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ashintheairlikesnow · 1 year

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Habromania - delusions of happiness

For Jameson and Taron?

(@for-the-love-of-angst and I have a little AU where Jameson shows up at Vee's OC Taron's restaurant and becomes a regular visitor. Skittish and irritable, Jameson has a way of vanishing whenever he might have to admit he needs help. Eventually, his visits become more regular)

Laughter rings out warm between them, as the stray drops pepperoni over grated mozzarella, tomato sauce, and the flattened dough. "Bullshit," Jameson says cheerfully, in his permanently raspy voice. "That didn't happen."

"It did!" Taron, who had done the actual making of the pizza dough, stood back, with his back against a metal countertop, watching Jameson work. The stray had arrived the night before, the way he sometimes did, asking to sleep on the floor in the restaurant's back room. Taron was finding it harder and harder to say no, knowing that he only asked when he had someone to hide from that night.

So, he said yes.

And now they're making pizza after the restaurant closed for the night, and the kid seems easy and relaxed in a way he never is.

"Huh." Jameson lays the last pepperoni and turns with a flourish. "Et voíla!" He says, not even remotely attempting a French accent. "Is that good enough?"

"Yeah, sure. Just let me get it cooking. I'll head out after we eat."

"Okay." Jameson watches him take the pan and slide it into the huge industrial oven, washing his hands. Taron is aware of how Jameson watches his arms, the way the muscles move beneath. He tells himself he doesn't notice it at all.

Taron swallows, and decides maybe now is the time to broach the subject again. Maybe this time it'll stick. He closes the oven, takes a breath, and says, "You know, we've talked about you going somewhere-"

"Don't," The stray says, quickly. He can barely force his ruined voice loud enough to interrupt. "I don't want to talk about it tonight."

"You don't want to talk about it any night," Taron points out, and watches the stray's face shift into an immediate scowl. "You'd be safer with my friend Nat, much safer-"

"Yeah, til they kick me out for trying to fuck someone." Jameson spits the words. "Or for not trying to fuck someone, depending on which flavor of shitty the shelter is. Either too slutty or not enough, for them."

He always does this. Shifts into anger, into bringing up what he was made to do like a shield or a weapon. It reminds Taron too much of Lee.

"Nat isn't like that," He starts, keeping his voice gentle. But Jameson isn't having it, and he gives up with a sigh. "I know you don't believe me, but she's safe-"

"Every one of those bullshit shelters is safe if they like you," Jameson says, and there's a sudden heaviness to his voice. A weight that makes Taron take a closer look and see the awful sadness beneath his anger. "And they never like me for long."

"I don't think-"

"Don't. I'm not going to any of them, not again." Jameson swallows, shoulders hunched. Like a dog scared he's about to be chased away. "Please, just... Can we just eat the pizza and watch a movie like we talked about?"

Taron hesitates too long before he answers. He knows he does. Jameson looks smaller with every passing second. "Sure. We can, yeah."

"Okay, good. Thanks. I just... Just... Let me keep pretending for a while, okay?"

Taron just nods, and goes to set up his laptop for the movie. He doesn't ask exactly what it is Jameson wants to pretend.

#jameson au #i love taron #for the love of angst #runaway whumpee #bbu #box boy #box boy universe

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poligrothepoli · 3 years

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Hi!

I’m a Politoed, but I’m not the typical one, you see. You may be wondering, how did I become one, even after being a Poliwhirl and Poliwrath all these years? Let me tell you a story.

It all started when I was born in a large, flowing river surrounded by other Poliwags several years ago. From there in Kanto, I migrated to Johto and found myself in a lake they called the Lake of Rage where a bunch of other Poliwags gathered around. One of the hikers stopped by the Lake, so I flung my tail and splashed water all over his face. I was the ANGRIEST Poliwag that had ever swam in those very waters. He took off, then a couple of minutes went by and the park ranger arrived with his net to catch any Polis that splashed water. I got out of the water and fled to a remote area before he could even catch me. When I arrived in Mahogany Town, I constantly honked car horns, found a secret entrance to Team Rocket HQ and screamed, causing a public disturbance. I flung my tail and destroyed everything in my path until I found some candies beside a faux Gastly machine.

