission!!!! We got ‘er done! @kbweek2020
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Where Do I Sign Up?
Kurt sat in the small mom and pop coffee shop that had become his favorite since moving to the neighborhood a year ago. He was in the middle of his first year of teaching theater at Lexington School For The Deaf in New York City, and he had become reliant on his favorite cup of joe to get him through both the school day, as well as the hours of prep and planning that teaching required.
He was in the middle of nursing his last cup, while putting the final touches on next week's lesson plans, when he noticed him... A handsome man signing to someone across from him that Kurt could not see. He tried to ignore him. He didn’t want to eavesdrop on his side of the conversation, and that’s basically what he was doing if he continued to watch. But this man was hard to ignore. Not only was he handsome, but he was so animated while signing, that it became downright entertaining.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27486082
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KURTBASTIAN WEEK DAY 2: Canon Compliant
kurt and sebastian meet, and it's hate on first sight. both of them are intent on having and keeping blaine, and when it's clear kurt is the winner, they express their feelings the only way glee clubs know how - through song. it isn't until they're singing the ending strains of every breath you take and staring into each other's eyes that they think, oh - they may have been eyeing the wrong target all this time.
#kurtbastian#kurtbastianedit#glee#gleeedit#kbweek2020#kurt hummel#sebastian smythe#kurtbastian au#sebkurt#my edit
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Kurtbastian one-shot “Surprise Guest Stars” (Rated PG13)
Summary: Chaos ensues when some uninvited performers show up to Thomas's Christmas pageant ... (2221 words)
Notes: Blaine friendly. Assume this happens in a world that hasn’t met Covid yet. A re-write for @kbweek2020 Day 4 prompt Parents.
Part 60 of Daddies.
Read on AO3.
“You tell him!” Sebastian whispers.
“No, you tell him!” Blaine whispers back fervently - a huge fail if he was trying to keep Kurt from hearing him. For a man who’s been working in theater professionally since college, how could Blaine forget that Kurt would be able to hear him from every corner of the stage? Rule number one of working backstage - no shushing and no whispering.
“Why me?” Sebastian asks.
“Because you’re his husband! You have a child together! If I tell him, detectives will never find my body! He won’t hurt you!”
“Yeah, right. Wanna bet?”
“Sure. Can you break a hundred?”
“For God’s sake!” Kurt snaps, too overwhelmed this close to curtain to handle anything that might go hand-in-hand with those two and their whisper fighting. “Would one of you just tell me what the heck is going on? What are you arguing about?”
Sebastian looks at Blaine, waiting for him to give Kurt the explanation he’s demanding while Sebastian searches for a place to hide. He’s out of luck when Blaine catches him off guard with a huge shove towards center stage right in the path of the steely-eyed man walking aggressively toward them, the thick heels of Kurt's Jimmy Choo loafers pounding against the wood floorboards marking down the remaining seconds of their lives.
Blaine may have made his living on the stage, but Kurt takes theater much more seriously than he ever has.
“We might have a problem,” Sebastian says.
“What? What problem!? It’s fifteen minutes to showtime! Don’t talk to me about problems!”
“O … okay ...” Sebastian smiles sheepishly, splaying his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Let’s call it a hiccup then.”
“A hiccup is a safety-gated synonym for problem, and I refuse to accept that there are any problems.”
“And yet, we still have one.”
Kurt sighs, throwing a hand to his forehead to shield his already blooming headache from whatever stupidity this is, and ends up smacking himself with his clipboard. “Fine!” he groans, rubbing the sore spot. “What is it!?”
“Look up there.” Sebastian reaches out to take his husband’s shoulder and redirect his attention. But after considering the possibility of getting his hand bitten off - a hand that will become most important if Kurt decides to never sleep with him again after this - he motions with his chin instead.
“Up where?”
“Up … up there. In the Christmas tree.”
“What? Is Mrs. Popson complaining that the ornaments are unbalanced again? Are we going to have to re-Feng Shui the lights to better complement her third graders’ angel piglets?” Kurt allows himself a snicker as he follows Sebastian’s instructions and gazes up. Eight dozen ridiculous things have happened so far, and their little pageant has yet to even open. That’s probably all this is - something ridiculous. A minor inconvenience blown way out of proportion.
At least, that’s what it had better be.
But as he peers through the branches of their picturesque twelve-foot Fraser fir, he realizes no. This isn’t a little thing. It’s a rather large thing. So large, he wonders how come he didn’t notice it before now.
“Oh … shit,” he mutters.
