#it's all fearmongering and it's SICK | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

is-the-snake-video-cute · 9 months

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I just got a juvenile mexican black kingsnake, and, against all odds, given the species, we've had trouble getting him to eat. He's not in shed (which we know because he literally just shed like a few days ago and all feeding attempts since have still been unsuccessful, though he seems hungry).

He's very active, but only at night (according to some sources I've read mbks can sometimes switch between diurnal and nocturnal behavior so I think that's probably what's going on). We've tried feeding him both at night and during the day.

Part of the problem is that he's a bit skittish, and so he often freaks out and leaves at the sight of the tongs. We've tried our best to leave him alone and make sure he has a chance to calm down and adjust, but still no dice. (We didn't start trying to feed him until a solid week after I got him. All feeding attempts have been in his enclosure).

One of my concerns is that he might not recognize the frozen thawed pinkie as food, given that the pet store we got him from only fed live to their baby snakes.

Any tips or advice for things we could try? He hasn't started to loose weight or anything yet, but he's gone twice as long without food now than I've seen recommended for an MBK his age and as a first time snake owner I'm starting to get worried.

Sorry about your problem child! It's always so stressful when a new snake doesn't want to eat.

Are you leaving the food in his enclosure for a while? It's completely fine if a snake doesn't want to eat from the tongs, and in fact probably 90% of all the kingsnakes I've ever had preferred me just putting their food down for them and then leaving the room when they were small. You can leave f/t mice in the enclosure for a few hours with no issues at all.

One upside to your situation is that there's honestly not a lot of difference between live and f/t pinkies. There's not a lot of movement going on either way, so as long as you're making sure the food is warm, he should be able to recognize it no problem.

I encourage you to think about how you can make this as easy for him as possible! You're right to try feeding when he's active (kingsnakes are active whenever they damn well please, so don't worry about the timing), but a big suggestion I have for you is to try ditching the tongs for now. If they spook him, don't use 'em - genuinely, it's gross, but it might help him if you just use your hands to sit the mouse down in his enclosure for him to find (make sure to wash your hands afterwards, obviously). There's no law that says a snake has to eat from the tongs, and drop-feeding is a lot less scary for lots of baby colubrids especially. I drop-feed most of my colubrids until they're a couple years old and gain some confidence.

You said he seems hungry, but I'm going to ask you to do a quick husbandry check-in anyway. Make sure his warm side is set to around 85 F and he's got water to drink, and ensure his enclosure feels nice and cluttered. Feeling safe will help a snake's appetite; make sure he has at least two identical hides (at least one on either side) and his enclosure doesn't feel empty. Cardboard tubes and crumpled paper towels are good, cheap clutter. It's easy to over-offer when a new snake won't eat, but also make sure you're waiting at least five days between offering - too frequent and you could spook him.

I really think that he'll probably take it for you if you ditch the tongs for now and make sure he's given plenty of time to find it left in his enclosure. Try not to worry too much - if he's not losing weight, he's okay. There's fearmongering articles out there that say baby kingsnakes can only go a week without food before they start to starve; that's nonsense. I've spoken about my buddy Ed on here before, he's also an MBK and he was seriously sick when I got him, he was just a couple months old and he still went months without eating before he got really sick (he's fine now and a phenomenal eater, don't worry!). No healthy snake is going to starve themselves, especially if you're taking care to ensure your husbandry is appropriate.

#not a rating #kingsnakes #pet snake advice #snake feeding

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sirfrogsworth · 7 months

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So... I feel like the left-handed metaphor is a good tool for talking about trans folks.

But also... I am kinda sick of the left-handed metaphor.

It's a bit simplistic. It's overused as a gotcha. And it isn't a perfect metaphor because I don't think there is a huge increase in people identifying as trans because they are more accepted. I think it has more to do with easily accessible information.

Personally, I feel acceptance of being trans has seriously regressed since this fearmongering began. And people weren't learning that left-handedness was a thing all of a sudden. They just weren't smacked with a ruler anymore. It was purely a shift in acceptance, rather than a shift in available lefy info.

I also think people overstate the increase in trans identification. They talk about percentages like "a 3200% increase!" or whatever, but there are still only about 40,000 young people diagnosed with gender dysphoria every year. A lot of those "percentages" lump in all queer identities. And while a more reasonable estimate of a 200% increase might sound like a lot, that would still only be going from 20K to 40K young people. A better metric would be to show the percentage of all young people that are trans.

