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thehappiestgolucky · 2 years

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Allow me for a moment, to ramble to myself about Hornet and Tiso in the Vigilante Tiso au. It’s been on brain and I wanna ramble it out.

It’s not a secret that at the start Tiso became a guardian figure to baby Hornet - initially from the request Herrah had - and later from his own free will. They bonded. They did become close.

But it’s also no secret that a divide happened. At some point Hornet even forgets she ever considered Tiso a guardian nor that they were close. She viewed his efforts as futile and draining - in spite of the hypocrisy it was. Her duty was to protect the kingdom - imposed to her upon birth afterall. His was self-inflicted.

Something caused the divide. Something started making Hornet distance herself and force her to forget it. That’s what I’ve been thinking about lately. What caused the distance?

The biggest incident I feel - is when Hornet loses Herrah. The infection is reaching such a horrific peak - that Tiso is more and more occupied. He barely has time for anyone else. The Dreamers finally take their place and Hollow is locked in the Black Egg. Hornet loses her mother at such a young age and is in desperate need of comfort, of safety, of a supportive figure. Tiso was not there. The one this child had called a guardian angel was not there during her most vulnerable hour.

The other instances - I feel are PK and WL induced. No one was privy to who Herrah had entrusted as a second guardian to Hornet. At some point through baby Hornets own mannerisms - they deduce that the Vigilante has some sort of influence on her. A bad incfluence on royalty, that needed to grow up to protect their kingdom. It’s not big what they did, with the limited time they had, but it was seeds of doubt that were left for an emotionally hurt Hornet to dwell and fester on when the time came. They weren’t planning on it to emotionally devastate her - let’s not get it wrong. They simply wanted Horent to not be badly influenced - feeling like since the Vigilante was known for also messing with the Pale Rulers, they’d be trying to sabotage other kingdoms too. They wanted Hornet to understand that as a royal she had certain duties that a Vigilante would never understand. They didn’t know the attatchment. They didn’t even know fully if it was the Vigilante. Personally, this is one of the least bad things they’ve done, if anything it’s actually understandable why they’d want to try and distance a baby Hornet from influences that might cause disorder for both their kingdom - and Deepnest. Of course they were wrong as Herrah delibrately chose Tiso.

But oh did it end up causing a tear. A still growing and hurt Hornet was left to fester on it, that when Tiso eventually tried to get back into looking after her - especially now Herrah was gone - she snapped.

Hornet as she is now doesn’t remember the incident - choosing to bury those memories along with others in a very unhealthy manner to forget this traitor that abandoned her. Not fully anyway. She remembers, when she thinks about it, there was shouting from her, but the details are blurred. It’s ingrained more in Tiso’s mind than hers.

But she did snap. She was a small bundle of emotions and pain. She had just lost her mother. She had been allowed to think and think and think to the point of running in circles and convincing herself of the worst possibilities. She was still young. It hurt Tiso. It did. Even after as he tried to mend things she avoided him, until eventually he stopped trying, needing to once again focus on other things. But he always kept an eye on her. Simply at a distance. He never blamed Hornet.

Now I’ve rambled about how much they got divided and how ouchy it is yes - but remember this is still me and they are still absolutely found fam. They do mend their relationship. One of the biggest factors I feel - is the sign of hope that Ghost brings. You’ve got two bugs going through it - both going through the futile effort of trying to protect what’s left as the Infection begins to slowly creep back up again. Hornet didn’t bond with the vessels that Tiso had rescued thus far. She was trying to spare them their fate - whilst he was trying to allow them a chance at a normal life they were denied. Ghost became the only other sibling besides Hollow that Hornet had bonded with. Ghost also bonded and got very attatched to Tiso. Ghost brought a hope with them that the two probably never thought could exist anymore. Hope allows for change.

So you’ve got these two that have a strained relationship now close to the same person. You’ve got Hornet being slapped in the face with the fact all her siblings consider Tiso a father - Ghost doubly is not subtle about this fact. You’ve got Hornet now recalling the things Tiso did for her all the way back when she was a tiny feral baby.

But she’s still hurt. He still wasn’t there when she lost her mother. She still had those festering thoughts about a Vigilante that she has trouble distancing Tiso from.

