#it was so frustrating bc i was like yeah im grateful we're on the same side against my godmum rn but i KNOW how full of shit you are | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caruliaa · 1 year

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wahhhhhh okay once again i stayed up late doing random shit gavshsja looking forward to being tired tmrw lmaooooo also i just found out that we're going on a daytrip to like another state on saturday which??? in theory fun but in reality i am so tired i just want to be lazy all weekendddd -____- at least ill be back sunday tho since it is a daytrip..... but anyway i do rlly rlly need to rest up now so !! i will be going to sleep but first i want to say that oughhhh i really do love you sososoo muchhhhhh darling like you are such an amazing increddible friend to me and just so understanding and sweet and thoughtful and gooodd and you make me feel soooo loved and care for and safe and that means sooo much to meee!! and i hope you know just how wonderful of a prescence you are in my life and how u bring me sm hoy and brightness and happiness smmm and i just love knowing youu smmmm and im so grateful to and for you and you are just suchhhh an incredible amazing good personnn !!!!!!!!! and yeah i just care abt u smm and i love you soooo muchhhhhh (hugs you gnighttt !! if u want ofc!!iluuuuuuu💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕💕💕🫶🏻💕💕💕)

yea i get tht sm esp bc well i also do that always every day FGHDHDF and omg yea the daytrip thing is rly frustrating i feel when ur rly tired nd wanted to relax on the weekend im rly sorry tht thts smth u have to do -__- esp since it wld have been rly nice to start cs weekly watching it 2gether (not to make it abt me ofc) but i hope its not too tiring and that you got some good rest last night despite the late bedtime and can get some good rest tonight too love !!! and ough omg ur so so sweet beloved ;; !! i hope you know that youre such an amazing friend to me too dearest you really are !! like just. youre always so so kind and thoughtful and understanding and caring to me and i know that youre always here for me through everything and i hope you know that that really does just mean everything to me and just makes me feel soso loved and cared for and safe and warm with you dearest !! :'> and i hope you know that im really soso glad that i can be the same to you dearest beucase you really do deserve it so so much and also just becuase i really do just want to soso much dearest because you really are just such such such a wonderful dear special person to me and really do just want to be a good friend to you and support and care for you and help make your life better and happier so i just really am so so glad that i can dearest and i hope you know that you really do just bring so os much joy and light and happiness and light and comfort into my life and i really am soso lucky to know you love i really really am, i love you so so much luce <3 *hugs you back rly rly close if thts okay !!!* 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

#i love you soso much luce i really do :'> mwah mwah mwah !!!#flappy rambles #asks #lucy !#fave

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levis-hazelnut · 3 years

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This is a vent.

You can do what you want with this post but please do read the part from where your name starts in bold and pink.

I have decided it's okay for me to type my thoughts out here In tumblr. Safer than my journal at least lol

So I'm doing okay but I also feel like shit for the past few days lol. To the point where I cried myself to sleep. Ever felt like crying badly but the tears won't come out but you can't even act frustrated? Yeah that too.

I'll be honest. I changed schools so now I have about 3 supportive friends but we haven't interacted much.

My friends from my previous school are really very cool and supportive and it is because of them, I had a thought of exploring me and thinking about my sexuality and everything.

I have a lot of friendship problems. Im kinda losing touch with My friends from the previous school and i saw it coming almost 1 years ago. But I still talk to them bc I like them. I have been betrayed and neglected and taken for granted by loads of people who were my friends. We're still in touch but there is a disconnection.

I really considered them my friends. I trusted them. I was looking for a special bond with them. But it never happened. Half of them betrayed and verbally bullied me. Some of them strayed away. Some were Influenced by other bullies. Some took me for granted.

I'm awkward at voicing out my true feelings. I wanted them to know through my actions how much they meant to me, how I bragged about how nice they were, how I loved it when we went on little adventures and screamed and laughed. But they just had to go away.