We've gone from 0.027% to 0.054% of 0-17 year old trans identifying people. From that perspective, the 200% increase seems rather quaint.

(I don't remember the time scale and a gender dysphoria diagnosis is not a super accurate census of young trans folks, but I am too tired to look all of that up. Hopefully you understand the point I'm trying to make.)

I don't really have a better metaphor to replace left-handedness. And it is still a great tool for trans 101 explanations. But I think it would be better to fight against the narrative that there is this huge increase in trans folks. Anti-trans folks are trying to make it seem like every kid in public school is trans now. They want the trans population to seem much bigger and scarier. And in reality, they want them to be the smallest group possible so they can't fight back.

Most people I know don't even have a single trans person in their life. And many others don't even know a trans person at all. It's definitely more than it used to be but way less than the scaremongering portrays.

This narrative is used to make it seem like every sports event has trans people competing and every school has 8 trans teachers and millions of kids are getting puberty blockers and genital surgeries.

But the NCAA has 130,000 women athletes. Estimates say about 100 are trans. Most schools have 0 trans teachers. Only about 1500 young people are put on blockers each year. And only a handful of 15-17 year olds have had any bottom surgery in like, all of history.

The trans population is just big enough to be horribly discriminated against by bigots, and just small enough to be nearly powerless to defend themselves without serious help from allies.

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olderthannetfic · 11 months

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*Siiiiiiiiiiigh*

Guys, can we make a promise and stop being freaking fearmongers and conspiracy theorists or something? Because this is tiring as fuck.

With the most recent AO3/OTW news about a resignation, now a lot of people are demanding to know WHY she resignated, because "they don't even put it was for 'personal reasons', they're hiding something????" and a lot of people in the comments of the new on AO3 are linking her resignation with the shit about EndOTWRacism or whatever, with things like "OTW PROMISED to ADD THIS years ago and they didn't do it SO OF COURSE they're just a bunch of liars and racists".

As far as I know, considering something ain't promising. And saying that "we're developing something to make a better user experience" isn't also a promise, especially because it doesn't mention A DATE. But correct me on this if I'm wrong about this, I really can't recall if they PROMISED any kind of thing about the supposed racism "on OTW/AO3", with that exact 8 letter word.

And of course, besides this EndOTWRacism we have the "AI thing" and it's just tiring. Now they're linking the two thinks. I'm also TIRED of blocking and muting unreasonable stupid people on the Archive that are just to conspiranoic to be alive. Is incredible how my Tumblr dashboard has had more NUANCE with this shit that on AO3 itself. Like hell, even on Reddit there has been more nuance. (Can we blame Twitter for this one too?)

What a rough months to be a Board member and/or an OTW/AO3 volunteer for sure. Keep going, guys.

I will say, for those of you who don't follow all the boring news posts closely, many Board members drop out early, including me. The Board job isn't something people usually especially want; it's a grenade that someone eventually gets talked into jumping on. The minute a crucial personal life thing comes up, people bail.

I have no idea about the current resignation, but in my case, my dying mother wanted me to babysit her unmanageable dog so she could go to Italy the exact same week as the Board retreat.

It's probably something like that. Or an ultimatum from a spouse that they want weekends again. Or a sick child. Or grad school.

It's probably not anything interesting or anything actually to do with OTW.

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tibli · 26 days

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i think we, as in american citizens specifically, have been fighting so hard for the legalization of marijuana that the culture around it has started treating it as though its a 'harmless' drug, when it most certainly is not.

like i need you all to understand that thc is PSYCHOACTIVE, and weed can cause long-lasting issues with brain function when used frequently. also, inhaling the smoke of any plant is gonna be bad for you— marijuana still puts tar in your lungs, because thats just a byproduct of burning plants.

i see a lot of posts that downplay how much it can impact people negatively, and i'm kind of sick of stoner culture treating it like it can't hurt you at all. Sure, it's not meth or tobacco or whatever, but its not harmless, either.

this isnt me trying to fearmonger btw— marijuana usage does have its benefits, and i don't think it should banned. but i ALSO think people need to be more informed about what exactly theyre putting in their bodies

