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autisticlalna · 5 years

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caution & crisis, part 1

back at it again! [does a sick kickflip] [falls down]

so i was talking to @mine-sara-sp a while ago and a really cool idea came about that i couldnt stop thinking about. i was on break from writing fic after detonator, and i didnt really have plans on what to do, but... this idea kinda just stuck. so me and sara had a talk, refined it more, tossed ideas back and forth... and now we have Caution & Crisis! Grian does something stupid. Jigsaw has an excellent time and then a downright horrible time.

this takes place an undefined amount of time after the other Jigsaw fics so far, and is also my first time actually writing him! i hate him. that’s all you need to know. grian’s here too i guess

content warnings: jigsaw being an awful little fucker, as usual (although closer to 6.24 than to sticks & stones)

Grian was sick and tired of this.

He wasn’t the only one on the server with a dangerous shadow: he’d personally been on the receiving end of the worst Joe’s could do, and pretty much every hermit had been on the wrong end of Biffa’s shadow’s sword by now. But... they never kidnapped his friends and tortured them to laugh about it. Those shadows didn’t relish in the absolute misery they could inflict on everyone for no reason other than they could. They didn’t torment the people close to their summoners just to see the looks on their faces.

Grian hated it. He hated how he’d put so much trust in his shadow at first, and he hated how he hadn’t realized his mistake until it was too late. He hated how his friends flinched if he approached them without warning in anything other than bright light, hated how so many of his behaviours were warped and twisted into mocking cruelty, hated how he couldn’t even build fun traps anymore without worrying about how they could be made lethal, hated all the reminders around him of what his shadow had done.

The other hermits wanted to know why he kept summoning it. Too many times Jigsaw had escaped, too many times someone had been hurt. He always had a flimsy excuse when asked (“I wanted another copy of my god armor” was the one he fell back on the most), but the truth he never dared to say was that he kept summoning Jigsaw just so he could drive a sword into its chest.

A small part of him knew this wasn’t going to work. With each death, shadows got stronger: not just in physical strength, but in intelligence and power. Each death meant the next time Jigsaw was summoned it was easier for it to overpower him. And, with the only threats to the shadows being their summoners and other shadows, it was getting easier for Jigsaw to just nick his stuff, chuck him in a box, and leave him for dead.

And yet, here he was, in the depths of the shadow temple, standing in front of the summoning altar, and shaking with rage.

As he had done for the entire trip here, Grian checked around to make sure no other hermits were nearby. Not that it would do him much good-- everyone would be able to see the chat ping alerting everyone that a shadow had been summoned. At least if no one was in the temple with him, he didn’t run the risk of Jigsaw using them as a prop in its schemes… and he didn’t risk having to field questions about why he looked like he was about to snap. Which he was.

He’d timed everything perfectly. Joe had just left after another bout of training with his shadow, Wels’s shadow was still summoned so there was no risk of the Vex shadows dragging the unfortunate knight here, Keralis had enough diamonds to satisfy his gambling addiction for now… No one else was going to be using the temple for a while. Well, unless Apex did something stupid and got itself killed, which was getting worryingly more common and worryingly more… worrying seeing as Biffa wasn’t the one behind it.

Maybe this was a bad idea. Grian hesitated, his hand hovering inches away from the armor stand. A lot more hermits had been summoning their shadows, and a lot of shadows had been getting pretty strong. It was hard to picture what life had been like before the addition of the mob, and yet even though they were a part of everyday life they were still dangerous. Especially if killed enough times to start developing fun new abilities, like Killjoy. What if that happened with Jigsaw? What if it turned out he was still playing right into his shadow’s hands, and Jigsaw was using him like Killjoy was using Joe? What if this death, or the one before, was enough for Jigsaw to develop some awful new power it could use to make his life a living hell?

...but, also, Grian just really, really wanted to stab him.

Not giving himself time to have second thoughts again, Grian tapped the armor stand and took a step back as the scene played out like it had all the times before: the stand vanishing, the shadows cast by the lights around him warping and changing, then his own shadow stretching out and up off the floor. Grian got into a fighting stance as soon as Jigsaw got its head out; he bared his teeth, jaw clenched, as his dark duplicate stood up and stretched like it’d just been woken up from a nap.

“Oh, hello Grian~!” The cheerful smile that was so at home on Grian’s face looked horrible on his shadow’s. “Back so soon? That’s a surprise-- I thought you would’ve learned your lesson by now!” Ignoring the rage boiling off of its summoner, Jigsaw crossed its arms behind its back and looked around. “You’re reaaaally going to fight me one-on-one? Really? But don’t you remember what happened last time?” It rolled its head back and looked at him with half-lidded eyes. “Or do you wanna go back in the box that badly?”

“Shove it!” Grian snapped. Jigsaw sidestepped his swing like it was no big deal.

“Ooh, feeling feisty today~! I see, I see.” The smile spread into a mocking grin. “You’ll have to try harder than that, Grian!” It hopped over the next slash and laughed, a horrible giggle that sounded far too much like Grian’s for his liking. “Go on, keep trying! Maybe I’ll stand still~” It posed, feet together, arms outstretched, like it had just succeeded with a 10-point landing.

He was getting his anger get the better of him, he knew that. That was what Jigsaw did to people-- it either broke them, or it enraged them. Anything that it could take and twist up into being part of its game. He needed to think clearly, needed to find a weak point in his shadow’s guard, because if his experience with Killjoy taught him anything it was that fighting like a Grian wasn’t going to get him anywhere.

But it was so, so hard to think with Jigsaw taunting him non-stop. “Come on, Grian!” it whined. “I’m getting bored. Are you even trying?” It ducked down to avoid Grian’s next attack, then leaned back to let the backswing sail over its head.

“I thought you were going to stand still?!�� Another miss. He was still the obstacle between Jigsaw and the door, but if he wasn’t careful his shadow would get bored of their little dance and leave him in the dust.