What I’m saying is this time she deserves to vent. Vent without pushing him away but instead letting him stay and listen. And this time her staying when she’s done and hearing his side. She’s only a teen, but she’s learned to listen. Trauma does things to your growth.

Both their hurts are valid. Which is why they both deserve to talk it out healthily to one another. Post game naturally - as they’re occupied beforehand. It doesn’t fix things immediatly, naturally it doesn’t. That’s not how it works. But it’s a big step in the right direction. There’s no more buried hurt they’re festering over - they both know how they’ve hurt the other. They’ve both apologised. Which means they both can start moving in the better direction of mending and improving their relationship. Hornet takes ages before she considers Tiso a sort of guardian again - and being forced to be her own guardian also made it take a while. But she can’t deny it - it is nice when she does think it a couple of times. It’s like remembering the nicer times in a dark place. It’s just nice for her to slowly have a family again, to be allowed to be a child, a sister, in a family.

Their relationship was rocky, and its one of the reasons why I think about it sometimes. It’s had many ups and downs thanks to circumstances and emotionally charged decisions but at the end of the day they still are family. They still end up getting better and choosing to be a father and daughter after everything they’ve been through.

*holds gently, sobbing* You don’t understand I just fucking love the found family trope and it gives me emotions-

#happy screms #vigilante tiso #ehhh don’t feel like yeeting this in the main tags #yeehaw me completely and unapologetically using me headcanons throughout this au and ramble?#i say- as i think to myself no one wants to hear this shit-#i just. god found fam. it’s gives me so many feels #it’s the best troupe i will fight over this #it’s the choosing to be a family through any hardships and actively mending it for the better for me-#relationships aren’t perfect! shit happens! hornet and tiso had their whole lives fucked over!#hornet lost her mum as a kid! tiso had just basically lost both his dads around that time too!#they were both hurting so fucking much and it naturally had a knock on effect #*holds head in hands* god fucking dammit why does this au do these things to my brainnnnn hhhhhhhhhhhh #happy rambles

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sonyajake · 5 years

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Of Being in an Interfaith Marriage

I was brought up as a Hindu and I still am one, for all practical purposes. My husband was brought up as a Christian but I am not sure how much of a Christian he is now. Joining a Christian family in marriage brought along a lot of apprehensions in my mind. What would be expected of me? Am I supposed to go to the church on Sundays? Am I expected to join in the daily prayers? Am I allowed to still worship my own deities in the house? Turns out, much was expected from me but they were ok if I didn’t do any of it either. The whole family comes together only once or twice a year. So while we are together, I try to live up to the etiquettes expected of me.

So in effect, my life hasn’t changed much owing to my interfaith marriage. I pray to my Hindu Gods and say a Hail Mary every day after my bath. I go to a temple on occasions and visit a church on rarer occasions (which was the case earlier too). I celebrate Onam and Christmas with equal élan as it was before my marriage. And I call to my Lord as “bhagavaane” or “karthaave” like I always did. Don’t let all that fool you into thinking that all is hunky dory after an interfaith marriage.

A lot had changed for me on a personal level. I identified myself as a Hindu earlier, but lots of people just assumed that I have converted to Christianity because of my marriage. Although I do not face any issues in Mumbai, temples in Kerala, mostly stipulate that non Hindus be denied entry. I am a Hindu by my interpretation but I have not stepped into a Hindu temple in Kerala since my marriage for fear of being chastised for entry. I wear a cross on my thali (mangalsutra), which is too tiny to be detected but makes me feel vulnerable to scrutiny. Maybe I am paranoid and should catch the bull by its horns and face the consequences, if any.

Another issue I have faced is my comfort level with my “maiden family”. There used to be a closeness and camaraderie in my interactions with my extended family and cousins, which took a downward plunge after my marriage. But I believe that has more to do with the fact that I went against my family to get married to a man they didn’t approve of. I am neither invited nor expected to attend family events on my side because it always involves some religious event to go along. I wouldn’t say I was surprised by this, as I was forewarned by my parents on the perils of marrying outside the community. I had accepted my fate with a pinch of salt. While I gave up on the comforts of my family, I have been fortunate enough to be welcomed with open hands and hearts into my “new family”. In fact I have grown closer to my sisters-in-law than I ever was with my own sister. My mother-in-law seems to enjoy talking more with me than her own son owing to common interests like cooking, crafts and flowers. The extended family on my husband’s side is literally quite extended with more than 20 cousins and none of them have made me feel like I don’t belong.

