#its not like costa rica where i nearly died - had someone try to traffic me - and got hospitalized | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clanoffelidae · 2 years

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Me: i just want to live a boring routine life with my little blorbos and plants in my window and petting all the neighborhood cats

The universe: it is 3am and the police are at your door, it has nothing to do with you but you have to deal with it anyway.

Me: okay that’s-

The universe: you have found someone’s passport and covid vaccine card on the ground while walking back to your apartment from the bus. no one is around. good luck.

Me: i’m so tired

Also sadly no neither of those were jokes

I do not have pictures of the police incident bc it was 3am and I had no idea what was going on and just wanted to go back to bed

I try to live a boring life and a lot of the chaos in my life can usually be blamed on my own lack of impulse control but even when I do literally nothing at all the universe decides that if I am not going to be chaotic and accidentally kick people in the face at raves on my own then it will just make the chaos happen around me

Also here is me scritching a kangaroo for some level of proof about the australia trip lol

#i have an aoe attack for chaos apparently #like that time i went to australia for a two week volunteer program and did literally nothing #but we still had someone who was a chronic liar that lied about being hospitalized for a flesh eating bacteria #her dad dying #and being stalked #who wasnt even part of the university anymore so technically shouldnt have been able to go with us #and was originally one of the trip leaders before she dropped out of the university so was just a normal member now thank god #refused to do any work and feigned being sick bc she signed up for a volunteer program #then got mad when it involved manual labor instead of just playing with the animals and sightseeing #then up and left the trip entirely and demanded a refund which she got half of since she left a little before one week in #went to stay with a friend she’d never actually met before #but i still had to play nice bc i had loaned her my extra water bottle and it was a really nice 1L and i wanted it back #and she told me she was talking to a lawyer about the situation #surprise surprise nothing happened #i did get my bottle back tho bc i very pointedly did not antagonize her #like i didnt even DO anything on that trip #its not like costa rica where i nearly died - had someone try to traffic me - and got hospitalized #all which were completely unrelated BUT two of them were actually my own fault #like i didnt even DO anything the universe just decides i Must live in exciting times #like that time i gassed my roommate out of the townhouse bc i tried to test out my pepper spray inside and it spread through the ventilation

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