The laugh that had been affectionately described as a “gremlin giggle” when Grian did it was loaded with poison. “I said maybe!” Another step back, another step to the side, another flawless dodge, another miss. Jigsaw’s smile was catlike in a way he hated. “But if you want me to so bad, then…” Jigsaw jumped back, landing dead center on the summoning platform and spreading his arms to make himself as much of a target as possible. “Hit me, Grian! Go on! What’re you gonna do with that big sword, huh? Gonna hit me? Better make it hurt. Better kill me in one shot--”

Grian screamed in fury as his sword cleaved into Jigsaw. The tiny part of his brain not blinded by frustration took note that this was too easy, that his sword barely had any resistance as it slashed into his shadow, that there was no way he would be able to take out all of his health in one go, and yet…

And yet there was no puff of smoke, no cloud of triangle particles dusting down onto the ground and dimming into nothingness, nothing like what happened every time he’d killed his shadow before. The golden seam bisecting his shadow glowed, the light spreading until all of Jigsaw was the same shimmering colour, and then, with an almost cartoonish “pop!”, the golden silhouette split into two like a cell dividing. Grian’s jaw dropped open as the light faded and two copies of his shadow stood in front of him with matching shit-eating grins.

Oh, he had absolutely messed up.

“Thanks for the help, Grian!” one of the Jigsaws chirped in that horrible upbeat tone.

“Surprised?” said the other, its grin growing wider. “Aww, look at his face! Haha~” It nudged its clone with an elbow as it giggled. “He never expected this, huh?”

“Never in a million years!” Their laughter drilled into him. “You should have been paying more attention, G~ I bet you’re wondering how long--”

Grian didn’t go for a slash this time. His sword stabbed right through the chest of one of the Jigsaws; it stopped talking, horrified, as he drove the blade in up to the hilt and glared at it inches from its face. “Shut. Up.” This time, when he yanked the sword out, it did nothing but give him a horrified look before exploding into smoke and particles.

Okay. Good. It could still die. Grian panted, a smile working its way onto his face. Looked like Jigsaw only split if cut apart… Inconvenient, but he could manage. He’d just have to be more careful, maybe use his trident more rather than relying on his sword, but he was going to have to get used to changing up his fighting style anyway if he kept killing his shadow like this…

Wait. Where’d the other one go?

Grian turned around just in time to see Jigsaw bolt for the door. “Get back here--!” With a taunting laugh, his shadow dove into the floor and darted away; his strike did nothing but crack the floor as he slammed his sword down onto it.

“Bye, Grian!” his shadow’s voice echoed from down the hall, growing fainter as it escaped. “Tell Mumbo I say hi~ I’m sure he’d love to hear you brought me back!”

“NO!” Grian screamed. He’d played right into Jigsaw’s hands, again. His sword clanged as he threw it at the far wall with all the force he could muster, then dropped down to his knees and screamed into his hands. Great! Fantastic! Amazing! Outstanding! Now his shadow was on the loose, and could clone itself! That’s the best news he’s had all week! Except, no wait, no it isn’t, because that is the worst news he’s ever received.

What was he going to do now? Jigsaw was surely making a beeline to the Nether portal and was going to be halfway across the server before he was able to even try and catch up. If only he’d been better prepared, if only he’d thought to try and trap his shadow here, if only he could just summon it back so he could give it the beatdown it deserved…

Grian got a stupid idea.

As the hermits made more and more use of it, the shadow temple had collected an assortment of various items outside the door leading to the summoning altar itself. Things like beds, ender chests, crafting tables… and a chest full of the items needed to summon a shadow on command. Grian’s eyes darted from the chest, to the crafting table, to the altar, and back again as a plan started to form together. What if he resummoned his shadow? As far as Grian was aware, none of the hermits had tried doing so while a shadow was already out and about on the Overworld. There was still a lot they didn’t know about the mob, after all. So… what would happen? What if he was able to teleport Jigsaw back to him? He’d like to see his shadow try to run and hide then!

His laughter took on a bit of a maniacal tone as he re-assembled the dark armor stand and placed it down. “ ‘Aww, look at his face!’ “ he said in his best Jigsaw impression, which was really just… doing an impression of himself. “ ‘He never expected this, huh?’ I can’t wait to see the look on its dumb face…” Jittering with excitement, Grian summoned his shadow.

What he’d expected to happen was for it to be like he’d summoned his shadow all over again. Grian had expected Jigsaw to get yanked up out of his shadow like normal, had expected to laugh at it as it demanded an explanation, and had expected to then finally get to take out the rest of its health and walk away with loot and accomplishment. That’s what made the most sense to Grian. Why would anything else happen? That would be silly.

That wasn’t what happened.

Grian looked down at his shadow and frowned. The armor stand had vanished, but… nothing had happened. It wasn’t like when he’d gotten possessed by Killjoy, either, when his shadow had outright vanished as the shadow mob took control. Normally there would be an error message if something didn’t work, right? But he was just… standing here, feeling stupid, while meanwhile his shadow was probably thousands of blocks away. Frustrated, Grian picked up his sword and made to leave.

A chill went down his spine as he passed back over the summoning altar on his way to the door. Grian found himself rooted in place; he looked around, alarmed, but that was the most he could do. His body just wasn’t responding to him anymore. Fear hammered in his chest; Grian tried to run, to do anything, but was completely powerless. Unable to do anything else, Grian looked down.

A pair of yellow eyes looked back up at him.

His shadow distorted and a pair of arms shot out to grab him by the legs. Grian screamed as Jigsaw clawed his way out, eyes burning with fury, but-- no, this wasn’t right. Jigsaw was pulling himself up, but… but Grian was being pulled down. Empty cold clung to him as Jigsaw dragged him under, deeper into the dark, and Grian couldn’t do anything but feebly struggle as the world around him grew more indistinct, colour draining out of his surroundings and leaving nothing but darkness, until finally everything faded into nothing as he fell out of the Overworld.

* Grian has made the advancement [Into The Abyss]

#txt #hermitcraft #shadow people au #hermits #WOO THIS WAS FUN #other chapters will be coming out later today and/or tonight #im tired and want to play borderlands 2 #still figuring out how to write grian and especially jigsaw so this was an adventure #major props to sara for being such a huge help ;w;#woudlntve been able to do this w/o you!!#leo.rtf

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aliceinborderlandsquidgame · 3 years

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Hcs: having Karube and Arisu as your Bfs!