In an alternate reality, I would have had lived a sequestered life in a marriage arranged by my family with societal norms prescribing my attire, my weekend plans and even my social media activity (an assumption made on the basis of observing my extended families’ and cousins’ lives). So in the balance sheet of life I presume I have ‘’broken even’’ or maybe even started making profits.

When our daughter was born, it was assumed that she would be baptized since her father is a Christian. A lot of arguments ensued, but my husband was adamant that we do not want to label our kids’ in any religious way. We even named them religion neutral (Alithea meaning truth; and Zaraiah meaning blooming flower). We decided to give them the freedom to choose their religious beliefs once they are old enough to do so. This doesn’t mean that they are living a life with no God or prayers. We have a framed picture of Krishna with a rosary wrapped around it that acts as our guardian angel. My kids know that their parents follow Krishna and Christ and they are free to follow either, both, neither or any other God of their choice. We believe in making religion a personal matter that needn’t be of any significance in their social, professional or married lives. Our brief but very enjoyable stint in China helped us further this thought.

They say love is blind. But it doesn’t make one apathetic or emotionally blind. I learnt this lesson the hard way when I got married to the love of my life, all by myself. While people reminisce their marriage with awe, love and unbridled joy, I remember the endless tears, being all alone in a stranger’s house the day before my wedding and the fact that I walked down the aisle without my parents to bless me. The presence of my elder sister, my brother-in-law and two cousins on my wedding ameliorated my distress a bit. I married a non-Hindu against my parents’ wishes and no matter how much time has passed, the pain of abandonment doesn’t subside. I am guessing it is mutual too for my parents as they might still be feeling cheated by my decision to go against them despite all the comforts they provided me throughout life. Could I have done things differently? Maybe. Maybe not. But I will always regret hurting my parents for my own happiness. I do not know how my future would have been if I broke up with my husband (then boyfriend) for my parents’ sake. Maybe I would have lived in the guilt of cheating on my boyfriend for the rest of my life or maybe I would have moved on. But it would have been just as bad as my current predicament of feeling constant guilt of having disappointed my parents.

Apart from the occasional phone calls, it took two years for my parents to actually meet my husband. It has been 7 years since that awkward meeting and still the relationship resembles a broken twine mended with a clumsy knot. Kids have enabled the smoothening of our relation; but for all to be well it will take time and effort. All through this, my husband has stood by me as a stoic pillar of strength. He has never picked up a fight with me about our religious beliefs. He vehemently opposed suggestions that I should convert to Christianity before marriage. He was most vociferous about not baptizing the kids. He has never pushed me even once to mold myself into an ideal Kanjirappally achayan’s wife (except for upping my ante in non-veg cooking).

Family is a good source of motivation and support when the dynamics in the family is genial. However, any bloat in the stability of familial relationships can lead to bad blood and even the simplest banter would feel like pointed accusations. Unresolved tension between family members can turn ugly in no time, leaving you wounded beyond repair. A mended relationship may not be a smooth one but would save you the heartache of not having your family in your lives for the rest of your time in the world. I strive to be a mender for the sake of my peace of mind and a congenial environment for my family.

P. S.: One good thing I have had because of marrying a Christian is that I don’t need to refer to my “periodic table” 😜 before I plan a family event. No more heartbreaks on missing events because of “those days”.

P. P. S: This was an emotional one for me. I started my blog around four years back and have wanted to write about this topic since then. But the subject always made me too sentimental to think straight. Once I had penned all my thoughts, reading through it numerous times was proving to be a hardship. So I left the proofreading to my ever so encouraging better half.

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armorroofing · 7 years

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armorroofing · 7 years

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Wow! Armor Roofing - Parkville MO Roofers

The article Wow! Armor Roofing - Parkville MO Roofers originally appeared on Armor Roofing Kansas City.

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The post Wow! Armor Roofing - Parkville MO Roofers appeared first on Armor Roofing Kansas City.

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