#just be aware of what youre getting into okay?#thats all #tibtalks

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sonosvegliato · 2 months

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Do you have an idea of when the third installment of To and Athlete Dying Young will be released? I need to know what day I need to put on my calendar because I've reread the second fic so many times and still each time I reread it it makes me feel sick to my stomach in the best way possible, but this is the first time I've actively sought out your Tumblr to learn more about your fics and you and I'm so excited for the third installment I've constantly been stimming for the past three hours ;o;

Ahahahahahaaaaaaaaa I am no longer hands deep into it I am full body in the cement. I am descending through the earth's crust. I am doing research on paintball for you. Please be safe when keeping with the Topeka potato tradition, the midwest is a scary place and sometimes we get dumped there for thanksgiving because our not-dad's butler says you gotta get outta the house but the himbo you recruited as your manservant won't let you plot revenge while he's still got the chickens to feed and your dumb not-brother has betrayed you by setting the human papershredder on you in the middle of a Steak and Shake like the utter audacity---

This will all make sense in approximately a few months. I've rewritten this thing so many times it has its own Google doc. Its own. I've written every fanfiction I've ever written for every fandom on one gigantic Google Doc but early though the laurel grows gets its own google doc because it thinks it's a special baby that deserves 209 pages of which 170 of them are me throwing them into the virtual incinerator and laughing at the confetti that comes out.

I'm so honored you looked for more on my Tumblr! I don't use it too much except to reblog fic rec lists, but occasionally I'll put some deleted scenes up that I know won't be used...maybe I'll start posting some of the 170 pages I chewed up and spat out and made into the Mona Lisa because I am LEONARDO DA VINCI over here dawg

I am continually working on early though the laurel grows, the last installment of To an Athlete Dying Young, but she is looking to be a hefty girl in more ways than one and as I am ripping apart her insides with my bare teeth and rearranging her within my jaws I don't want to start posting chapters when it's likely they'll change.

I'm so honored people are waiting for this? I've been writing To an Athlete Dying Young pretty much nonstop for over a year now, and I only want to share the best with you! Unfortunately I don't have a calendar date, but the work is moving and moving very fast. I'll give more updates (and more deleted scenes, there are a LOT) as I get closer to the finish!

A deleted scene dialogue as a treat:

“You’re remarkably clear-headed about this,” Bullock says, almost appreciatively.

“Well,” Tim remarks, knocking his temple with his knuckles. “Helps that it’s attached.”

Bullock’s mouth pulls. It’s gone as soon as Tim notices it. “Do you know of any reason someone might have a grudge against your guardian Bruce Wayne?”

Besides the fact that he runs around as Gotham’s number one fearmonger and some criminals run just at the mention of him? Besides the fact that his son/current enemy number one came undead and now has some sort of blood vendetta against him? Besides the fact that Bruce Wayne is the Batman, and vice versa?

“Beats me,” Tim says.

#batman fanfiction #my fic #ruining my sleep schedule now #so I can ruin all y'alls later #tim drake #riding the bull full of crap

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whump-card · 8 months

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Sunless Lives Part 20: I Can’t Kill You

The Arc 2 finale! Woooo!!!

~2750 words

CW: vampire whump, discussion of suicide, medical setting, needles, IV

First, Previous, Next, Masterlist

~~~

Matthew's coworkers were stretching their breaks long, talking to each other in low voices. It started at lunchtime. Matthew noticed, but didn’t care; he figured it was some new cruelty the humans were politically inflicting on each other that meant nothing to him. He had better things to think about. Like Simon.

Simon had withdrawn from the world since telling Matthew about Bowers. He no longer wanted to go out, and he gave up looking for a new job. But he was still glued to Matthew the entire time they were home together, so by the vampire’s measure things were going well. Simon was less distracted this way. He had more energy for Matthew.

Maybe Matthew missed it, just a little bit. The way Simon’s face would light up when they went somewhere new. How delighted he’d be when something genuinely piqued Matthew’s interest too. They way he’d be so grateful that Matthew came with him in the first place - Simon still had trouble some days leaving the apartment by himself, after all.

No matter. Simon was hopelessly devoted to Matthew, and that was all the vampire needed.

Right?

Matthew felt something a little uncomfortable stirring in his gut, and it followed him on his way home. Maybe he should take Simon out. Give him a reason to spruce up a little, and to smile. Seeing him smile was almost as good as seeing him cry - maybe it was time for a change of pace.

When he arrived home he was perplexed to see Simon crouched in front of their undersized TV, watching some cable news show.

“Matthew, did you hear?” Simon turned to look at him, his wide eyes and hollow cheeks reflecting the blue of the screen.

“Hear what?” Matthew’s hand hovered at the key rack, still holding his keys. Something in Simon’s voice stilled him. Something was different.

“There’s…” Simon swallowed. “There’s a cure, Matthew. For vampires.”

