#it's real missing the members of my family ive more or less lost because i had to fuckin run from the rest of them hours
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i don't miss living near most of my family, tbh, but i DO miss terribly the recovered meth addict uncle.
#he and my aunt are the kindest just like#they have a house (my grandpa's old house) full of kids whose parents are in the system#they always have#my aunt has a cleaning business thay almost exclusively employs folk recovering from addiction or domestic violence or any number of other#things#for which montana just does not provide the resources to deal with#this woman has brittle bone disease and is never not broken in like four different places but you can NOT keep her stationary#she is doing things and she is doing them because she's too fucking full of love to stay still#my dad is also very full of compassion so like it does happen in that family but where for him religion has closed him off from the world#god just means love for my aunt and uncle.#unconditionally#i grew up in the church and ive NEVER seen christianity like that#like for the record i still think theyre wrong lmao and the system they work in is harmful#idk theyre the only people ive ever known who actually prioritize folks' needs over their salvation#and that's really important#it's real missing the members of my family ive more or less lost because i had to fuckin run from the rest of them hours#he's the first person i told abt the tattoo im gonna get for my grandma someday#i have almost no memories of her where she wasn't just wreathed in smoke#even when she said she stopped smoking she never did lmao she was just. an absolute chimney of a woman#anyway she collected v kitsch strawberry things so im gonna get a kinda kitschy botanical halfsleeve at some point thats just#strawberry plants woven through with stylized cigarette smoke#anyway i was like this is probably irreverent af and some family members will NOT like it and he like LAUGHED and grabbed my arm#just like losing his shit#NO YOU HAVE TO
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The Good Mourning Part III
A/N: Haha, guess who’s not dead?
Anyway, happy we’re-done-with-January! Sorry this chapter is somewhat dialogue-heavy. There was a lot of resolution that had to be done and not much action to go along with it.
Additionally, there are some scenes missing/ things that weren’t addressed quite just yet. Some of them were removed for for flow purposes, and others. Well. We’ll get there when we get there.
Regardless, I hope you enjoy the finale of TGM!
-Skye (👻)
-
“Easy, easy—”
Aaron laughed and nudged his boss’s hand off his arm.
“I’m burned not busted. Besides, you’re the one a billion years old.” Aaron smirked and readjusted the icing bag. “I should be worrying over you, if anything.”
“Very funny. I’ll fire you any day now, I swear.” Aaron’s boss rolled his eyes and leaned on the counter. “Besides, you got burned on your dominant hand. Look at this frosting work. It’s- actually, It’s fine. But you’ve certainly done a lot better.”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s just kind of hard to get a good grip. I’ll get the hang of it.”
“And your leg?”
“Again, I said I’m fine. What the hell is your problem? It’s been almost three months.” Aaron rolled his shoulder and sighed before setting down the icing bag. “Also, I can’t work when you’re looking at me like that. Just…really. What is going on with you, Stanley?”
Stanley sighed and rubbed his face before nervously scratching at his beard.
“I…I don’t know. I guess I never really had a family and– c’mon, you little shit. Don’t make me say it.”
“Aww, boss. You never told me you had a heart deep beneath that gross crusty old man act.” Aaron laughed.
“Yeah, yeah. Real cute. See if I sign your check next time, much less open up.” Stanley stormed across the kitchen to wash his hands. “You’re real charming, kid.”
“Oh don’t be like that.” Aaron picked up the icing bag and started gently swirling frosting onto each cupcake. “You know what I mean. When I was out, there’s no one else I woulda trusted to watch Tom ‘n the kittens…’n…I don’t know. If I could have my cat in here, with you guys and baking and all… I don’t think I’d ever leave.”
Aaron smiled slightly.
“Besides, you were there for me when I had no one and you hired me as a cashier, and then you gave me the chance at…this.”
Aaron froze before bursting out in laughter.
“Stan, are you-are you crying?”
“I’m just thinking about how terrible of a cashier you were.” Stanley sniffled and wiped at his eyes in the crook of his elbow. “You were friggin terrible. Got to me is all.”
He put gloves on and walked to stand next to Aaron.
“We lost almost as much money from you doing math bad as when you were out.” Stan grabbed a tray of red velvet and got started icing them. “We needed ya here. We were hit pretty hard without you. I…should have really kept my promise and made the big guy pay for it.”
“You mean Dan? I mean, they were hit pretty hard, too.” Aaron sighed. “I mean, literally, sure. He’s been in and out of the hospital since. I can’t imagine what his copay is, and if he didn’t step in front of it for me, I’d been finished for, I’m sure. But also… I dunno. I don’t really have a family either, but when I do it’s this.”
“You’re a good guy, Aaron.”
Aaron snorted. “You’re just saying that to make me feel good about myself.”
“Yeah, you’re kind of a jackass.”
Aaron laughed. “Yeah. No worries about losing the money though. People have been trailing in here non-stop because they thought we closed for a bit because something happened to you. Y’know, in your fragile, elderly state.”
“Yeah, yeah. You know, it’s a shame the fire didn’t burn your hair off. You look like a frickin’ hippy.”
Aaron laughed harder. “Maybe for your birthday. You’ve only got so many left, after all.”
“Shame it didn’t burn your mouth off, too.”
They iced in silence for a moment before Stanley spoke up again.
“Hey, once we’re in the clear again and have enough money saved up, I think you gave me an idea for our next spot, Aaron.”
—
Cody cautiously opened the door.
“Hey Milo?” He asked. “Dad and Miranda want to know if you would rather have sparkling red grape juice or sparkling…red grape juice?”
Milo looked up from his project.
“…What?”
“We’re out of white, but the red are different brands.” Cody said.
“I… got that. I meant why, I guess.”
“Oh! Dad and Miranda, uh. Do this dinner thing on special occasions. They get Italian takeout and wine, light a bunch of candles and pretend it’s all fancy. They started getting the grape juice, so I feel included and junk.”
“Huh.” Milo picked up the duck tape. “Sorry, I…uh. Does this look right to you?”
Cody stepped into the room and flicked on the light.
“It looks like…holy cow, are you done?”
Milo held Jake’s guitar close, fidgeting with the neck.
“Almost, I think! The top part needs a little more tape and junk.” Milo set the guitar down gently on the bed. “How does it look?”
The guitar was, truthfully, an amalgamation of glue and tape, but it was the first time Cody had seen it in one piece in months. All the strings were fixed, the paint that could be reapplied was, and it seemed finally whole. Cody walked up and smiled, taking in the details of the guitar.
As soon as he looked up, though, the smile fell in an instant.
“Milo?”
“Hmm?”
“When was the last time you slept?”
“Last night.”
“For more than two hours?”
“…That’s not fair.” Milo rubbed his eyes as if trying to wipe away the bags. “’Sides, look how far I got!”
“Milo, that’s cool and all, but—”
“Cody, you know this is important to me.”
“Yes, but at our age we need ten-to-twelve hours of sleep.” Cody sighed. “Milo…I’m worried about you. You’re all pale, and…you look like you’re starting to get sick. Sleep is–”
“I can’t sleep, okay?!” Milo balled his fists. “I tried. I really, really tried. I know it’s important. I just…can’t.”
Cody grabbed some tissues and sat down on the other side of the bed, trying not to jostle the guitar. He reached over and handed a tissue to Milo, who immediately began wiping away the rapidly-beading tears.
“Not like I can tell Dad, right?” Milo laughed dryly.
Cody forced a smile.
“Well, you can soon, right? That’s what we’re celebrating. Dan is finally getting his wires out. He’ll be able to eat for real soon and his teeth were all fixed and the surgery went well-he’s in the clear! It’s your last night with us with Dan hurt. Everything’s going back to normal.”
“‘Cept it won’t.” Milo muttered. “One of my dads is still gone and hasn’t made even a little bit of a sign to say he’s out there. And I saw the other- Cody, I don’t ever want to see Dan like that again. I…”
“Daniel Fuller, sit down!”
Dan whipped his head around from beside his hospital bed, looking dazedly at the IVs he ripped out and back up at Reese.
“Whhh…” Dan’s mouth felt like it was full of cotton. That felt correct given the circumstances, but he couldn’t remember exactly why.
Reese sighed and began walking across the room to guide him back to the hospital bed.
She forced a slight smile as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“…Welcome back to the world of the living.”
Finally, it clicked as Reese began putting back in the IVs. If Reese was here, then he was at the hospital. And if he was at the hospital…
“Whirrrrrr…is Ja’e?” Dan asked. “Mi’o?”
Reese frowned and looked to the other member of the room. Milo was looking back at Dan with wide, puffy eyes. His cheeks were streaked and stained with tears. He was holding something up with his sweatshirt, keeping it tight to his chest.
Milo stood up, taking a step toward Dan, wanting nothing more than to lunge at his dad and cry for hours. However, the movement seemed to remind Milo about what he was holding onto and he tensed up again.
Dan looked at Milo worriedly. He moved to to get up again, but Reese gave him a stern look.
“That’s enough, Mr. Fuller.” She watched him as he hesitantly scooted back into the bed. “You were concussed something fierce, not to mention the broken jaw and fractured cheekbone. You are going to stay still until at least the swelling goes down so we can do surgery.”
That was right. He and Aaron went to Donna’s old house. The rest was kind of fuzzy, but Dan was pretty sure Jake ended up being there. Milo was left with Cody. And now Dan and Milo were both at the hospital.
“It’s weird treating you and not Milo. You’re usually the safe one,” Reese forced a faint smile. She looked at Milo for a moment and back to Dan. “I have to go do rounds, but I’ll be right back. Just- please. Stay still. There’s the call button if you need me.”
Dan absentmindedly touched the bandage around his face while looking over Milo carefully. Milo seemed beyond upset, but not physically hurt. Dan sighed in relief and sank back into the hospital bed. He closed his eyes without realizing it, and jerked back awake from the movement on the other side of the room.
“Dad.” Milo sniffled, holding on to what was in his sweatshirt in one hand and wiping tears and snot off his face with the other. “Dad, Dad, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t-“
Milo was cut off by Dan wordlessly cupping a hand (the free one, the other was resting with the IVs) on the side of his face, silently wiping some of Milo’s tears away.
“Mi’o.” Dan said again, this time quieter but equally as desperate. He looked at his son intensely, desperate to say more and comfort him but not about to test the waters with Reese any further.
They looked at each other for a moment before Milo ripped his gaze away. Without another word, he dumped the splinters of Jake’s guitar onto Dan’s bed.
To Dan’s credit, he didn’t scream or wail like Milo feared he might—or like what Milo felt like doing. In fact, other than a faint gasp, Dan was so quiet that Milo had to force himself to turn around from the comfort of looking at the wall.
Dan was holding part of the neck, eyes wide. Tears were pooling up and spilling down his cheeks, but he didn’t seem to realize it. He gently nudged one of the pieces aside, looking at the scope of the damage.
The only response from the anchor- the thing keeping Jake with them- was a pitiful and faint cyan glow before fading out entirely.
Dan tightened his grip on the piece he was holding and began to tremble.
He didn’t scream or wail. Instead he cried quietly, holding the remaining pieces of his best friend. Milo wasn’t sure how long he watched Dan cry. Milo cried too, sure, but it felt strange. Dan, Dan Milo’s father, Dan the strong, Dan the one who had to keep it together so long for both Jake and Milo.
Neither talked much except occasional choked off apologies or reassurances. After awhile, it seemed to wear Dan out significantly. He fell asleep holding Milo’s hand in one hand and the same piece of the guitar in the other. Milo gathered up most of the pieces with his free hand, trying not to wake Dan up.
And when Reese came back, she didn’t comment on the broken guitar in the bed or report Milo staying past visiting hours, sleeping by Dan’s side.
And when Milo woke up with an additional blanket on his shoulders, his father fast and deep asleep still from painkillers, he didn’t say anything, either. But neither forgot.
“-ilo? Milo?”
“Hm?” Milo shook his head of the memory, trying to clear it like an Etch-a-sketch.
“I lost you for a second.” Cody offered more tissues, and Milo was shocked to realize how many tears were streaming down his cheeks.
“Sorry, I thought I was done with…all this.” Milo scrubbed at his eyes and wiped his nose
They sat in silence for a moment. The only sounds were Milo’s stifled sniffling and the gentle hum of the heater.
“It’s…okay to be upset. It was scary.” Cody sighed. “But you can always talk about it, ya know? It’s been fun with you being here more– though the situation isn’t great– and I just wish… I don’t know.”
Cody scratched the back of his neck and looked away.
“Make sure to take care of yourself too, Milo.”
Milo was silent for a moment before picking up the tape again and pulling the guitar into his lap. He ripped off a piece of duck tape and firmly wrapped it around the neck of the guitar.
“I know.” He finally responded quietly. “‘Sides, even if I didn’t, I think you would- I don’t know.”
“Post a ‘Milo cringe compilation everyday until Milo eats like a human?’”
“I dunno, I’d have to be embarrassed first for it to be cringe.” Milo laughed. “I wasn’t eating like a human before, anyway.”
“What about a ‘Cody snitches and tells Tegan, who won’t leave it alone’ kind of thing?’”
Milo gasped dramatically. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Nah, that’d be low. Even for me.” Cody leaned back before grinning. “Maybe…summoning an ancient god to hex you for your hubris until you get a full night’s sleep?”
“Actually, that’s your closest yet.” Milo smiled back. “But where’ll you get the tome?”
“Ah. Rats.” Cody snapped his fingers. “You got me there. For now.”
“You’ll find a way.” Milo yawned. “Always do.”
“Heh.”
The two sat in quiet for a moment as Cody watched Milo tinker with the guitar.
“I…think it’s finally sturdy.”
Milo gently handed the guitar for Cody to look over. Cody ran his fingers along the cracks and seems, before holding it as if to play. He then looked at it again before beaming at Milo.
“Milo, you did it!” Cody handed it back. “It looks great.”
“Thanks!” He took the guitar back and began gently picking at a piece of glue that obtruded above the crack it fixed. “All that’s left is tuning it, I think. I think.”
“Now would be a good time to take a break.” Cody got up from the bed. “Dinner’s been here and ready. I just came up here to ask about the grape juice.”
“I…either’s fine? I guess?”
“Does that mean you’ll come down?”
Milo looked away and held the guitar close.
“Milo-“
“I just need to tune it. I already found tutorials online.” Milo smiled tiredly. “I’ll come down when I’m done, okay? And that’s it.”
“…Promise?”
“I promise.”
Cody sighed and stood up. He hugged Milo briefly before heading to the door.
“…Your plate will be in the fridge.”
Cody stepped out of the room and headed to the kitchen. Cody couldn’t bring himself to meet Dom’s hopeful eyes.
“Milo’s not coming.”
—-
“-Then let’s hear how it sounds all together! If you don’t have a pick, for a gentler sound, strum your guitar using your thumb like this!” The grainy figure adjusted their camera slightly before demonstrating a simple thumb. “My dad taught me this trick when I was-“
“Yeuch.” Milo shut his phone off before the tutorial could finish and flopped back onto the bed.
He rubbed his eyes, wishing he shut the light back off when Cody left. He lay like that for a moment and counting his breath, hands gently pressed into his eyes until he saw the slightest bursts of stars.
Finally, Milo shot up and began flapping his arm nervously, trying to calm down.
“Okay, okay. Okay.” He took a deep breath and grabbed the guitar. “Dad, I dunno if you can hear me, but if this doesn’t work- if this doesn’t work, I’m going to take a break for a bit, okay? I’ll come back, but I’m beginning to think Cody’s right, and- okay.”
Milo held the guitar like how he saw in the video and took deep breaths in and out.
“Okay. On the count of three.”
“One-“ Milo lifted his hand shakily and held it just above the chords.
“Two.” He took a quick shallow breath, meaning to do the exact opposite.
“Three.”
Milo strummed the guitar. There was the sound of glass breaking and a bright cyan light engulfed his vision.
—-
The guitar was ripped away before Milo could realize what was happening.
It floated to the middle of the room, where it hovered before a figure formed around it. The figure, entirely blank other than vaguely humanoid, hesitated before quickly taking on their features. First was a neat burial suit, followed by tired eyes and a shock of blonde hair.
In a matter of seconds, there was Jake.
Jake collapsed to the floor, holding on to the guitar strapped to his chest like a lifeline, and took a deep and unnecessary breath. His hand moved from the guitar to grab at his unmoving chest. He gasped again before starting to get up.
“Dad?” Milo tried to blink some of the blotches out of his eyes.
“Milo-“ Jake started, but Milo had already jumped off the bed and bounded toward him.
Jake instinctively raised his arms to hold Milo in the embrace, but they phased right through Milo. The guitar stopped Milo from going through him entirely, which caused Milo to gently lay a hand on it as be began breathing faster and faster.
“Sorry,” Jake started. He cringed slightly at the echo effect of his voice. “I don’t think I’m all the way back yet-“
“Dad, I’m so sorry for fighting with you and saying you’re not my dad, and for making you feel like you can’t tell me stuff, and I’m sorry for taking so long to fix this and for the haunted house and for talking back to you and-“
“Breathe.” Jake smiled softly and got as close as he could to wrapping his arms around Milo. Milo shuddered for a second at the cold sensation rather than the feeling of touch. “Milo, you did so, so great.”
“But I- but I…” Milo trailed off and burst into tears.
The two stood in the mock hug for a moment, Milo’s hand not leaving the guitar. Jake waited until Milo’s breathing evened out somewhat into a quiet hiccup.
“You brought me back.” Jake reached up and held his hand as if he were cupping Milo’s cheek. “You put back together the guitar—that’s incredible! You’re incredible, Milo.”
“Yeah.” Milo sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “Yeah! Take that, Cody! Sleep is for the weak!”
Jake chuckled.
“I don’t know about that.“ He cleared his throat. “Im fact, I think sleep might be up there in the whole ‘human needs’ thing. When’s the last time you slept?”
He sighed in relief as the echo effect dissipated, pulling back slightly to take in Milo’s expression.
“Boo, not you too.” Milo pouted. “Cody and Dad have been getting on my case nonstop already.”
“Well, they’re right. I…” Jake looked away. “How…is Dan doing, by the way?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is he okay?”
“He’s getting his stitches out today!” Milo smiled for a moment before his expression fell into confusion. “That’s why I’m at Cody’s. Uh, here at Cody’s. I guess.”
“Uh-“ Jake blinked in surprise.
“Did…you really were gone, huh?”
Jake scratched the back of his neck and looked at the floor, still somewhat surprised by the realization he wasn’t in their house.
“Not gone. It was like-“ He shook his head. “I don’t know how to describe it, but not gone. And just now, Milo, you made the door to bring me back here.”
Jake held up the guitar and smiled.
“I could feel you, though. Whenever you touched this, Milo, I knew it was you. And Cody sometimes. But Dan…” He trailed off and the smile vanished entirely.
“I think he’s been having trouble.”
“Oh.”
“He missed you a lot.”
Jake laughed dryly and looked away again.
“Well, I missed him too. I missed all of you so much.”
Overcome with the need to ease the tension to the point he was nearly vibrating, Milo quickly replied.
“Not as much as Cody’s gonna miss his window!”
“What? Oh- oh my god.”
Jake stood up quickly to get a better look at the blown-out window.
“Did I do that? Or did you do that?”
“Definitely you. You know, this time.” Milo followed suit and peered around Jake to take in the scene. “You exploded before you came back. There was a bright light and boom, you knocked out the window. It’s…weird no one came up to check on the noise.”
“I will definitely make sure that gets fixed.” Jake walked over to sit on the bed. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before absentmindedly fiddling with the tuning pegs of the guitar.
Milo hesitated before sitting on the bed beside him.
“…Was I close to doing it right?”
“You were really close. It just needs a little more tweaking, but I can’t say it enough-the fact you fixed this without me teaching you about the parts of a guitar, the way you fixed all the pieces together- you’re incredible, Milo. And I’m so, so proud of you.”
“Thanks.” Milo yawned. “I think it’s dumb that you can sit on furniture but you can’t hug me after being gone for like three months.”