“It's Blaine's fault. I didn't see it until he pointed it out,” Sebastian says, passing the blame off on an offended Blaine and leaping quickly aside in case this revelation has consequences.
“This,” Kurt hisses, jabbing a finger upward, "is why I told you I wanted an artificial tree for the Christmas pageant! Where did we get this thing anyway?”
“It was donated by Father Bruno at St. Adalbert’s Parish to show support for the school's LGBTQ+ inclusive program. He went out to the woods and cut it down himself!”
“Right!” Kurt folds his arms over his chest. “He probably planned this! Did it on purpose to sabotage our pageant! You can’t trust the Catholics! Don’t I always say that!?”
Sebastian looks at Blaine, and a confused Blaine looks back, each wondering if this is some inside remark directed at the other.
“No!” Sebastian pulls a face. “I have never heard you say that!”
“Well, you can’t,” Kurt sniffs. “And whether I said it or not, it’s generally implied.”
“I don’t think the man did this on purpose,” Blaine says, but does so in that soothing tone he used so often on Kurt in high school. A bad decision, Blaine realizes, the moment Kurt's head pivots his way, and he sees everything from Kurt’s neck to his scalp turn a bright, crayon red.
“Really!? Then let me ask you this - during the time it took the good father to cut this tree down and drag it over here, he never once noticed there was not one, not two, but three nests inside!?”
“I guess not! But neither did y---we,” Sebastian corrects, his life flashing before his eyes when he comes close to implying his husband is at fault. “We got the tree last minute. I guess they slipped through the cracks.”
“Obviously.” Kurt closes his eyes and drops his head, searching for an answer in the dark behind his lids.
Five minutes.
By now, they only have five minutes. He hears the children lining up with their teachers backstage while he and his husband argue. But they need to stop arguing and come up with a solution.
Fast!
He takes a deep breath in and exhales out, the inklings of a plan forming in his head.
“It’s okay,” he says, reassuring himself more than anyone, the headache simmering behind his eyes threatening to become a full-blown migraine. “It’s going to be okay. They haven’t let the parents in yet. They’re still in line outside. We can fix this. We can still fix this. We can move them, right? Just … shimmy up there and get them down?”
Blaine and Sebastian shoot each other anxious looks. This time, Blaine starts, choosing to jump on the grenade for Sebastian. “Uh … no. We can’t.”
“Yes, we can,” Kurt counters, over-enunciating consonants through teeth clenched so hard they’re about to pop from his skull. “Figure out a way to skitter up there and pluck them out. It can’t be too difficult.”
“I’m sorry, Kurt …”
“Or come at them from above. You can reach down from the catwalk. That might work out better seeing as they’re so high up.”
“No, Kurt …”
“We’re not going to hurt them,” Kurt interjects as if that might be the big hold up. “We’re going to relocate them.”
“Kurt …”
“There’s a cat carrier in the fifth-grade room,” Kurt continues desperately, unsure why it is this can’t be done, why Blaine can't say, "Brilliant, Kurt! I'll get right on that!" He’s seen people do it before. The Crocodile Hunter (God rest his soul) rescued birds left and right. That nice Officer Kevin from the SPCA who rescued the deranged pigeon from his father's auto body shop. And wasn’t there a famous Vine where some guy got an owl out of his kitchen using a broom? It can’t be that difficult. “We’ll toss them in there for the time being and then …”
“Kurt!” Blaine cuts in, raising his voice a tad higher than advisable considering the situation. “We can’t move them!”
Kurt's glare nearly takes the top of Blaine's head clean off. “And why can’t we?”
“Because those aren’t just any birds.” The three men look up at the exact moment nine fluffy faces peek over the edges of their nests and look down, probably wondering what all the commotion below is about. “Those are loggerhead shrikes.”
Kurt and Sebastian both look at their friend with confusion on their faces.
“How do you know that?” Sebastian asks.
Kurt puts a hand on his husband’s shoulder and shakes his head. “That question is going to require a longer answer than we have time for. Plus, there are children in the building. Just accept that Blaine has a thing about birds.”
"PG? Or R?" Sebastian asks, needing clarification regardless.
"Try X," Kurt says in a lowered voice.
Sebastian looks at a blushing Blaine with wide, disgusted, but somewhat amused eyes.
"Continue," Kurt says, "from the part where you tell us why these birds are about to ruin our pageant.”
“Loggerhead shrikes are threatened. That means they’re protected. We can’t move them ourselves. We might not be able to move them at all without taking the tree with them.”
Kurt’s eyes bug. “We can’t … we can’t … the tree!? Oh great! This keeps getting better and better!”
