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#it’s hard watching ppl younger than you achieve your dreams of learning and getting better and breaking through that mental fog
samuraisharkie
·
1 year
Text
girl help I’m experiencing that common yet elusive late night motivation to get my life together knowing it will fall apart in the morning </3 girl fucking help me
#I hate ittt
#I’m always like ‘I’m gonna start doing this’ or ‘I’m gonna finally try and get myself in a place where I can maybe take college classes’
#and ‘I’m really gonna try and fix my sleep schedule and stop getting distracted instead of getting something accomplished’
#and then in the morning evil me is back and they hate me and everything else
#and would sell the world to hell for five more minutes of sleep
#and my executive dysfunction has its claws in me again
#man it sucks being so behind. I don’t want to like complain and make it sound like I’m worthless bc I’m not but man it’s hard
#it’s hard watching ppl younger than you achieve your dreams of learning and getting better and breaking through that mental fog
#they’re not always much younger either just like. two years is enough to make me wonder what would have happened if I was there
#I know it’s not all in my control why I’m here either— there’s a lot of factors at play
#but one of them IS that growing up I couldn’t never beat that executive dysfunction plus mental fog and procrastination
#and then I shot myself in the foot by saying I waited to long and shouldn’t even try
#and now I’m realizing I could but the years I spent fighting with myself weigh me down now and then
#I can’t let it get to me because if I let myself get weighed down by it all I pull others down with me
#but sometimes it does make me sad. and frustrated. when I feel this motivation when im lying in bed tired at some ungodly hour
#suddenly struck with wanting to change my life and not having the daylight nor the physical/mental ability to get it done right then
#not to mention the privacy. if I chose to get up at the buttcheeks of midnight and morning I would be not only destroying my own schedule
#but disturbing a bunch of others too
#anyway this wasn’t supposed to turn into a rant sorry
#I haven’t talked a lot lately so it’s all bubbling inside I guess
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