Polyrelationahip - nsfw (MalexFemxMale) - long hcs cause i got carried away -

Lets start with this. The 3 of you met during highschool.

You first meet Arisu since he was talking about a game that you were currently playing so you end aproaching him.

HE IS A BLUSH MESS CAUSE

You are so cute

You like games

You keep smiling at him when he gets passionated over a centrain fact of the game.

So, the 2 of you start a friendship.

Arisu ends presenting you his other 2 friends Chota and Karube

"Time you presented us your girlfriend" by Chota

"Shut up Chota" by Arisu

Being intimidated by Karube at first and he notices right away so he makes a mental note to be soft when you are around.

Time passes and the 4 of you are inseparable.

Skipping school somdays

Going out at night around the city

Playing games with Arisu

Chota and you being silly together.

During all of that Karube ends getting romantic feelings towards you.

So he is hella nervous cause you are his friend and he knows that Arisu likes you too (this boy cant hide his feelings but you never noticed them).

He tries to distance himself from you

Bad idea

You are there asking him whats wrong

"Did i do something wrong?"

"No, well yes, well no! I mean..., i just want you to be happy"

"Im happy, im happier when you are with me and with Arisu and Chota.

Karube heart as exploted.

From that day on he does his best to make you happy.

Once out of highschool the 4 of you keeps in touch.

Meeting at the bar where Karube works.

Talking about the future.

"Do you think i can have a koala?"

"Here? No. Maybe in australia?"

You get this man a Koala plush and he ends sleeping with it.

Now, all this time arisu and karube had have feelings for you. And you have feelings for both of them. That caused you to be in a conflict cause you dont want to ruin your friendship with them so you never said a thing.

Who is the poor soul that knows all of this and has hear all of the problems?

Chota.

Chota knows how much the 3 of you like each other and its painfull to see the 3 of you not acting on it.

Yes, at one point Arisu started to like Karube too!! He loved his friend but realized that he loved him just as he loves you!

Chota its so done with the 3 of you.

BORDERLAND

When ending in borderland the 4 of you end being scared as hell.

No ones wants do die.

After first game, the 4 of you ended in a place for the night trying to proccess all.

Now that your lifes its in danger Karube, Arisu and You want to confess but also want to focus on live.

But after another game the pressure its too much so BOOM you guys confess.

Akward.

"Look (y/n) i have like you for a long time, since highschool and now we are in this hell. I know its not the best time but i needed to tell you this".

CONFUSED (Y/N) HAS BEEN ACTIVATED

Arisu its the next saying that just like Karube he likes you a lot but he also likes Karube (god karube never blushed so hard) and that he understands if his feelings are not reciprocated from either of you 2 but he just like Karube needed to tell both of you how he feels

With you? You are blushing and trying to get a good answer for them. The 2 guys you loved, loves you back and also like each other?

Its there light in this hell?

So you end confessing that you have liked both of them just as long as them but never wanted to say a thing cause you were afraid of breaking the Friendship.

"Now what?"

"Now...i guess we date?" By you

"YES YOU DATE!! IM TIRED OF SEEING EACH ONE OF YOU GIVING LOVING EYES TO THE OTHER ONES PLEASE!!"

Chota its so done.

Now that you guys are together, games are more stresfull.

Arisu and Karube feel like they need to protect you but you will probably say that you can take care of yourself.

Horse Game.

You ended stabing the horse guy.

Karube: when did you get a knife?

You: when you were not looking

Karube: but im alwyas looking at you

Lowkey sweet

Ending at the beach and Karube not taking a shit about Niragi.

"You touch my girlfriend you are dead in the next game"

Arisu its just nodding

During the 10 hearts game you guys are scared of losing each other.

Hiding but going with Karube to find Arisu.

Finding Arisu and having the big hug and hot make over

"Guys we need to win..." Chota

Ah yes, Chota has been around all this time. He is hella scared of Niragi. BUT this dude got lay (gooo Chota).

Actually, the 4 of you went to the bar just once and Karube just scoffed.

"The bar from the real world its better"

Arisu, Chota and you agrees.

- NSFW -

Sex in the beach? YES.

The 3 of you just give into your desires for each other.

Partly because being still scared of dying and cause facing it, the 3 of you just wanted each other.

Karube its soft at the start with both of you but gets rought after a while. This man, this man mission its to get Arisu and You wet. Expect full oral from him.

While he gives oral to you, he will be trying to jack off Arisu.

Arisu and you are a moaning mess.

Arisu getting insecure seeing Karubes size but being reassured from both and you that his own dick its extremely hot.

Give oral to them.

Arisu would moan a lot, its very vocal when you go down on him. Will take your hair without noticing.

Karube will praise you while you give oral to Arisu.

Actually, he encourage each of you when you too are doing it and he is watching (its live porn for him and he loves it).

"Look how erected her nipples are Arisu, you are doing such a good work"

Being between them, one in the back kissing your neck while the other goes into you.

Karube kissing Arisu marking him and rubbing his dick against Arisu's one. Soft anal sex.

Yes the day after its no secret that the 3 of you fucked.

"You 3 look like shit"

"Shut up Chota"

- Continue - Real World

Getting back home all of you are in the hospital and make a mess cause WHERE ARE YOU ? THE 4 OF YOU NEED TO SEE IF EACH OTHER ARE OK!!

Nurses going after Chota and You.

You out end raning them and leaving them behind.

"Catch me if you can bitches!"

Chota basically sweet talking his way to get to know the number of the room of Karube and Arisu.

Finding Karube, hugging him and crying while saying (without noticing) how much you love him.

KARUBE'S BRAIN HAS STOPPED

"I love you too"

But he feels like he already said it.

"Finally" by Chota.

Karube and you talking about your feelings, you telling him that you also love Arisu and Karube telling you that he loves him too.

Meanwhile Chota its going to Arisu's room to have a talk with him about being happy to be alive and well. Arisu crying when Chota tells him that you and Karube are alive and will come eventually (Chota did hear a bit of your conversation about your feelings while he was going out from the room).

When Karube and You go to Arisu's room he almost falls cause he just wants to hug both of you. Also, there is an inmense feeling of love coming from him.

