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thecritiquinghyrulian-blog · 7 years

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Living Legend – A Rundown Ranking Of Britney’s Lead Singles

One of my favorite artists ever is Britney Spears. I have vivid memories of little me rocking the fuck out to “I’m a Slave 4 U” and “Dear Diary”. While not being the best singer in the world, Spears has made a name for herself by being one of, if not the best, entertainers of her generation. As such, to honor my pop princess, I decided to make a list ranking all her lead singles from her 9 studio albums. Read on to find out which song came out on top.

9. “Me Against The Music” from In The Zone

The real tragedy with MATM is that it actually finds itself in a really amazing Britney album. You just wouldn’t know it from this lead single. Fans were crazy over the realization the pop princess would be working on a song with Madonna (apparently something they had been asking for since their infamous VMAs performance). What we ultimately get is a boring and forgettable pop song. Luckily for Spears herself and In The Zone, the singles that would follow would turn out to be so much better and would lead to her winning her first (and only Grammy).

Hot 100 peak: 35

https://youtu.be/clwLKJ294u4

8. “Work Bitch” from Britney Jean

“Work Bitch: on its own is actually a half way decent work out track. It consistently finds its way onto many of my running playlists and it’s a song that I love singing along to. However, as a Britney Spears song, it’s absolutely horrible. Spears’ team, fully recognizing that a majority of her fan base are gay men, decided to exploit this demographic and put out a song that they believed we would snatch up. Well we did snatch up at first, but then quickly moved on to better things. The lesson to be learned here by Spears is that she does not need will.i.am. to be successful. See: “Big Fat Bass” and all of Britney Jean.

Hot 100 peak: 12

https://youtu.be/pt8VYOfr8To

7. “Make Me…” from Glory

First things first, let me just say how happy I am to actually hear Britney’s voice in this song! As we all know, Britney’s vocals have taken a major turn south and she had been known to having her voice heavily altered (look at “Work Bitch”, “Scream and Shout” or “3” as an example). So the fact that Britney can actually be heard and sounding (dare I say it) HAPPY, is a blessing onto us all. While not the biggest commercial success of her career, it did do well enough to put faith back into the hearts of her loyal fans. Just like Mariah will never have another #1, Britney too wont ever reach the same level of success on the charts… and that’s fine! She no longer needs to prove herself to anyone. Now, can we please get a version without G-Eazy?!

Hot 100 peak: 17

https://youtu.be/etfJCm0nfr4

6. “Oops!… I Did It Again” from Oops!... I Did It Again

An argument can be made for this as being one of her most iconic songs. Instantly recognizable and instantly memorable, this song shattered any sophomore slump worries after her runaway success. In terms of lasting cultural impact, Oops could definitely rank higher. However, when looking at it in terms of actual song quality, not so much. This is a perfectly ok pop song that ultimately doesn’t do much to reach pop greatness. And also, can we talk about why the random break in the middle of the song for the awkward Titanic dialogue? 17 years later and it’s still awkward and still unnecessary.

Hot 100 peak: 9

https://youtu.be/CduA0TULnow

5. “Hold It Against Me” from Femme Fatale

I clearly remember eagerly waiting for this song to drop. I was sitting in Ackerman when it finally did release and I was able to hear it for the first time. I cried. It was everything I wanted at the time and so much more. My queen was back with a vengeance. HIAM was a huge commercial success for Spears and it ushered in another era of dominance for her. What this song got so right is that it nailed just what it was that made Spears so successful. It was meant to be enjoyed while drunk, with drink in hand, dancing the night away at the clubs. Let’s also not forget that dubstep break towards the end of the song. Some called it the end of dubstep, but Spears brought it to mainstream consumption and the people ate it up.

Hot 100 peak: 1 (Britney’s fourth and last number 1)

https://youtu.be/-Edv8Onsrgg

4. “I’m A Slave 4 U” from Britney

I was cleaning out some boxes I had tucked under my bed a while back, and inside I found some old journals I had written for class assignments during elementary school. They were innocent little things that my teachers had me right about to one day fondly look back and reminisce about my childhood. In one of the pages, I was tasked with writing about myself and in it I draw a picture of myself rocking out to this song! I have no shame about this because if anything, it lets me know that I have not changed one bit. I have and always will be a Britney fan. Now, onto the song itself, Slave 4 U is a sexy declaration from Spears. The first to really break away from her girl next-door image and one that would establish her formula to success in her later years. Let’s also not ignore her amazing VMA performance. This was the best she ever looked (though now she is looking super fit and super healthy too).

Hot 100 peak: 27

https://youtu.be/Mzybwwf2HoQ

3. “Womanizer” from Circus

Womanizer was (and still is) Spears’ greatest comeback song. After a rocky 2007 that has been talked about and documented to death, this is what she came out with and it did not disappoint. This was a big fuck you to all the naysayers and to all the people that every doubted her. A huge commercial success for Spears, this was only her second song to ever reach the top of the Hot 100. Not to mention that this too remains her top selling song. What Womanizer does so right is that it clearly brings Spears back to the pop spotlight. The lyrics, the beat, the tempo and especially the music video all come together in one of Spears greatest feats as a music artist.

Hot 100 peak: 1 (Spears second of 4 chart toppers)

https://youtu.be/rMqayQ-U74s

2. “Gimme More” from Blackout

“It’s Britney, Bitch”! This, to this day, remains her greatest music lyric ever. A declaration of epic proportions and that literally broke the backs of gay men everywhere. It really is Britney, and she could do whatever she wants. The song is a slick, sexy, seductive, synthastic orgasm to the ear. While Spears has made songs about sex before, none have been as effective as this one. What makes this song even more culturally relevant is the fact that it was released during her 2007 meltdown. Let’s also add in a sprinkle of her 2007 VMAs performance and this song instantly becomes unforgettable. For those that dismissed Spears during this time and didn’t listen to “Gimme More” or didn’t even give Blackout a chance, the joke is on you. Having to deal with personally turmoil and distress resulted in Spears’ greatest work to date.

Hot 100 peak: 3

https://youtu.be/elueA2rofoo

1. “…Baby One More Time” from …Baby One More Time

Britney would not be where she is now if it were not for the success of this song. This success is well deserved too. What we have here is a combination of all things coming together to make something bigger than the sum of its parts. BOMT is a staple at any successful drunk karaoke night. I remember one of my first karaoke outings in LA, I was so nervous to go up on stage for the first time. I looked and looked at the massive book and could not decide on what song to humiliate myself with. I ultimately gravitated towards the Britney section and chose to do this song. It did not let me down. As soon as the song started, the entire bar got up and joined me on stage to sing along. I felt right at home. I felt like that 11 year old boy singing in his room to his favorite pop singer. It is also with good reason that on TRL’s final episode, they named this as the greatest music video ever.

Hot 100 peak: 1 (Britney’s first chart topper)

https://youtu.be/C-u5WLJ9Yk4

#britney spears #baby one more time #oops i did it again #britney #in the zone #blackout #circus #britney jean #femme fatale #glory

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