IM SO HAPPY TO BE BETTER!!!!!!! i had a full meal for the first time in days with faucking. fries and hot dogs and mash potato. i literally feel like i could weep with joy rn

Meh

Days without incident : 32 I cant help but miss specific persons. Its cool tho cause idk. I still go to bed around like 7am. Its so fucking bad yaknow? Like i wanna change it so that whoever im with wont worry but hell idk how that even works anymore. I cant figure out if im feeling okay or if i am so numb i think im okay. Ill be honest, i tend to draw when im sad. I post like a ton of shit like throughout my day. I usually draw things for my friends family and other specific somebodies. My goodness this long haul of life is seriously kicking my ass. I need to get my shit together or else ill never be anything. It especially sucks when youre invisible to everyone. Its cool tho cause ive learned to live with it. Its a special skill ive mastered actually. What am i kidding, I miss having someone bug me, hug me, tell me to be careful. Good lord i miss be cared for. Its fucking hell without someone i can also worry about. I mean for goodness sake idk how much fucking free time i need. Legit valentines day is coming and i want to go hella all fucking out. Im talking everything, crazy bed of roses shit, fancy dinner, emotional talking, hell take out and movie, idunno. Id legitimately drive across the country for someone i could express romantic love for. Fuuuuck i dunno. People here on the mother land arnt the best. Hell old friends are all taken. Im literally the only single person in my circle. Shit. Its Okay i guess. Atleat im not dead right?