“Relax.” Sebastian takes the risk and puts a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. He tries to massage it, but it’s hard as a rock. “It’s okay. We can still sort this out.”
“And how do you suggest we do that!? Huh!? Our Christmas pageant, which your son is starring in by the way, and is supposed to start in …” Kurt spins around in search of a clock. When he can’t see the one on the far wall, ironically because of the tree, he fishes his cell phone out of his pocket and checks the screen. His eyes bug out farther “… two minutes! has been hijacked by birds!”
“Look, Kurt, they’ve been chill so far. Maybe we can have the pageant with them there and move them after. Problem solved.”
“Yeah,” Kurt agrees optimistically, trying to force his heart to slow down, seeing how, with no time to spare, this could be a feasible option. “You're right! We’ll let them stay! Problem solved! I mean, what’re a few birds? It doesn’t look like they can even fly yet. And they’re cute! They’ll add realism. They won’t be any trouble.”
“Not exactly,” Blaine says, and Kurt has never wanted to punch him in the face so hard in his life. Wait … come to think about it, there may have been one or two other times. “There may be a whole other bigger problem.”
“And that is?”
“Those are babies. Juveniles, specifically. I don’t see any moms. Or dads for that matter.”
“I know I’m going to regret asking this,” Kurt moans, resigned to whatever fate Blaine’s knowledge is about to bestow upon them, “but … that’s a problem why?”
“Because loggerhead shrikes are protective. Being separated from their chicks, the parents will get aggressive. Also, if the babies don’t know where their parents are and they get nervous …” A series of jarring screeches interrupt Blaine’s explanation. Kurt glares up at the birds, mouths open wide, cawing loudly into the air. Blaine points up. “They’ll do that.”
“Great!” Kurt yelps, at the end of his rope. “So we have potentially agro birds loose in the theater, baby birds that spontaneously scream bloody murder, and a play set to start in half-a-minute, which we may have to postpone indefinitely in case we need to call animal control - do I have that right?”
“Basically, yes.”
“Well, skippidy do! Is there anything else!? Anything at all you’ve forgotten to tell me!? Because what else could possibly go wrong!?”
The doors at the back of the auditorium fly open, and Kurt blanches, knowing that right then and there, his question is about to be answered.
“Kurt! Sebastian!” the assistant principal yells, looking a little too much like Tippi Hedren in The Birds for anything good to come from her sudden appearance. “Come quick! It’s an emergency!”
“What? What, what, what is it now!?” Kurt asks, sounding less than sympathetic.
“Insane birds are dive-bombing parents in line outside! Three people have already been pecked! Everyone is scattering!”
With the auditorium doors thrown open, Kurt can hear the panicked yells of parents banging on the steel doors outside, begging to be let in. Above that, the shrieking of the birds searching for their babies echo through the halls, their screams so high-pitched and piercing, they make their way through the thick stone walls and double-layered storm windows. Hearing their parents’ cries, the baby birds respond, frantically flapping their wings in an effort to take flight themselves and reach them.
Bitterly Kurt thinks all of his problems might be solved if they give it a go, plummet to the ground, and break their little birdie necks.
How un-festive of him.
Sebastian looks at his done-in husband. “Do you want me to go outside and handle this one alone?”
“No.” Kurt straightens his back, squares his shoulders, hands his clipboard over to Blaine, and makes for the stairs to the stage, head held high like a gladiator going off to fight an unwinnable war. “I’ll go. Blaine? Tell the teachers … there’s been a bit of a delay.”
“Will do,” Blaine says, leaving the stage with a solemn salute and a sigh of relief.
“And Sebastian?”
“Yes?” Sebastian says, falling in behind his husband, unwilling to let him walk off into the bird battle alone.
“Do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“The next time I ask what could possibly go wrong - gag me.”
“Absolutely.” Sebastian smirks, preparing to die on the hill of bringing a smile back to his husband’s face. “Just so I can plan appropriately … will you be asking that anytime tonight, perchance? Because I can get a babysitter and rent a room in about five seconds.”
“Great,” Kurt replies humorlessly. “Do that. Let’s pray I’ll have enough blood left in my body to enjoy it.”
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Asking For a Friend (kurtbastian)
for @kbweek2020 day 3
Prompt: Dalton | Hurt/Comfort
Title: Asking For a Friend
Authors: @jwmelmoth and daftydraw
Summary: In a Dalton AU where Kurt and Sebastian are (reluctant) roommates, Kurt gets some bad news. Sebastian tries to comfort him in his uniquely unhelpful way.