~~~

They spent the day watching the news. It talked about the VIU’s research, read wordy excerpts from press releases, reworded and re-reworded them, speculated, celebrated, fearmongered. How was this cure arrived at? Would vampires become a thing of the past? Would this cause vampires to lash out? Would this lead people to believe being turned was no big deal now?

Simon’s eyes flicked back and forth between the television and Matthew, nervous and hopeful and terrified. Matthew ignored him and remained impassive, stone-faced, refusing to show any sign that his world was being turned upside down.

He called out sick from work for the week, and they kept watching.

Next came the announcement that captured vampires were being cured, and were successfully returning to their human selves. The VIU kept them in custody for their own safety, of course.

Eventually they had to admit to the suicides.

Over half of the ex-vampires couldn’t reckon with the horrors they had committed while turned, and attempted to take their own lives. The VIU quickly announced plans for massive rehabilitation systems and facilities, to ensure that the cured were not a threat to themselves or others, and would be able to reintegrate back into society - someday. How long this rehabilitation process would take was unclear.

The first interview with an ex-vampire was aired worldwide. She wept with shame.

Simon and Matthew barely spoke to each other for five days. They lived in a nest of blankets and takeout containers on the couch, eyes glued to the TV, drinking in every drop of information. Single injection. Could be weaponized. Number of active vampires dropping. Manufacturing rights granted to the EU. Crates shipped to the third world.

Then: Walk-in clinics opened in major cities. Vampires protected from arrest if they submit themselves to treatment and rehabilitation.

Simon’s eyes shone.

~~~

Simon waited another day. Just to see what Matthew would do. He couldn’t quite read Matthew’s reaction to the whole situation. While on the one hand, he was sitting right alongside Simon, absorbing every ounce of the apprehension, the speculation, the joy; on the other hand, he remained emotionless. Silent. He hadn’t even fed from or fucked Simon the whole week. He was utterly unreadable.

Simon waited, gathering his courage. He finally muted the TV during an ad break - even the most important development of the last half-century couldn’t escape monetization, after all.

“Matthew,” he started, his voice fried from disuse, “You know I would never force you to do anything you don’t want to do, right?”

Matthew glanced at him from where he slouched amongst the blankets and throw pillows, and skipped pointing out the fact that Simon was incapable of forcing him to do anything.

“Right.”

“I would just like you to… think about taking the cure.”

“What for.” Matthew didn’t sound argumentative, or curious, just… neutral.

“Well,” Simon sat up straighter, clearly about to launch into some prepared points, “I know how much you like convenience. Our lives aren’t very convenient right now. We live with a lot of risk. You could be captured. We could be discovered, and forced to move, you’d have to find a new job. And the only jobs that don’t ask questions are pretty shit, which means we can only afford this tiny place - it’s nothing like your old apartment, right? If you were human again, you wouldn’t have to worry about any of that, we wouldn’t have to live in hiding, you could have a real job, maybe even work for the VIU again, and have a nice place to live, go out in the sun…”

“Sounds like most ex-vampires are pretty miserable,” Matthew observed, watching animated cereal dance across the television with glazed eyes.

“But that’s because they’ve done terrible things!” Simon said, getting a little excited, “And you haven’t, you’ve never hurt anyone except other vampires, I kept you from having to hurt or kill any humans.”

“That’s true.”

“Just think about it - your life was pretty good as a human, and I think you could get most, or maybe all of it back! But if you stay a vampire… All sorts of things could go wrong, like I said. And then there’s me, I mean… What if someone takes me away from you? Or what if you accidentally kill me? You’d have to find a new blood source, you’d have to hurt innocent people, and then you would be miserable if you were captured and forcefully cured.”

Matthew’s hands had balled into fists while Simon talked.

“You think I could kill you?” he asked quietly, still staring at the TV.

“Not on purpose!” Simon assured him, “Never on purpose. But I know you’ve seen it happen on the job. And we had that… close call.”

The news was back. Matthew plucked the remote out of Simon’s hand.

“I’ll think about it,” he said, and turned the volume back up.