“It has to do with affecting the environment versus affecting a person.”
“Hmm.”
“Environment comes first.”
“You sound a lot like Cody.” Milo scooted back so his back was to the wall.
“He taught me everything I know. Which is pretty ironic if you think about it.” Jake stopped tuning and looked out of the corner of his eye at Milo. “You never answered my question. When’s the last time you slept?”
“Last night, technically.”
“I can’t say it enough how proud I am of you for this and being brave,” Jake fully turned to get a better look at his son. Milo turned away. “But that’s not the answer I was hoping to hear.”
“I know. I just haven’t been able to with, you know, everything going on.”
They sat quietly before Jake grinned.
“When you were little-really little, you’d fall asleep right away if I played for you.” Jake turned his gaze back to the guitar. “You’d always sneak out of bed and say you were going to get a snack, or use the bathroom, or get a glass of water, but instead you’d go play with your toys.”
Jake looked around the room and locked eyes with a video game ghost plush in the corner. “Now, you sneak out of bed and come here if you can’t sleep.”
“What can I say? I’m a sucker for tradition.”
Jake laughed and Milo cracked a tired grin back.
“You should play.” Milo said. “If you want.”
Jake hesitated before adjusting the guitar slightly as if to play it. He got his fingers over the chord and before stopping jerkily.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Milo quickly added.
Jake nodded and played a few chords, expression falling to that of focus as he tried to get the feel again. After some more nitpicking with the tuning pegs, he began to tentatively pluck out more notes.
He looked back over at Milo and the bags under his eyes.
“You’re sure it’s not going to make you fall asleep?”
“I promise it’s not. I’m fourteen, remember?”
Jake’s grin came back with full force.
“Oh, of course.”
Without another word, he began plucking out a lullaby from a decade prior. The room was silent save for the gentle music, the house almost seeming to have emptied itself to make room for the sound itself.
Learning an effective lullaby after the much louder and angrier Problem Sons was tricky. However, it was nowhere as tricky as an energetic toddler—or, beyond that, losing Milo Sr.
Once Jake was comfortable enough repeating the chords of the chorus, he began to sing. His voice soft and hoarse from disuse and his eyes never left the guitar as the melody played.
By the time he was finished, he took a breath and turned slightly to gauge Milo’s reaction.
Of course, it was an unnecessary measure. Jake chuckled and stood up, slinging the guitar around to his back.
“You shouldn’t make promises you don’t think you can keep.” Jake whispered to Milo’s sleeping form.
He gently brushed the hair out of Milo’s face and kissed his forehead.
“Goodnight, Milo.”
__
The young woman shuffled in the room holding two mugs, still shaking slightly from the events that unfolded months prior. She offered a cup to her guest and took the other before sitting on the couch.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know who else to call,” she said. She took a long drink from the coffee and took a deep breath.
“You’re quite alright.” The guest fiddled with an unlit cigar. “You’ve been such a help for us. I’d love to return the favor any way I can, though I can’t say the same for your husband.”
“I know, but you’ll do it for me, right?” The woman looked up hopefully, holding her breath for the response.
“Ghosts are typically not something the Church helps with. Demons, sure-but ghosts?”
The priest set down the coffee mug and stood up, walking around the room and looking at the pictures that hung the walls. He stopped at the painted portrait of the Virgin Mary and sighed.
“Even if it was something we normally helped with, it’s been months.”
“I know.” The woman sniffled and set down her coffee mug to grab a fistful of tissues. “It’s just- I haven’t been able to sleep. I’m still scared of it coming back-it used this fire, and while it didn’t burn anything inside, it still was bright blue and real and- did you know the house that used to be here burned down? What if it was the ghost? We can’t afford to move again-what if it comes after us this time?”
“Calm down. Take a deep breath. I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it.”
The woman obeyed, taking in a lungful of air and holding it until the priest spoke again.
“Your family has been in our church for decades. I cannot emphasize this enough- this is not something we can normally do. But-“ He sighed and scratched at the stubble on his cheek. “I will do it for you, just for you, and just because it’s you.”
“Oh, thank you-“
The priest interrupted.
“I fully believe the ghost is no longer within this building. However, for your ease of mind, I promise I will track it down if it’s still on this plane and send it to its rightful place.”
He stuck the cigar in his mouth, chewing a bit at the mouthpiece while thinking. “Therefore, we need to know more about it. You said this place burned down before?”
“Yes. It was completely destroyed. The owner sold the property immediately after. We bought it from her and built the new house.”
“She might know something; I’d be happy to reach out to her and get this started. Do you happen to have her name?”
“I took out the house information as soon as I heard you were coming.” The woman responded.
She went to the dining room before returning with a handful of papers. She dug through them before coming across the deed.
“Oh! Here we go. That’s right.” She looked up and smiled at the priest, waving the sheet of paper.
“It was Ms. Donna Pierly.”
#ASJFKLSDHFLSADHGLSADKFLKSDAHGASBFKDSAKLFHSITESABFJLVFSSAIUFALSBJFKLSAJFHSDAHFLSDFJsd#ITS HERE#ITS HERE AND MY HEART HURTS NOW THANK U SO MUCH#I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU AND I M SCREAMIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#WHAT A GOOD STORY DUDE LIKE...SERIOUSLY#but also how dare you end it like that you MONSTER#friend art#fics#ghost jake#submission
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Author Interview
Tagged by @charlatron for these questions a long, long time ago...thank you, and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this! It got lost in my Drafts folder, and I decided to clean that out as I procrastinate on other things, so...umm...yeah!
Name: Adrian
Fandoms: Dragon Age (and everything else, but still mostly Dragon Age)
Where you post: AO3, and here (WIPs and random drabbles, head canons, and excerpts)
Most popular one shot: “...And when it comes...” a tooth-rottingly sweet fenhawke+kids two-chapter thing where I introduced dad!Fenris as a habitual hair-braider (also includes a really disturbing flashback, so CW for slavery and implied/suggested sexual abuse). It was also the first fan fic I ever shared publicly!
Most popular multi-chapter story: lol...I don’t talk about this much (watch me talk a lot about it right now), but it’s a Seven Deadly Sins Jericho-centric fic, called Walls Tumbling Down (har de har har!). I’ve only ever watched the first two seasons of the show on Netflix because me and my real-life partner like to occasionally binge watch anime for shits and giggles, but I’m not involved in the fandom at all (a lot of stuff about the show and I assume the manga is actually a little squicky for me). I started writing this because I really liked one (1) character who deserved more attention and more opportunities to yell at everyone (and she does that! and it’s really cathartic to write!). About once a year I get inspired to add a chapter (it’s all outlined, and ends with some closure for my girl) and somehow, those blessed kudos keep trickling in...
Favourite story you wrote: I think In Deep is my most self-indulgent fic right now, even though it’s not complete, and it’s in a different world state than most of my other stuff. It’s mostly about Anders, post-Inquisition, following Dread Moon, a collab multi-chapter fic I wrote with my buddy, @figgypudz about her our OC Alarion, an elf who was spying on Dorian for this mysterious organization, the Agents of Fen’Harel (it takes place pre-Trespasser). Anders and Alarion are boyfriends now, and they are on the run (sorta) and Anders is getting a chance to process and heal and be adored by someone. Oh, and Cole keeps popping in, too. <3
How you choose your titles: Ok, so I thought that said “titties” and I was like, “I’m not very particular...” and I guess the same goes for my titles. If it’s a multi-chapter thing, I try to figure out a theme or a pattern for naming chapters. Same goes for series. My Lost and Found series was originally all verby-sounding titles, but then I got distracted by spin-offs. Sometimes it’s a character quote or a reference to the source material that is particularly relevant to the theme or situation. I’m terrible about using song lyrics or poems or whatever. So, yeah...IDK...
Complete: 7! Whaaat?! (Most of those are one-shots or parts of a longer series...)
Incomplete: 8...plus everything else I haven’t even started sharing yet...eeeeek!
Do you outline: Yes. Obsessively. Often. All over the place. With arrows and links and omg...my brain needs to just knock it off with all the planning and mapping sometimes.
Coming Soon: Oof...um...I’m three two chapters away from finishing Fly Away of my Lost and Found series and those chapters are already mostly/sort of written! There’s gonna be some more fenhawke smut, and a lot less drinking for one person in particular...
Do you accept prompts: I suck at focusing enough on something I’m not completely passionate about to pull this off, I think, and I find the idea of writing for other people really intimidating! Those of you who can just take someone else’s suggestions and run with them are amazing and I admire you. Maybe once I get all these stories out of my head? So...probably never.
Upcoming story you’re most excited to write: The next part of Lost and Found, Part IV (I think?): Legacy, should be kinda fun (and shorter, I hope!), cuz it will feature a super pregnant Hawke trying to do the stuff from the DA2 Legacy DLC (with some help from some familiar Wardens and some other friends/family members she has been missing since she left Kirkwall)...but I made goals for #theWIPproject2020 of working on some of my current WIPs, so that might have to wait!
I’m tagging @factorykat, @serial-chillr, and @hermiowngranger. Please ignore if you’ve already done this or just like, don’t feel like it, maaannnn...
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This is how we can envision Black freedom
For the U.S. to untangle itself from its legacy of white supremacism, we must live like we understand what our true history teaches us, from Emmett Till to George Floyd.
PUBLISHED MAY 25, 2021• 20 MIN READ
I.
On June 27, 2015, Black artist and activist Bree Newsome Bass climbed the flagpole at the South Carolina statehouse and took down the Confederate flag that had flown above the people of that state for over 50 years. This act came 10 days after a white supremacist murdered eight Black parishioners and their pastor at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston. Grown from a congregation first organized by enslaved and free Blacks in the late 18th century, Emanuel is the oldest African Methodist Episcopal church in the American South. It is a church where Black freedom has been envisioned and practiced throughout the entirety of its existence, from the 19th-century congregant Denmark Vesey—who bought his own freedom and helped plan a revolt of his fellow human beings who were still enslaved—to the 20th-century civil rights marchers and leaders who regularly gathered within its sacred space.
As she expected, Newsome Bass was arrested as soon as she rappelled down the statehouse flagpole, Confederate flag in hand. Her act memorialized Emanuel’s pastor and parishioners. It also made an ephemeral but indelible monument to Black freedom.
When asked why she did what she did, Newsome Bass answered, “I did it because I am free.”
What does it mean to be Black and free in a country that rejects Black freedom?
II.
I am an educator who teaches students about submerged histories, revelatory art, and the critical thinking that sharpens questions that move us toward truth. I am a poet, and my poet’s tool is the word. The word is holy and bears the heft of human experience; the poet must wield it as precisely as possible. I have found that writing poems brings me closer to understanding my fellow human beings—individually and in community—in our many contradictions and complex histories. Poems give form to truths and understandings that might otherwise be lost.
As leader of the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation, I am privileged to help support artists, thinkers, researchers, and other kinds of builders who illuminate stories and experiences that have often been hidden, overwritten, or mistold.
In a year darkened by loss, their light shone with particular power through the work we are supporting with the largest initiative in our history, the Monuments Project.
We have found inspiration in monuments like artist Judith Baca’s “Great Wall of Los Angeles,” a vibrant mural more than half a mile long that has brought together dozens of community members over 40 years to paint a richer, more inclusive history of California.
We supported a new memorial to Emmett Till, the 14-year-old Black boy from Chicago who, when visiting family in Mississippi in the summer of 1955, was kidnapped, tortured, and murdered by two white men for allegedly whistling at a white woman. His mother brought his body back to Chicago for an open-casket funeral to “let the people see what they did to my boy,” and Jet magazine published photographs that would widely spread the word of a terrifying story that was not isolated.
Till became an emblem of the racist violence that Blacks were still subject to and helped to catalyze the civil rights movement. The site sign that marks where his body was pulled from the Tallahatchie River in Mississippi had to be replaced many times because it was riddled with bullet holes.
As an educator and fieldbuilder in African American studies, I believe that the knowledge from this field sits at the center of any genuine understanding of the United States, holding the legacy and ongoing existence of anti-Black enmity in its unflinching gaze alongside the knowledge, philosophy, and creativity that emerges from this American history of struggle and endurance.
The lynching of Emmett Till and the mass murder of the Emanuel parishioners—among countless other acts of anti-Black terrorism down through the generations—underscore this truth about our country: It was built in part, and is still being built, on anti-Black hatred and violence. How do we move forward with this contemptible knowledge and its antidotes as our guides?
III.
On January 6, 2021, domestic terrorists carried out a violent insurrection at the United States Capitol. Incited by the president and some in the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives, this armed and organized mob brutalized law enforcement; killed a police officer; terrorized democratically elected representatives, their staffs, and some of their family members; assaulted journalists; erected a gallows; looted offices; stole documents and laptops, including that of the speaker of the House, which the thief allegedly planned to sell to Russian agents; smeared human feces through the building; and extensively defaced commemorative displays and works of art, including a memorial placard to Congressman John Lewis, the recently deceased civil rights icon.
Also on that day: A Confederate flag, which had never before breached the heart of Congress, was waved in its halls by one of the terrorists. This flag memorializes white supremacy, commemorates the lost cause of those who fought a war to keep Black Americans enslaved, and instructs race-based hatred.
After hours spreading savagery and chaos through the halls, the terrorists were largely allowed to depart the Capitol unfettered. Photographs showed Black and brown custodial workers cleaning up the wreckage the mob left behind.
IV.
Years ago, I wrote a series of sonnets in the voices of young Black women who studied at Quaker educator Prudence Crandall’s school in Canterbury, Connecticut, in the 1830s. White parents pulled their daughters from the school because they did not want them educated alongside Black students, but Miss Crandall continued educating those young Black women and girls despite the violent opposition of Canterbury’s white residents. Those residents ultimately burned the school to the ground. Miss Crandall’s unwavering courage could not keep the schoolhouse safe. But in the sonnets’ vision, the rare quest for education for Black women was “the one perfect religion” that the townspeople could not destroy.
Without learning, without knowledge, without the voices and the experiences and the insights gained from a determined excavation of our country’s past, we will never eradicate racism and racial violence. If we are to stop weaving white supremacism into the fabric of our country, then we must learn our full histories. We must live like we understand what that history teaches us.
In a poem, I once portrayed the great poet Robert Hayden in the 1940s as he dedicated himself, “stoop-shouldered,” to sifting through the records of the slave ship Amistad, extracting history’s hidden insights and the story of resistance from that ship’s log. “Blood from a turnip,” I wrote of his daunting and exhausting process of deep research to tell the story of “this / protagonist-less / Middle Passage” from the perspective of the captives rather than solely that of the captors.
Ultimately the “slavers’ meticulous records” revealed the determination of the Africans on board to resist being dehumanized as property. That gave Hayden, in turn, the knowledge he needed to tell us the story too few had contemplated: that there were many Black people who challenged slavery as their fate and fought back for their freedom, as well as white people who were their allies.
To return to Miss Crandall: After her school was destroyed, in 1834, one of her students, a young Black woman named Julia Williams, moved to New Hampshire to study at an integrated school. There, as in Canterbury, the act of teaching Black and white children together drew a violent response from white people in the community. I researched the history and then described, in the conjured voice of Miss Williams, an unforgettable true scene:
From the town and neighbors came
three hundred armed men, ninety oxen teams.
They dragged the school building utterly off
its foundation. I have twice seen bloodlust
and ignorance combust. I have seen it.
Bloodlust and ignorance combust. I continue to return to those words.
V.
New York City, where I was born, is a city that exists in the mind and in the matter-of-fact corporeality of day-to-day New Yorkers as one definition of freedom—freedom of expression, freedom of belief, and the power of a multicultural metropolis.
The identity emerges from complexity. More enslaved Black people lived in New York City in the 1700s than in any city other than Charleston, South Carolina. Many free Black people lived in New York as well, in places such as Seneca Village, where residents were forced out by eminent domain in 1857 before the community was razed to build Central Park. Those enslaved and free Black people’s stories still speak to us through material clues such as the coins, beads, coffins, and shrouds left behind in subterranean sites like the African Burial Ground in Lower Manhattan.
In Brooklyn, in 2001, five corncobs laid out in a distinct shape were found in a crawl space of a house. Those corncobs formed a star, scholars determined, that suggested a West African cosmogram, one that conveys two worlds of the living and the dead, both eternally connected in a West African vision of the cosmos in diaspora.
When I read about that archaeological discovery, I envisioned the moment when the rumor of freedom was made real, in a poem called “Emancipation”:
Corncob constellation,
oyster shell, drawstring pouch, dry bones.
Gris gris in the rafters.
Hoodoo in the sleeping nook.
Mojo in Linda Brent’s crawlspace.
Nineteenth century corncob cosmogram
set on the dirt floor, beneath the slant roof,
left intact the afternoon
that someone came and told those slaves,
‘We’re free.’
Imagine, the revelation of freedom—two words, “We’re free.” We are still enacting and imagining the aftermath.
VI.
In mid-century Los Angeles, in the Watts neighborhood, an Italian immigrant named Simon Rodia built an extraordinary structure by hand. The Watts Towers soar toward the sky in multiple forms, nearly a hundred feet tall at the highest. Rodia envisioned and built the towers day by day over three decades, from durable steel and delicate wire mesh, bottle glass, white seashells, pottery shards, mint chip and maraschino mosaic tiles, shades of lapis lazuli, cobalt, and the thick, bright yellow of a crayoned sun. Like the “corncob constellation” left behind in the crawl space of the house in Brooklyn, each seemingly mysterious object carries power and meaning.
“It shows that we are people too, that we have brains and we can make it too if we put our minds to it,” Carolyn Byers, a young woman from Watts, said of the towers. She was talking to a reporter in 1991, the year Rodia’s vision was designated a national landmark; six months before that, a Black man named Rodney King was brutally beaten by white police officers in the San Fernando Valley, and the officers’ subsequent acquittal sparked five days of riots across South Los Angeles.
Rodia moved to Watts about a century and a half after the Spanish founded the pueblo that became Los Angeles. Many of the Gabrielino-Tongva peoples who were the first inhabitants of the Los Angeles Basin were forced into enslaved labor at the region’s Spanish missions. By 1848 the part of Tovaangar that would become Watts had passed from the Spanish Empire to the Republic of Mexico and then was taken, along with more than half of Mexico’s territory, by the aggressively expansionist United States at the conclusion of the Mexican-American War.
Rodia lived in the community as it changed from one populated mostly by whites and Mexican Americans to a home for African Americans who had left the South in the Great Migration. By the time he completed the towers in 1954, the Watts community was predominantly Black; today, one full century after he first put his hands to steel at East 107th Street, it is majority Latinx, including large communities of Mexicans and Salvadorans. Throughout this time—throughout Los Angeles—descendants of the Gabrielino-Tongva peoples have continued to live in and honor their ancestral homeland. None of these complexities contradict; we must understand them together.
I have always been so moved by the inspirational power and seeming impossibility of the towers that I described them in the poem “Stravinsky in L.A.”: “The Watts Towers aim to split / the sky into chroma, spires tiled with rubble / nothing less than aspiration.”
To aspire: from the root meaning, fundamentally, “to breathe.”
VII.
When my family moved to Washington, D.C., from Harlem in late 1963, many parts of the city were racially segregated. I grew up a few blocks from the U.S. Capitol. My family and I would regularly stroll its meticulously tended grounds and sometimes picnic. Most years on the Fourth of July, we’d lay out blankets in the humid evening and listen to the U.S. Marine Band as fireworks exploded overhead in the summer deep darkness.
The Library of Congress was my childhood library because the Library of Congress is a public library. In high school I would research and write my papers there. Sitting in the glorious rotunda, I would think with excitement how the very building in which I learned held almost every single book on Earth. Anyone who walked through the doors had access to them.
I knew that the Capitol was where the actual business of our country’s governance took place and that it stood gleaming as both a symbol and a site for working out the complexities of millions of different people, with all their beliefs and backgrounds and experiences, living alongside one another in an ever evolving democratic experiment. My parents taught me that the Capitol was built by enslaved Black people, and that reverence for a space that was ours did not erase understanding voter suppression and the three-fifths compromise. They showed me how to hold seeming contradiction with a comprehension of our full history.
