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sourbat · 4 years

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Here’s a short Skwismag I wrote today.

Summary: Skwisgaar remembers an evening with Magnus.

Warning: Drug use; implied sexual content.

Skwisgaar remembered sitting at the edge of the old apartment’s railway, legs dangling and swaying in accordance with the late summer winds. Magnus stood beside him, shirtless and elbows pressed on top of the flimsy metal frame. The sun was setting, or had just started to set. Skwisgaar couldn’t recall the exact hour, nor month this memory occurred, only that the sky was a rich shade of orange. Magnus slid a foot back before offering Skwisgaar a hit of his blunt, grinning mad and spilling smoke from the parting rows of teeth, flicking the end and letting the ash rain all over his faded gray Toyota Camry before passing it down to Skwisgaar.

“We ams supposed to be leavinks soon,” Skwisgaar commented, but raised his hand up in agreement.

“I’ve driven under worse.” Magnus retorted, and Skwisgaar, despite knowing it was wrong, had to agree. He drank up the smoke, held it in until his lungs burned, and spewed it all in a long, seamless stream.

A few minutes later, the magic hit and the vibrant orange and burgeoning shades of violet in the distance started to magnify and glisten. Skwisgaar thought it was just good weed, but in six hours would come to terms that he was under the influence of a mixture of dangerous club concoctions. For now, he stared at the setting sun, jaw dropping at the magnificent array of colors that ate his senses whole. High as he was, he knew better than to meet the sun head-on, but witnessed its peeling outer layers melt into the blood orange sky. The stars were there. Skwisgaar remembered there being stars once it hit, and they sparkled and shimmered long rays of brilliant light into the deepening violet and pink. Another warm breeze passed through the streets, and this time Skwisgaar could make out each individual stream of air that tickled his neck and tasseled strands of his long blond hair. Magnus sways to the left, spilling more smoke into the air, and Skwisgaar recalled the strange aftertaste it left in his mouth, and wondered what other drugs Magnus failed to mention.

“What are you looking at?”

Skwisgaar turned. “Them suns.” He answered, pursed lips forming a degenerate smile once he caught Magnus in his sights. “It ams looking like pretty van Gogh painting, what with thems purple and swirly organses and yellows.”

He raised a finger towards Magnus, giving it twirl to indicate the direction of where the light was headed, then another to point out the stars above. Magnus raised his head up, mouth agape as he stared up at whatever mystical performance he witnessed under his high. Skwisgaar snickered, then rested his arms on the bottom half of the railing. His fingers scratched at the peeling layers of metal, unearthing stained rust that collected under his nails. The rust reminded him of dried blood. When Skwisgaar grew sick of staring at his fingernails, he turned and saw Magnus above him, eyes glued on his form.

“What ims it?” Skwisgaar asked. He blinked madly, trying to make out the man behind the shimmering lights, but couldn’t see past that rose-tinted veil.

Magnus snubbed the end of the laced blunt into the handrail. “Nothing, just admiring you,” he said plainly, which only made Skwisgaar turn and check over his shoulder to see if their apartment door was open as they had left it. It was, but Skwisgaar leaned further, saw there was no one in the living room or kitchen.

Relieved, Skwisgaar dropped to the floor. “You shouldn’t be saying them things out louds,” Skwisgaar warned, then ran a hand across his face. He was starting to sweat, and his throat was dry. “Nathan and the others will hears you.”

Magnus dropped to a squat, or his knees? Or, did Magnus remain put, keeping his limber form against the railing as he let loose a low, almost threatening chuckle?

“Let them fucking hear. What are they going to do?” Magnus asked with a sharp, antagonistic snap. A finger laced around several strands of his hair. Magnus must have been at his level then. Maybe they were lying together. If he couldn’t remember anyone being there, then maybe this was one of those rare cases where Magnus wasn’t afraid to show more than just a drop of affection in public.

