#is soooooo exhausting and awful and yaaa i have determined i just dont wanna :3
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gravy got cheese now thats poutine !
#text#etc#im HOMEEE phew uwu#i think i need to move to a freak compound bc honestly even at this age being around people who arent ''like me'' for like a social purpose#is soooooo exhausting and awful and yaaa i have determined i just dont wanna :3#and theyre not even mean or bad or anything but every bone in my body wants to gtfooo when im not vibing#and part of me is like nooo youre not even trying dont you want to have fun and be sociable and included and accepted?#and also like you wont grow and improve if you dont challenge yoursel!#but also like. do i REALLY need to challenge myself on this particular aspect of my personality??#bc tbh i feel like..... i dont wanna :3! like i have a small close group of friends and i dont really feel inclined to be like.....#purposefully making myself upset and stressed just to make some acquaintances or surface friendships#and ya maybe i would have more fun being social w them#but i also feel so alien compared to almost every other human being bc of both my general demeanor and personality but also bc of my like#lived experiences that have shaped who i am or w/e . that i just dont feel excited at the prospect of even attempting to deal w people#and explain and unpack who i am and why if im not already feeling like theyd not only understand but on some level relate#i need to feel Similar and if i do not then i simply must hit the bricks!! SAD!#oh well there are others in this world i suppose.#also i am having a fun time being sooo so cozy and relaxed alone in my bed now :3c
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