~~~

“Simon, wake up.”

Simon sucked in a breath, coming out of his slumber to an unusual silence. The television wasn’t on. He emerged from his blanket cocoon on the couch, and saw Matthew standing over him. The sky outside the window was dark, and Matthew was dressed to go out.

“What -”

“Get your coat and boots on, we’re going out.”

Simon obeyed the order, scrambling to his feet and rushing to put on his winter things.

“Where are we going?” he asked, hoping against hope.

Matthew stared at him evenly.

“The clinic.”

~~~

The clinic would have been an unassuming building if it weren’t for the armed police officers outside. Two flanked the door, and one sat at a folding table to the side with a few boxes on it. They watched Matthew and Simon approach, crossing the slush-covered street, hand-in-hand. The officer at the table stood and waved them over.

“Here for the cure?” he asked.

“I am,” Matthew stated, “He’s human.”

“We’ll need to verify that. Take off your gloves and hold out a finger.”

Simon and Matthew complied as the officer took two testing kits out of a box. He pricked their fingers and pressed drops of blood onto respective testing strips. Once he had a clear positive and negative, he pulled two brightly-colored tags on lanyards out of another box, one red and one blue, and handed them to Matthew and Simon respectively.

“Put these on and don’t take them off,” he warned. “You can go in now.” He grabbed the mic on his shoulder and spoke into it. “One vampire and a human companion, entering now.”

Matthew and Simon put on the tags and entered the building, passing between the officers on guard.

“No turning back now,” Simon said nervously, taking Matthew’s hand and squeezing it. The vampire rolled his eyes. He could take those guys.

Inside, they found themselves in a waiting room with a reception desk. Behind the desk sat a round-faced woman in pink scrubs. Another armed police officer watched them from the opposite corner. There was a door to the left, and one behind the desk as well.

“Hello!” The woman was remarkably warm for someone speaking to a vampire at four AM. “I just need you two to fill out some forms and take a seat, we’ll be ready for you in just a minute.” She set two pens and two clipboards full of forms on the reception desk.

Simon lifted his blue tag.

“I’m not…”

“There’s a form for you too, hun,” she interrupted him.

They picked up the clipboards, Simon with some hesitation, and took a seat. Neither of them spoke as they filled out their information. Simon huffed a little and made long strikes down the ‘no’ column on later pages. Matthew’s form was significantly shorter.

When Simon returned the forms to the woman she thanked him and disappeared through the door behind desk. She returned with a different clipboard just as he was sitting back down, calling them over.

“Simon, Matthew, we’re ready for you now. Follow me.”

They followed her through the door to the left, and it led to a hallway lined with numbered doors. The police officer fell in step behind them.

“I’m Tammy, and that’s Officer Thomas,” the woman introduced herself as they walked, “And no one is going to separate you two, alright? You stay together the whole time.”

Simon smiled up at Matthew, relieved. Matthew glanced at him, but his impassiveness endured.

“You’re right here, in room number five.” Tammy opened a door for them. They stepped into what looked like a large but typical examination room with a sink and cabinets in one corner, except instead of an examination table there was a full hospital bed flanked by two chairs and an IV stand.

“Take a seat wherever you like,” Tammy said, “I just need to ask some questions that you already answered on the forms - I know it’s repetitive, but it is what it is, we’ll get through it together, alright?” Her good attitude was infectious - to Simon, anyway. He and Matthew sat in each of the chairs. The officer squared his shoulders by the door.

“Matthew - you understand that you must submit to both treatment here and at a rehabilitation facility in order to not be taken into custody by the VIU?” Tammy read from her clipboard.

Matthew nodded.

“I understand.”

“Do you understand the risks to your mental health once the cure takes effect, that you may experience anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, PTSD, et cetera?”

“I understand.”

“Good. Simon,” She turned her gaze on him, “Are you willing to talk to me alone in another room?”

Simon shook his head quickly.

“No thank you.”

“Alright.” She made a final mark on the clipboard and set it down before pulling a hospital gown patterned with sunflowers out of a cabinet drawer.