The 3 of you talking and basically confessing again (and feeling like you already did it...).

Now you guys can start a normal life.

REAL WORLD

Getting your life in order. Living together, Arisu keeps playing but now he is also studying. Being encourage by you and Karube when its too much.

Karube working in the bar to non stop sometimes so he can buy that cabin in Australia.

You doing your own major.

BIG PARTY WHEN ARISU GETS HIS DIPLOMA.

Savage sex.

Chota ending with a girlfriend and the 3 of you finally getting to teast him back.

"Got the money for Australia"

Going to Australia, getting the cabin AND FINALLY MEETING KOALAS.

Karube its almost crying when he sees them.

"We should steal one"

"NO"

Staying there for sometime relaxing and just enjoying your life together.

The 3 of you are never afraid of showing your love in public.

Karube getting Arisu or You on his shoulders.

Arisu softy putting his head onto yours of Karubes shoulder.

Playing with Arisus hair.

Overall, a sweet relationship!!

#karube x reader #arisu x reader #alice in borderland #alice in borderland x reader #alice in borderland imagines #Aliwriting #HC

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yeoderys · 3 years

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𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐠

i was tagged by the lovely @xiaoxuxis <3

name: lily

gender: yknow, ive been asking myself that too lmao

height: man idk. 5'7?

time: 4:48pm (now its 5:14pm tho)

birthday: july 2nd

favorite bands: in kpop its ateez & nct. non kpop is avenged sevenfold & type o negative

favorite solo artists: taemin<3

song stuck in my head: jay sean - down. idk why i havent even listened to it for like ever

last movie: i think it was chamber of secrets but idk

last tv show: alice in borderland

when i created this blog: sometime in 2013

last thing i googled: "mountain climber girl alice in borderland" lmao im so bad with names

other blogs: @lilys-aesthetics its exactly what youd think itd be by name. was just tired of tagging pretty pics so i now just throw them there

following: 666 most are inactive accounts from years ago but i dont unfollow bc i think the number is funny

followers: 218

why i chose my url: bc hendery looks like a prince (lowkey been wanting to change it tho. very lowkey. i probs wont)

average hours of sleep: like 6

lucky number: i tend to just pick 2&7 bc of my birthday

instruments: i played guitar and piano in middle school but now i can only barely play piano lol

what im wearing: nightmare before christmas pj pants and a tshirt that says "free hugs" with a picture of chucky. they were both christmas presents

dream trip: literally anywhere. ive barely even left my state so im really not picky. somewhere outside of the country tho

nationality: american

favorite song: rn it's a 3 way tie with 3 ateez songs. desire, light, and dazzling light. mist is getting up there too. this isnt helping my "not an ateezpopper" comment from a while back lol

top 3 fictional universes i'd like to live in: uhhhhh.. harry potter seems cool as long as im a wizard. and i cant think of anymore cause most fictional worlds i enjoy would not actually be fun to live in

ill tag @briadtr @kaepopsicle & @seonghwasgirl if yall are up for it :)

#thank u as always for the tag ira!! <3 #tagged #also this says 20 questions tag but i think theres more than 20 questions lol

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

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oh? Typhon?

hell yeah

Here’s some transcripts and speculation

i want you guys to imagine these with a very thick new york accent.

Recording 4: “I remember the day I arrived on Promethea. Those buildings looked so majestic! I was so busy sky-gazing that a thief stole the pants right off my keister! Promethea’s no Pandora, but a city is still plenty dangerous! I knew this was the sorta place I would either find my destiny or die in a gutter! And thanks to my partner slash nemesis, Azlan DeVega, Promethea was almost both!”

Recording 5: “I thought a city like Promethea would be crammed full of opportunity. But, actually, it was a tinderbox of violence and greed. Corporations were pulling out, calling the joint a dead end. People were starving! Eating stone soup and boiled rats to get by. But, somehow, I survived. It was a real wrong place at the right time type of situation. You know, sometimes the trick to being successful is just staying in the game longer than the other guy.”

Recording 3: “Azlan DeVega: my partner slash nemesis. He talked a big game, but there was a reason why he was down on his luck. He was lazy! But I was hungry to prove myself. Then, one time, we were wandering through the Quazmarian Quarry and I fell through some brittle rock! Azlan calls down: “Nice knowing ya, Deleon!”, grabs my stuff, and splits! Well, I had to find another way up. And, bam! That’s when I found the Vault! I guess the moral is: sometimes you gotta fall before you make it big.”

Recording 1: “I saw the key just sitting there in front of the Vault. Good thing I didn’t open it! I gave the Vault Key to Atlas, got a butt-load of cash and the rest is history! Anyway, as soon as I made my money, who shows up at my door but Azlan DeVega? Sayin’ that I owe him half of the cut! Baloney! I was on my own, and after that, whenever someone wanted to find Eridian ruins, they called me! Typhon Deleon! The first Vault Hunter!”

Recording 2: “So I found that Vault! Atlas was lagging behind those other guys! They almost got wiped out during the corporate wars and were looking to rise from the ashes, like the, uh, what’s it called? The fire bird. Anyway, the Atlas CEO was getting desperate just throwing explorer(s?) at ruins. Now, I never thought growing up on Pandora would do me a lick of good, but I spent my childhood hunting Eridian ruins and that gave me the edge! How about that; Pandora is good for something!”

(I got REALLY distracted while writing this and started analyzing all the Sanctuary 3 footage we got lmao so expect a post on that soon)

So to start, I find it really interesting that Promethea already had a city on it before Typhon arrived. I had assumed the city popped up because Atlas got rich from the discovery of Eridian ruins on Promethea, but that doesn’t seem to be the case! It looks as though a bunch of different corporations all had their hands in the city, but pulled out once the going got tough.

Wild.

Ah, Azlan DeVega.

Azlan apparently means “Lion” and DeVega means “of Meadow”. This is kinda important for 2 reasons.

1. A very important lion in greek mythology is the Nemean lion, which had golden fur that was impervious to physical attacks and was the child of Typhon.

2. “of Meadow” didn’t really turn up anything of note within Greek Mythology directly, however! it did return the Epimelides, goddesses of meadows, which translates to “Protector of Sheep”. Sheep and Lions in general are usually associated with Peace, which I thought was a pretty neat connection. I wonder if Typhon is lying...