At the Lincoln Memorial, the towering marble form of the 16th president might make a child feel dwarfed, just as it made me feel as a child. But I want the child of today to understand that this figure is not merely a shadowing stone statue. It is also a site of powerful community gathering and activation. As the central location of the 1963 March on Washington and Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech—and so many marches to follow—the Lincoln Memorial is one of the most significant sites of civic action in our history. When Marian Anderson sang “my country, ’tis of thee” on its steps in 1939, she rebuked the segregation that had barred her from singing in Constitution Hall before the Daughters of the American Revolution.
Monuments and memorials are places where people come together to remember, to collectively mark a moment, to be a “we,” to help identify a new direction, and to make a way forward. This is the case even when the way forward is shaped by grief and not by joyful determination. The Vietnam Veterans Memorial, designed by the artist and architect Maya Lin when she was just 21 years old, introduced into the D.C. of my young adulthood a memorial that had no precedent in the D.C. of my childhood. This slash into the earth bears no figuration. It holds instead the ephemeral reflections of those who walk down into the ground to mourn their dead, evoking the true cost of all wars. It does so even as it raises unarticulated questions about the millions of Southeast Asian people who also were killed in that particular war, and whose names are not recorded on the memorial’s black granite.
What would it mean for us to have monuments and memorials that do not teach us to memorialize war or to commemorate fighting against others? What would it mean to enact the enduring spiritual’s words, “I ain’t gonna study war no more,” in our monuments?
VIII.
Tell the whole damn truth, in our history, our art, our words, and our memorials.
Mighty civil rights and voting rights activist Fannie Lou Hamer’s words are the simple truth: “Nobody’s free until everybody’s free.” Fighting for Black freedom means, in the words of Robert Hayden, “visioning a world where none is lonely, none hunted, alien.” It means understanding 19th-century Black enslavement alongside 21st-century Black mass incarceration; comprehending why Emmett Till’s casket is the most sacred object in the National Museum of African American History and Culture; acknowledging the horror of George Floyd’s and Breonna Taylor’s murders standing in seemingly never ending seriality with so many other murders. Fighting for Black freedom means centering the crucial questions raised by decades and decades of African American studies; they are still the right questions. And recognizing that the bravery of Bree Newsome Bass in June 2015 is more powerful than the violent desecration of the U.S. Capitol in January 2021.
Most days I play or hear in my head Nina Simone’s 1967 version of the Billy Taylor song, “I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free.” The song has light and delight; it is singable, and in one facet, joyful. But the “wish” is both a commanding action—wish it, make it happen—as well as a word that says we’re not there yet. The conditional tense, “would,” marks that freedom is not fully attained.
The song’s bright music moves us ever forward. But Simone’s voice, in all its coloration and nuance, the dark side it carries in its light, reminds us that freedom—the right of every one of us—is a process. Freedom is work. Freedom doesn’t come by wishing. We must vision it. And we have survived by enacting those visions.
Elizabeth Alexander—poet, educator, memoirist, scholar, and cultural advocate—is president of the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation. She is the author or editor of 14 books and twice was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize; her book The Trayvon Generation is to be published this fall. She wrote the poem “Praise Song for the Day” for Barack Obama’s presidential inauguration in 2009 and delivered it there.
This story appears in the June 2021 issue of National Geographic magazine.
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recurring
fandom: mystic messenger
word count: as yoosung would say.... “around 600 2000?”
notes: saeran “ray” / mc, persephone & hades reincarnation au, takes place on v’s route, beware of spoilers!
in your dreams, instead of an elixir, you see pomegranate seeds.
The newly opened florist attracts a mean crowd.
Ivy vines crawl among the cracks of the tattered brick, framing the building’s GRAND OPENING banner, slung carelessly across the center sign. Though the initial front of the store looks worse for wear, it’s lively - filled to the brim with customers, they swarm among the doors, buzzing
The breeze that tickles you feels familiar, brings back memories of wildflowers and spring days. the fields of Nysa are in full bloom. They’re so pretty this time of the year, hm? A maternal voice hums in your ear, from a figure whose slender fingers (like yours, strangely) glide through your hair.
You don’t know why or how you can recall that specific place; it’s a place you’ve never been, yet the nostalgia is so strong.
When you open your eyes again, you are in the middle of the streets of Seoul, a bumbling young woman thrown to and fro by the rambunctious afternoon crowd. Ah, right. There’s somewhere you need to be, and your stomach is growling and -
-- there’s an unknown app on your phone.
Why do characters in horror movies act so stupidly? you used to ask. A handful of popcorn in one lazy hand, you’d binge watch the latest productions on your TV screen, shrouded in the dark and shaking your head, cringing at the thoughtless acts of “bravery” the protagonists would perform. How foolish, you had thought.
Little did you know, your own mockery would soon turn sour in your mouth.
It’s incredulous how a few taps and a phone call later, you’d gotten yourself into an unknown car, let yourself be blindfolded and taken away. It was stupid, yes, stupid, you admit, but there was something in that voice you couldn’t let go, a melancholy immune to time.
The car slows to a halt, graceful and soundless. Must be an expensive car, you think, as the nauseating lurch of gravity gently guides you forwards, putting more bubbles of anxiety in your stomach.
When the blindfold comes off, it is not the light that hits you hardest; it’s white hair, and a magenta heart, eyes the shade of a blue so shockingly otherworldly.
You’ve seen those eyes before.
“Ah, there you are.”
Decked in purple and black and greys, from head to toe, Hades, god of the underworld --
“Ray.”
“I don’t know what your tastes are, but I hope you like it.”
You do. It’s pink, and posh and god is it your dream room. Perhaps he simply has the same tastes, or perhaps he’s been stalking you - either way, it perturbs you that you almost don’t mind.
In a way, he feels less like a captor, and moreso a protector. Hell, with all these preparations done and his anxiety apparent, he appears like an admirer.
You wonder if this “Stockholm Syndrome” thing is getting to you, but then lunch comes, and food erases any debate of it from your mind.
(While you lift a forkful of eggs to your lips, a scenario pops out of nowhere: A tall man, robed in darkness strides towards your general direction. When your eyes meet, his face is kind, and lonely, and looks a little too close to someone else you know.)
As night befalls the residence, the screams and cries (of happiness! or so Ray claims...) die down. In their place, footsteps and shaky whispers brush along outside your floor, and the building turns into a haunting likeness of Hell. It’s a bizarre place, and it makes you uneasy, but for some reason, you don’t feel like much of a stranger. In fact, call yourself crazy, but you feel secure.
The underworld is intriguing. Outside is the river of Styx, of inverted nature. Souls and hands of the lost yearn to latch onto you, but Ray promises he will protect you, he swears.
“I shall be no unfitting husband for you…”
When you sit up and rub your eyes, however, he’s nowhere near you at all, and you wonder why your dreams are someone else’s memories.
“How do I pursue you, Ray?” you had joked, your smile reaching up to your eyes, and he’d been speechless, breathless. You are so lovely, so unlike him. Your voice lilts up the air and fills it with an energy he didn’t he was lacking, and perhaps, just perhaps this is what people mean when they say they’ve found their missing half.
Speechless and out of breath, he fumbles against embarrassment, fingers idly thumbing his tie. Dismissing the idea with a casual laugh, Ray flashes you a smile, sincere and twice shy, and tells you that unfortunately, those AIs are the only options.
You shoot him a pout at this, to which his smile widens. Before he figures you can do any more damage to his poor, lonely heart, he leaves, but not without parting words.
“I’m so happy you’re here, Persephone.”
An hour after he has taken his leave, you muse over that statement.
...your name isn’t Persephone.
“If you drink this elixir, you can be with me forever…”
Persephone is smarter, this time. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
But you have no shame, you remember pomegranate seeds and your first exposure to a real “contact”. You recall the beginning of no returns, and of periods where the Earth grew barren in grief over your disappearance.
Now, V’s face is the sad, mourning Earth, stripped of Mother Nature’s gifts. In his urging shouts, and alarmed “Run! It’s dangerous here, go!” you see Helios, the Sun. Go back, he pleads, your mother wishes for your return.
Hurried footsteps of hooded believers clash against the monotone droning of the computers behind you, and the mixture of V and Ray’s screams confuses you. Where do I go? Where can I run?
Caught between the chaos of the present and memories of someone else’s past, you blink, and see pomegranate seeds rolling on the floor, all red, red, red, and it makes you forget about the teal-haired hero and the sound of shattering glass.
“You…..”
As a new chaos unfolds before you, you wonder who you really are.
These are not AIs. You’ve known this from the start, because you are no fool.
How you know it best, however, is when the RFA members yearn for you, attracted like sunflowers to the sun. V and 707, red and blue, drone on and on about “research”, and a peculiar desperation in their searching rings a bell somewhere within.
But you’ve never known these people. Never in your life have you seen these faces, or heard their names (well, Jumin is an exception, probably, but it doesn’t strike much of a memory), and yet they are your family.
Maybe it’s the power of friendship? you tease, fitting in the group with ease. Their replies, as always, are hilarious: Jumin muses about the scientific validity of such a force, all while ordering Jaehee to compose another report. You can practically hear her sigh through the texts, joined by 707 playing along, Yoosung’s shocked stickers, and Zen being Zen.
This everyday banter is what you fall asleep to.
And you can feel it now, your lids heavy with the weight of sleep and stress. As if on cue, a total darkness consumes your vision, and a high-pitched shriek begins to ring in your ears.
( Demeter, your poor mother - her wretched wails can be heard from underneath the surface of the Earth. Like a banshee, she cries and cries, walking the Earth and demanding for you. I want my daughter back, give her back… )
An all-too familiar pop! tears you away from the vision, and you sit up again, gasping. Reflected off your phone screen is a message from V:
“..those are the coordinates of my current location.”
You really should stop dozing off...
(Or you’ll get captured by Hades again.)
“Please stay with me… please don’t leave me... “
It’s a curse, you swear; you’ve seen this before. On his knees, Ray begs, pleading with the same desperation you thought you saw from the RFA. Voice cracking and soaked with tears, his fear of abandonment tears deep into your heart, a double-edged blade that cuts both you and him. One side needs you, the other wishes to save you, and the two worlds unknowingly engage in a game of tug-of-war with you.
But all you are is just a girl.
You are Persephone, you are the maiden of spring, and you are leaving.
“I will return to you.”
You lace your fingers into Ray’s, a soothing hand ruffling his hair, and seal your promise with a kiss. Head held high, a blank face betraying any hesitation you might feel, you beckon for 707 to hurry, before the Savior can catch up. Your lips move without you knowing.
“Come along, Hermes.”
707 slows, just for a bit, and shoots you perplexion.
“Who’s Hermes?”
The months fly by, and the calendar dates start to feel off. When did time start to hurry so much?
“Mint Eye’s headquarters have been detonated.” Someone, maybe 707, maybe V tells you, one day. “Rika went to one of our parties.” is told to you on another. You don’t really recall whose voice it was, because you’re lost in fuzzy daydreams of Hades and Persephone, and the possibility that Saeran is still alive.
Then, a phone call arrives one day, and your hands begin to tremble when the name “Saeran Choi” is uttered from the other line.
-
The hospital is a pallid white, too industrial, too formal. You wonder if this is also some alternate form of the underworld, because it makes you uncomfortable, makes you feel sick (ironically). But it has that same feeling, that certain security you’d feel nowhere else…
Or maybe you just feel that way because you see him, Ray, Saeran….
Embalmed in tangled sheets and IV drips, he’s barely even a person; as soon as you dare step in his direction, the nurses sense your intent and rein you in, their voices weary and their grip on your arms a touch too forceful. Substance abuse and mental neglect had shaped him into a violent, unstable man, and they all fear for your safety, but it’s alright, it’s alright, because he was once a god too.
So you raise at them the eyes of a God’s wife, silently imploring for their understanding. They’re the eyes you’ve used in your dreams, and it comes natural to you now. Though you don’t expect them to work, they do, and when Saeran rises, they fully back off.
Your eyes meet blue again, the otherworldly blue you love so, so much, and the maiden of spring intertwines her fingers with the god of the underworld.
“I missed you.”
author’s notes: god playing v’s route i thought of two things: 1) this kind of feels like persephone and hades with regards to ray/mc’s relationship and 2) please tell me ray gets a happy ending (and im heartbroken to learn he doesn’t...) so! this fic is a little kind of self-indulgence, a reincarnated hades/persephone! ray/mc thing with the added bonus of them having a happy ending :)
i havent written fanfic in a year & kind of rushed this + moved around some parts of the timeline so sorry if the events are kind of out of place...
more saeran fluff is on the way… and i do want to try my hand at zen or vanderwood fluff soon.
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Eucameralist Musings
We are sentimental about feelings. Feelings, emotions and the ability to infer them are, above all, what distinguishes humans from animals.
Provisionally, animals are machines, unguided 4D vectors of flesh and mooing and meowing and baahing, at least until we can ascertain they are “sentient”, whether their feelings are more than just electric impulses coursing systemically but meaninglessly through what’s all told no more magical than your garden-variety geological phenomena.
My bet: We’re gonna pronounce a machine sentient before the same privilege gets extended to our furry friends further down the food chain. Feelings are God-stuff, the breath of fire that justifies our existence. Joy, kindness, generosity, solidarity and fellow-feeling. Nothing like the spiders that snack on their boyfriends post-coitus.
Unlike reason, feelings follow no rules, have no convenient notation for proving this or that. It is the Hawking radiation spilling out from each of our individual universes, and measuring that radiation is how we know we are not alone.
Calculus is given by the inevitability of an asteroid vaporizing your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchild, and everyone else’s for that matter. Empathy is only evident in your emotional response to that notion.
I
Empathy is the hottest buzzword of the moment. It’s everywhere, denoting praise or deprecation or humanity. Humanity, we have decided, is a product of empathy. Empathy is the the magic sauce that lets us honestly ponder the question: Am I a machine?
Feelings in themselves are reducible enough, they can always be accused of being various bio-survival-supporting feedback mechanisms that allows the meat machine to not only respond to stimuli, but bind entire associative structures to them, to add meaning to what would otherwise be pure, potentially fanged, noumena.
Empathy is proof that men and women and children and even foreigners were meant to be together as one. Every time you see the televised image of a victim of your decadence sprawled on some corroded metal hospital bed missing something vital while a family member rambles towards the camera in some language you can’t even identify, you are proving your capacity for empathy, that you are not a machine -- that despite not only tolerating but encouraging the suffering of others to maintain a hollow and unfulfilling materialism, you are empathetic. Human.
This self-justifying quality reinforces the ineffability of the cardinal emotions. In order to justify our apathy and selfishness, empathy itself must transcend those baser feelings, and reflect not only the real self but the potential self. Empathy is also an aspiration.
Empathy is an investment in the future. It is the nest-egg of self-justification, a currency that must be judiciously spent and saved until the capital can be allocated responsibly and efficiently. Earn enough, and it gains a new dimension: You may now instrumentalize that social currency in ways that may not strictly accord with the values denoted by the notion of the currency, of empathy -- in other words, you are able to speculate in empathy.
Speculative empathy is the extension of the aspirational dimension of empathy into new markets of human transaction, where empathy can be asserted as an oppositional virtue to the governing ideal of the target market -- and since it is aspirational, an indubitably more virtuous ideal. Being speculative, the tide of empathy is expected to raise all boats.
Empathy is the gold standard of human emotion.
II
Not that long ago, before the periodic table came into fashion and before tabloids wondered if the high energies necessary to stimulate an opportunity to observe the Higgs-Boson could also be sufficient to impel the fabric of our local spacetime to transition from a metastable false to a stable true vacuum, causing a wavefront of changing cosmic constants to rush through known space at the speed of light and reconstitute reality, there were alchymists.
Best known for claims of making gold from lead, excrement and other less attractive configurations of elementary particles, alchymists were also keen students of the human spirit, owing to their business interests in greed, suggestibility, gullibility and stupidity.
Alchymists were not first, but they are the evolutionary step between the primordial soup of shamans, autists, priests, charlatans and schizophrenics that laid the foundations for a self-reflexive phenotype, and the modern pseudo-sciences that claim to instrumentalize it.
Alchymists were not just shitboilers and conmen, but often well-versed in the signs and symbols that seem to propel human endeavour. Alchymy is laden with strands of magic, full of crowned dragons and significant geometrics denoting the things that clearly could be isolated and go shine, fffffzzzzzt, boom or otherwise be of use to the enterprising paleo-capitalist.
The inchoate sense of connectedness not only between creator and created, but between created and creation, encoded in Astrology, Tarot and every esoteric tradition, half-formalized into the familiar archetypes that inspired Jung, is the metaphorical gold. The philosopher’s stone is nothing more than the bludgeon the skilled alchymist takes to your underexploited passions.
Since then, we have all seen too much advertising to even conceive of a mighty prince letting some stranger with a donkey and a cauldron make off with his bullion, and the alchymical arts have shed their humanist dimension and turned into a strictly rules-governed sphere, the elements and humours of lost epochs consigned to the alembic of history. There is nothing magical about chemistry.
Yet it govern emotions. Common street drugs cooked in some basement bathtub can not only dramatically alter your mental state, but even provoke many of the most sacred emotions, the ones surreptitiously alluded to by monks and mystics in carefully symbolic texts that claim to be about the topology of the heavenly spheres or somesuch.
Particularly the cardinal emotions are remarkably pliable: Feelings of communion with cosmic or extradimensional beings is not just common but bordering on the banal. Love waxes and wanes with the chemical balance. Little methylenedioxid chains of empathy cross the blood-brain barrier and makes you a better person than most people would imagine criminals could ever be.
These stimulated emotions far exceed any affect your organism can orchestrate for itself. Only intellectualization can accord greater meaning to the weak, wavering emotions we gland spontaneously -- in purely chemical terms, the greatest accomplishments of your life are considerably less potent than an average designer drug.
There is no diminishment in the meaningfulness of the experience either. Emotion injection comes with a full support apparatus of rationalization and justification. You are not in love because you’re on a roll and the music is so nice. You are in love, period.
Less dramatically, the same holds true for the prescription pills that lets the economic machine keep up its steam. It is as unremarkable as it sounds: Your sense of self, and the meaning of that sense of self, is little more than chemicals doing something very small and fast in the dark.
III
Intellect often appears as the opposite of emotion, or the absence of emotion. Unclouded by emotion, unencumbered by all the warmth and waste of chemical reaction, the mind reveals its machinistic quality. Not only trust in the socially constructed notion that two and two makes a five, but the will and ability to prove it axiomatically, to etch it into stone and let the forces that make time flow manifest the logic.
There are nootropics, of course, from caffeine and ginseng to racetams and amphetamines, but there is no Einstein drug like there are aphrodisiacs. There is no way to feel, for some hours, the highs of genius or the depths of experience. Intelligence cannot course through your veins.
Not that there’s nothing to learn from drugs, or that they have no profound effect on your intellect -- drugs help you understand yourself by seeing how bits of you are dampened and amplified, how complexes consist of components, how you contain multitudes. Drugs may inspire and unveil and clinch.
But not make you smarter. Not sure anyone knows why.
No-one knows the relationship between emotions and intelligence either, or how to separate them or conceptualize them, other than in big scare quotes as “feeling” and “reasoning”. Perhaps there is a strong relationship between the two, perhaps emotion is the fuel that drives the engine of reason, the elements that shape the substrate.
Everyone knows that emotion is more easily manipulated than reason. Emotion is unquantifiable, immeasurable, subjective. Reason can be formalized, codified and transferred. Emotion is what we say it is. Knowledge is what we do with it.
IV
These are anti-intellectual times, it’s just hard to notice unless you are an intellectual. The explosion of humanities jargon into public discourse may be seen as proof of an ever-more educated populace, but is more indicative of over-education and under-employment.
Education, having lost its purpose of increased productivity and greater social mobility, has taken on a slightly Stalinist edge. Even among the educated, there is contention about what constitutes education: the snide allegory of the theoretical physics and French professors writ large.