“Matthew, you can change into this and lie down on the bed, and Dr. Rhodes will be with you shortly. Don’t forget to put your lanyard back on.” She set the gown on the end of the bed. “Officer Thomas will be right outside if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Simon couldn’t help but smile at her, “Thank you so much.”

She smiled back, betraying nothing. A true professional.

“You’re welcome, hun.” She pulled the curtain around the door and left.

Matthew stripped quickly, piling his winter coat and clothes onto the chair. Simon bounced in his seat, unable to contain his excitement. But he stilled when Matthew laid down on the bed, frowning slightly at the ceiling and fiddling with his red tag.

“Hey…” he scooted the chair closer, “Are you really okay with this?”

Matthew didn't look at him.

“Can I see your hand?” he asked.

“Mhm.” Simon unquestioningly held out his left hand, and Matthew took it and pressed Simon’s palm to his lips. Inhaled deeply. Then he finally looked at Simon. His eyes were dark and determined.

“One last taste?” he proposed.

Simon nodded without hesitation.

“Of course.”

Matthew tilted Simon’s hand and made a single, tiny pinprick with one fang on Simon’s palm. Then he pressed his lips back to it, swirling his tongue around the puncture. Simon watched him, in awe of his restraint. It struck that Matthew was dying, again, in a way; complicated emotions flooded his gut and he had to blink, hard. This vampire had protected him. Scared him. Taken care of him. Hurt him. Made him feel loved. Almost killed him.

“I’ll miss you,” he whispered.

Matthew lifted Simon’s hand from his mouth and curled it closed around the cut. He pushed it back towards Simon, who took it and held it to his chest like a precious gift.

“Thank you,” Matthew whispered back.

They were both startled by a knock on the door.

“C-come in!” Simon stammered, hiding his hand in his coat pocket.

They heard the door open and a young man in a white doctor’s coat stepped around the curtain, followed by Officer Thomas.

“I’m Dr Rhodes,” the new man introduced himself, shaking each of their hands in turn - Simon thanked God Matthew had just bit his left hand, not his right. “I’ll be overseeing your treatment here, Matthew.”

Matthew nodded, and the doctor continued.

“The cure can be painful, so we’ll be giving you a general anesthesia first, then the cure injection. You should wake up after four hours as…” he spread his hands, “A human! There will be some temporary effects from the cure, such as nausea, muscle aches, and fatigue, but they should fade within a couple days, and we’ll give you meds for the nausea. There will also be some lasting effects from the vampirism. Your teeth will remain as they are, unless you choose to file them down - we have a list of practices that are offering that if you’re interested. You may suffer from anemia, and sensitivity to sunlight. And it varies from person to person but we’ve been seeing some lingering… attachment to those you may have preybonded with. Any questions?”

“Let’s just get this over with,” Matthew said flatly.

“Sounds good to me!” Dr Rhodes forced out a nervous laugh. There was a knock on the door and he jumped a little.

“Oh, right on time!”

Tammy entered, wheeling a small cart with an IV bag and a capped syringe on it. She and the doctor both donned gloves, and Dr Rhodes approached Matthew slowly with the IV.

“I’m going to start this now, and it will knock you out,” he said, hanging it on the stand, “I need you to stay calm and take deep breaths.”

Matthew took a controlled breath, but suddenly twisted his head to the side.

“Simon-!” He reached out.

Simon grabbed his hand and clutched it, the hot blood on his palm pressing against Matthew’s skin. They locked eyes.

“It’s okay,” Simon soothed, “It’s going to be okay.” He found tears welling up in his eyes. “Just take deep breaths Matthew, it’ll be over soon.”

Matthew kept his eyes trained on Simon as the doctor inserted the IV and started it, scanning every inch of his human’s scared, hopeful face. His jaw flexed and clenched and he squeezed Simon’s hand so hard that the human gasped.

“I love you,” Matthew breathed.

“I love you,” Simon’s voice cracked as he put every ounce of feeling into his words.

Matthew stared at him until he couldn’t, until the darkness overtook his vision and his jaw went slack. Even then he clung to Simon’s hand like a lifeline, needing to hold onto him just a little longer, just a little longer.

Just a little longer.