AN: A day late because yesterday was a shit show in the offline world, but we really liked this prompt and wanted to fill it. We hope you like it.
Read on AO3
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Kurtbastian Week - Day 4
Kurt blinks at the picture of himself, dressed in a pretty nice ensemble which is, unfortunately, paired with the world’s worst hat. Seriously, it looks like he melted down a raccoon and molded it around his forehead-- but that’s not his primary concern.
That concern would be why, exactly, Sebastian’s that far down his consistently active Instagram page.
[For KBWeek 2020 - Social Media]
Read here on AO3!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27512041
#Kurtbastian#Kurtbastian Week#kbweek2020#THERE'S NO ANGST THIS TIME#LEGIT NONE#AND THEY'RE ESTABLISHED#Call that personal growth on my part
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I Get By...
Written for @kbweek2020 (Day 1: Fix-It) [It’s more like pre-Kurtbastian, but still.]
Summary: As practice for the dream proposal goes underway, Sebastian has a sudden change of heart.
*
Sebastian rolled his eyes as four show choirs had gathered in the Dalton rotunda to go over choreography and rose petal placement.
Why had he agreed to this stupid plot again?
No, really. Why were the Warblers helping Blaine and his sidekick—who had gotten them disqualified from this year's competition without so much as an apology—with his plot to propose to the Ice Queen? Why did Trent and Niff sweep their last chance to compete before graduation under the rug like that? More importantly, why had Sebastian done so? His crush had long faded away.
He didn’t understand any of it, and it grated the more he thought about it.
He needed to stop dancing. The irritation was throwing off his footsteps, and it would piss off most everyone else. So that was what he did. In full view of the Hobbit, no less, because he now gave zero shits about the whole thing.
“Sebastian!” Blaine hissed. “Get back in your place.”
“Come on, what if he’s tired?” a pretty brunette girl replied. “We’ve been at it since this morning.”
Nope. Blaine whipped his head to face her.
“This has to be perfect, Marley,” he said. “Kurt deserves that.”
Marley sighed and moved away from her place near the staircase. She opened her mouth to respond, but a blonde cheerleader rolled her eyes and put in her two cents.
“Uh, did he deserve you running off with someone else after two weeks apart, too?”
Wait, what?
Hadn’t Blaine dumped him for greener pastures, or something? That was what he’d told Trent at least. Then again, Sebastian had heard it thirdhand from Nick, so he could have been completely wrong.
“That’s not the point!” Blaine continued. “The point is, you and the Warblers agreed to lend us Dalton for the day and join in a special performance for Kurt. You can’t just walk off and do what you want now!”
“Can. Will,” Sebastian replied. “You’re not my dad, Blaine.”
And with that, he made up his mind.
Fuck Blaine.
*
Walking out of the rotunda was immediately satisfying. He wondered why he hadn’t done it before. But now was not the time to relax.
It was time to act. A plan had formed in his head the day after the Warblers had agreed to help Blaine and friend. It was time to enact it. The baby had instructed that none of the Dalton boys bring their cells with them, and luckily for Sebastian, Nick had been forced to room with him this school year. It was perfect.
Kurt’s number apparently hadn’t changed since he went back to McKinley. Sebastian copied each digit into his own phone carefully before making sure that Nick’s cell was in the exact spot he’d left it. After that, it was just a matter of sending the text.
Congrats on your engagement, Princess.
-S. Smythe
His phone went off twice soon after, but studying was a much better use of his time than having an actual conversation with Hummel, so he ignored it. French was simple enough to tackle, but Calculus was a much more difficult pill to swallow even when there wasn’t an exam coming up.
“Sebastian, there you are!”
He groaned and turned his attention to the door. Nick and Jeff stood in the doorway.
“Blaine wanted us to bring you back,” Jeff explained.
“I’m not going,” he said. “We have that Calc exam coming up, remember?”
Nick shrugged.
“Well, we’re not gonna force you,” he said. “But he wanted to stress that this goes down tomorrow, and it all has to be perfect so Kurt will say yes.”
Jeff snorted. “Do you really think he will? They just got back together two days ago!”
Nick shook his head.
“I doubt it.”
While Niff started talking amongst themselves, Sebastian merely sat and listened. The more he did, the more he thought that he’d made the right choice.
His one regret was that he wouldn’t be there for the fallout.
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Would you like someone to work with on a KBW2020 project! Fill out this survey and we’ll match you with another creator with similar interests/goals. This can be a great way to make friends in the fandom, as well as getting some good content out of it.
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