3. There’s also this neat bit of mythology here: “When a lion attacked her father's sheep, Cyrene wrestled with the lion” and “when Eurypylus was still ruling Libya, a monstrous lion was created, which was a great terror to the citizens. So Apollo sent Cyrene to kill the beast. After she succeeded, she was made the ruler of the city Cyrene”. I don’t know if this has anything to do with this story tbh but Cyrene is suspiciously similar to Tyreen lmao. Her name even means “Sovereign Queen”... Supreme queen... god queen...... I wouldn’t be shocked if Tyreen goes after Azlan DeVega and/or his descendants

So we’re 100% definitely visiting Quzmarian Quarry, right? This is somewhere on Promethea, so we’ve got a few options. Personally, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where the abandoned research base is.

I say that mostly because it looks as though there’s a door in the floor here. It’d make sense if Typhon fell somewhere and found the Vault there, that Atlas would rush on top of that and ensure nobody else was getting in.

Also, this confuses me, because in TFTBL, its mentioned that Gortys was “Atlas’s last ditch effort at opening a Vault”, but they had the opportunity here! What gives?! I imagine there was resistance, but it sounds like Typhon escaped with the Vault Key just fine, which is weird to me. I suppose if we’re considering opening the Vault being the be-all end-all then Atlas had opened a Vault on Pandora, too. It’s just that they never killed the Destroyer... since, well, y’all know what happened to Steele. And if we’re not considering the Destroyer’s Vault to be a tally in favor of Atlas, then perhaps something attacked those who 'opened’ the Vault and they could never actually access the things inside. It’s likely then, that their technological advances were due to basic Eridian treasure troves, like the one in Captain Scarelett’s DLC (y’know, just, without the Leviathan).

Furthermore, we can be certain there are at maximum 3 Vault Keys at play in BL3, and minimum there’s only 1.

The one used to open the Vault on Promethea.

The ‘Vault Map’ we see in the Holy Broadcasting Center.

And the Vault Key Lilith had in Sanctuary.

Personally, I was of the theory that the Vault Key we see in the HBC is the same Vault Key from Sanctuary. It’s literally described as a map of Vaults on other worlds, which is what Lilith discovers at the end of BL2 and obviously something happened to Sanctuary before the events of BL3. Of course, its possible this is also the Vault Key used to open the Vault on Promethea, which could mean there’s only one Vault Key (weird considering it takes 200 years to naturally charge, but considering there are Sirens about that can charge the Vault Key forcibly using Eridium, not too weird. Let’s not think about the fact that Eridium only started appearing after the opening of the first Vault for now cuz im super tired lol)

“Sometimes you gotta fall before you make it big”.

100% this is foreshadowing for the game’s story somehow and you can’t convince me otherwise.

“Whenever someone wanted to find Eridian ruins, they called me!”

I find it kinda interesting that Tannis never mentions Typhon in BL1 in any of her ECHO logs detailing her time spend on Pandora trying to find ‘evidence of alien life’, however if this is due to DAHL not wanting to use an Atlas schmuck’s info or because the writers created his character for BL3, I’m not certain. Let’s pretend it’s the first one and move on because it really bugs me that Tannis is forced to look for evidence of alien activity on Pandora when apparently Typhon grew up there and “spent [his] childhood hunting Eridian ruins”.

A reference to the “fire bird”. I know, I know, its a reference to a phoenix, but honestly? how fuckin’ cool would it be if this was actually a reference to the ‘Firehawk’? the mass murdering bounty hunter like the Lilith Firehawk? like if the Firehawk was actually a mythological thing in the borderlands universe. I mean, there’s a pistol called Firehawk in BL1 (y’know, before Lilith starts her cult), so I wouldn’t put it past them to pull that shit. It would kinda make sense for the bandits (who are usually DAHL workers in the first place) to start worshiping the Firehawk as a god if there was a precedent for it already. Even better if it was a dude god, which, outside of Jack not knowing Lilith was alive, could explain her usage of the voice changer.

As for my shitpost? Because you all knew it was coming....

Tannis, Tyreen, and Troy are all descendants of Typhon Deleon in one way or another.

Look at that poster. You tell me it doesn’t look like he’s wearing that giant-ass feather collar Troy’s got going on.

All their names start with T (oh, such compelling evidence I have here, I know!)

Tannis and Typhon both have yellow goggles

Typhon is basically known as the father of all monsters lmao and he worked with Atlas and baby you KNOW im in love with the Atlas and the Calypsos theory. maybe perhapeth they used Typhon’s dna or his cryo-frozen body to create the twins and thats why they believe the vaults are their birthright, hmmmm?

but hey maybe that’s just because he helped lead to the opening of the first Vault which, y’know, lead to the opening of all the other Vaults. all of which house Vault Monsters

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #bl3 #typhon deleon #typhon

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the-mf-bread-babies · 4 years

Text

– REBUILD III –

RUNAWAY RENEGADES

· COLLECTION 1 ·

“backstories”

———————————————————

- VOLUME ONE -

Dennis, Aaron, Damon, Sawblade

It was a normal (or was it?) day. The alarm on the boy's phone rang loudly, and he woke up.

Two hours late. It was a Monday.

Too tired to care, he fell back down to his bed and went on his phone. He opened Twitter and was shocked to spot the #1 trending hashtag:

#DojaCatIsOkAgainParty

He rejoiced, opening it to find millions of tweets without any context. After ignoring various fancams that made him lose hope in the current situation, he stumbled upon a thread explaining the current situation.

“#DojaCatIsOkAgainParty : A THREAD <3” The first tweet twote, accompanied with four pictures: One of Doja Cat herself, one of Nicki Minaj, another of whoever becomes the next US president, and Lana Del Rey. What the hell is going on?

“As we all know, Doja Cat, Beyoncé, and many other artists have somehow been cancelled by Lana Del Rey within a week in May of 2020,” Okay… “This is due to Lana's satanic powers.” Oh, okay. Yeah, this was the same account who said that Avril Lavigne has a clone. Who was part of the CIA. Sure, man, whatever.

