#im going to do more math tomorrow to check my estimate on the total grocery bill for each month
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someone i appreciate said today that they're looking forward to seeing more of my art this year and now I'm like. oh. okay. so i definitely have to live now i guess. ack.
#I've done so much math tonight to figure out how many hours of minimum wage work it'd take to break even each month#and. i think. it might be possible. idk#at least i wouldn't be bleeding out my wallet anymore. would be able to staunch the flow or whatever the word is. starts with S. idk#nvm i just googled and it is staunch yayyy good word recall for once fjfkdl#im going to do more math tomorrow to check my estimate on the total grocery bill for each month#maybe if i can just... make a routine. for making boring cheap food. i can have a consistent grocery bill#easier to track. and then i can rly math this out and figure out how to possibly extend the time on my clock#I WANT TO LIVEEEE I really really do. idk what switch flipped the past month but i actually want to be alive rn#i feel like theres absolutely nothing going for me anymore not even art. but for some reason i just want to live now. even with nothing.#and that makes everything scarier because now i can fail. now i have smth to lose. agh.#anyways i guess this is a good reminder to myself that compliments can go an incredibly long way fjdkdl goddamn#I'll have to hand them out more often perhaps#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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