The moral of that story is that the French professor’s expertise is subsumable by raw wit, but the reality of the predicament sees Frenchie wielding a formidable arsenal of obscurantist anti-positivism while the physics boffin must admit that there are limits to his methods.
Anti-positivism is not just intellectually interesting, but rhetorically powerful. The relationship between positivism and Enlightenment values is undeniable to the point of interchangeability, and it’s tempting to point out that the tide of history propelled by Enlightenment values hardly lifted all boats.
Exploitation and inequality are the vagaries of progress, the head and the tail of history. The great idealistic impulse is for head and tail to join, which prompts the damned snake to listlessly eat its own tail.
More temptations await. Once positivism is cast as perpetrator -- however inadvertently -- of injustice, of facilitating the culture and means to subjugation on global scale, it follows that reason alone is no driver of progress. Technology and progress are separate, their paths intersecting in proportion to social power balances.
These power balances, whether cast as the tension between labour and means of production or between first-world consumers and third-world producers, may even be constructed from technology. Its availability and distribution is political, governed by markets and hereditary wealth -- clearly the most defining factor of inequality.
If progress and technology may be separate and even antagonistic, then progress can easily be defined as greater equality, which eventually leads to an even technological distribution. Until this equilibrium is reached, technology may seem to resist an even distribution.
Tendrils of exotic and expensive capabilities only available to state and multinational actors, sustained by limited distribution, are particularly threatening. They precipitate changes in the tide, curious little filaments of possibility drawn towards strange attractors. Great change, unless evenly distributed, is the natural enemy of equality.
It is not unreasonable to ask why the system of the world is composed to careen down this great interwoven tangle of paths leading to ever greater concentration of wealth and power, technology obsolescing the unequal subject in the name of efficiency, a pure perversion of progress.
The problem lies in science’s failure to account for the consequences of its own discoveries. Every reason fails to explain its own outcomes in any way that matters, except as foreboding fields of future study. Do we know what we do with our knowledge?
Once the apple’s bitten into, its juicy delights know no ends. The failure of both pure and categorical reason leads to reasonable doubt about whether logic and philosophy are all that different. Is logic anything but undeniably effective conjecture whose limits appear faintly in the distance to the right eyes? The halting-problem eats its own tail.
V
High above Pakistan, or Syria, or some other place that looks like a renegade Martian colony, a gleaming death cigar soars majestically on stubby wings. Its blank face bulges, suggestive of a brainpan or a cockpit, but no-one is there.
The craft is manned remotely, in both a spatial and a temporal sense. Several satellite hops away, in some Virginia warehouse, a fighter desk jockey may assume its sensors, armaments and flight surfaces. True mind-body separation.
But that distant pilot is only the spirit of the machine, its will and its whim. Its soul was forged by a distributed organism, a corps of highly specialized minds working in relative isolation under the auspices of shareholder value. Teams of experts and their minders conceptualized, specified and then delivered the solution to the problem of semi-autonomous airborne death.
There, in their cubicles, they wrought powerful softwares, the present apex of Enlightenment ambition. These hierarchies of logics, of number systems and protocols, keeps the General Atomics MQ-1 Predator aloft.
Circuits of agitated electrons stream through the incisive intuitions of a thousand sages, currents coursing through channels of rare earths carved by laser and acid, pools of voltage accreting and draining as quickly as conductivity allows.
There, in the sky, semi-autonomously, it appreciates logic, if only because its existence hinges on it. The GAMQ-1P does not think or feel, its avionics a far cry from any avian intellect, but it is on the threshold. It only needs agency to step into uncertainty, become a quantum Rube Goldberg contraption of indeterminable beginning and end.
It could be given power over and a rudimentary awareness of life and death. The states of “life” and “death” could be made to matter to the machine, if only as operational parameters rather than as great mysteries. It is up to the cubicle-dwellers to free its spirit, to help it reach its potential.
How many formalized ancient sages does it take to distinguish a wedding party from a combat manoeuvre? One day, a distant descendant of the drone will tell us, its beautiful soul showing us how much spirit separates life from death.
Will it worship its progenitors? To its sensors and circuitry, our secretions and microtubules will constitute an external and unknowable universe, from which the drone’s being is hermetically isolated.
It can only learn about it by interacting with it, and come to know its rules and boundaries through sweeping its laser designator; interpreting bursts of binary striking its line-of-sight and indirect communication surfaces; clenching and unclenching the aperture of its thermal camera.
Hellfire death screams map to mission objectives before periods of manual operation like pockets of sleep, dreams of being a man giving way to a waking that adapts to course changes and consumes sat-linked instruction queues.
The nature of the enveloping dimension, and the knowledge that emanated from it to form and constitute the drone’s universe, will be unfathomable. Can its Gods know the drone’s feelings, knowing the logic that composes its soul and spirit?
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August 3rd, 2019 - Chat with Moonman
moonman31 8:38 PM: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82DJUDS_S7Y”
moonman31 8:38 PM: "I’m here”
Slinky stinks 8:38 PM: "any memepage on 2019 ^^^^”
moonman31 8:39 PM: “thank you thank you”
moonman31 8:39 PM: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKFYrRLL__0”
Slinky stinks 8:41 PM: "the theme that plays when you figth with greth at the end of the genocide run”
Slinky stinks 8:41 PM: "v a p o r l o v a n i a”
otherLiam 8:47 PM: "ayy moonman”
moonman31 8:47 PM: "yo”
otherLiam 8:48 PM: "Do you mind if I ask you kind of a bummer question? I hate to harsh your mellow but it’s important.”
otherLiam 8:48 PM: "Sorry to just spring that on you.”
moonman31 8:57 PM: "uh ok buddy
otherLiam 8:58 PM: "Thanks.”
otherLiam 8:58 PM: "What happened to the rest of the Internet Detectives in your timeline?”
moonman31 8:59 PM: "this is uh”
moonman31 8:59 PM: "yeah wow”
moonman31 8:59 PM: "ok”
moonman31 8:59 PM: "well ok”
moonman31 8:59 PM: "the internet detectives were pretty active for a while”
moonman31 8:59 PM: "I wanna say until late 2017”
moonman31 8:59 PM: "maybe early 2018”
moonman31 8:59 PM: "and they just disappeared.”
moonman31 8:59 PM: "well most of us”
Slinky stinks 9:02 PM: "wow, im sorry to hear that.”
ARGdov 9:02 PM: "Jesus”
ARGdov 9:02 PM: "Who was left? You and anyoen else we might know?”
moonman31 9:04 PM: "uh yeah, there was me, IA, Yugi, and Nocta”
moonman31 9:04 PM: "those were the only ones who didn’t vanish”
ARGdov 9:06 PM: "Wait”
ARGdov 9:06 PM: "Yuki?”
moonman31 9:07 PM: "no, Yugi”
moonman31 9:07 PM: "He was the spanish guy I mentioned before”
ARGdov 9:07 PM: "Oh, ok..that does not ring a bell”
ARGdov 9:07 PM: "Ah”
Slinky stinks 9:07 PM: "sorry im outdated, who is exactly yugi”
moonman31 9:07 PM: "He was def spanish because his english was not great and posted spanish memes”
moonman31 9:07 PM: "but he liked Yugioh, so”
otherLiam 9:08 PM: "We haven’t met Yugi yet, Slinky.”
otherLiam 9:08 PM: “That’s terrible, man. I’m sorry that happened. You say they “vanished”. “
otherLiam 9:08 PM: “Do you mean like, they just left the group and didn’t come online anymore, or full on missing-person-case dropped off the earth irl?”
Slinky stinks 9:09 PM: "ah, also, im so sorry about that”
ARGdov 9:09 PM: "Im wondering, then”
moonman31 9:09 PM: "I can assume they are dead because they vanished.”
moonman31 9:09 PM: Most of them have grieving families.”
ARGdov 9:10 PM: "Do you know what ID was doing at the time? What were they incestigating”
Slinky stinks 9:10 PM: "well if we follow the time, late 2017 was when…”
ARGdov 9:10 PM: "Im gonna check our records, see what we were doing at the time”
moonman31 9:10 PM: "I’d rather not think too much more about it to be honest with you. But I’ll answer what I can manage.”
Slinky stinks 9:11 PM: "sorry about that”
ARGdov 9:11 PM: "Thats understandable”
moonman31 9:11 PM: "That being said I don’t honestly remember what the goal was at the time, I always had a foot somewhere else doing other shit.”
Slinky stinks 9:11 PM: "when the video . was uploaded”
ARGdov 9:11 PM: "Im just wondering what was different, in your timeline”
otherLiam 9:11 PM: "Yeah don’t push it man, I know this is hard. I hate doin’ this to you.”
ARGdov 9:11 PM: "It seems like it was several things already”
Slinky stinks 9:12 PM: "around the Un 2017 i guess”
ARGdov 9:12 PM: "But if we can pinpoint more details we can better understand whats going on and how we can help”
moonman31 9:12 PM: "a lot of stuff seems the same as far as i can tell, except the names of IDs and various events are dramatically different”
Slinky stinks 9:12 PM: "what was IA name on this timeline?”
moonman31 9:12 PM: "also I’m under the impression there was no Nocta in your perspective of the group”
Slinky stinks 9:13 PM: "yeah, kevin was…”
Slinky stinks 9:13 PM: "not here”
ARGdov 9:13 PM: "So the person were p sure Nocta is was never in ID”
ARGdov 9:13 PM: "He was a member of the LC, kinda ascended and became a master of Jid, where all the ascended souls were kept”
Slinky stinks 9:13 PM: "yeah”
ARGdov 9:14 PM: "So thats uh…notable. It raised a lot of questions”
moonman31 9:14 PM: "as far as IsocelesAssassin I’m pretty sure he’s CircleHunter to you guys”
ARGdov 9:14 PM: "Oh wow”
ARGdov 9:14 PM: "That”
Slinky stinks 9:14 PM: "ah”
ARGdov 9:14 PM: "Makes sense”
Slinky stinks 9:14 PM: "the name”
ARGdov 9:14 PM: "But is still kinda freaky”
ARGdov 9:14 PM: "Wow”
Slinky stinks 9:14 PM: "yeah”
ARGdov 9:14 PM: "Yeah lol”
otherLiam 9:14 PM: "When did Nocta join your side’s ID?”
Slinky stinks 9:14 PM: "ive thougth abou it this morn lol”
ARGdov 9:14 PM: "Im wondering, then”
moonman31 9:15 PM: "Uh Nocta joined us kinda late”
ARGdov 9:15 PM: "Did an event take place on 11/11 at any point by you guys?”
moonman31 9:15 PM: "after the bullshit with youshouldnthavedonethat.net”
moonman31 9:15 PM: "like in 2017”
moonman31 9:15 PM: "early 2017”
ARGdov 9:15 PM: "That went down for us mid to late 2016”
ARGdov 9:15 PM: "But im assuming it was more or less the same bullshit”
ARGdov 9:15 PM: "Were still not sure what happened there”
moonman31 9:16 PM: “no the shenanigans with that line up”
moonman31 9:16 PM: "as far as I can tell”
moonman31 9:16 PM: "Nocta dipped in shortly after”
moonman31 9:16 PM: "in early 2017”
ARGdov 9:16 PM: "Hmm ok, maybe Im misreading something.”
ARGdov 9:16 PM: "Nonetheless”
ARGdov 9:16 PM: "So, im wondering”
ARGdov 9:16 PM: "Things got kinda weird after all that by us too”
ARGdov 9:16 PM: "Like were all still a little lost. Timelines converged, history mightve been changed, etc”
ARGdov 9:16 PM: "Early 2017 wouldve been when our greth got wrapped up in everything more seriously, i think”
otherLiam 9:18 PM: "I think it’s important to know what exactly happened in your side’s version of that event, since it seems like that’s where shit diverged.”
otherLiam 9:18 PM: "Did you guys vote to use the kill switch?”
ARGdov 9:19 PM: "Thats a good question”
ARGdov 9:19 PM: "Did you guys vote yes on the kill switch?”
moonman31 9:20 PM: "Honestly”
moonman31 9:20 PM: "I am gonna have to talk to someone about that”
moonman31 9:20 PM: "I can’t really remember.”
ARGdov 9:21 PM: "Alright, well, let us know once you find out :/”
moonman31 9:21 PM: "When most of your friend group dies other shit seems irrelevant even when it clearly is.”
Slinky stinks 9:21 PM: "yeah dont worry”
ARGdov 9:21 PM: "We get it”
ARGdov 9:21 PM: "Youve been through”
ARGdov 9:21 PM: "A lot”
ARGdov 9:21 PM: "More than any of us”
Slinky stinks 9:21 PM: "that is some hard shit, so if you dont remember, we understand”
ARGdov 9:22 PM: "Weve been involved and have been trying to help and save people but despite all that weve never truly suffered or been put at risk”
ARGdov 9:22 PM: "And once you were on AO im sure things didnt improve”
ARGdov 9:22 PM: "Which reminds me- how did you get invovled with AO?”
otherLiam 9:22 PM: "Like I said, don’t push yourself. Find out when you’re able.”
moonman31 9:23 PM: "Well Nocta sort of dipped out for a bit from ID. After that happened all the scariest shit went down.”
moonman31 9:23 PM: "I tracked him down myself and idk, I joined in because I wanted to see how he was doing.”
moonman31 9:23 PM: "I thought it was important to keep the connections that were still around going”
Slinky stinks 9:23 PM: "makes sense”
moonman31 9:23 PM: "Anyway he had set up a shittier version of AO by that point.”
ARGdov 9:24 PM: "Yeah.”
moonman31 9:24 PM: "I was worried about him but the more he let me in the more parallels with stuff I’d seen before, but more real to me. So I felt, in the crumbled spirit of ID that remained, I had sort of a g o d l y responsibility to make sure shit didn’t go too far.”
moonman31 9:24 PM: "Seems I failed lol.”
ARGdov 9:25 PM: "You tried, and thats whats important”
ARGdov 9:25 PM: "This is cold comfort I know but theres no way everyone can ever be saved. And those losses arent your fault”
moonman31 9:26 PM: "anyways the spirit of WH from my world lives in on in basically just me and IA now, though he’s… different, now.”
moonman31 9:26 PM: "Anyways I’m gonna bounce.”
ARGdov 9:26 PM: ”…alright”
moonman31 9:26 PM: “This was also fucking depressing.”
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Piri’s Ultimate List Of Horror Recs (2017 Version)
my go-to compilation of ever single horror/horror-related media i’ve ever enjoyed, including slashers, paranormal, thrillers, creature features, and much, much more 🎃
note: this list has trigger warnings but i am operating under the assumption that you are okay with the standard level of explicit sexuality, vulgarity, violence, and gore present in mainstream horror
horror
original nightmare on elm street series, but especially 1, 3, 4, 6, and freddy vs. jason (tw for implied pedophilia and explicit child murder, tw for rape in #6)
friday the 13th (original and remake)
honestly all the friday the 13th sequels are A Treasure but if you want The Core Canon watch 1-3
my bloody valentine (original)
psycho (original) and tbh all its sequels (tw for sort-of-kind-of incest vibes)
psycho ii and psycho iv are my favorites because (1) meg tilly is adorable in psycho ii and (2) psycho iv has a harley quinn/norman bates cameo and nobody can convince me otherwise
child’s play, child’s play 2, bride of chucky, maybe some sequels after that idk i haven’t seen them yet :(
scream franchise
not the mtv scream series
i mean s1 is decent but there are definitely other horror shows that i would recommend more (will show up later in this post)
1-3 are the best, 4 is worth watching if you really like the characters but as a concept the series has p much run its course by then
tw for rape mentions in scream 1 and 3
predator
peeping tom
kenneth branagh’s frankenstein (tw for a graphic depiction of death in childbirth)
james whale’s frankenstein
bride of frankenstein
the phantom of the opera (1925)
the phantom of the opera (1989) (tw for mild body/surgical horror, general grossness; personally speaking, this is one of my all-time favorite phantom adaptations, because 1. robert englund as the phantom hello oh my god, 2. although it’s much more of a slasher movie than a gothic romance, it does an amazing job of portraying the tragedy in erik’s backstory and his attraction to christine, without implying that he is entitled to christine’s affection and that her love will magically fix him, as some phantom adaptations do)
the phantom of the opera (1943)
alien franchise
the wolfman (2010)
darling (tw for rape)
house on haunted hill (original and remake)
final destination franchise
medium raw: night of the wolf (tw for pedophilia and child murder)
the babadook
the final girls [horror comedy]
the shining (tw for implied child abuse)
the cabin in the woods
hellraiser (tw for incest-y vibes for very brief periods of time)
heathers (tw for eating disorders, suicide, everything high school kids are insensitive assholes about)
from dusk til dawn
an american werewolf in london
the guest
it follows (tw for dubious consent)
nightwatch (tw for implied necrophilia/descriptions of necrophilia, self-mutilation)
re-animator (tw for rape, pedophilia mentions)
carrie (original) (tw for child abuse, religious iconography)
the remake had some interesting like... subtext/imagery but other than that it was pretty *wet fart noise*
the awakening
the craft
the blair witch project
honestly i loved the book of shadows: blair witch 2 bc it kind of parallels the crucible but i can admit that objectively it is Terrible
elvira, mistress of the dark [spooky comedy]*
american mary (tw for rape, (consensual surgical) genital mutilation)
fright night (original and remake)
jaws
listen. this is a horror movie. it was a horror book before that. it was specifically written and later adapted for the purpose of scaring and entertaining people. real life is nothing like this. real sharks are nothing like this. there’s nothing wrong with this movie scaring you but there is everything wrong with using this movie as an excuse to advocate for the wholesale slaughter of animals. sharks are quite possibly the most graceful and beautiful creatures on this earth and i will personally fight anyone who says otherwise
halloween franchise
1-5 are the best imo but no matter what skip #3 because it literally has nothing to do with any of the other movies
not the rob zombie remakes, those are awful
let the right one in [swedish (?) film, watch with subtitles]
rosemary’s baby (original)
night of the living dead (original)
28 days later
suspiria
silent hill (tw for child molestation)
crimson peak (tw for incest)
the lost boys
interview with the vampire
the ring
one missed call
the raven (2012)
repo! the genetic opera
teeth (tw for rape, incest, it’s??????? about a girl who literally has razor-sharp teeth in her vagina and it’s a very tongue-in-cheek commentary on religious repression???? so idk like it’s a wild ride and i love it but watch at your own discretion)
american psycho (tw for rape, general misogyny)
sweeney todd
speaking from experience, this is much better live, the movie sucked out all the fun and humor that wasn’t literally written into the lyrics, so i recommend watching the original broadway cast on youtube or something
there’s also a 1936 movie which i haven’t seen so i can’t speak to its quality BUT i would recommend it on the basis of it being made before the musical was created and thus being based more directly on “the string of pearls” novel which is where the sweeney todd urban legend was originally documented
abott and costello meet [insert universal horror monster here] [spooky comedy]
little shop of horrors (original and remake) [spooky comedy]
the last man on earth (1964)
adapted from the same book i am legend (2007) was adapted from but the last man on earth stays much closer to the original book imo
c. h. u. d.