“At 3:56 AM today, Doja Cat had kidnapped [insert 46th president here] and escorted him to a secondary location. Then, Nicki stabbed the shit outta him. This has caused the America fandom to go insane.” what. “Lana was behind this. As we all know, she and Jessie J had hacked into The Pentagon and made Beyonce Knowles president, for clout.” what.

He put down his phone, questioning what the hell Stan Twitter was on now. The boy approached his cat, Sawblade, who was sleeping on the floor. Sawblade yawned dramatically and circled the boy's legs. He picked her up and laid her onto his bed.

“kwjdkwjjrjrjrkjwkjwjrkj” The cat purred. His phone buzzed. It was a notification from PlayStation Messages. He opened it, eager to know if one of his friends finally wanted to play multiplayer with him.

“#0.00 NULL$$ - Hello PLAYSTATION user! We at NULL HQ politely invite you to join us in making the world a better place one job at a time. Kindly go to this location and sign up for one of our many job offers! No résumé needed, only experience, hard work, and an interview and a fitness test! We hope to see you soon!”

Oh, a scam. He took a screenshot of the text, and then immediately blocked and reported the user, NULL000000. Huh, odd username. Whatever, he's not gonna reply–

One DM from Twitter.

NULL AGENCIES ✓ – @NULLhiring

“#0.00 NULL$$ - Hello TWITTER user! We at NULL HQ politely invite you to join us in making the world a better place one job at a time. Kindly go to this location and sign up for one of our many job offers! No résumé needed, only experience, hard work, and an interview and a fitness test! We hope to see you soon!”

The same thing, huh? This NULL guy really wants his money, he guesses. First Nicki commits manslaughter and now he keeps getting the same scam messages? It's only been not even an hour today and yet so much has happened. What next, Enya comes out of hiding?

“BuzzFeed News: Famous singer Enya comes out of her big-ass castle to collaborate with Nyan Neko Sugar Girls creators for new Apple TV miniseries”

Damn, okay, this is a dream. The boy wrapped himself in a blanket, hugged his bolster and wriggled around, trying to sleep. He couldn't, so he went back on Twitter.

jimin is fr**kin DEAD (@bangtanctwice):

“dont s-word me but like why is l/*n//a out of prison again. i thought she had the electric chair already ://”

illumi killed silva <3 (@hxhoverwatcch)

“ITSSB ACK !!!!!!!!! HXH IS BAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEAAHAJAHAHAAAAA DJDJJDJDJSNDNFJDDJ”, followed by an edit of Hisoka Morow.

oikawa⁷ (@HAIKYUUUUS)

“man how the hell did furudate think a crossover w yu yu hakusho mp100 bnha kny gintama n hgtv could save haikyuu. it practically ended the moment they all ate that volcano w departure in the bg”

Kerry Washington ✓ (@kerrywashington)

“LITTLE FIRES 6 OUT NOW!!!! I'm gonna EXPLODE Earth in this one!!! I'm going back to the Early Cambrian stage!!!! Bye Pearl!!”

Internet Explorer Anitwt (@iloveboruto)

“Y’all Kurapika brought A SHOVEL to that fight with Uvogin!!! A Whole SHOVEL!!! 😂😂😂”

knas is canon !! (@moiiiraclones)

“guys i think bakugos a kurta..... think abt it.... red eyes... always stressed......”

vic (NOT SPOILER FREE!!!) (@myname_jeff)

“why is no one addressing the fact that jfk 2 is happening and like everyone involved has stans”

ray is ia rn (@cryptodorito)

“my dog just ate my dad ....... stan list !”

give moxxi another dlc (@TORGUEEEE)

“hey does anybody find it weird that gearbox just released borderlands 4 w no buildup At All. seems p fishy :(”

gerard's hand sanitizer (@raytowo)

“did mcr just do twelve concerts in three days. legends”

ceo of tanjirou (@hiskoamorron)

“pls stream jessie j now ;) or die <\3”

ceowo owof bakuwugowouwu (@bakubaby)

“yes, what i did was wrong. there are dogs everywhere starving and eating dog treats is not morally right. that said, (1/67)”

Okay, enough of that. No more. Please. Three hours have passed, and he's still very confused, if not even more confused than before. Is there some sort of event today that he missed? Why is every single tweet weird? Is all this real? Is he in a parallel universe? Is he dead?

The boy zoned out into the bedroom wall, thinking of all the possibilities of this happening. He was lost in his imagination, his train of thought splitting and exploding due to all the unusual occurrences. That was, until Sawblade voiced out her needs.

“YEEEEEEHEHEA” she yelled. She was starving, mainly because the last time she ate was like, a whole hour ago. Sad.

“Ye lah,” “Mew,” “Meow meow mew mew mew,” The boy meowed as he dragged himself to fill up his cat's bowl. “chyouooyoymeeeiielll,” he complimented, ruffling the cat's face.

The boy tripped over his Form 3 activity book as he was walking, a reminder that he should probably do his homework soon. He turned the doorknob and opened the door and he was shocked to find that his house…

Had been ripped in half.

He pushed his back against the wall and slowly inched along the wall towards the kitchen, staring down into the abyss below the house. The living room had a sofa missing, and the television looked like it was going to fall down any second. Furniture floated in the void below the floorboards, which was bent, with plumbing pipes exposed, as well as the metal rods holding the house together.

It reminded him of what Sanctuary looked like when it was floating in space in Borderlands 2. But instead of a city, it was a condominium unit. And instead of Lilith lifting it up, it was… unknown. If only he could gunzerk, or have siren powers, or be a ninja sniper assassin, or have a turret, or have a giant mech, or be super tall and have a buzz-axe. If only. But thank God there's no Mordecai. To hell with Mordecai. I hate Mordecai. He's the most straightest man. Ever. Claptrap is less straight than him. HANDSOME JACK is less straight than him. R O L A N D is CLEARLY less straight than him. Mordecai is the epitome of heterosexuality.

Thankfully, the boy reached the kitchen safely, but still very full of anxiety, and poured the cat food into a flat container, since Sawblade is so fluffy, her face can't fit in cat bowls. He emptied the water bowl, cleaned it, and filled it with filtered water, making sure it's slightly cooled. Sawblade likes it that way. As she cronched on the kibbles, he stared into the distance, wondering what his apocalypse name would be.