At this point, I was disguised as a Gastly and made myself in a good hiding spot when grunts arrived so they wouldn’t know that I was in there. It was a successful attempt. A few years later, I found myself training in the Gym when no one was around. A trainer wanted to make his Pokemon stronger, so he headed over and discovered me, making use of the punching bags I hung for my training. Of course, he introduced himself to me, and we became friends. His name was Fries. He was an object from Goiky in the form of a cup of six french fries that went stale every decade, and he was a nation with some sort of dark side. He then introduced me to his Mankey, an adorable ball of fury who was three months my junior. We talked for thirty minutes, and then he pulled out a PokeBall, inviting me to his Pokedex, so I gladly accepted. I ended up becoming his favorite Pokemon, and his first buddy.

A couple more years later, we were in the Free Food HQ with some of his friends. There was Puffball, the adorable pink fluffy pom-pom who flew wherever she went, Yellow Face, who looked like a horribly drawn emoji, and Eraser, who was anything but a bundle of joy, and had a persisting fear of pentagons. Then there was Foldy, who was always irritable with pretty much everyone around her, Marker, the DIRT lover, Bell, the swinging little bundle of joy sporting a long, stretchy string, and Stapy, who was a public nuisance. Everything carried on as normal, when we heard a knock on the door. It was a couple of custom made Pokemon, but behind them was the most unexpected guest, EVER. He was a permanently evolved blue froglet, with a swirlie that went counter-clockwise, and sported very mean looks. He was here to raid the team’s HQ and FORCEFULLY EVOLVE ME. I carried on until I saw that very face.

His name was Poliwhirl.

At this point, I was doomed to escape to the furthest room possible. He found that room, and grabbed me. I was placed in an evolutionary machine, feeling overpowered. I got out of there, and he pinned me down, taking out my swirlie and replacing it in the way of his direction. I evolved, and changed. I started to rebel more, and became even angrier. A week later, I had evolved my disguise into a Haunter. This attitude has stayed with me since. A couple of years later, I was forcefully evolved into a Poliwrath after his evolutionary partner found out about what I’d just done to a Jolteon.

I forcefully evolved her into a Poliwrath, and I made it permanent.

It was like this for four years, with a two-year gap as a Politoed, and then I went back to my Poliwhirl phase. One day, as a Poliwrath, I went on a shopping spree at Poliwhirl Mall, stopping by major department stores and the famous PoliDojo. Miles away in Johto, a green frog retraced my footsteps from where I waltzed into Kanto with a lily pad I picked up along the way during my Poliwag days. He discovered my little oasis and went on a long manhunt. Meanwhile, at the mall, I got a little carried away with my shopping spree and ended up in the cafeteria. While placing my order, I walked over to the back, where there was a slide. Nobody knew how the slide got there. Maybe it was a part of where workers first built the mall, or kids wanted to have it incorporated into the huge eatery so they could play.

I walked over past the slide, and there I laid eyes on the thing of all things that I dreaded the most. That GREEN FROG was there, locking eyes, and PROCLAIMED LOUDLY TO EVOLVE ME! He declared that I had three seconds to get to the nearest machine and evolve, and if I didn’t do it, he’d force me in there plus what I would get tenfold. THREE SECONDS AND FORCE EVOLUTION WOULD HAPPEN. So I refused to comply, because I thought that was morally wrong. Of course he decided to force his way into the mall and run to the nearest elevator to pursue me, because that was what you were supposed to do when you didn’t get your way, right? Everyone knew who he was, and he was a happy-go-lucky frog until he showed his true colors.

This was a green frog with a yellow chin, hands and toes, a unique swirlie, rosy cheeks, a blue curly hair-like ahoge sticking out, and the dreaded red eyes that would illuminate like the dark when provoked. This was whoever tried to decide my evolutionary choices whenever he felt like it. He sprinted as if he was in an Olympic marathon through the 61st (and topmost) floor with the meanest looks and the most nefarious grin that nations had ever seen. I jumped out of the window, breaking every shard of glass and landed on top of the roof of the 59th floor. I took off and there he was, standing in my path. I told him to get out of my way, and he didn’t budge. He grabbed me to the nearest machine and things went downhill from there. He pulled out another yellow swirlie, and glued it on me like it was a sticker, then pinned me down. He watched as I evolved, and no one was there to get me out of this nightmare.