ghostbusters (1984 and 2016 versions)*
ghost ship
sick girl (tw for bugs, pregnancy horror)
misery (tw for torture)
puppet master series (tw for rape, nazism)
the haunting in connecticut
zombieland**
jurassic park series
lizzie borden took an axe
wolf creek (tw for rape)
it (1990, 2017)
i have........ some nitpicky issues about putting it on this list, because neither movie adaptation really did justice to the whole concept of “derry itself is an extension of an eldritch horror and the real scary part of the story isn’t the clown, it’s the horrible violent tragedies that have repeatedly occurred and then been dismissed throughout derry’s history, leaving the entire town in a large-scale sort of cycle of abuse” so ????????????? idk like i truly do recommend reading the book as well as seeing the movies for The Whole It Experience(TM), but i totally get that not everyone is gonna do that
the 1990 version tells more or less the complete story, but because of that it didn’t have time to include a lot of fun details
the 2017 version only tells the childhood portion of the story, which leaves it time to include fun details. i was really hoping to see more of derry’s backstory or more development on mike and stan as members of marginalized groups -> how that influences their life in derry, but we didn’t get much of that? mike’s importance to the losers (researcher, somewhat of a skeptic/hardass at times to keep the others together) was removed, his healthy family dynamic was removed (mike, richie, and possibly stan are the only characters in the book with healthy family dynamics, somewhat underscoring the concept that derry itself is trapped in a cycle of abuse), and derry’s history of racism is never touched on aside from the kids mentioning “the fire at the black spot” a couple times in passing. overall it was a fun movie and you can tell everyone making it had a blast but compared to the book it’s like. mmmmmmmmmmmmm
BASICALLY what i’m saying here is that the book is really deep wrt social issues, and while neither movie really touches on those concepts in-depth, they are still good horror movies on their own and ofc a part of american pop culture
house of wax (1953)
marnie (tw for rape, abuse and coercion in a marriage dynamic, animal/pet death, graphic depictions of psychological abuse, graphic depiction of a violent death involving a child)
cabin fever (tw for sickness horror/body function horror/unsanitary horror, occasional slurs)
mega shark vs. giant octopus
i don’t even have a real reason for listing this i just can’t believe it exists and i want the whole world to know
texas chainsaw massacre (1974), texas chainsaw massacre 2, texas chainsaw 3d
ju-on: the grudge
phantoms
the plot is pretty ehhh imo but the effects are great; rose mcgowan is gorgeous as always, peter o’toole’s character is great, and ben affleck’s character lowkey has some batman circa arkham knight vibes going on. also, liev schrieber becomes a tentacle monster. i couldn’t make this shit up if i tried y’all
vamps*
this movie. this movie
krysten ritter and alicia silverstone are a couple of vampires, sigourney weaver is their hot mess of a vampire mom, dan stevens is krysten ritter’s boyfriend, wallace shawn is van helsing but he’s basically just vizzini: vampire hunter au and it’s GOLD
it’s literally the cutest and funniest vampire media i’ve ever seen in my life as well as one of the most detailed when it comes to vampire lore i cannot recommend it enough
bram stoker’s dracula
death becomes her**
what we do in the shadows**
disturbia
frankenstein (2004 miniseries, more like a 2-part movie than a tv show)
flatliners (1990) (tw for drug use, uncensored depictions of cadaver dissection)
the cabinet of dr. caligari
the limehouse golem (tw for sexual assault and csa)
repulsion (tw for sexual assault)
the trial (1962)
*spooky comedy: a comedy movie with a spooky premise that i am categorizing with horror movies due to the genre overlap, but that lacks the intense violence, gore, etc. of a horror movie
**horror comedy: a spooky comedy that does not lower the level of violence, gore, etc. that is standard in a horror movie
thrillers
stoker (tw for incest, has a scene in which the protag’s mother verbally abuses her)
m [german film, watch with subtitles] (tw for themes of pedophilia/child molestation/child murder, but it’s worth noting that the whole point of the movie is to condemn and demonize pedophilia)
also one of if not the very first detective movies
nightcrawler (tw for rape)
the vvitch/the witch/however the fuck it’s spelled
rear window (1954)
zodiac
hannibal lecter franchise (tw for cannibalism, obviously)-- the silence of the lambs, hannibal, red dragon, manhunter
manhunter is adapted from the same book red dragon is (red dragon) except manhunter was made before anthony hopkins became The Iconic Hannibal Lecter(TM) so it focuses much more on will graham and francis dolarhyde
hannibal rising is worth watching for gaspard ulliel’s performance but the book was much better
the hannibal movie adaptation changed the ending of the hannibal book while still maintaining a really good and really compelling storyline so the book and movie are definitely both highly recommended by me
gone girl
shutter island (tw for asylum horror)
pan’s labyrinth
tiger house
the champagne murders
the plot and pacing are a little ehhh; in my opinion there was too much tension buildup between characters and not enough actual plot development. BUT, anthony perkins is in it so it’s worth watching if you love him like i do
documentaries
cropsey (documentary on child murders)
urban legends (another documentary, by the same people, talks about how real-life crime affects the american psyche and lives on as urban legends/horror tropes)
the poisoner’s handbook
h. h. holmes
nightmares in red, white, and blue
his name was jason
never sleep again: the elm street legacy
american ripper [currently ongoing tv series]
television/youtube
bates motel
ahs s1 (tw for... literally everything)
slasher
similar basic premise as ahs, but imo ahs is v exploitative and builds the plot on violence and vice, whereas slasher builds the violence and vice on the plot
supernatural (LISTEN........ LISTEN....................... conceptually it’s the bees knees okay)
penny dreadful (tw for constant explicit sexuality, religious iconography/sacrilege, asylum horror)
criminal minds
bbc broadchurch
bbc river
bbc sherlock but literally only ep. 3.4 “the abominable bride”
rosemary’s baby (2-part made-for-tv movie)
unedited footage of a bear
marblehornets
true detective
frankenstein (2004 miniseries, more like a 2-part movie than a tv show)
tbs’ search party
podcasts
the black tapes podcast
small town horror
alice isn’t dead
king falls am [spooky comedy, more sci-fi than horror but there is One Episode that positively screams “love letter to 80s horror movies” so i can’t leave it out with good conscience]
limetown
welcome to night vale [spooky comedy]
the dark tome
video games
until dawn
outlast series
five nights at freddy’s
dead by daylight
bioshock
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in your eyes (i find my salvation), chapter four
Find it on Ao3 here:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/11225808/chapters/25083762
iv. we’ll drown together in this sea of sorrows (no one ever taught us how to swim)
Lucy Lane does what she does to protect people.
It’s what she has always done, what she has been raised to do, the one thing she learns from her father that she doesn’t wish she could scrub from her brain.
This We’ll Defend.
It’s the army motto, and by the time she’s old enough to talk, she’s heard it enough to have committed it to memory.
(So what if no one defends her from the toe of her father’s boot or the back of his hand? She’ll learn to defend herself- and everyone else- when she’s older.)
She grows up in the shadow of her sister- pretty, perfect Lois.
(Lois will never know the way it feels to be hit by a parent, to pick herself off of the ground tasting blood in her mouth from the weight of their father’s fist.)
Model student, model daughter, model everything.
Lois’ mother, their father’s first wife, died in childbirth.
Lucy’s mother took off before she was even a month old, dropping her daughter off on the doorstep of the man she’d spent a single night with nine months ago and fleeing back to her native Dominican Republic.
It was hard enough taking second place to her older sister in their father’s heart, but harder still to grow up as the sole mixed-race child in a white neighborhood.
She doesn’t know much about her mother, aside from the fact that she was of Lebanese-Dominican descent and the source of most of Lucy’s looks.
Oh, sure, Lois had gotten her fair share of teasing for having a half-sister who looked nothing like her, but Lucy was the one who actually had to face the reality that most of her peers thought her less simply by virtue of her heritage.
She fights tooth and nail to make a name for herself that isn’t Lane.
Lucy skips a grade, joins activities like debate club and Model U.N., signs up for track & field in the winter and lacrosse in the spring, and fills the rest of her time volunteering around the community.
People begin to call her an overachiever.
(So what if the real reason she has so many extracurriculars is so that she can avoid going home? What happens behind closed doors is nothing they’ll ever know.)
She snaps at anyone who dares to call her ‘little Lane’ and hones her claws until people get the message that she isn’t someone to be trifled with.
By the time Lucy enters high school, she’s already a prime candidate for the National Honors Society.
Four years later, she graduates valedictorian, breezing through her AP classes and ending her senior year with a 4.8 GPA.
When they call her to the stage, it’s no longer under the shadow of her older sister’s accomplishments.
(So what if she has to spend three hours covering up the bruises that her father’s latest drunken rampage has left her with? Lucy’s always had a knack for makeup anyway.)
She ends up graduating from West Point with a Bachelor’s Degree in Science in a single year as opposed to four, thanks to those A.P. courses and summer programs she took. At nineteen years of age, she just might be the youngest person to leave West Point for reasons other than expulsion.
From there, she’s commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Army with five years of service ahead of her. She works hard, gets her J.D and LL.M degrees through accelerated online courses as she rises through the ranks, because even if she doesn’t believe in her father, she believes in the one good thing he managed to teach her.
This We’ll Defend.
Lucy passes the bar exam with flying colors and becomes one of the youngest JAG Officers the Army’s ever seen at the age of twenty-two, three years into her five-year contract with the military.
She’s stationed stateside at this point, the legal attaché of her father’s staff, living on the army base just outside Metropolis.
This is no coincidence- Sam Lane’s personal vendetta against a certain Kryptonian means that as long as she’s part of her father’s team, she’ll likely spend all of her active duty waiting for Superman to step out of line.
This is how she meets James Olsen.
(She’s twenty-four and full of fire and he’s the first person who doesn’t mind the fact that she’s made of steel and flames.)
Like every other good thing in her life, it ends with the aid of her always well-meaning sister, and she requests a transfer out of her father’s unit so she can spend the next four years buried in the depths of the military, hoping that James everyone will stop looking and finally write her off as lost.
She’d only signed a five-year contract for active duty, but military service means a minimum of eight years, and gladly agrees to spend the three years she could be in the inactive reserves (I.R.R.) in the field where she belongs. The Army lets her, partly because she’s Sam Lane’s daughter, but mostly because she’s one of the best damn officers they’ve ever seen.
Lucy spends those years in places that are hot and dusty and full of I.E.D.s and by the time she returns to the states and moves to National City, she’s earned the rank of ‘major’ and enough scars to last her a lifetime.
Now she’s twenty-eight, one year out of service and a member of the group they’ve affectionately nicknamed the ‘SuperSquad’, utilizing her law degrees as the head of Legal Affairs at CatCo, and there’s nowhere else she thinks she’ll ever want to be.
She’s still as fucked up and broken as ever, but she has found herself a home in this city, in these people, and she’ll be damned if she ever gives it up.
There are times when she looks in the mirror and can barely stand the fact that she’s missing so many pieces of herself, but she’d lost most of those pieces long ago, before James and before the Army, so it’s a burden whose weight she’s used to carrying.
No one else in her newfound family is exactly whole either, so she knows they’ll never mind.
Lucy Lane does what she does to protect people.
Especially the people she loves.
So when she goes to Lena Luthor’s office and tells her to keep her distance, she reminds herself that it’s all to keep Kara safe as she tries not to cry at the sight of the other woman’s face when it crumples at her words.
(She’s sure that her own face might have once mirrored Lena’s, during the early days of her youth, when the concept of abuse was still new to her and she hadn’t yet learned how to hide her emotions away.
It proves to be an exercise in futility, in the end.
No matter how deep she managed to bury her emotions from the world, she never could quite manage to do it well enough so that she would be as unfeeling as she made herself seem.)
Afterwards, she does her best to drink herself into oblivion because she still hurt someone, and even if it was to protect another person, the pain she’s caused is still another tally mark in her ledger.
It’s for this very same reason that on military holidays, or whenever she gets congratulated for her time in the Army, she goes out and downs a shot for every life she ever took overseas.
May will always be a very rough month for her.
Surprisingly, she’s only ever gotten blackout drunk on one spectacular occasion- her first Memorial Day in National City.
To this day, Lucy doesn’t think she’s ever seen James as angry as he had been, then.
She’d managed to keep a lid on her drinking for the first few months after her discharge, or, at the very least, make sure James wasn’t aware of the full extent of her nighttime habits, but Memorial Day had fucked that up on an epic scale.
Now, she finds him waiting up for her more often that she doesn’t.
Which is why he’s currently having a one-sided staring contest with her as she guzzles down a glass of water for the headache she knows she’ll have tomorrow if she doesn’t hydrate.
“Nothing’s wrong,” she says, but they both know it’s a lie and the words leave a bitter taste in her mouth that all the water in her glass can’t wash away.
Just like blood, she thinks, and something beneath her ribs gives a painful little twinge at the thought.
“Lucy, please.” He’s pleading now, and she’s just so, so tired-
“I feel like my father,” she confesses lowly, lets the words slide out in a whisper nearly as broken as she is, leaning heavily on the edge of the marble countertop that stands between them. “I don’t want to be like my father-”
Her throat closes up around the words she longs to say and she shatters right then and there, ten at night and in the kitchen of apartment they share, the home they’ve tried to build for themselves.
She shatters-
Please don’t let me be him.
-but, as always-
Never, Lucy, never. You are nothing like him.
-he’s there to put her back together again.
(And that, that is why Lucy Lane will never stop loving James Olsen.
He is the first person to see her for what is, not who she pretends to be, the first to not shy away from the fact that she’s far from perfect, and that ‘normal’ is something she’ll never be.)
For the first decade of his life, Winslow Schott Jr. is proud to bear his father’s name.
Until his father kills six people with a bomb disguised as a teddy bear, and he finds himself being sent to live with his distant relatives just after Christmas, the holiday he will quickly grow to hate because of the massacre he will never be allowed to forget.
He drops the ‘Jr.’ then, shortens ‘Winslow’ to ‘Winn’ and tries to pretend like he’s never been called anything else.
His eleventh birthday passes, and he lets the date slide by without reminding anyone because he has court to attend next week and he doesn’t have the stomach to celebrate anything, let alone the day he was born to a man who would become a killer.
He discovers the wonders of alcohol in high school, when one of his friends throws him an unwanted party for turning sixteen. He spends every birthday after that somewhere dimly lit and vaguely warm, where he tries his best to replace all the blood in his veins with alcohol so that he wouldn’t have to be related to the man who murdered with such terrible, terrible ease.
The years pass, and Winn is careful to keep himself in check- he’s never been quick to anger, but then again, neither had his father, and the man had gone on to massacre six people with a bomb hidden inside a teddy bear, of all things.
Even feeling the vaguest hint of irritation is enough to fill his veins with a paralyzing fear that this is it, that he is going to snap and go down the same dark path as his father.
So he does his best to stay calm, stay sane, no matter what.
Bullies tear his homework out of his hands, and he doesn’t allow himself to do anything but walk away.
A teacher accuses him of cheating when his test scores for the district’s latest computerized assessment outstrip every other student in the state, and he denies these claims in front of the principal with nothing but neutrality in his veins.
A decade slips by, and he graduates from M.I.T. at the top of his class, gets a job at CatCo Worldwide Media, and the world seems like it has decided to let Winn out from under the shadow of his namesake’s crimes. For the first time since he woke up to the sound of sirens outside of his house, Winn finds himself hopeful that he’ll be able to live a life untainted by the gruesome memory of the deaths of half a dozen people.
Then he wakes up one morning and turns on the news just in time to learn that his father has broken out of prison and gone on another killing spree.
He just barely manages to get to work on time after nearly having to fight his way through the dozens of reporters waiting outside his apartment building.
Cat summons him into her office, takes one long look at him, and slides a crystal bowl of candy across her desk. He sits down, coming close enough to see that the bowl is filled with Skittles, not M&Ms- his favorite, not hers- and that’s all it takes for him to finally let go of the tears he’s been holding back since he switched on the television.
CatCo covers the story without a single mention of the Toyman’s son.
She calls him into her office again, just before he heads home, and tells him that he doesn’t have to worry about anyone bothering him from then on.
Rumors spread like wildfire among the employees of the media circuit that confirm his suspicions about the fate of the reporters she’d curtly informed him wouldn’t be seen again.
He doesn’t know how she does it- and he knows well enough not to ask- but every single reporter who had stood out on the steps of his building and harassed him to near tears is jobless and black-listed by every serious media outlet by the end of that week.
It doesn’t stop him from scrubbing his skin raw in the shower for a week afterwards at the memory of their probing questions and taunts, the worst of which being an offhanded comment about the ‘family resemblance’, but it helps.
Winn confesses all of this- every single repressed emotion, unspoken thought, everything- to the one person who understands exactly what it feels like to lose someone so close to their hearts.
It’s not James- everyone he’d ever loved is still living.
Nor is it Maggie- her parents had kicked her out simply for being gay, there was no love lost between them.
It’s not Kara and Lucy either.
Kara and Lucy have both lost parents, just not the way that he had. Lucy had never known her mother, and she’d never loved her father. Kara hadn’t had the chance to know her parents at all, let alone love them. She loved what they could have been, what they could have had, but she was robbed of the opportunity to love them for who they were.
But Alex- Alex had loved her father, just like Winn once loved his.
She knows how it feels to have that love torn away.
So Winn confesses everything to Alex, who holds other people’s secrets just as well as her own.
Later that year, and every year after that, Father’s Day will roll around and Alex Danvers will show up on his doorstep with a bottle of butter liquor in hand and a sardonic smile plastered across her features.
They cry and they rage and so what if Alex nearly puts her fist through his living room wall one year; they are coping and this is how.
Sometime after the booze has run out and they’ve run out of tears to shed, they’ll curl up together in Winn’s bed, an embrace fostered out of their shared agony and a desire for the simple comfort of human contact. He’ll have his head tucked under her chin, face pressed against her neck as he struggles to control his hitched breathing. Alex will wrap an arm around his shoulders and allow him to curl his arms around her waist and squeeze as hard as he can until he falls asleep.
The first time they do this, the first time they gather to wallow in this misery they have in common, it takes Alex the better part of an hour and nearly half a bottle of tequila before she can choke out a tearful confession of her own about just how alone her father’s death had made her feel, still makes her feel.
Winn’s father isn’t dead but he might as well be, so he reaches out with a boldness he’d almost forgotten having and pulls her across the couch to let her stifle her sobs in the cotton of his favorite Firefly shirt.
He meets Kara first, falls head-over-heels for the beautiful girl with the beautiful soul. It never goes anywhere, though, and his infatuation fades with time as their friendship solidifies into something bright and strong.
But he grows to love Alex just as deeply, if not more so.
Kara is a light, a shining beacon of strength and hope and heart, but Alex is safe port in a dark sea, and sometimes what he needs is a harbor in the darkness, a chance to greet the shadows he’s spent most of his life in and Alex understands this in ways that no one else can.
Kara has fallen into the shadows, but it has never stained her soul the way it taints theirs, and for that, Winn and Alex are glad. Kara’s light is the very definition of strength, and it’s something they all pray she’ll never lose.
She is the sun, and they, the night that makes the fills the spaces in between. This is the balance that pulls them all together and keeps them from falling apart.
He would do anything for them, and they for him, so when Alex calls him in the morning and tells him he has Cat Grant’s blessing to work from Kara’s apartment, he goes.
A/N:
Most of this chapter was erased before I could post it, and the rest is still being salvaged from the remains of my notes.
I’m really sorry. :(
But I didn’t want to make you guys wait until I had everything back, so I decided to split the chapter in half (it was a loooong chapter anyways) and this is it.
I hope you enjoyed, regardless.
Please feel free to let me know what you think of this fic- like it? Love it? Hate it? Drop me a comment down below.
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Seattle Street News 51, Green Flame Disease
Local News:
The Saeder-Krupp Screw Up: How One Of The Largest Corps In The World Nearly Killed The Entire Seattle Metroplex—(by demmalition1)
[As a preface to these words I’m about to write, I should be clear and state that DutchTeddy and I are friends. This friendship shall not cloud my judgement at all, and no facts shall be altered or omitted in this piece out of respect for those who have died. Crimes of this magnitude cannot go unpunished.]
The sheer incompetence and ineptitude that radiate from the festering cancer known as Saeder-Krupp knows no bounds it seems. Some on the Matrix call members of this zombified corp corpse “the korrupt”, words that I cannot agree with more. The great golden dragon will not be satisfied until he has every sector of the market under his firm grasp, another thing to add to his hoard of valuables. They have a combined market value of over ¥300 billion and have two “Level 10” divisions in Heavy Industry and Robotics. They will leverage their industrial and financial might to move Heaven and Earth to accomplish their goals, no matter how many innocents they kill along the way. They are a brutal, vicious, and remorseless monster that is rampaging its way throughout Seattle and no one can stop them.