Another veil draped over them. Magnus must’ve been sitting beside him, because Skwisgaar was sure it was his dark hair spilling over his back and shoulders, cascading around them and creating a small reprieve from all other outside stimulation. Skwisgaar stared up at the shadowy form of a man who was so gone his eyes almost appeared black.

“I like the way your eyes look when they’re dilated,” Magnus told him, then lowered further to meet Skwisgaar’s lips with his own.

A disturbing compliment, but they were high at the time, and Skwisgaar didn’t know any better. All he knew was Magnus was kissing him in public, on the eve of a hot, summer day, telling him how gorgeous he looked, and how tragic it was that he couldn’t have more to himself. They always kept things casual during the daylight hours, with Magnus performing the subtle art of flirtation whenever the opportunity arose.

“You ams high, Magnus.”

Magnus cackled at the remark. “And so are you.”

How the conversation turned to the rave, and getting inside the car was a mystery. Skwisgaar couldn’t think straight, or maybe couldn’t bring himself to go any further past that moment where Magnus took advantage of their seclusion, of having him cornered in a spot. He breezed through the fuzzy recollection of a fingertip that curled under his palms, tickled his wrist before snatching and pulling him up so that they could dress and head out of the apartment. If memory serves correct, Murderface just left his room and asked Magnus for a ride to the pawn shop. Or was it Nathan? Another fast forward, and Magnus and Skwisgaar were in the car, ignition on, and faulty conditioner blowing lukewarm air at full blast. Skwisgaar’s seat groaned for him as he threw his head back, letting Magnus brush his nose across his neck, get lost in the nape before whispering hot words into his ear, asking if he wanted to ride to a more secluded spot before they hit the rave.

Magnus tore through the highway, reaching speeds that should’ve warranted their deaths, but always knew when to break at the last minute, when to drop speeds before ramming his clunker into the trunks of bigger, better cars. Trapped in his daze, Skwisgaar rolled down the window to stare out to the setting sun, the purple that shushed and tucked it deeper into the horizon, and the sparkly blue sky that glistened and blanketed the day into night. Skwisgaar saw that familiar set of trees, the bright orange sign located just a few miles away from their exit, and neon lights pointing towards a casino Skwisgaar kept saying he’d visit, but never did.

The exited the freeway, drove up a set of hills and into nicer neighborhoods with fenced yards and two story houses. Skwisgaar fished through the glove compartment for condoms, while Magnus continued to lift and drop his sunglasses, squinting at signs and trying to locate the entrance to a hiking trail no one bothered to visit during this late in the hour. Skwisgaar couldn’t remember the way back to that hill, nor could he recall what Magnus said to convince him that they should stay in the front of the car this time. The summer’s top 10 played, and Skwisgaar pulled the lever and lowered his seat, resting his simmering body against the heated passenger seat. The arid atmosphere seeped into his eyes, adding to the mild discomforts of his already fuzzy head and cotton-dry mouth. Magnus hummed to one of the songs, then threw his belt on top of the dashboard and–fast forward–black consumed the sky once they were done, and the air outside had finally reached a tolerable temperature for the two of them to enjoy and bathe their sweaty bodies in before hitting the floor.

For some reason, Skwisgaar saw Magnus sitting on top of his car’s hood: pants and shirt on, but the latter only buttoned partway. The man was silent, eyes surprisingly steady given the concoction he’d smoked, licking his chapped lips as he stared down the hill at the city’s glowing palette: the white headlights and red taillights, the blue and green neon lights, flashing rainbows beckoning people over, and glowing balls of office buildings that were coming to their close.

Skwisgaar knew it couldn’t be the case, because Magnus never settled or allowed himself a chance to reflect on their brief liaisons. He was always ready to move on, and once he was off Skwisgaar, asked for the address to the club.

Still…

“What ams you staring at?” Skwisgaar pretended to say to the version of Magnus that was either depressed, ashamed, coming down, or tired.

“Everything,” Magnus answered, then raised a heavy arm down at the city.

Skwisgaar walked over to the front of the car, then sat next to Magnus. The car groaned under their added weight, but Skwisgaar hung low, resting his elbows on top his legs as he and Magnus viewed the shimmering freeway below.

