Geraskier headcanon: witchers are humans too, aka Geralt could survive on nothing but spite and willpower with no sleep and minimal food, but that doesn’t mean he should (and Jaskier makes sure he won’t)

Geralt doesn’t need to follow normal circadian patterns, but it’s better if he does. He can see nearly as well in the dark as during the day, but too much prolonged night vision leaves him with stinging eyes and splitting headaches. Sleep can be an afterthought for days at a time, but after several consecutive hours of rest he’s less likely to be overwhelmed by every little sound or scent. His metabolism can process just about any food he gets his hands on, or shut off entirely if he can’t get his hands on any at all, but his grumpiness is directly related to the quality and quantity of his last three meals

Of course Geralt doesn’t really realize most of this, because he’s never taken enough care of himself to find out. It won’t kill him to travel at night when there are fewer people around to curse and spit at him, so he often does. It won’t kill him to skip a meal or two when a town seems particularly hostile. His stomach growls and his head feels like someone’s using it for target practice and he has to wait several days before heading into the city because every sound grates on his ears, but to Geralt that’s just life on the Path

Along comes Jaskier

Jaskier does not share Geralt’s views about neglecting his self-care, but more importantly, Jaskier is very much not a Witcher and physically can’t function on Geralt’s schedule. At first this is an annoyance, and Geralt overdoes it in an effort to make Jaskier realize that following him around isn’t the life he wants. But Jaskier can outstubborn literally anyone, and just hangs on like a (very lovable) barnacle the more Geralt tries to push him away

Eventually, there comes a breaking point. Jaskier trips over something in the dark and nearly splits his skull open on a rock. Jaskier is so sleep-deprived and drained of energy he very quietly asks if Geralt would be willing to carry his lute for him. Jaskier hasn’t had enough water in days, and loses his voice when he tries to perform at the next inn they stop at. Geralt has two options: 1) use this as a final opportunity to rid himself of Jaskier forever or 2) adapt

To nobody’s surprise (except maybe Geralt’s), he adapts. They start to travel only during the day and rest when it’s dark. If some dire circumstance presents itself (sometimes people take exception to him, or Jaskier is recognized by the wrong husband) and they have to flee in the night, Jaskier gets to ride on Roach. He tries to make sure they stop early enough and leave late enough that Jaskier gets at least six hours of sleep most nights. Geralt starts carrying a second waterskin and takes detours to make sure they pass by a stream whenever it begins to empty

As a result, Geralt accidentally takes better care of himself too. He’s lived so long in a constant state of discomfort that he doesn’t even understand what’s happening the first time he wakes up completely pain-free, no headache, an unfamiliar lightness in his muscles, eyes bright and sharp, ears attuned to every sound but equally able to filter them out, and strangely calm. Geralt didn’t even know it was possible to feel like this, thought his aches and pains and weariness was just the consequence of the Path. Some of it is, but turns out sleeping and eating well and not overtaxing your senses can help your physical and mental wellbeing. Who knew? Not Geralt

Geralt does his best to describe it to Jaskier who has to try very, very hard not to cuddle his witcher into the next dimension in response. After that, it’s Jaskier’s mission to make sure Geralt doesn’t push his limits more than he absolutely has to. “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should, Geralt!” When he sees Geralt tiring (or what counts as tiring for a witcher), Jaskier makes a show of how much he’d like a bed for the night so they camp at an inn and Geralt can rest in an actual bed. He likes to order Geralt’s favorite meats and wines when they go to taverns, even if it means kicking up a fuss (Geralt won’t ask for an extra portion himself, he’s just happy enough to be served at all, but luckily he has no reservations about stealing off Jaskier’s plate)

Jaskier can always tell when Geralt’s taking care of himself, sees the way he moves more freely and smiles more easily and (on the really good days) barks out beautiful, booming laughs at Jaskier’s bawdier jokes