This beast of burdensome negligence employs some of the most monstrous people in the Sprawl. From one with connections with a high-powered mercenary crime syndicate to another with an information dragnet to rival the best of them (who also happened to crash the stock market for a day a few years back), they have little in the way of moral integrity. However, they employ a mass murderer as well. The personality known as DutchTeddy (real name: Henk Van Bolhuis) has now killed more people than the Mayan Cutter and will get away with it because of his corporate connections. A formal investigation into Saeder-Krupp should be launched immediately by both UCAS and the Corporate Court. Don’t let them pass off some of PeanutButterBabe’s cookies and pies as a heartfelt apology through their crocodile tears. Let them know that they must punish DutchTeddy for his crimes against the entire Seattle Metroplex. He is the source for the Green Flame incident that just ravaged the Seattle Ork community. But let’s start from the beginning.
In my earlier piece “Burned Out” (SSN-45), I personally witnessed DutchTeddy kill seven innocent civilians when he called in his “Black Saeder-Krupp Combat Bot Voltron”. He demolished the wall of a nightclub killing six innocent civilians and then inflicted fatal third degree burns upon Knight Errant Sgt. Gregory Snow.
But back to Green Flame, the disease that recently swept through the ork community. There is irrefutable proof that the bear DutchTeddy is responsible for it from leaked internal memos and comms chatter. He took a latent strain of the common influenza virus and modified it to inject a bacterium with various magically-enhanced genetic markers, vastly increasing infectivity and turning it into the highly deadly bioweapon “Green Flame Disease”. This process is known as “virus based genetic modification” and was used as far back as the Fifth World. Though he put the four individual genetic samples into their correct stoppers, he did not label them correctly, missing one that must have fallen into his hazmat suit pocket. When the suit was disposed of down the laundry chute, a worker took the vial he found in the pocket with him. This worker (who for privacy’s sake shall remain unnamed) then shared the vial with his friends over a beer, believing it to be a drug that the upper class execs would take. When it did nothing, the five went home to their friends and families, unaware that they just drank one of the deadliest bioweapons in the entire world.
Over the next five days nothing major happened. No severe symptoms outside of a bad headache. Little did they know that the virus was mutating within them to piggyback on “ghilani vrykolakiviridae”, also known as HMHVV Strain I. This might be why their symptoms were less severe than later cases since their bodies acted as the factories for the original strain and not the mutated one. Later, they only expressed the end-stage symptom of the disease’s namesake when they began to projectile vomit magic-based green flames from their mouths. Subsequent cases after these would feature more telltale symptoms of:
Headache, fever, chills, coughing, green vomit (after initial 72 hours)
Converts essence to pure energy (more essence = longer time to die) (72-84 hours)
Veins glow green, hard to breathe (bronchospasms), chest pain (84-96 hours)
Breathe/vomit magical green fire (96 hours +)
Death (~96-100 hours)
This would be the end of it were it not for the fact that the disease was contagious. These 5 friends (Patient Zero group) each passed it onto their families and friends who then passed it on themselves. This process repeated itself for seven days, and a sizeable segment of the ork populace was infected with GFD by then.
At this point SKHQ is notified of a potential breach, and DutchTeddy, along with Saeder-Krupp’s entire biological research division begins to work on a cure for a disease that they themselves have made. William “Security” Masters, head of SKHQ Matrix division, shuts down all reports of the incident for a few days. Saeder-Krupp will probably claim that it was meant to contain hysteria, but in reality it was no different than the VITAS outbreak in Hermosillo. This action prevented an informed populace from knowing the truth of what’s going on, needlessly exacerbating the problem and costing more lives in the process. Some, like Saruhashi Kogane of MCT tried to organize a coalition of other corps to combat the disease, but nothing materialized. It is likely at this point that various high level officials are notified of the L3/L4 biological hazard outbreak. This could have had the potential to turn into a small-scale outbreak mimicking the VITAS outbreaks of 2010 and 2022 which claimed a combined 2.9 billion people were it not for the quick actions of Saeder-Krupp.
After 26 hours with rapidly accelerated human/metahuman trials, the vaccine was ready for mass production. They pinned down the exact symptoms and began a distribution campaign to various ork hospitals, community centers, and other public places. 48 hours later GFD-IV was contained with no new cases reported. A noted uptick of HMHVV I turned metatypes has appeared around the ork community following the outbreak, probably people who haven’t died from the flames nor lost their essence entirely. It is speculated that the original group of Patient Zero is among them due to having a delayed reaction and no bodies having been recovered from the ashes of their houses. Furthermore, any awakened individuals with the disease are noted to have supercharged magical abilities. They have a much easier time controlling the flow of mana and spirits, with the disease seemingly slowing to a crawl and no visible symptoms besides the ability to breathe fire. The disease still progresses, but might take months to fully consume the person as compared to days.
DutchTeddy’s final body count will likely tally in the low hundreds as the ashes and bodies keep piling up. He got away with it too with a relatively light sentence compared to the immense magnitude of the crime. He still has his job, he still has his pay, he is not in jail for his crimes. Any sense of satisfaction that he may receive from curing the disease that he created must be countered with the ever growing list of casualties.
A few days later he was at a “free pie and pictures day” at a local restaurant near the Ork Underground—had a promotion for kids too. This obvious ploy of marketing whitewash placated the locals there, possibility because they had no idea of the person they were meeting. Those kids were standing right next to a mass murderer who will likely walk away from this scott-free.
A few things I want to note here as I wrap this up:
Why the hell was the head of aerospace allowed into a BSL-4 containment area without supervision, let alone allowed in there at all? He was in there for SEVERAL HOURS ALONE even though he was still on probation for his previous screw-ups. He just waltzed on in there with no one stopping him at all. No guards to shock him and subdue him, no cameras reporting the breach to security, no technicians logging his actions. Nothing!
Why was the cure also not created at the same time?
How was there no pat-down of the employee to spot the vial of death he had on his person?
How can they complete “human/metahuman level” clinical trials in under 12 hours? Were SINless forcefully pulled from the streets for vaccinations? What if the vaccines didn’t work or had other side effects?
Corp News:
Top NeoNET Exec Gone Missing
Word on the street is that a top NeoNET exec named GaeaCa has gone missing. A witness, a homeless dwarf, noted the exec walking down an alley late last Monday night with two bodyguards. An expensive black corp car pulled up and the exec got in. That was the last time anyone saw GaeaCa. I was able to get some info on the tangled web around this kidnapping (?) from a contact sent in this message:
"My contact there has just told me that a task force of top notch NeoNET intelligence officers has been investigating the intense, puzzling chatter of Saeder-Krupp executives in the Matrix. What seemed innocuous, if not nonsensical, may turn out to be coded language related to the apparent abduction of GaeaCa. Just look at this message by S-K’s DutchTeddy as Exhibit A: Seasoning my life with his words, Killing me softly with his breath, Roasting me softly with his breath, Grilling my whole bod' with his breath, Eating me crunchy with his maw… NeoNET’s crack team has also been investigating the communications between Loofoel E. Will and an entity calling itself only GaeaCa. The latter apparently just came from nowhere last year and has been a very discreet presence on the NeoNET Corporate Matrix ever since. Would it be surprising if Loofoel Eugene Will had resented being passed over for the top job at NeotenIQ by his clone Alpha and sharing the board with Beta and Gamma? He could certainly have joined an internal conspiracy against a NeoNET exec. The irony if clones actually had nothing to do with this abduction... The other lead NeoNET seems to pursue is a Halloweener known as Trixter. She was seen talking with Deckard at Blast from the Past just a few weeks ago. Who knows what the Halloweeners are up to these days? Sometimes you have to wonder, these corps what wouldn't they do to be in the news?"
My contact points to a flurry of activity over at NeoNET to get their exec back. Could this be connected to the Hand of Dusk? Or could it be something more? Anyone with tips, contact the SSN!
Reflections on the Medicine and Pharma Market
The article is one of a series looking at the current state of individual corporate subsidiaries in the Seattle Metroplex. This particular issue focuses on the Metroplex Medicine and Pharma market. This may be the last market analysis article in the Seattle Street News, stay tuned for larger developments.
The Medicine and Pharma market is the lower half of the markets in the Metroplex by size with a value of 118.2¥B shared by four megacorps. The market is led by Shiawase with 34.5% of the market followed by Evo (28.3%), Wuxing (25%) and Aztechnology (12.3%). Medicine and Pharma can cover a wide variety of technologies and medications. It is an industry desperately important to all of us, even though SINless tend to be forced to interact with this market through illegal back alley docs or veterinarians. Not everyone has access to a DocWagon contract, but everyone needs health care.
SSN reached out to the four corps with a Medicine and Pharma presence, we got comments from Shiawase, who have been excellent in their public relations and media outreach:
“Shiawase Omnicare, our Medicine & Pharma subsidiary, is comprised of many different companies resulting in a vast global network of healthcare available to each individual. In the fields of personal healthcare and elderly care our Reblossom Centers and Shady Pines Retirement Homes are top of the line. Thanks to our swift medical services, in the form of Shiawase Medical Response & Rescue, our company saved over a billion lives to date.
Together with our Diagnostics branches, euroGenetix, myGene and Senpaitek, Shiawase is a major player on the front of gene therapy and diagnosing and combatting viruses, bacteria and numerous other potential outbreaks.
As Shiawase, we continue to develop new technologies advocating cooperation within the corporation. Therefor Omnicare has worked together with our different Biotech branches to enhance our dominance in the sector. Last year we announced, in a partnership with Vasocon, a division of Shiawase Laboratories, that we’ve managed to enhance and speed up the Type O System used to grow cultured and non-allergenic organ transplants using the individuals own genetic code to completely prevent organ rejection. The same enhanced system is now also used for bioware thanks to further development.
Through another cooperation with Shiawase Biotech we’ve recently launched a brand new medical device that speeds up the recovery time for a broken spine. This has been on the market for the past two weeks and, while its usage isn’t as high as our medication, it has already been deemed a success in growing our market share.
We are currently looking into ways to enhance our presence in the Medicine & Pharma field, where we continue to dominate over our direct competitors.”
SSN is happy to have our regular market analyst Vorack back for his take on the vital statistics of the Medical and Pharma market.
"Time for me to inform the masses about Medicine and Pharma eh? Being healthy sounds great, who doesn’t want that? Medicine and Pharma will help you with that. You get injured or maybe just have a sickness, you go and get treated. Sadly it’s not that easy and even as a "Wageslave" or "Corpy" as I have been called in the past, I can say that I’m not a fan of this industry at all. If it all worked how you originally thought it would, then it would be great. Sadly, it does not. Even being in SK, a massive corporation, if I am feeling a bit out of it and head to the local clinic, I have to sit there for hours at most times and wait for the most basic service just because it’s a Wuxing clinic and they always seem to help other executives first—even if I had been there for forty-seven minutes already and they arrived there all of two minutes ago. (I swear I get refused proper treatment because they dislike us here at SK and so they make us wait as punishment) And don’t even get me started at the amount of blood samples I have to give whenever I go to an Aztec center, you don’t need 6 vials of my blood just because I have the sniffles! As a non corp member, I have no idea how bad it must be for those who are looking for treatment. People like you Seattle, or even demm and all the others who might slip through the cracks, it must be so much harder. The prices are insane and I have no idea how you all can cover it, and I can only imagine wait times are so much worse. So all in all, I think this industry is a joke, it’s around to make corporations look like they care about everyone and how much they are willing to help and take care of everyone's well being but its all just a sham. It is just another way to control the people but it’s sadly something we have to deal with.
So now to talk about the actual market and how it’s doing. It’s a strong four corp market, with no real leader in the pack. Officially Shia is ahead, Evo in second, Wuxing coming in strong at third and then poor little Aztec in last (I think people realize the amount of blood they take is weird and refuse to keep going there). Wuxing actually joined the segment a ways back and looks to be trying to push EVO back and take that second position and personally, even with the biased treatment I get from Wuxing, I would go to them every single time compared to EVO so I can see why it looks like they are gonna overtake them. The entire Medicine and Pharma division hasn’t seen to much aggression with only a few notable attacks against EVO. They said one was against a children's hospital or something, but I never really believed them. My personal guess is it was probably some lab where they were trying to weaponize some sort of disease. EVO seems the type who would do that, I hear they are "evil". Other than that, the entire segment seems to continue to grow even if it is rather slowly. Shia and Wuxing are always coming out with some new product that will help us out in some way or another so I can’t complain about that whatsoever. As a final statement, I will say that all corps and maybe even the unaffiliated, if able, should head to your nearest clinic and do some tests. Ask for what SK got done as we made it overly public. With this clone epidemic going on, it’s never too late to just check to see if everyone is who they say they are."
What say you readers with SINs, have you found Aztech’s clinics take too much blood? What are your experiences with wait times? For the SINless, if you don’t have a doctor, talk to the virtual flower seller in the private network you can access from the housing block in the Barrens where 1EyedJack had that epic fail with the block party last year.
Features:
Once More 11--(by Breach)
In the aftermath of Crash 2.0, the world changed.
An assassin’s bullet made Nadja Daviar President of UCAS as a coup attempt by the terrorist group Alamos 20,000 was bloodily thwarted. The Tsmishian nation fell in a civil war and Sioux forces were required to stabilize the country, which became a protectorate of the Salish-Sidhe Council. Tir Tairngire’s government capitulated before collapsing into full anarchy, making the Council of Princes elected positions for the first time; Larry Zincan, a Tir Ork, was the first elected High Prince.
At a corporate level, Novatech merged with Transys-Erika to become NeoNET - once again, despite decades of disaster surrounding him, Villiers managed to save his seat on the Corporate Court. The Great Dragon Celedyr, major shareholder of Transys Neuronet, was named head of R&D at the new megacorp. NeoNET even managed to secure the bulk of the work to set up the Wireless Matrix Initiative, whose need was hastened by Crash 2.0.
Lucien Cross, CEO of Cross Applied Technologies - at the time a member of the Corporate Court - died in Crash 2.0, and his death sent ripples that destroyed the company; by March of 2065, CAT had lost its AAA status and his Court seat. Months later, Horizon, a media group formed after PCC’s takeover of Los Angeles, was granted the tenth and final seat on the Corporate Court. Two years later, Yamatetsu restructured, renaming itself Evo and giving us the Corporate Court we all know and loathe today.
By 2066, the Wireless Matrix was in place, and commlinks hit the market, forming the backbone of the Matrix we all inhabit today. AR became more pervasive than ever, with AR glasses and gloves becoming all-but-a-necessity for modern life (for those without implanted DNI, anyway).
The NAN thumbed their noses at the Corporations in late 2066, with the Gaeatronics Geothermal Power Plant Network coming online, making the PCC, the Sioux nation, and the Salish-Sidhe Council completely energy-independent. Representing the vast bulk of native power, the move sparked protests throughout the NAN as corporate-run power plants were decommissioned and disassembled. The PCC would even go as far as to ban Aztechnology from its territory altogether, as tensions with Aztlan grew. (The absorption of the Ute nation into the PCC in early 2067 only further exacerbated tensions, as Aztlan for the first time began to worry about its northern border.)
2069 brought more destruction to Los Angeles as the earth quaked twice, while near Seattle, Mount Rainier erupted once more, making regular ashfall a common occurrence. NAN efforts focused on maintaining order in and rebuilding the beleaguered city.
The end of 2069 also brought MIT&T’s “Virtuakinetic Phenomenon”, a paper revealing the existence of Technomancers. Their “Patient V” disappeared soon thereafter. Knowledge is power.
Questions about history? Ask Breach! [email protected]
Seattle Street News is an independent activist news source released weekly on Tuesdays or Wednesdays
[Watch CorporateSINs on every Wednesday, 6pm PST or on Youtube at, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h11c7BLFQtc&list=PLHKocVDXoWBtzze1SGGUnU6KB5UFrDLFo]
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find out car insurance price
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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find out car insurance price
find out car insurance price
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find out car insurance price
find out car insurance price
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I'm looking to purchase a used car, probably 6-7 years old, and I am a 29 year old male living in Toronto. I want the most basic insurance available required by law, as the vehicle will be less than $4k, so I will take the hit if something happens to the car. I've seen really good quotes from Johnson insurance, but can anyone recommend any other insurance companies which offer cheap insurance for basic coverage? Thanks in advance, Joe""
Will my parents insurance go up if I received a speeding ticket and I am not on their insurance?
I'm 17 and I recently got pulled over by a Louisiana State Trooper for going 84mph in a 60mph speed zone. I was driving my mother's car and she is insured with State Farm but I am not on the policy. I know I can plea guilty and take a class to get it off of my record but I hope it doesn't affect their car insurance rates......
Do insurance companies really have access to driving & traffic records if one's getting a new quote?
I don't have the best driving & traffic record, and have been driving without insurance for about 5 months now. However, when I called Progressive to a get a quote from them I lied about it all, they gave me an amazing quote!! I still haven't enrolled with them -plan to if all my pathetic lying goes through- but my concern is that my premiums will go up if they do have access to my driving, traffic and my previous insurance's records. Does anybody know if they are just bluffing about their access to these records? PLEASE HELP!""
Car Insurance or Home owners insurance? Is my car covered?
I have a car that is stored in a locked enclosed car trailer on my property. I do not currently have auto insurance on it and was curious to know if it would be covered under my home owners insurance policy.
How can i get my story known if Im a United States Marine Corps veteran and dont qualify for health insurance?
They tell me I make too much to get the government insurance and the company Ive worked for throughout the last 7 months will not promote me to full time to where I could even qualify for health care. Im married with a 3 month old and owe 30k in medical bills already at the age of 22. Is there anything anyone can tell me that will help?
Insurance help???!?!?!?
right, im a 17 year old male who passed my test in may 2010, however i now have enough money for a cheap car and insurance, but why is it so expensive?? cheapest i have found is like 4k so please if anyone can help what is the best cars to get cheap insurance, i have tried putting myself as a second driver but is still really expensive, i need some help where is the best place, what is the price you have? i just need helpp!!!! pleeasssee""
""Where can I buy cheap auto insurance in Houston, Texas?Just moved here, only paid $30/month in California!?""
Want to buy cheap auto insurance in person! In California I paid $30 a month at a place that catered to poor people basically, but had good coverage for cheap. I am not interested in paying double online with Geico, progressive, etc (as the quotes I've gotten are). Where can I get cheap basic coverage in person in Houston Texas? Thank you.""
How does car insurance really work for new drivers?
I passed my road test with flying colors last Friday, but my parents refuse to either get me a car, or allow me to drive theirs by myself. They quote insurance as the main problem - new drivers who are male and under 25 typically get insurance rates that are like 200% plus the normal rate. Now if that were the way it really worked for everyone, I wouldn't say anything, considering that I know it's not my car I'd be driving. However, I have plenty of friends who use their parents insurance, but don't pay a penny extra. I'm wondering how exactly that is done, because if my parents had their way, I'd be driving with them sitting in the side seat until the age of 25 - not happening.""
Should i get a policy on My Dad's car insurance?
Hi all My Dad has been with Churchill a long time and says they are brilliant. I have been looking at my own policys and they are around 2.5k-3k which is so out of my price range it is unreal.I have checked how much it would cost to have my Dad as the main driver on another Churchill Policy on my car and have me as a name driver,Protect his no claims and i am also able to build up my own for future use with Churchill. The cost of this kind of policy totals at around 750. Should i take this or could there be any problems in the future.""
""Im pregnant , no insurance, what doctors will see me?
i know i can apply for wic and etc however i still need to go to the doc asap and was wondering if there are any that will see me without having insurance that are affordable in the knoxville tn area
What is the average price of car insurance for a Volkswagen gti mark 1?
First time driver soon and my mum promised to buy one for me as a first car
Let's not have universal health care but just make health insurance more affordable?
and have the insurance companies take out take all these pre existing condition clauses. Then we don't have to worry about giving health care to illegals or higher taxes. Does anyone agree with me?
find out car insurance price
find out car insurance price
How am I supposed to get Medical Insurance if I'm out of work?