“Ims beautiful,” Skwisgaar said.

And because this was his memory, a made-up figment of his imagination, Magnus looked away from the lightshow to instead witness him. “Not as beautiful as you,” he said, offering a free hand for Skwisgaar to indulge in. And, instead of going to the club, Skwisgaar and Magnus remained on that hill, letting their shared high trick them into believing the glimmering city beneath was made of gold, jewels and lightning. Magnus would divulge into some random diatribe of how everything was out to get him before being snuffed by Skwisgaar’s lips, and for once, Magnus would accept the kiss as it were. They laid on top of the car together, holding one another in the cooling winds and switching between the waves of immersive, incandescent lighting below, the faint glimmer of twinkling skies above, and the joy seeping out from their wide, dilated pupils.

Skwisgaar wanted it to be real. It was a modest way to end the night, but anything was better than what occurred. Magnus would take the wrong exit, and they’d be lost for nearly twenty minutes because Skwisgaar couldn’t remember the exact name of the club, and when they arrived, the line was so long by the time they made it past the front doors Magnus was irritated and already on edge. Someone bumped into him later, and didn’t apologize quick enough, and Magnus threatened to kick his ass. The next time it happened, Magnus swung a fist. Skwisgaar forgot how he calmed Magnus down the first time, but knew he failed miserably to even pull him away the second. Someone caught them together, and Magnus was still recovering from that initial fight, but they made the horrendous mistake to call them a foul name. Magnus just couldn’t let the insult go, and threw himself on their provoker, fists beating down on him before Skwisgaar could shake off the effects of the offense. When he finally did, people were turning on them, and names only grew worse. Although Magnus scared most of them off with his mangled, rage-induced form, the stress and fear he caused led to them getting kicked out, to Magnus telling him this was why he can’t ever really be happy, and blaming Skwisgaar for tricking him into thinking they could be anything more than just a dirty secret.

What really happened… Skwisgaar staring up at the vast night sky, spotting fewer stars than he remembered back at the apartment, when the sun was still falling, and Magnus sitting at the curb, analyzing his trembling, bleeding hands and falling deeper and deeper into a state of self-loathing.

...

Magnus looks so happy. It was all Skwisgaar could think when he stared up at the frozen still of him. Nathan and the others pointed fingers at the massive screen, openly criticizing Magnus’ way of starting fights and disorder at nearly any given opportunity before shifting their attention and the tone to Toki. The man wasn’t around, but he could be seen in the corner of that image, arms up in jubilation as he cheered the older man on, looking equally as excited, if not more for Magnus’ successful attack. But Skwisgaar couldn’t bring himself to rest too long on Toki. Staring too long at his smile only made his throat burn, his heart sour and turn green with jealousy. The image flickered as Nathan hit the remote, skipping several frames, and resting on an image of Magnus taking Toki by the hand, bad eye squinting from the array of flashing lights, but grin expanding beyond what Skwisgaar had ever seen.

People were huddled around them, pointing in their general direction. Even without the disguises, there had to be at least one person there calling them names, and Magnus, donning wrinkled attire stained with flecks of blood, couldn’t have been happier.

“I’ll be real: they don’t look bad,” Pickles said, dropping his stare to return to the bottle he’d been nursing.

“Still gay, though,” Murderface pointed out.

“I mean, at least they’re not being sissy about it, right?” Nathan said, then hit rewind once more to replay the scene.

“…which brings us to our two favorite party boys, Toki Wartooth and Magnus Hammersmith!”

