#in my writing i try to approach any topic with the baseline amount of empathy that people deserve. i feel *a lot*. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

turtlemagnum · 2 months

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thinking about how the people around me, particularly people i dont know anymore, impacted my fantasy setting. the raccoon people i added because of a friend who wanted to be a raccoon. goblins existing in the way that they do because of someone i still know who really likes a specific kind of goblin, and made me like them too. even minor things, like deciding that a character's eyes were gray because the person i was talking to also had gray eyes. there"s definitely a lot of me in there, but there's still little bits and pieces of others in there too

#a pretty significant plot point for one of my characters is heavily inspired by stuff my mom dealt with #i really hope i can properly convey the gravity of the topic. particularly with tact due to how poorly i've seen it handled #in my writing i try to approach any topic with the baseline amount of empathy that people deserve. i feel *a lot*.#i sincerely hope it comes through that i care so much about so much #a particularly hurtful exchange i recently had was me casually saying that i care about a lot of things and my grandpa almost accusitorily #asked “like what”#i'm generally pretty open about what's on my mind. i try to connect with people time and time again and so often do i get nothing in return #it makes it hard to go on. sometimes.#one day. i hope i'll meet someone who cares as much as i do. cares about me as much as i care about them.#if i meet even one it'll have all been worth it.#part of me feels like saying “i can't bear to live like this anymore”. but i can. and i have. i can bare a lot actually #i don't think i'd be alive if i couldn't #there's a lot wrong in the world right now. i can't bear to watch most of it. this of course makes me feel even more guilty #at the very least i've made a habit of clicking the arab dot org buttons daily. i can't handle watching but i can at least help.#in a small way. that is.#i definitely feel like i needed to get that out of my system. rambling is what i do. after all #i feel like i have an abnormally strong will to live. i remember coming very close to a suicide attempt once. the razor actually cut into my #wrist just a little bit. i very much wanted to die at that point. on an emotional level #but i just couldn't do it. i need to live. i just need to. it'll have all been worth it. eventually.#eventually.

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