He grabbed a glass of water and a packet of muffins for his breakfast. As he ate it, he scrolled through his timeline as if it was the morning paper. Oh, Katy Perry gave birth to twelve kids. And Gowon killed X Æ A-Xii. With a machete. Ok. That's cool, I guess. Capitalism, y’know?

:DAMON @C0RR0Sl0N

“my house got sliced in half. im just chillin here w my cat sawblade. considering eating cat food. not influenced by any recent drama ok”

Send Tweet.

As the boy was eating, he noticed the front door to the house was missing. The entrance lead to what seemed like the side of the street. In a foreign place. The lamppost was unfamiliar, and so was the pavement design. It seemed rather American.

He peeked his head out, and lo and behold, he spotted a pet shop just a couple of feet away. The sudden shock of all this made him forget about his cat, an indoor cat, a curious one. Sawblade stepped slowly outside, and as she went into the boy's view, he stormed to catch her, panicking and swearing profusely.

Of course, this made her way more terrified, and she ran faster, and… into the ajar door of the pet shop. “SAWBLADE!!! DON'T!!” he yelled loudly as he stopped in front of the building. The boy paused, unsure whether to proceed or retreat.

“Russell Family Pet Store, since 1965” wrote a large sign on the front. It looked rustic, but well-kept. The blinds were drawn, so the boy couldn't see what was inside. The building occupied two lots, and seemed to be two storeys tall. A nice rooftop garden was situated on top of it, and there were painted-over remnants of many posters plastered onto the walls. The walls were now coated with light brown paint. This building was surely cared for by a variety of owners.

Although hesitant, the boy stepped into the store, his hands shaking. He could've probably pass out right then and there if he wasn't searching for Sawblade. He sneaked into the building quietly, determined to get his cat and run like hell right after. However, his ideal plan was quickly foiled after he stepped on a squeaky toy.

“Shit, who's there?” A deep voice asked. It seemed like it belonged to someone tall, depressed, and very angry about capitalism. The boy was stuttering, both from the panic of being caught, and also because he had to speak to a native English speaker. “Probably just the delivery guy,” A second voice assured. This voice seemed quite hard to guess, but it was surely a kind one. Very trustworthy. “Jed, is that you?” The kind voice added. Yeah, these two are totally friendly. Probably. Don't take any chances, though.

A figure approached the boy, and it towered above him. The 5'9" hulking beast stopped. “Oh, sorry, we're closed. It's Judgment Day,” the kind man said. Well, of course it's judgement day. Why wouldn't it be judgement day? “Wait, no, I'm an idiot. Martin Luther King Jr’s day.” The man corrected. “How the hell do those two even remotely sound like each other?” The first voice said, the owner sitting behind the counter, shadowed.

“M-My cat's here.” “Have y-you sa-see-sawn her?” The boy was actually very fluent in English, even more than Malay, but the panic he was experiencing kind of absolutely extirpated any knowledge of it from his brain. Really, dude? “Sawn”? What is this, Texas?

Fortunately the two were understanding. The man behind the slau– counter stood up suddenly. “Holy shit, do you speak Spanish? Habla español?!” He asked excitedly. “No, why would I–? I'm Malay, dumbass,” the boy retorted, then realising that he just insulted someone much older than he was and that was… kinda rude. “WAIT SORRY” he blurted out, sending him back into the panic that he was under when he entered the store.

“HUH?! No, I’M sorry, I just assumed you were South American just because you couldn't speak English!” The man yelled, apologizing loudly. Yeah, this dude's sure as hell white. “I CAN!!! WHERE'S MY CAT!!!” The boy shouted back, very confused at where his priorities should be right now. “Oh!” said the man in front of him.

“IS THIS HIM– SORRY, HER?!” The man asked, reaching towards the corner. “We, uh, found her just straight-up running into here. Which is really weird, since cats, like, don't do that,” he said, holding Sawblade. Senang cita. “YES!! THANK YOU!!” The boy yelled. Why is everyone yelling?

Sawblade looked comfy all snuggled up in the man's arms. “He… seems to like you,” The boy said jealously. Usually, he was the one Sawblade loved most. “I have ten cats, so,” The man replied casually. “…How? Even?” he questioned as he carefully took Sawblade from the stranger. “I just do?”

The boy still remained very confused. “Name's Aaron, by the way. Please don't call me Ay-Ay-ron. Just… please,” the kind man said. “Ok” the boy replied. “Mine's. Um. Uh.” “…” The boy thought whether to say his real, legal one, or the one he went with online, which he seemed to prefer way more than his real one. “THE NAME'S DENNIS RUSSELL. I SHARE MY INITIALS WITH A VIDEO GAME.” The white guy said, interrupting the boy's statement. “Oh. Good to know. Hi, Mr. Danganronpa,” The boy politely said. “Fuck yeah,” replied Dennis.

“And if you're wondering which one of us is part of the Russell family that's running this shop,” Dennis began, “Den, don't,” Aaron interrupted. “It's my family. But, my dad became a magician, and my dad's choosing to indulge in his gardening hobby here, so the job's passed down to me now,” Aaron said.

“G//ay Ass!” Dennis shouted. “Okay, fine, Dennis, since we got married last month, you're part of the Russell family, too, honey,” Aaron said. “Just don't–” “YEEEEEHAAWWEE PARDNER WELCOME TO YE OLDE RYUSSELL PEYT SHYOP–” Dennis yelled loudly enough to give the boy a heart attack. However, this was probably the tenth time this week he did this, so Aaron was just very tired. “Jesus.”

“Um, what is this place?” The boy was still very much confused on why there was a pet shop sitting in front of his house, which was ripped in half. “I just told you…” Dennis said disappointedly. “No, like, where am I? Why are you guys American? I'm assuming? I'm not?” The boy said. “Well, our pet shop's in Toledo; Toledo, Ohio,” Aaron stated, gesturing towards a pile of papers. “If you're lost, we have some maps, some phone books…” he continued, unaware of the current situation.