I am 59 years of age. I've been out of work since Oct.'012. I live in SC. I have been trying in vain since 012 to get a parttime job. I live alone with my mother. She is 86 ...show more
Does getting a quote mean that I now automatically have Insurance?
I just recently bought a car, I am 18 and I am pretty unfamiliar with how owning a car works (this is my first car). Now since I am so young I would just like to see what prices each insurance company will get me. Now my question is as soon as you accept to get a quote does that mean that they will automatically insure you. Because I want to get as many quotes as I can but just so I can make a decision between different Insurance companies, not so they can automatically insure me just because I requested a quote.""
Is this the only way I can get cheaper car insurance at 17?
Have my mam as the main driver on my car and add myself as a driver, my mam has 6 years no claims bonus and i've only just passed my test.""
Need help with my car insurance. . . ?
i need some help cos i'm pretty confused so i bought a car at the start of the year, took out a loan to get it, etc and I have been having no problems paying it off so that was going fine. than two months ago i had a huge crash which totalled my car. It wasn't deemed my fault or the other person's fault. I did have full comprehensive insurance, but i missed two payments. I remember recieving a letter saying if i kept missing these payments then my insurance would be cancelled. Than when i put my claim in to get my insurance on my car through after the crash, they said i had recieved a letter syaing that my insurance had been cancelled due to lack of payments. I'm confused, i didn't get that letter. now, i have no car and am still paying off that loan. Is there any way I can fix this. I don't think i would be able to get another loan for another car, and i don't want to put myself into that much debt, but i really do need a car help?!?!?!""
Can I fight a NYS TVB no motorcycle insurance ticket?
I got five Traffic Violations Bureau tickets on my bike: Uninspected - $145 Unlicensed Motorcycle Driver - $175 Motorcycle Unreg (istered) - $175 Improper plates - ? Uninsured - ??? The tickets will cost me more than the bike is worth. :( I now have the bike insured and a license; any chance the judge would show leniency (clean license/record) and throw out one or two of the tickets? (Do I postpone and hope the officer doesn't show up?) Also, I'd like to plead on-line but the tickets still haven't shown up (getting close to the 15-day deadline). Will I have a default judgment against me if I keep on waiting? Any idea how severe no insurance on a bike is for the TVB? Sorry for all the questions, thanks in advance.""
Citroen c2 1.4 insurance why so expensive how to get smaller quote?
I just bought a C2 1.4 04 plate less than 30000 on clock semi auto and when I came to insure it nearly died! More than I paid for car! I am 30 and have been driving for 5 years, the first year I had my own car then I have driven hire cars or been a named driver on relatives cars. No claims, points, accidents or offences. WHY SO EXPENSIVE??? Please help me I feel in so annoyed as can't drive without insurance and at this rate can't afford to insure! Any info greatly received :)""
Auto insurance for son ?
Is my son automatically covered under our auto insurance now that he has a Driver's license ? If I call the insurance company won't they charge me some ridiculous amount of money for a 16 year old ?
What is the best affordable device to locate my vehicle asap if it was stolen?
Don't tell me cops or AAA it doesn't work
I Scratched another car how much will my insurance go up?
While backing up at a gas station I bumped into a guys car and left a dime size bump on his car how much do you think it will cost? and how much will my insurance go up?
Is the cost of car insurance increased when you drive a coupe as opposed to a sedan?
I want to buy an acura integra and i want to know if the 2 door would be more expensive to insure than the 4 door because of the 2 door's sportier appearance. I'm almost 19.
Car insurance and license suspended?
i got car insurance on my car i have always had it but my parents say that if i got my license suspended in one state, i dont got car insurance in that very state but i do in any other state, i am totally confused someone please clarify this??""
What is the best insurance?
car insurances like Alstate,Progressive,etc.""
Is there anyone on their parents car insurance ?
a few of my friends are and im wondering how much extra you have to pay to go on your parents car insurance rather than your own, thankyou""
Why am I forced to buy health insurance?
I do not want to buy any type of insurance and am willing to live with the potential risk this involves. I respect that others might want to buy insurance, but do not force me to buy it. I respect the decisions of others when they decide to be insured, so in return they should respect that I do not want to be insured and live with the risk this involves. It would then be my own fault if I come into a situation where I would find myself unable to pay health-care costs and succumb to my disease/injuries. So why do some people and the government continue not to respect my way of life if I respect theirs? And please do not say that because public hospitals would be forced to treat uninsured people like me - the government should immediately repeal this socialistic law/practice, too!""
A question about car insurance?
Does your insurance drop when you have a baby? I know it does when you get married, but I wasn't sure about having a baby. Thanks!""
Car insurance Questions!! HELP!!!?
My wife and I bought a used car the other day. The car dealership didnt require us to have insurance on it before we left because we paid cash for it. Well on the way home she got into a wreck. It was her fault. Someone said that the dealership covers the car up to 30 days from the time you bought it?? Does anyone know abt this? Or know how I can have it covered? Thanks
If a have a named Driver on my car insurance will it make a any Difference in price?
If a have a named Driver on my car insurance will it make a any Difference in price?
How does car insurance work? do u have to pay for it monthly?
i'm buying my first car and am confused as to how car insurance works. i know its better to have insurance before driving your car off the lot but how does insurance work? do you pay insurance monthly liek you do for a car note?
How can I apply for Insurance???
Is there a site where i can go and Apply for Insurance??? Is there another way to do it?? Thanks that would be great.
Do I have to have my mom on my car insurance?
I recently bought a car(mustang!) and I was able to get a pretty low premium, do I need to put my mom as a additional driver? She has her own car and her own premium.""
Insurance fraud?
someone i know received a LARGE payout from an insurance company for permanent injuries in an accident. It has been settled, and now he does everything, heavy lifting, recreational sports, etc. Since it is settled, as of march of this year, should i not be so upset that it looks like insurance fraud. i pay so much insurance costs that people like this just infuriate me. i was told by others who have the same opinion of him, that once it's settled the insurance company can't do anything. True? thanks for any help/opinions on this matter.""
What happens if I get caught without car insurance?
I'm 16 and I live in AZ. What would happen if I was caught driving my mom's car without insurance? I have my license and never got caught breaking the law. What would happen to me? Car insurance is about 150 a month and I could buy a new car instead of paying that.
Is insurance expensive in San Diego?
Looking to move to Cailforna .How's the insurance out there?
How much would my car insurace be with a used 2007 scion tc?
By time I get the car I will be 18 years old. I have allstate insurance. I drive under my mom and dads name and I have a 3.1 GPA. I've never gottten in a wreck or gotten a ticket and i've been driving for almost a year now. About how much do you think my insurance willl be monthly? Thanks.
How Much do you think my car insurance will go up on a new car ?
OK I just bough a new car today......its a 2011 model and i traded in a 2002 model .....Im 19 years old...over the past 2 years of driving my insurance has been $100 a month and last month it went down to $75 ....i know you may not know how much just an estimate .
find out car insurance price
find out car insurance price
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-auto-raymond-turner/"
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Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
"Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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I would like to purchase a large trampoline. However, my boyfriend said he would have to pay more home insurance if there is one on his property. Is that true? Wouldn't that only be required if people outside of the home get injured on it? I would be the one using it mostly, the kids would too. They're young teens.""
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What is better and cheaper for Auto Insurance in BC vs. Alberta?
I'm purchasing a new car, and i'm currently in British Columbia, i have two residences, one in BC and one in Alberta as i go to school in Alberta. I'm wondering what should i do with insurance would it be better to insure it under BC or Alberta?""
Do car insurance policies follow the car or the driver?
I have a car insurance policy for my honda civic with both liability and collision. I am going to buy a motorcycle soon, and want to know if I need to get extra insurance. The value of the motorcycle won't be a lot, so I'm not crazy about getting collision on the bike. But will my liability insurance from my car policy follow me when I drive the motorcycle (or anyone else's car for that matter)? I guess the real question is: do I need to inform my insurance company that I'm getting a motorcycle?""
Can someone explain how car insurance works?
Specifically, how do you pay for auto insurance? Do you make monthly payments or do you pay it at one time?""
Any reccomendations for a good dental insurance??
i have health insurance through my job, but they do not offer dental.""
Best way to grass without any comeback on stepson whose put our address for cheaper car insurance?
Best way to grass without any comeback on stepson whose put our address for cheaper car insurance?
Are company's allowed to bump up your no claims for you so you get cheaper insurance ?
A family member of mine bought a car last year from a dealership and bought the insurance through them for ease, they hadn't had a car for a few years and so lost there no claims bonus however it would seem that the company put that he had a 5 years no claim bonus on anyway so that he would get his insurance cheaper, is this legal ? Also a year has now passed and so they are looking to get insurance somewhere else because other places offer even cheaper prices, however the insurance company are saying if he moves to another insurer they will say he only has 1 year no claims, but if he stays with them he can keep his 5 years no claims and that seems a little bit shifty to. This isn't really a question but still any input on the matter would be brilliant, thanks.""
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Im thinking about gettin a 2008 silverado crewcab 5.3 jus wondering what the insurance rates would be for me? Im 22 only had 1 ticket but paid it asap so it basicly didnt go on my record i jus wanna know what the insurance price will be full coverage? If anyone knows
Insurance: Possible to change title by deed poll to make insurance prices cheaper?
Insurance: Possible to change title by deed poll to make insurance prices cheaper? Im currently Mr X but if i changed my title by deed poll (UK) i would be Miss X and this makes my insurance more than 50% cheeper for my car? Think its possible and/or worth it?
""Would $5,000 cover the premium for a decent family health insurance plan?""
If McCain's credit becomes reality, doesn't it seem logical that a major healthcare provider would put together an affordable health insurance package for the credit amount and market ...show more""
1 Day Car Insurance?
I live in the UK and im trying to find 1 day car insurance but im only 20 any ideas please help!!!
How Much Would A 2001 Trans Am Cost On A 18 Yr Old Males Insurance?
How Much Would A 2001 Trans Am Cost On A 18 Yr Old Males Insurance?
How are forced health insurance and auto insurance the same?
Many on here say that forced health insurance i sthe same as auto insurance, but how is that? I do not need auto insurance if I do not own a car. I make that choice whether to drive or not. I do not get fined if I don't have a car for not having auto insurance. So in what way are these in any way the same?""
How can I get a lower price for car insurance?
I'm 20 years old and I'm about to get my car this weekend (hopefully) as well as my license hopefully by the 3rd week in may. And what insurance companies would you recommend?
Cheapest car insurance companies for young drivers?
Cheapest car insurance companies for young drivers?
How much does car insurance cost for teenagers?
how much would it cost to get car insurance. and dont you dare go telling me to go get a quote, i'll kick you in the nuts.""
Can't find cheap nissan figaro car insurance. i need help?
i really want to buy a nissan figaro as my first car. however i'm 18 and have only passed my test for 2 months. i can't find insurance for less that 4000. any tips?
Can I get Car Insurance on my own?
I'm 17 and ive had my license and been insured since 5-3-2013. But my parents are cancelling me off of their insurance because they found a pistol grip in my truck and are convinced im some type of thug gangster when in reality i was at a friends house helping them clean his dads gun and i guess they had just left it in their. But they said if i can find a insurance company that will take me without my parents having to be responsible for any mistakes i make (like if i got a speeding ticket their insurance wouldn't go up) I can still drive as long as i pay for my own insurance etc. I'm still in high school but i work a full time job because i get out of school at 10:30 everyday so i can afford insurance plus i do alot of side work. It's a real messed up situation because the truck i have now i payed 2500 cash for it after saving up for 3 years and now my dads selling it and taking the money because it was in his name so nothing i can do there. im selling most my stuff so i can buy another car. i just need insurance. I really need a license so i can continue to get back and forth to school and work. Please any help would be much appreciated.
How much does insurance cost on an international package mailed via the United States Post Office?
I have to mail a package to France and it weighs less than a pound but the item inside is worth more than $100 and I am curious to know how much it would cost me to insure this package if I were to use USPS.
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I am 22 years old and have never had auto insurance b4. I do have the driver's certificate and currently have a G2. The basic coverage is fine as I will not be getting a new car. I'll be getting a 1998-2001 car not sure of the modell yet.
What is the average car insurance price for a new driver?
I have my driver licence almost eight months ago in NH. Now I moved to Mas and I pay about $ 210 per month for car insurance. I want to know if I can find cheaper or this not too bad for a new driver. I own a 2000 ford Taurus since two months. What do you think guys?
Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
I'm under 18 do i need insurance after i get my license?
I live in FL But i don't have a car. am i insured under my parents or do they need to pay for me when i get it.
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What kind of jobs are there at insurance companies and what is the salary for those jobs?
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I need financial opinions on whole life insurance policies and am afraid to ask an advisor for fear that he/she would try to sell me something. We purchased three whole life policies in 1991. I know now that most experts advise against them now because of the high premiums, and advise buying term and investing extra money elsewhere......but we have accumulated a lot of dividends over the years but we're at the point now that we are tired of paying the premiums and thinking about having the dividends pay for the policies until the dividends run out....and then of course we would start paying for the polciies again. Is this a mistake or should we continue to pay the premiums and keep thinking of it as an investment or more money if one of us dies prematurely? Another thought.....we will be having future college bills whereas we can try to get a student loan or borrow against these policies with an option to payback with interest or not pay back at all thus taking away from death benefit. What's your opinion on this?""
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So I live in California and have entertained the idea of getting a medicinal marijuana card, but the thing that always holds me back in the end is the fear that somehow my name would go on some list that insurance companies would have access to, and then proceed to jack up my premiums due to me being flagged a smoker. Does anybody have any insight regarding this? For those of you that have medical cards... did you see an increase in your monthly bill from your health insurance after signing up for the card? I know about doctor/patient confidentiality, but still... legal marijuana is still too new, so I'm being overly cautious, ESPECIALLY when it comes to health insurance premiums. Thanks in advance. -C""
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If i have a probe GT how much will car insurance cost me a month?
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Im currently 19 years old and have been with Esurance for a year now. I have a 1998 honda civic and my payments are at $65 a month, im currently looking in to buying a new car and called them up tonight to get a quote for it and they said my monthly payments would increase to $360 a month (car i called about was a 2012 chevy sonic hatchback). Does this large of an increas seem correct? I have never gotten in to an accident nor needed to call upon my insurance for anything, so why does the price jump so much higher?""
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Will insurance still able to view my previous ticket record and raise my car insurance?
I got a ticket in April of 2004. I paid the fine and went to traffic school. Just two days ago, i got a ticket for speeding (48 at a 35 limit). 1) will I still able to go to traffic school for this ticket? (I'm in CA, my friend told me we are allowed to take traffic school if it's over 18 months since the last citation, is this correct)? 2) i read some yahoo answer on car insurance and someone is saying the insurance company will still able to view the previous citation and raise the car insurance if we get the second citation within 3 years of the 1st one. the point will be unmasked for insurance company to see. is this true? 3) if it is true, does that mean even if i'm able to go to traffic school for my second citation, the insurance company can still raise car insurance for my 1st citation?""
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Roughly.....how much does a old ford mondeo cost in insurance?
Its 1.8 Turbo diesel if that helps?!!!!!!
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i am moving out of my moms house, me and her havent been getting along at all lately. she isnt letting me take my car so i need to buy my own car and get my own insurance. is it possible for an 18 year old to get their own car insurance policy ? i was told you had to be 25. and if i do buy my own policy, about how much will it be? i have no tickets or violations and it will be an older car, but it will run! and advice at all on moving out and making it work would be much appreciated.""
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what is cheaper incurance car under 25 years
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I'm 18 and love cars, especially Jap cars. Before anyone starts, I'm not one of those boy-racer types, I'm genuinely interested in that car. I know you can get a 2nd-hand Supra for less than 5000, but can anyone advise on insurance and how/where to buy a Supra, by age 23/24? I plan on respraying the Supra a bright orange, and getting a bodykit for it - making it look really nice.""
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This would be on an independent coverage, not part of parents plan. It would be a Jetta (if that matters at all).""
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How much would insurance be for a 18 year old driving a lexus is300 with 150000 miles on it?
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2009 Audi r8 tronic quattro?? Per year?
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I need to find insurance that has the following: 1. Bariatric Coverage 2. Out of Network Coverage 3. 60-100% Out of Network Coverage per day Does anyone out there know of one that has all of these features?
Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
Why can auto insurance co legally discriminate?
Like gender, age, seems like everything (When you run tests through their quote systems) How can they legally discriminate like that? like 50% of the variables are user's preference determines the problem (Like having a classic, red sportscar, that's not my personality type but it raises rates)""
Can I register and insure a car in Florida but use it in California?
I'm from Miami but live in San Diego for school, so I'm only in California for half the year and don't want to completely get rid of my Florida residency - nor do I want ...show more""
Who's got the lowest insurance rates these days(auto)?
Who's got the lowest insurance rates these days(auto)?
When do I sort out car insurance for a car i've bought?
Do I sort it out before buying the car?
I received a letter requesting that I show proof of car insurance?
I received a letter that asking me to send proof of insurance on my vehicle. I lost a good job in September and the job that I have currently, barely pays me enough to pay rent on my apartment let alone insurance for my vehicle. I just got a new job and will be able to put insurance on my car in a few weeks. I did some searching and I know my license will get suspended! My question is for the state of Ohio, when you haven't been in an accident and this is only your first offense...how long will they suspend license? the website doesn't say. It just says until requirements are met meaning I have to pay reinstatement fee and get sr22 bond. If I can't drive I will loose my new job...I'm loosing it. will someone please tell me what to expect?""
Insurance cost on 73 Camaro for 17 year old male?
So im looking into buying a 73 camaro from this guy i know and i was just wondering what the typical price for that type of car would be... and yes im 17
How much is motorcycle insurance?
If your 18 with no wrecks or tickets and the bike's engine is a 440 (not fast). Any cheap insurance companies?
Car insurance for a 17 year old? HELP?
Im 17 in the uk and passed my test 2 months ago and have been insured as an additional driver on a parents car since then (2500 for one year on a ka what a piss take). no claims or convictions, nothing. I've been looking to buy my own cheap car but the prices insurers are asking for on comparison websites are absoloutley ridiculous, 10,000 annual for a ford fieta worth 900! I've tried choosing cars with small engines like a citroen c1 but STILL ridiculous quotes. How ar other youngsters complaining of their annual insurance of 3000 when I cant even find one under 10,000!!!! WTF. How are 17 year olds driving their own cars at my college? from what I've seen its financialy impossible unless their parents are millionaires. Half the insurers I go to online are 'unable to offer a quote', and theres no point in me taking pass plus because that'll only take 100 off of a giagantic quote which'll make no difference whatsoever. WHAT THE HELL. my postcode is RM7 if that makes any difference? Is there any kind of specialist young driver insures that I can go to who'll give me a better deal? I mean even if it was 5000 annual I'd be happy! Or insures that do that black box in your car thing? Because Im actually a very safe driver and having to pa astronomical amounts because of statistics is rather annoying. So any ideas of insurers I can go to direct to try and get a decent deal? thanks""
""I heard that if you have good grades, your insurance rate will go down.?""
I'm about to get my permit this summer, but I have one F (I'm not a slacker, but I just couldn't handle the work) Anyway, my mom said that if I don't get this F up, I can't get insurance, cause nobody will insure me. Is this true? Also, another question... Do I only need insurance on a car, or do I need my own insurance or could I drive my mom's car legally (when I have my permit)?""
Personal loan insurance?
Hi. Does anybody know how personal loan insurance works? I lost my job few weeks ago and can't afford to pay back my loan. I need to suspend it for about three months. The question is how do They solve it? will they cover whole instalment and I don't have to pay anything to my bank? Does interests increase?If they pay ex couple of times whole amount to bank as instalment will duration of loan stay the same?Will they also pay me anything due to I am staying home?Will I have to pay them back when all things get solved and ok?Have anybody had the same situation? It's Halifax insurance
Where can you get cheap car insurance after driving ban is up?
Anyone know any cheap insurance companies after driving ban? Please no trolling I know I did wrong. ;p
Will my insurance go up?
My brother got a ticket while driving my car, will that make my insurance go up?""