Skwisgaar watched the dreaded minute-long clip, lips pulling inward when he saw Toki rush a man in the center of the dance floor, crashing into and bringing him down. Magnus appeared from the corner and pulled Toki up before saying something that couldn’t be heard through the crowds, then patted the man on the back before tugging him close. The host joked about their naturally brutal nature, their shared interest in music and how adorable it was that the two could do both while keeping their image. Hearts filled the screen as Magnus threw a fist at a man, much to the surprise of Toki. Another shoving Magnus just a second later, only to be rammed by Toki. Tweets flashed across the screen, showing dozens of fan reactions. The host returned to the clip, and people were screaming and music was playing, and Skwisgaar couldn’t hear the words Magnus whispered to Toki each time they returned to one another amidst the chaos. The crowds backed away once they recognized Toki without his hat, and the massive applause erupted once everyone realized who had kicked their asses. With just a few seconds left, Magnus turned to the camera recording the scuffle, raised a bloodied hand at him while Toki stood in the corner, beckoning Magnus back with a loving wave and coo. That was all it took for Magnus to turn, the video clip to suddenly end, and for the host to laugh off their violent date with another well-placed joke.

“Hey. Hey, Skwisgaar,” Nathan grunted, prodding Skwisgaar shoulder with his finger. “What do you think about Magnus and Toki being all gay with each other?”

Skwisgaar’s fingers ran up the neck of his guitar as he struggled to keep it all down. Middle and index shuffled between the four strings. Throat tightened at the memory of those cruel words, and Magnus blaming him for their shared suffering.

“But don’t worry: Toki’s got Magnus’ back!”

Skwisgaar raised his head up just in time to witness the second recording pulled from the internet. Toki and Magnus were situated in the far corner of the club, half a dozen klokateers with weapons aimed at the dispersing crowd. Toki held Magnus’ hand, observing his fingers and scolding him for the damage he caused. Magnus said something in return. Skwisgaar couldn’t tell what it was because his back was facing the camera, but whatever it was, Skwisgaar could feel it, experiencing it when he saw Toki’s eyes light up under the circulating rainbow lights. Just before the video ended, Toki drew forward, eyes lidding as Magnus mirrored him and closed that already small gap.

“Well, ain’t that sweet. Calm down boys, save it for later!”

Skwisgaar looked away, unwilling to partake any further. Next to him, Murderface complained about them being gross, while Pickles laughed at the irony of it all, and Nathan, in his ignorance, nudged Skwisgaar again.

“D’ja see that?” Nathan said, snickering at the now frozen image of their two rhythm guitarists locked in a kiss. “Hey, Skwisgaar? Skwis, get a load of Toki and Magnus, here!”

So what if they were kissing? So what if it was taking place in public?

“J-ja,” Skwisgaar said, choking through the single word. “It ims really gay and sillies. Kissing in publiks for everyones to see?!”

But Skwisgaar couldn’t bring himself to so much as glance in the direction of the still. He wouldn’t dare face that version of Magnus, the one he dared to make up whenever he tried to reminisce and find something positive, or just malleable enough to hold on to. That version of Magnus that Skwisgaar had to convince himself was real, then later reminded himself that he never existed.

That version of Magnus that Toki unearthed and had the pleasure of showing off to the world.

#metalocalypse #skwisgaar skwigelf #magnus hammersmith #toki wartooth #warning contains #magtok #near the end #also this is unedited #fanfic

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harryscuddles · 6 years

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could you tell me nice quotes that Harry and Louis said, please and thank you

hello, yes this is something i can definitely do!! its gonna be really really long tho so im gonna put it under a cut :) enjoy!!

fav harry quotes:

be a lover, give love, choose love

Who’s to say that young girls who like pop music – short for popular, right? – have worse musical taste than a 30-year-old hipster guy? That’s not up to you to say. Music is something that’s always changing. There’s no goal posts. Young girls like the Beatles. You gonna tell me they’re not serious? How can you say young girls don’t get it? They’re our future. Our future doctors, lawyers, mothers, presidents, they kind of keep the world going.

if you are black, if you are white, if you are gay, if you are straight, if you are transgender, whoever you are, whoever you want to be, i support you. and i love every single one of you

one day i’d like to meet your mouth

here at One Direction we love to celebrate love. love is love. we believe that love is something that should be celebrated with open arms

all the girls had long hair, all the boys had long hair, and you were missing out.