“No, I live in Selangor, so– Selangor, Malaysia, not Ohio, out of all places, God, no, and my house is right over there,” the boy argued, pointing outside. “Well, half of it,” The two pet shop workers stood at their places, trying to process what the hell this kid just said. “Like? There? Outside this gracious state that occupies the #2 spot for most arson cases in the US? That's Malaysia?” Dennis shot back, also unaware. The boy was a bit excited after hearing him mention the name of his country, but shook it off to further develop the conversation. “Yes. Somehow. Also, I really don't think this is Ohio. Too many buildings and I haven't seen any corn fields,”

“Didja know there's over 75,000 farms in this 14-million acre state? There are, ya just gonna know where to look :)” Dennis stated. “What the hell? That's way too many farms. How does… what…” The boy replied in shock, almost dropping Sawblade. “I'm sorry, what?” Aaron asked. “Yup! Lotta farms in the buckeye state!” Dennis replied excitedly.

“HALF?!” “Of it??” It seemed like Aaron was the only one there actually concerned about the task at hand. “Huh? Oh yeah. Not really that big of a deal, though, honestly; enough food here for thirteen weeks,” How the boy calculated that, and how accurate it is remains a mystery. “Anyway, how do state fairs work? Like, do corn dogs taste good? I've had deep-fried Oreos once, they tasted really good. Really love 'em,”

Aaron ignored the exchange by the two very excited individuals and opted to step out to see if the boy was right or not. In his head, he was honestly convinced he wasn't, but that was up for change. Hell, he didn't even look at his phone or the TV today, so maybe the kid's right, his house is snapped in half.

Oh, it is.

“Holy shit, Denny, come look,” he yelled, gesturing to his husband. “Okay! I hope the aliens aren't homophobic or anything! :)” Dennis replied, running eagerly to the door. “HOT DAMN!” Dennis shouted. Now the boy could see how they both looked like, especially Dennis.

Dennis was definitely over six feet tall, he had balding, spiky red hair, and his eyes were big and sunken, and had bags under them. Aaron, on the other hand, had only seemed tall because of his hair. Aaron was missing a tooth for some reason. His lower-left fang. That's weird. They were both sporting uniforms; an orange shirt covered by a green vest with the logo of the pet shop sewn near the… like the… the end of it but like in the front? Like the middle? But like the logo was on the side. Yeah

“I don't think aliens are homophobic. Have you played Borderlands? Lots of g/ay people, and they're all technically aliens. I think the aliens are g//ay,” the boy explained thoughtfully. “I have, at my friend's house this one time, but then I died and I had to, like, pay, so then I just left his house, man,” Aaron replied. “Yeah, that's fair, usually I just save and quit whenever I die,” the boy added.

“Wait, what's your name, again? This whole time, you're being referred to as ‘the boy,’” Dennis asked, breaking the fourth wall. “Shrek,” the boy replied. The two men nodded in solidarity. “Good name,” Aaron complimented. “It reminds me of my childhood, and good times, and Shrek-flavored Oreos,” he added.

Shrek paused for a bit, hesitant to tell them his preferred name, but saying it anyway because they both seem quite nice and understanding, also, his family's not there. “I'm kidding. Shrek is but only my middle name,” Shrek explained, “Please, call me…”

“Damon,”

Gender euphoria ran through his veins like that one time Thanos put on the infinity gauntlet and he was AAAAAGH, P O W E R,,, HNGGH, that but Yeah. “Cool! Hi, Damon!” Dennis said, watching Damon's eyes burn with joy. Oh, just saying, like in some more volumes, this little kid turns into a pyromaniac, so. Yeah. Watch out for that. This is Foreshadowing.

Aaron scanned the horizon, unknowing what the hell was happening. “Hey, guys, should we… go investigate or something?” Damon thought for a bit, but not too much because this thing going on seemed too random to properly scan and plan. “Um, I don't know,” he said wisely, “Did you guys hear about that thing with, like, Nicki Minaj and the president? Were you guys affected or whatever?”

“With who and what? Nick– NICKI?? THE PRESIDENT?? OF HERE?? WHATEVER THIS THING IS???” Dennis struggled to figure out what Damon was saying. “Yeah, she stabbed him or something. Doja Cat helped too :)” Damon explained, confusing the two even more. “Why?” Aaron tried. “I dunno. Drama?” “Heard Lana's involved too… but you didn't hear it from me, yeah?” Damon added.. “THE COW GIRL. HELPED NICKI. AND LANA. ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT. DAMON.”

- * Special Thanks * -

Snowball

Sandball

Gon Freecss

Killua Zoldyck

Leorio Paladinight

Kurapika Lastname

Hisoka Morow

(is that the correct spelling?)

Illumi Zoldyck

Kikyo Zoldyck (shes pretty, ok)

Kanamori Sayaka

Mizusaki Tsubame

Asakusa Midori

Pakunoda

Machi Komacine

Moira O'Deorain

Freddy Krueger

Sideshow Bob

Spy TF2, Pyro TF2, Scout TF2, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Yoda, Darth Vader, he's cool, Sheev Palpatine, Developers of the video game “Tiny Thief”, Mad Moxxi, Ellie Kurta (shes a spiderant. my theory), Handsome Jack (Not Really, Burn In Hell) (during the period of time between me writing this and me copying and pasting this, i have developed a crush on not only jack, but his doppelgangers too. help)

Angel :)), Claptrap, Dr. Zed, NOT Marcus Kincaid, Dr. Patricia Tannis, Roland, Lilith, Brick (ga/y rights), Zer0, Krieg, Tiny Tina, Tiny Tuna, Louise Bob's Burgers, Mabel Pines, Stanley Pines, Lazy Susan, Sheriff Daryl Blubs, Deputy Durland, Officer Spectre :)), Yoda Again, 2003 Honda Civic, Ray Toro, Lynz Way, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Linda Bob's Burgers, Bob's Burgers Bob's Burgers, Sans Undertale, Komaeda, Sombra // Olivia Colomar, Actually All Of Talon Bc They're Hot Af, Except For That French Guy Max, Torbjörn Lindholm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Spider-Man PS4, Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright, The Lil Psychic Girl, Uhhhh Mario Brothers

part 2 incoming.

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