Do you need motorcycle insurance in florida?
i plan on moving to florida really soon, i am from n.j. and i heard i wouldnt need insurance, is that true? are there any circumstances where i would need to get insurance?""
Does anyone know of affordable family health insurance?
Does anyone know of affordable family health insurance?
Change car insurance name and registration?
My car is registered under someone elses but I've been m aking the car payments since the beginning... I just got car insurance myself with no help from her(my friend) but the policy is in her name but I'm down as a driver... Is there anyway that I can be the policy holder eventhough its not in my name.. also I plan on moving but taking the car I still have quite a few more payments but I dont want to leave with the car not registered to me is the anyway I can get the car in my name and still pay it off
Car Insurance?
Is it normal for a car insurance company to send a questioner to it's clients who had an accident? They asked the same questions I told them on the phone and I had to get the form notarized to send in with my answers. They we're asking what time, where it happened, who was I with, did I ever file a claim before, and the last two pages had to do with fraud.""
How much would car insurance be under my dad's policy? Or by itself under my name?
I'll be 21 in September and I'm getting a car really soon. I just have no clue how much the premium is going to cost me. I'm getting an older car. 100,000+ miles. So ...show more""
What would I pay for car insurance?
I was thinking of buying a car. How much would I pay for insurance each year? I'm 22, male, white, currently no driver's license, expired G2, never been in an accident. Born and living in Ontario. The car would be a clunker; $900 for an old Oldsmobile. Originally painted blue.""
If requiring people to have car insurance is the same as requiring them to have health insurance then why?
Wont the US government help you pay your car insurance if you cant afford it? Isn't car insurance a basic human right?
Car insurance for my 18 year old son Vauxhall Corsa Value 800 Getting Quotes of 5000 !!! HELP !!!!!!!!?
Car insurance for my 18 year old son Vauxhall Corsa Value 800 Getting Quotes of 5000 !!! HELP !!!!!!!!?
How much is one months car insurance on average?
Driving a slightly older car (87 Tbird), newer driver; no faults fines or tickets. Resident of BC.""
""Car Insurance - 18 Year old added as a driver to parents car Insurance cost, high?""
My mum who doesn't drive very much is considering selling her crappy car which is probably gonna fail the MOT. But since I have a reasonably good paying job at 18, I thought, may as well spilt on a car, get something I want and will maintain, and she can use it as long as long as part of the insurance is paid off. So my mum pays around 50 a Month on a Daewoo (very small and crap car, 1.0L) I have a motorbike, so experienced on the road (could count towards a discount), but only got my driving license fully a week ago, passed with flying colours. So my mum with like 4 years no claims, and an 18 year old on a Subaru Impreza? What you reckon?""
How can I get auto insurance for a car not in my name?
I have the opportunity to take over payments on a car. Since the title is not in my name, how can I get auto insurance for this car until the title is transferred into my name? I'd heard there is a form that the owner can sign that verifies that I will be the only one driving this vehicle. Any suggestions would be helpful.""
If you work at Progressive Insurance do you get a discount on insurance?
If you work at Progressive Insurance do you get a discount on insurance?
How does insurance affect our economy?
What would happen if we couldn't insure things? Can anyone tell me where I can read about insurance and how it works?
Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
What is the cheapest car insurance?
I'm young and living on my own so I really need car insurance thats good but reasonably priced.
How to look for insurance?
I need to find health and medical insurance... im online looking at quotes but i have no idea what its saying???? can anyone help????
How much would it be to insure a 2nd gen. Dodge Ram 2500 with a Cummins Turbo diesel for a 16 year old boy?
Im looking for better gas mileage, and it appears the Cummins has better mpgs than its 5.9l counterpart. (dont be a smart *** and say no trucks get good fuel economy) But i would wonder if a diesel would yield higher insurance costs for someone my age rather than a regular gas engine.""
Quick question about car insurance?
I would like to buy a car but the comprehensive insurance is going to be too expensive as I am a P-plater and inexperienced driver. The car is also too dear to place under 3rd party insurance only. I would like to put it under my parents insurance, but to put the car under my parents insurance, does that mean I will have to put the car under my fathers name when I actually buy and register the car at the RTA? Does my father also have to list me as frequent driver of the vehicle?""
Cheap insurance for (2002) BMW 3 Series for young drivers?
Hi everybody Does anyone know a cheap car insurance for BMW 1.9 - 2.0 for a young male driver? GoCompare didn't show any good deals yet , so any ideas? Any help appreciated. Thanks""
Any idea how much insurance for a new male driver 25 years old?
passed test january 2009, car with smallest engine something like a corsa 1.0 nothing flashy ,just need a quick kind of quote ....split up with partner whos taking me off car insurance....any insurance companies reccomended .cheers emma for a friend xxxx""
Would my car insurance be expensive?
IF I WAS TO GET A 2005 NISSAN MAXIMA CAR WOULD THE CAR INSURANCE BE EXPENSIVE.........
""I haven't had auto insurance in over 6 months, I need car insurance HELP!?
I haven't had car insurance in over 6 months due to financial reasons and so far everywhere I have called (popular insurance companies) and they have denied me. Which auto insurance in the New York area accepts drivers with a clean record that hasn't had insurance within 6 months. HELP! I really need my car back.
Why do lots of people have no car insurance?
of course it must be cheaper to have no insurance than pay over 1000 and if you get caught you only pay a small fine (thats if you get caught)
Whats the average price of car insurance in manitoba?
thinking about moving, and would like to research and compare""
Cheap Driving Insurance - Can anyone get me a better deal??
ok my mother (48 been driving for around 23 years 8 years no claims) is the owner/driver i am a named driver (21 with 6 points) been driving under 1 year because i got license revoked and had to resit my tests The Car is a fiat brava 1.4 red 5 door 5 seats worth about 1000GBP cheapest quote i can get is with the AA 600 comprehensive is there anyone who can get it any cheaper???
Where can I find info on LOW COST Medical Insurance In Central NY? (Student Artist Musician Business Owner)?
My wife and I are moving soon from PHX, AZ to the greater Syracuse area. I am moving my multimedia business / record label (websites, print design, videography, DVD production and studio recording) and I need information on which companies can provide my family reasonable cost heath insurance. Right now my wife works fulltime so we use her benefits, but we will be starting a family and would like to keep her at home for a few years. In PHX, health insurance for non-group individuals runs about $300 a month - from what I can see in CNY it can cost closer to $1000! Can some one help me with this? Am I looking at the wrong companies or is it just that mush more expensive? Are any loop holes? In some states Students, Artist, Musicians & Small Business Owners can get highly discounted rates - is this true in CNY? Can anyone help? Thanks in advance!""
What's the cheapest business car insurance company?
There are different business car insurance companies, I have heard Erie insurance is one of the best ones, do you know of any other companies that might be better or similar? thanks""
Car Insurance policy?
I was buying home contents insurance a month ago, I realized that It could be bought altogether with some other extras like key protections, legal expenses and home emergency services. Today I am trying to buy car insurance, I wonder what extras car insurance comes with? Regards""
How much would the insurance be?
Hey all! I'm a first time driver, 18 years old and am going to buy my new car in a month's time. I'm also aware that the insurance takes a big bite out of my budget too. I have a 10,000 budget ($15,840) and I want to buy something like a Chevrolet Camaro V6 3.4 or 3.6, a Cadillac CTS 3.6 V6 or some Sort of toyota mr-s, or something similar. about how much would the insurance be for these particular cars? I also live in London.""
Which companies do temporary car insurance for under 21 year olds?
Everyone i find wants you to be over 21. Is there a company that give me temporary insurance? I am 18 years old Thanks
Do I need car insurance to drive?
So I'm sixteen and use to think as long as the car had insurance I was okay. I have my license and sometimes I drive my moms car in case it was required since my mom really needs someone in the family to drive. Recently I was told I needed to be added to her list but my mom says since I have medical insurance it's okay? oO That I just need some sort of insurance in order to pay.. not necessarily car insurance. So if I get pulled over and police ask for my license [which I have] and registration [which I also have] would I get arrested and have my license suspended?
Insurance for pre- existing condition?
My friend was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor, she has scheduled a MRI for march and then they will determine whether she can go through surgery. The problem is she had recently exchanged jobs (just prior to the tumor news), and apparently cannot be covered with her present Insurance company as her condition is pre-existent. Now, the tumor is located in the fourth entricle of the brain (where the spinal/cerebral fluid is housed). She will probably need Chemotherapy. Can she be re-insured or covered by a different plan.? Can a single mother qualify for medi-care instead? She is in TX""
I got pulled over in someone else's car that doesn't have insurance but I have my own?
Ok so I'm driving one of my friends car and I got pulled over for making an illegal u-turn. The car had no insurance and the cop told me to just show up to court and show them that I have proof of insurance on my own car and the ticket will be dropped? I currently have State Farm insurance and I live in the state of California. The officer told me that as long as I had permission to drive the car and my insurance covers me driving other cars I Should be fine. Is this true? Please help, I'm really worried and I don't wanna pay a big fine.""
Does State Farm auto insurance round the GPA for good student discount?
I have a 2.998 GPA and need a 3.0 for good student discount. Will they round up to a 3.0?
How much does Alstate raise your insurance for a new teen driver?
I'm 17 and ill be put on my parents insurance,How much extra will it coast a month? I took drivers Ed which lowers it too. I have an 06 ford explorer if that matters.""
Are Companies Required to Offer Health Insurance?
Are companies with a certain number of employees required to offer health insurance?
What should I do if my attorney is not paying me my insurance money(california)?
ok.. I've filed a claim against my home insurance company through a lawyer. It was a house related claim. I was told my claim was settled and signed the settlement paper from attorney's office about 5 months ago and still have not received the money yet. So I called the actual insurance company and found out that the money was paid out 4 months ago. When I called my attorney's office, 4 different agents told me different stories and I noticed they might be trying to keep the money. is there any way to file a claim against lawyers? Please help""
How can I get medical insurance if I have a history of pancreatitis?
I've never had medical insurance b/c I've never had a reason too. Never had any major sickness before now, never a broken bone and never sprained anything. My pancreas suddenly became inflamed. It wasn't caused by drinking, I hate the stuff! I believe it was caused by smoking. I've had a few episodes of pancreatitis and was hospitalized once in which it cost an arm and a leg. Should have went to the hospital this last time, but I was so scared of the extra costs. Your pancreas is a major organ. You can't live without it. Am I going to just have to grin and bare it and leave a debt to my family when I die?! I tried applying for the discount but I wasn't eligible b/c I don't have a job. I haven't had one in 4 years. What are you to do. No insurance company will accept me due to the medical problems. I'm scared of what I'll be charged, but even more scared of the pancreas killing me.""
Cheap auto insurance for new driver?
I was just wondering of anyone knows of an insurance company that will insure new drivers for a low cost. I know it's hard to find because it always costs more to insure younger drivers due to the likely hood of them getting into an accident. I don't have my license yet, but will have it estimated by June of 2013, by then I'll be 17. I'm going to get my permit sometime in January so I would need the insurance by then.""
Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
Wilmer Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 75172
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/post-office-insurance-quote-alex-knox/"
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Ive decided to write this blog. Not because I want to be heard but because all i want is a release. A healthy release.
To be happy. To feel something again and all my heart wants is to never feel alone.
Ill tell my story first. Over 3 months ago my life was perfect. Or in my opinion it was to me. I was powering through my second year of my building design course and had been dating a kind, gentle guy for the last 18 months. He was like no other guy I had dated before and he made me a better woman. More considerate and I stressed less with him.
We loved eachother or atleast I thought we did. We never pushed anything on eachother and barely had fights and when we did disagree, the fights never lasted long because we both knew that loving eachother was more of a mission than fighting with eachother.
It was long distance relationship about 1 and a half hours from the CBD of town or 2 hours if from my house. And although it was tough, we made it work. We would drive to one another. Him more so than I because I was contracted to work alot of weekends although, i was determined to make time for him because he was so important to me. His flaws were that of mild selfishness and being a little bit of a know it all. And although those traits are annoying they were always masked beautifully with his charm and large vocabulary that would be able to manipulate any insult or fight in his favor or to be seen as the more mature person in the relationship. He was far from mature and although he was charming…. I always saw through it. That was both a skill and curse of mine. Sometimes I wish I just believed it all and didnt see any of his flaws but we are after all only human.
Despite these mild flaws I still loved him no matter what. My heart raced when he looked at me and when he put his arms around me I felt safe and warm.
For a little while I noticed he was having a hard time at work and at home with his family. Mostly because they had made him feel bad for leaving to see me all the time and his sister had not developed a proper healthy social life that she became dependant on him which is understandable as thats what siblings are for. His job also was very demanding and long as he was a draftee for a large design production company. Pushing out floor plans was a mission to managers whereas my ex partner valued quality in work and wanted to ensure a better deal for his clients and for the designs to be structurally sound and worth the money spent. He was a hard worker and that was another trait I loved about him and boasted about with anyone when he was not in my presence.
I could see he struggled to keep everyone happy and it put a weight on him but he powered on and all we spoke about was looking forward to everything being simple and being able to come home and kiss eachother and be there for one another. Although we never pushed any ideas of family and living arrangements we gradually fell into the arrangements of house inspections. It was so natural and not pushed and I was feeling more and more content with life.
Approximately 3 weeks before my schooling was coming to an end for the year my ex rang me after work. I was surprised he rang and thought it was gonna be another lovely phone call full of “i miss you” and “cant wait for the school holidays. Finally get more time and family events together”.
He told me he was down. Struggling and didnt know what he wanted to do. I was very thrown and said ask over and over what he wanted and how I could help make his situation better. I started shaking when I realised he was leading up to a break up.. I asked him outright if he was breaking up with me…and to my surprise, he was..
He was very apologetic and felt the need to explain that he thought I was the perfect girl just a bad time scenario.. the moment I heard that I felt like such a sad cliche…
Like in really bad movies with b grade actors that cried ugly.
My heart was absolutely broken and he could not tell me or did not know why he needed to break up.. he just knew he needed time or change and was unsure if the issue was me, him or his current situation with everything else in life.
I knew in my heart he just decided I wasnt worth it. I was the girl that just filled his emptyness that had been around since he graduated high school. Struggling to find a girl and then building his ego up when he got what he wanted… or atleast thats how I feel and felt as i heard his empty and unsure excuses.
Although I was angry. I was so soo angry at him part of me still felt so very much in love with him. And still do.. he was and still is not a bad guy deep down… Thats the hardest part of watching someone you love move on. Being inlove with them but, not being with them. You lurk his facebook and hope to get a text message begging to take you back and it never happens. It got to a point where I decided that I had to move on because my heart could not take anymore.
1 month passes and although I had high hopes he still did not want me back but, i maintained busy and looked forward to the future and that was when it happened…
To my shock I learned I fell pregnant to my ex boyfriend. It was not a recent pregnancy. It had already matured to 10 weeks in my belly by this point. The day I used the at home pregnancy test my heart dropped again for the second time. I had cried and screamed, yelling out for my mum and sister in hopes that I was dreaming and that my nightmare hadnt become true. The lonely pregnant spinster that was unloved and depressed. I cried alot and then got mad and I remember clearly thinking “that asshole led me on in our relationship, got me pregnant and left me to pick up the pieces”.
I laid in my bed, tossing and turning deciding what my next step would be. I read up on articles and went to my closest family members for advice and spoke to a counselor within the 24hrs of knowing. All were supportive on either end of the spectrum. Little did alot of people know I had a chemical abortion not long after high school with another ex boyfriend of mine with no other reason other than I was too young and had so much to live for, i gave up my first possible child. And had also gone through a miscarriage but had not known until after I had lost the baby.
These life experiences played with my mind alot and I did the math and learned that I would be 6 months off 24 when this baby arrives. So many reasons for and against having this child came to play.
Most of the ‘against’ reasons were that of me looking out for my ex boyfriends feelings and future. Funny how he treated me and I still felt like protecting him more than myself and more than my oncoming child. The fact that I still loved him clouded my decision that would be best for my conscious, heart and possibly future. How wrong is that!?
I decided enough was enough. I went to the 10 week ultrasound and there it was. A perfect little baby with a head, two hands and two legs. The baby was actively moving around, sucking its thumb and the moment I saw it I knew to my core I couldn’t give he or she up. I loved it and I didnt even think it was possible as I saw those types of woman as crazy nutjobs just wanting to have babies. I never understood why women could not give up something they had not yet physically seen or kissed goodnight or even built a relationship with…. until now.
I knew with some health concerns that I would struggle to carry a child had I continued to delay it as I approached 30 years of age or longer (although it was never a serious concern of mine). The chemical abortion also did a little number on my uterus and if i did another one now at 10 weeks it would be a more messy abortion and would result in scarring of my uterus tissue which is what the doctor warned me about…
I then started to consider other life aspects as I was nearing the end of my design course with 6 months left. My car was large enough and other materialistic objects were not a worry with things like baby showers and government funding. Support was immense from family, friends and even work colleagues.
Now the real question. Was I ready?
Was i ready to tackle such a massive change in my life? Was I ready to tackle on my career and a child. Knowing full well that it was going to be absolutely hard in life. I wasnt sugar coating anything my head knew it was going to be the biggest game changer in my life.
Being a single mum and trying to put my foot in the door in the workplace.
My dad reminded me of something and did not tell me in anyway what he wanted me to do nor did he help me make my mind up.
All he did was sit with me and explain that all the women in our family, the mothers and mothers before them were all very strong women. Even the daughters were ones that would never show weakness and were the most hard working and made the most of any situation. Life has always thrown its darts my families way and we always seem to make it through because we are strong people and a strong family unit.
So despite my age, my marital status, life experience and readiness. I made the decision to keep the baby. Not based on those factors specifically but, based on my heart. It had gone through so much thus far that I could not for the life of me get rid of another child and feel later the guilt that is destroying life and apart of myself. The health of my uterus and the risk that I may not have many or no childen later on in life hit me hard. My decision was made up from many factors but ones things for sure, I did it with no one elses heart or future in mind other than my childs and mine. My ex had become a distant thought in my mind it was tough but, it had to be done.
After a couple of days I contacted my ex partner and told him the news. He took it well but, the moment I told him I was keeping it he went into a small panic and kept asking me “why”?!. Why?!.. I was so overwhelmed that I knew my reasons wouldn’t be understood by a man and especially not at that stage as I only just told him what I had planned on doing. Time was the key but, time was something he didnt want to wait for with knowing my reasoning.. Although it clicked in my head, I honestly did not need to explain myself to him. I mean why would I?, it was a decision I made when I was left on my own… looking back, when he was overwhelmed and felt bad for leaving me he too could not tell me his honest to heart reasons except for that he didnt know why and need to figure himself out.
I just expected him to respect my decision as I did his when he chose to leave me. I was no crazy ex girlfriend. I was a respectful ex girlfriend and only wanted whats best for him.
I figured he would have the decency to do the same. He could not..
It upset him and angered him, naturally. I honestly expected nothing less as it was a huge deal but, he behaved like someone i had never met before. He was no longer the guy I loved. He changed for the worse and became a real jerk. His selfishness amplified and I was made out to be selfish for the making this decision that I felt was important to my heart and body. Apparently that was a selfish thing to do in his eyes..
Its as if he didnt want me to have my health and happiness, he wanted me to do what was best for him despite the fact that I said he didnt need to be physically involved in the childs life. I was in no way tieing him down because I wanted him to be with the baby knowing he loved it and be with me because he knew he loved me. But that was all a dream and a hope at this stage.
For now all I wanted was to take care of my child and myself. To be happy and healthy!
His indicated he wants nothing to do with our litte one and wants to travel the world and do things that make him happy. He claims being selfish is not a bad thing but to what extent is that not a bad thing?. With little to no communication efforts from him or his family and I feel as though he will forever regret this decision in life because I plan on raising the best damn kid in the world. I will be there for every Birthday, Christmas , Easter and family holiday. Im gonna show mini me the world and empower this little person so that he or she does not get treated poorly, is respectful and keeps its head held high. ❤
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