#im like too sad to finish rhe rest of the episode but too mad to go to sleep so i'm just sitting here stewing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astranauticus · 9 months

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i'm not even done with the new rwd episode but. spoilers ahead

anyway funny thing. i wasn't like, super on board with the professionals when i was first binging through the first 3 seasons and especially once we got to season 3 i tunnel visioned on VR-LA and MR-SN super hard (as is probably extremely obvious from my art) but like. 4.5?? the exchange they had??? the fucking breakup scene???? yeah. yeah i get it now. i have no idea why or what changed but i have now Gotten It at the worst possible timing. what the hell

#rolling with difficulty #usually i don't tag my rambles but just this once i'm gonna do it i want to share my sadness onto other people #im like too sad to finish rhe rest of the episode but too mad to go to sleep so i'm just sitting here stewing #genuinely i have no idea what made it click for me but like #honestly every part of that conversation hit me like a truck #maxim saying it's rare for adventurers to voluntarily leave that life for 'something greater' - ouch????#like it's so fuckin targeted dear god but also yeah. yeah he would think that huh #vr-la saying he's here as a friend extending a curtesy and maxim immediately being like 'your flattery is unnecessary' like fuck man #'if you wish to avail of my friendship *or something more* i'm afraid that's no longer possible' there's so many layers of what the fuck #'you of all people asking for change' i honestly laughed cuz that's just a good line but also godfuckin dammit #and like just... all of what VR-LA said before he left. like the way neither of them are willing to make enough of a change to get out of th #this unstoppable force vs immovable object situation they're in #they're so like. perfectly in opposition. and it tickles my brain but also DAMN this conversation is painful #god. i hate this /pos #like YES I GET IT NOW BUT ALSO WHY *NOW*#angry and in pain #i guess to some extent it's also like #i've been in that situation where you and a good friend realise your lives are going in irreconcilably different directions #and you want to keep them in your life but it's just not possible with the way you want to live your life and they want to live theirs #and it HURTS and there's NOTHING you can do about it which makes it HURT SO MUCH MORE #fuck. what the hell #especially when the things they'd need to change would also be GOOD for them like maxim embracing change and accepting risks #and VR-LA learing some self-preservation #but at the same time it's like yeah of course they're gonna push each other away rather than change the way they view their lives #i mean both are painful but one of thems clearly easier than the other #i mean speaking from experience one is in fact clearly easier than the other

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