He was Politoed, and he enjoyed watching me get stripped of my Fighting typing.

Anyways...

I’m horrible at drawing backgrounds, so I found the closest wallpaper I could find and made it the background.

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maraudersmessrs · 7 years

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Remus Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban--- Chapter 16: Moony

Ao3 link

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16 / Chapter 17 / Chapter 18 / Chapter 19 / Chapter 20 / Chapter 21 / Chapter 22 / Chapter 23 / Chapter 24 / Chapter 25 / Chapter 26 / Chapter 27 / Chapter 28 / Chapter 29 / Chapter 30 / Chapter 31 / Chapter 32 / Chapter 33 / Chapter 34

(Warning: there is slightly graphic descriptions of the Change and brief suicidal ideation mention)

It was an odd sensation, after a few days of drinking the Wolfsbane potion in succession; he hadn’t realized how closely the wolf usually lurked under the surface the week before the Change. He was slower to irritate, now, and it was far easier to actually feel as calm as he projected; he was able to be unerringly polite to Severus whenever he dropped it off. Unfortunately, it didn’t do much for the physical symptoms of the pain and nausea and general decline of health, as he would need to transform whether he kept his mind or not. And now that the time was drawing nearer, he was growing inexplicably nervous.

For the first time, he would be himself while being not himself. He usually remembered most, if not all, the memories of the night before when he transformed back, but now there would be no blank spots and no cut off point; it would just be...him. As the wolf. This would be the first time he would be even remotely coherent during a full moon since he had run with the rest of the Marauders. Usually, all there was to remember was a chaotic blur of rage and blinding pain, frantically searching for an escape and the ever present need to bite and tear and kill. With them, though...it had been different. It had been almost fun. Because with them, it wasn’t a time of fear as it had been through his childhood; fear of discovery, fear of hurting people, fear of the pain. For them, it was a time of adventure and they had treated it as such.

“You're funny when you're Moony, y’know,” Sirius had said suddenly one day, when they were all silently working on homework on their respective beds.

“So, that's staying, then. That name. THAT name.”

“I mean, it fits, doesn't it?”

“Yeah, I'm Moony, the werewolf who moons people.” Remus made a pained face. “I love it.”

“Weren't you the one who said we needed anonymity for the Map?” James chimed in without looking up from his paper, frowning in concentration.

“Yeah, but I meant NAME names. Like fuckin’ Fleamont,” Remus deadpanned and James did look up.

“WILL YOU NEVER LET THAT GO?”

“I mean, you were the one who made the mistake of telling us,” Sirius pointed out reasonably. “It's US we're talking about.”

“Ridiculous middle names aside,” Peter said and a strangled noise came from James’ corner. “What about the rest of us?”

“So we're REALLY sticking with that?” Remus complained loudly and was met with a chorus of “YES.”

“What do you first think of when you think ‘dog’?” Peter asked Sirius.

He sauvely ran a hand through his mane of black hair and started confidently, obviously going for something cool, “Pad--” he faltered and lost a bit of steam. “Uh...ffffoot.” He visibly cringed.

They stared at him in silence. “Done,” announced Remus and turned to the other 2. “What about you?”

“No no nooo, do over!” Sirius wailed.

Remus ignored his plea triumphantly. “Nope! Give a stupid name, get a stupid name.”

“That is--that is so unfair. James, Moony is bullying me!”

Remus grinned. “Shut up, PADfoot.”

“Ugh!! White Fang!”

“No.”

“Death wish!”

“No!”

“Uh, uh, Swift...butt!”

“Holy shit, you’re bad at this. What would James be?”

“Lightning!”

“We're not talking about you anymore PADFOOT, we're talking about Mr McStag over here.”

“Oh!” Peter exclaimed and put the back of his hands to his forehead, spreading his fingers. “Uh, what are those things? Oh oh OH--PRONGS!” he yelled, excitedly.

James looked affronted while Sirius and Remus burst into simultaneous laughter. “They are called ANTLERS, thank you very much.”

“PRONGS!” Sirius howled.

“Prongs!” Remus choked in agreement.

“What about me?” Peter seemed wary of asking, seeing the way James was mock glaring at him.

“Sniffy!” Sirius fell back on his bed and rolled around, tears streaming down his face.

