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#it wouldnt be as bad if literally everyone in the family hadn't also done that
guinevereslancelot
·
1 month
Text
is there any worse feeling than when you feel like someone is mad at you bc they literally are mad at you
#i came into the living room and my dad was yelling abt how he basically hates everyone in the whole family
#bc nobody got around to reqding the latest chapter of his book yet
#but he was really upset and mad
#i get being hurt by that but it literally is not a personal rejection people are just busy idk
#he didn't let on he was upset at all until he completely flipped out
#now he doesn't want anyone to read it anymore
#he's really hurt tho bc we all always read my mom's stuff
#and my brother and i talk abt what we're writing together all the time
#and i get there's a special kind of hoy sharing your writing with someone but only when they're really interested and engaged
#unfortunately the two people most likely to care abt hia book are my two oldest brothers and they dont live w us
#so they cant really give him that feedback
#he did send hia chapters to them but they arent around to talk abt it and havent responded yet
#basically nobody actually cares abt his book
#he's been talking abt writing one for like ten years or more and only started in the past few months
#its a zombie book and full of his really weird and controversial political and religious takes tho sp its a stressful read
#i dont really agree w him on certain issues and we're ok abt it usually but it makes reading it more stressful
#anyway
#he's really upset tho
#and he can only express unpleasant emotions through anger so i shut down and cant interact
#and he specifically said he doesnt want people do do the thing he's so hurt that we didnt do
#so there's no real way to set things right to alleviate my anxiety
#he's a very difficult person to love with sometimes but he's really generous and has done a lot to help me
#so i can live my dream and start a business and he's not really pressuring me abt my job seaech and rent and stuff
#so it does make me feel guilty that i basically didn't care abt his book
#it wouldnt be as bad if literally everyone in the family hadn't also done that
#when he does to much for everyone
#he's mad at everyone but im the only one having a panic attack and im the only one he didn't yell at
#he's not handling his emotions well but neither do i so we usually just dont acknowledge things like this until everyone is over it
#but i hate that i literally need conflict to be resolved immediately or i go insane
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