~~~

First, Previous, Next, Masterlist

Taglist: @flowersarefreetherapy, @pigeonwhumps, @sunshiline-writes, @seasaltandcopper

#whump #whump fic #whump writing #sunless lives #sunless lives arc 2 #vampire whump #cw discussion of suicide #cw medical setting #cw needles #cw IV #my writing

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stepfordgoth · 8 months

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Guys there's a new covid variant. And it's super scary . No for real this time guys, this time it's totally serious and catastrophic! Why are you laughing? Guys for real, seriously, you gotta take this one seriously. Come on. Please bro. This isn't like all the other ones that ended up being not actually a big deal and more fearmongering than anything bro this one is super duper serious you have to take it seriously and be scared and not leave your house bro. Bro. Please. It's real this time I swear bro. This one will get you sick even if you're vaccinated! Bro please come on.

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horce-divorce · 3 months

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i'm so over this delta 8 shit. like yeah it's better than not having anything but it's not weed and it's not doing the same thing. i miss weed so much. d8 makes me cough so bad, it's weak as hell even when it's really good stuff, and it seemingly has 0 cbd compounds unless you buy the more expensive, cbd added/"live resin" type stuff. it doesn't help my pain at all, and its so much more expensive than weed no matter how you slice it. plus we always need more of it bc it's so weak. those 1g carts from Michigan were lasting Bel and I about 3 days each between the two of us. we go through a whole 2g cart of d8 in that amount of time or less. it's ridiculous.

and the thing is, when i lived here before, yeah, i had like 3 or 4 weedguys i could rotate between to get real stuff anyway. not so anymore. i've been gone for almost 4 years and they've really been cracking down on drugs around here in the interim. it's given the d8 market a massive foothold, but it's seriously been impossible to find a regular weedguy. every time we've almost found a lead, we start hearing about raids or the guy goes MIA. we'd basically either have to drive to the border ourselves at this point, or just cave and use the d8 that's available locally. and we're broke, so we've been doing the latter, obviously lol

weed has been keeping me off a feeding tube for years. my doctors in michigan told me outright to keep using it because they didn't want to prescribe me opioids. and then i move back to the only state in this whole area where weed is still illegal lmao. d8 has been keeping me off a tube lately, but tbqh i don't think it will continue to. my MALS attacks have been getting more frequent (which makes my POTS a lot worse), I'm eating less again, and even when i do manage to eat, it takes so much out of me and is still so painful, I usually end up having to sleep afterwards. i'm losing so much of my day just for having the audacity to feed myself and it's making me depressed again. i'm even on an antidepressant this time!!! it's also helping a little bit with the pain, but not enough to matter in the long run. i'm still gonna end up on a tube at this rate.

i'm also just sick of living in wisconsin so that makes me cranky, too. i love who i live with, being with my boyfriend and my roommate is great, but i've spent like 16 years living in wisconsin against my will already and somehow I KEEP fucking ending up back here, always against my will, and it's always pissed me off, but now it ALSO has the audacity to be the one (1) state in the whole area that won't let me have the one medication all my doctors have agreed is saving my life. every other state touching us, on every single side, has weed. canada has weed. 24 fucking states have legalized it. but no, wisconsin has to stick it's heels in the mud and keep that boot on our necks at ANY cost, especially over a change that would benefit literally everyone and increase revenue overall. i fucking hate it here.

america as a whole needs to get it's head out of it's ass about pain management. not just cannabis, but opioids and any other alternatives, too. but of course, the cruelty is the point. they want us to be suffering. they want to torture us. they want us to be stuck in ineffective health management loops until we die. more profit for insurance companies and hospitals, less "handouts" needed back, less conscientious objectors and protestors and political dissidents to be bothersome, less noisy disabled voices calling for justice in the world.

i am determined to keep trying to manage my MALS for as long as I can without getting surgery and, hopefully, without being on opioids (not because I buy into the fearmongering, but because of how strict the rules are about being prescribed them, about the lists you end up on, the random piss tests, and all the other bureaucratic crap that comes along with it). and if we end up staying here long-term, then yeah I will be doing everything i can to try and get weed legalized here to.

but i'm just pissed. and tired. i'm sick of having to fight for my stupid little life from every single facet, like, i'm fighting for my life and kicking screaming throwing up etc and it barely even amounts to a squeak in the grand scheme of things.

welp. too bad. i'm surviving out of spite. oh, i don't matter? cool, then it won't matter if I stay alive a bit longer and keep taking those pithy handouts, i guess! thanks! 🤪

#me #prsnl #weed t #disability stuff #MALS

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