#it didn't convince them that I don't have a crush on Tom Hiddleston | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goatmilksoda · 2 years

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Last night, as part of my 31 nights of Halloween movies I watched Crimson Peak (with my parents btw) because I was so convinced it was a vampire movie that I literally wrote it into something before I saw the movie thinking "heehoo people are going to enjoy this little reference" and then it wasn't. I was so so ready for vampire Tom Hiddleston to get stabbed with a stake and maybe drink someone's blood. I'm not going to say I was disappointed because I don't think that's the right word (the production design is absolutely beautiful) but I think I will say "hey. What the fuck did I just watch".

If I had a nickel for every time Tom Hiddleston played a rich soft goth anti-hero little-brother character who has a dead mother, shitty dead father, and a weirdly incestuous relationship with an insane woman who likes knives, and also stabs someone without the intention to kill but instead just out of convenience, then I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's really weird that it happened twice.

I'm sorry I still can't get over how funny his whole character twist is.

They build up this character as Mr. Perfect (he's rich! He's fancy! He's new in town!) And his big twist is that he's a huge fucking nerd getting pegged by his sugar-sister-mommy-dommy who's killing the women he "marries" for him for money so he can play with his trinkets and build a machine.

#it didn't convince them that I don't have a crush on Tom Hiddleston #he had his FULL ASS OUT in that one scene what the fuck #Like him and the practical production pieces (the cgi ones were not as good) seriously carried the movie #Ok ok but like full review though:#it tried and kind of failed to do the whole 'Misery' thing and relied on way too many tropes for the story to really land #as scary or disturbing IMO. Like for me it was in this awkward state between Pride and Prejudice/Beauty and the Beast and The Shining #and neither element really felt right or shined through enough to make the movie great #most of the rest of the dialogue was awkward or flat and didn't land properly unless it was mr. Tom Hiddleston speaking #and many pieces tried to do that weird edgy thing that almost never works #The set design and practical gore effects are really the thing that let the movie shine #there's all this symbolism and these interesting motifs throughout that you can pick out of the Victorian sets that are just amazing #but it's pretty mid #a select few scenes absolutely rock and go extremely hard #but they're so few and far between idk if it makes it worth it #also I wanted more gore less sex but that's a personal gripe #oh and one last thing #I fucking loved 'the machine'' it's my favorite Victorian trope it has such good noises and makes a really horrible atmosphere #anyway... um... idk what to give this movie.... 6/10?#fun but pretty average #goat talk #crimson peak #crimson peak spoilers

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