“No--no-- Tinypaw!” Remus hiccuped.

“Wormtail.” James said bluntly and Peter let out a soft moan of despair, because he knew what was coming.

“WORMTAIL!” The other 2 wheezed and broke down into complete hysterical peals of laughter.

“Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs?” Peter repeated dubiously.

“What a bunch of idiots!” Sirius hooted.

Well past the time any homework was going to get done, they had managed to stop breaking into spontaneous giggle fits and migrated to sprawl on the floor. ”Okay, but you said I was’ funny’ as a werewolf?”

“Oh, yeah, that. Yeah, you know, you always talked about how you just become a mindless animal who only wants to kill but you actually, like, play around.”

Remus was silent and James added, “You got water up my nose last time. Lake water. It was gross. And you totally did it on purpose,” he stretched out his foot and kicked Remus’ leg.

“Ow. How do you know that?”

“You did the thing that dogs do when they smile; you were totally laughing at me.”

“You guys...I don't really like the idea of you thinking that…that that's me. It's dangerous. It's a monster. I don't want you to underestimate it.”

“So you don't remember?” Sirius rolled onto his back and began opening and closing the 4 poster curtain with his wand, idly.

“I mean...I do, some. Nothing complicated. The wolf doesn't think like the same way we do.” But he had had to admit, the wolf was exponentially calmer when they were all together. He almost never hurt himself anymore when he Changed. He sighed. “I just don't want you guys to be hurt. Don't…don’t PLAY with it. It only takes one bite--”

“We know, we know.” Sirius waved his hand dismissively. “Just one bite, whether we're in human form or not. Where are we going next moon?”

Where would he go this moon, alone? Remus sat in the armchair in his office, tapping the arm restlessly as he stared out the window at the sinking sun. His last potion was drunk, his office locked and warded, just in case, and a space cleared in the center of the room for his Change. This time in the cycle never made him calm, but he hadn’t been this nervous about it in a very long time. Usually, it was just sort of a tired, dull acceptance when he prepared, but this new attention to every detail gave him a heightened awareness that was even more uncomfortable. He had had a constant headache all day and all his joints felt like they were under some immense pressure, which was normal; the day of the full moon always felt a bit like being wrung out and run over at the same time. But he now felt every sensation, paid attention to every thought and it was driving him a bit...well, loony. Shaking his head at himself, he checked his watch, then removed it, undressed, folded the clothes, and placed the lot in the middle of the desk.

It was close now, he could feel every one of his scars prickling, aching. All his muscles felt taught as piano wires. It was hard to tell if he was more nauseous than usual. Maybe he should have asked Snape about side effects. Funny.

The first convulsion of pain that smashed into him stunned him. He had been waiting for the lurch of vertigo that usually preceded the whole thing, but no. Just immediate, crushing, twisting, burning, snapping agony. Joints cracked backwards, radiating starbursts through his body. Muscles folded, knotted, melted. His skin was a millions of repeating wasp stings. He was blind. He was deaf. Skin stretched beyond tearing, every bone broken, shifting. And then it swelled, cresting to the point where he always was secretly hoping that this time would be his last, that this would actually be the death of him. The part where he would be pummeled into darkness to surface the next day.

But no. It was just him. Him and this furious, liquifying force that was taking his body and breaking it. He didn’t know how long it continued. It felt that this was all he had ever known. This is where he had always been. Right here, on the floor of this office, writhing. The full Change blistered through him with no recourse, no unconsciousness.

Finally, his mind clarified enough to realize he was simply laying on his rug, panting and sore. For one, heartstopping moment, he thought he had not Changed after all but this was quickly erased as he tried to lurch to his feet and realized that his body no longer twisted that way. It gave him an uncomfortable buzz of hyper awareness as it felt at once alien and familiar to stand on 4 legs, to be able to move his ears, to smell every person who had been in this room. This is something his body knew that he did not. It was strangely empty to stand there, the thing he feared but needn’t, for now. The monster was gone. But the monster was him. He shuddered and slunk under the huge oaken desk to curl up. He did not look at the moon.

He did not sleep.

#ficlet #my stuff #Remus Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban #This ended very similarly to the last chapter?#It's interesting cause I myself had a different reaction to him having this Change than he did and his was definitely negative #You're such a negative Nancy Remus

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