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#james held his hand so tenderly 🥺
earlgreydream · 3 years
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stay in bed.
| bucky x reader | fluff | angst |
Bucky drabbles 🥺❤️
anon requested. Bucky fluff of spending the day in bed 🥺 maybe after the reader has an anxiety attack or something shakes her up?
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“You need to wake up, Y/N.”
Fear was laced in Bucky’s voice, strained from the grip you held on his neck. You robbed the soldier of oxygen, overpowering him when he slept. He tried to pry you off of him without hurting you, but you’d managed to get the upper hand, even when you had no conscious awareness of your actions.
You were shaking and screaming, nightmares plaguing your mind and making you violent in your dream state.
“Y/N, doll, it’s me, it’s James. You’re having a nightmare, whatever you’re afraid of... it isn’t real... Please wake up,” he begged hoarsely, struggling to inhale.
Your training with the avengers as a super soldier left Bucky with little chance, and your nightmare-fueled violence heightened your strength, taking control of your unconscious mind. You’d never intentionally hurt Bucky, but your night terrors that you were convinced were real told a different story. 
.
You were back again. Back at hydra headquarters, where you’d been abducted from the avengers team. Tortured for information and left to die in a desolate wasteland of ice somewhere in Russia.
It felt real, tangible. Their hands were on you, their weapons, and your body was burning from pain and violating. Scars were left on your body from the wounds inflicted, violence you’d never heal from.
It was happening again.
But this time, you hard a small voice in the distance.
“It isn’t real.”
.
You slowly forced your eyes open, breaking out of the confines of your nightmare that imprisoned your mind, holding you hostage with fear.
You realized you were choking Bucky, and his silver eyes were shadowed with fear and hurt. Horror washed over you in bitter cold waves, and you drew back. He coughed once you released his throat, and guilt rose like acid in your throat. 
“I— I’m so sorry... I didn’t...” you stammered, receding from your husband.
He sat up, catching his breath and fighting to draw oxygen into his lungs. Tears burned your eyes and rolled down your cheeks, nausea bubbling in your stomach.
“It’s okay, I’m fine. Are you okay?” Bucky asked, reaching out to you the moment he recovered.
You slowly shook your head, breaking down into sobs. Bucky moved you onto his lap, hushing your apologies and letting you cry into his chest. 
He was used to your nightmares, probably more than you even. Bucky spent many nights up with you, rocking you back to sleep or getting up to watch Netflix or bake in the middle of the night, anything to quiet the demons in your mind.
“Talk to me doll, tell me what happened,” he breathed, gently rocking you.
“I was back in the hydra headquarters,” you sniffled, unwilling to disclose the details of your nightmare. You gave him enough information that he understood but didn’t leave you needing to discuss the horrors. Silence fell after that, Bucky rubbing your back and pressing your palm to his chest, letting you feel his heartbeat to calm you down. 
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” you apologized, tenderly kissing his throat.
“I know, you don’t need to be sorry. I’m okay, you’re okay. We’re safe, just rest.”
Your mind refused to let your body sleep, and you lied awake in his arms for hours. He wasn’t able to sleep knowing you were awake, and the two of you snuggled close and whispered softly about sweet things, in an attempt to distract you.
.
Bucky had convinced you to spend the day in bed, both of you calling in sick to work. Bucky brought tea and breakfast in bed, turning on the television to your comfort show.
You laid in his arms, your hands trembling a bit as you held steaming tea. Vibranium fingers gently dragged through your hair, soothing your anxieties.
A show droned on softly in the background, and you stayed buried beneath the covers with Bucky. He rubbed your back, your head resting on his stomach. One of your legs were thrown over his, your body draped over him, allowing you to cling to your husband. 
You were always exhausted after night terrors, your mind and body giving out. You mindlessly watched Netflix, barely focusing on anything. Bucky encouraged you to try to eat, and you did your best for him, but ended up only consuming a few bites of fruit and half of the tea.
He didn’t stop rubbing your back, knowing it was the best way to soothe you after the nightmares. It forced your body to release the tension, and the rhythmic movements lulled you into a sleepy state. You fought against the urge to drift off, scared of having more nightmares.
“I’ve got you now, I’m not going to let you get that deep,” Bucky promised softly.
Your eyes slowly felt heavy, and eventually you gave in, trusting that Bucky would stay with you. 
Bucky watched you sleep, gently rubbing your back in a steady rhythm, hoping it would ward off your nightmares, your mind registering his touch on you. The house was quiet, and you were finally able to get some restful sleep, allowing both of you to relax.
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