#its a really lousy feeling becos its like a hurtle i cant get over or around.
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It's crazy that people read the words I write
#being perceived 😵💫😵💫😵💫#anywho its very windy and very rainy and im debating whether its safe enough to drive to work in my little car#its small enough that it gets pushed a bit on the road by strong winds#ive been staring out the window debating this for thr last hour instead of sleeping#i also have. a lot on my mind.#i wish i had the courage to talk to people i knew but. my brain tells me it would be a waste of time. they wouldnt care#i try not to talk abt it on here becos im like. hyper aware of myself and dont want to be annoying/weird#like i keep 75% of my emotions and issues to myself (and maybe thats not the healthiest way to do it 🫠)#but for a little while now my brain has been playing tug of war with itself and its been exhausting#exhausting to still feel this way abt people and things a year-ish ago#like my brain still wants to care but it also knows its futile and ill get hurt again if i try#its a really lousy feeling becos its like a hurtle i cant get over or around.#ill start to think im over it but then ill fall right back on my butt#scout.txt
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