Karlach: Can I kiss you?
Astarion: *sigh* I don't want you to have to ask for permission to touch or kiss me yet you are the only person who ask permission. I hate that.
Karlach: But you love me because of that right?
Astarion: Yes but because more than that too, you know. I love you because you are you and you should be respected and trusted before loved. So, you don’t need to ask permission always, my love. Don’t forget that I also miss your touch so much.
My favorite thing is putting Astarion in a het presenting relationship because let's be real everything about him reads gay man and he knows it. For the rest of his existence, this will keep happening.
A: "I know this will come as a shock to you, given this." *gestures to himself* "But I have a wife."
It's doubly funny if he's with Karlach because she gets the same shit about having a husband and then she just picks him up like "See husband."
Confession: dear people who create character mods that smooth out middle-aged characters' crows feet and laugh lines or make them "more attractive" by replacing their features with more blandly eurocentric ones: I AM STEALING SOMETHING FROM YOUR FUCKING HOUSE