we have a choice every day when we wake up of what we want to put in the world, and I ask you to please choose love every single day

love me please?

i dont like guns, i’d throw roses around

People romanticise places they can’t get to themselves… That’s why it’s fascinating when people go dark – when Van Gogh cuts off his ear. You romanticise those people, sometimes out of proportion. It’s the same with music. You want a piece of that darkness, to feel their pain but also to step back into your own [safer] life. I can’t say I had that. I had a really nice upbringing. I feel very lucky. I had a great family and always felt loved. There’s nothing worse than an inauthentic tortured person. ‘They took my allowance away, so I did heroin.’ It’s like – that’s not how it works.

anything that brings people together is better than something that keeps them apart

pick someone who’s supportive

louis is a great person to just like sit and kind of like just admire what he’s like.

I think looking in, not everyone can understand it but to that girl or that boy, it might be the most important thing in the world. Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean you can say it’s crazy

be nice. be good.

dont knock it till you try it

i study rainbows

despite the company outside, i believe in equal rights for everyone. i believe god loves all

women are smarter

I feel like when people label people as famous, they take away a lot of substance that they have as a person. So you don’t remember someone as ‘He was funny’, or ‘They were really nice and giving’. It’s like ‘They were famous’, and then it becomes a thing where anything after that, whatever you choose to do afterwards… if it’s not as famous, or more famous than it was before it’s considered a failure. And that’s a shame, because it’s not a failure always

we’re a great team and we’ll always be your boys. all the love in the world and that’s a lot of love

I want you to do whatever makes you happiest in this world.

treat people with kindness

all the love as always

We’re living in a time where it’s impossible not to be aware of what’s going on in the world. Society has never been so divisive. It’s important to stand up for what we think is right. I would love for my views to come through in the music I make and the things I do. That’s a very powerful way that we can use our voices. I think for a long time people thought ‘what I do doesn’t matter’ but revolution comes from small acts, and now people are realising that’s what sparks real change.

I didn’t grow up in a man’s man world. I grew up with my mum and my sister. But I definitely think in the last two years, I’ve become a lot more content with who I am. I think there’s so much masculinity in being vulnerable and allowing yourself to be feminine, and I’m very comfortable with that. Growing up you don’t even know what those things mean. You have this idea of what being masculine is and as you grow up and experience more of the world, you become more comfortable with who you are. Today it’s easier to embrace masculinity in so many different things.

fav louis quotes:

happy days!!

live fast, have fun, be a bit mischievous

bring it in, for the long embrace

promise

we’re not perfect, we’re not clean cut, we’re just trying to be ourselves

you know what? it would just be amazing to be remembered. you know like a mum telling her daughter ‘the boyband of my time, one direction, they just had fun, and they were just normal guys, but terrible terrible dancers

even if theres a tiny tiny chance, isn’t that worth going for?

and then theres me

I remember saying to her: ‘Mum, how the fuck do you expect me to do this now?’ And she didn’t swear much, my mum. She’d always tell me off for swearing. And this time she was like: ‘You’ve got to fucking do it, it’s as simple as that.’ It was football manager, team talk stuff.

dont cry love, party party time!

darling just hold on

flamboyant

forget what you learnt in scouts payno we’re doing it the tommo way

I had a photo taken with Harry because I knew he was going to be famous. I even gave him a hug and told him not to worry because I knew he’d be fine

as i might miss him

always you

where do you wanna sit? next to you

best fucking team in the world!

(when he won the iheart award) but most importantly, i have to thank you guys, the fans. i mean i know i’ve done it loads but i cant possibly thank you guys enough. every single person, every single one that voted for this award, thank you, thank you so much and we really have done this together

its a big thing you know, sitting in a room and talking about your feelings… your deepest love

loads and loads of love

always in my heart @harry_styles. yours sincerely, louis

#there are probably a ton more but i rlly have to study for my exam tmr rip #if anyone feels like i missed something pls feel free to add but i think this is a pretty exhaustive list in itself ahah #ask arsh #Anonymous #editss

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