My one and only lovely best friend moved away and now we live about 2000 kms apart but we still talk and she supports me (and simple for me lol) and she is kinda like one of the top reasons I'm sane rn. I'm very grateful to have her.She sometimes visits my blog through Google and reads my fics.

I've been having depressive episodes since last year. It's definitely better than last year bc back then, I used to cry in secret like- every single day. Including my birthday. I've actually kinda mastered the art of masking my feelings.

On top of that I have family problems. My dad is not really emotionally present. I hate to say this but my mom kinda victimizes herself. Evertime they have fights, I hear and notice this. It pisses me off but the points they make about themselves make sense. Eventually they make up and they sat down and made me under stand that nothing is gonna happen but it mentally affects me a lot.

Believe me when I say that I love my parents. But I'm growing distant. On top of that there is some toxic advice and they are homophobic oof.

I know there are millions of people with more worse conditions than mine and when I think about this, I get sad and start to invalidate my feelings but with the help of some motivational people, I understand that my problems are valid and I'm allowed to feel sad. At this point I'm like my own supporter. I'm proud of it.

Every time I see jean, I relate to him a lot. Putting a strong front for others but your terrified inside. (Also thighs mm)

So Hazel. Listen to me

When I found out of tumblr and fanfics, I was overjoyed. I spend weeks reading comfort fics by many different authors including yours and it made me feel safe.

I finally decided to make an account and follow people. I mostly interacted with you. There are so many blogs and moots that I follow now, and now I'm not shy or scared to interact with them.

You know why? Because of you.

It is from your blog I first felt like I could feel safe. I never felt weird about going in your inbox more than once. Everytime you responded I felt butterflies. After that when you followed me back, I actually almost cried. Every single time I saw you in my dash, inbox or responding to me, or just interacting with your fellow moots, I felt happy.

And after that I met amber, izzy, and so many cool moots. If we ever met In real love I wouldn't hesitate to give you a big hug and thank you.

Hazel baby when I say I love you, I fucking mean it.

I love you. I love you so much

I love all of my moots, and people who I interact with every day. I found so many supportive people and people from the lgbtq and people who share the same thoughts here.

Thank you for being you.

I hope you never forget how much I admire you. I'm almost tearing up as I write this. All of you guys give me so much motivation to move forward in my life.

himani please the way you had me crying because of this i love you so so so much i cant stress it enough

(imma put a read more cos this got kinda long lol)

im so happy that you found a safe space and you feel comfortable enough to tell me all of this too. you have me on discord as well and i'd always be happy to listen to you if you need to talk or just to simply simp over 2d people lmao

and im so sorry that you've been feeling terrible, it honestly breaks my heart and i wish there was something i could do. i'd hold you and be there to fight everyone for you if i could. if those friends dont keep in touch with you, they'll be missing out and they'd be losing such a precious and amazing person. but once you lose something you always gain something - thats something i've realised so you will find the right people that will stick by you for a very long time ❤❤ i'm so glad you have your best friend there to support you and sticking by you because even when you feel like everything's just going to shit i know they'd be there for you and im happy about that

your feelings are completely valid and im glad you realised that. just know that im always going to be here too to support you and to just be there for you whenever you need it

bye the way you have my heart himani, it makes me so happy that you feel safe here and that you never felt weird about interacting with me. please you give me butterflies all the time, how could i not follow a beautiful person like you. honestly the same goes to you - i love seeing you on my dash and i love seeing you have a great time and interacting with people especially with my moots it makes me so happy i cant describe it 😭

if we ever meet im not letting you leave my side, you're gonna permanently be in my arms

i love you so much more i wish there was a way i could show just how much... im glad you found people you love and those that support you and that give you motivation. and im always going to be here to support you and for anything else you need

thank you for being comfortable enough to talk to me and to share this. you're an amazing person never doubt that 🥺🥰💖

#himani 💗#i simp for you #hazel's angels #shes a certified hazel simp 😌😏#things like this are the reason im still using tumblr #the way i had literal tears #i love you so fucking much himani #lets get married

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