#ik it’s childhood shit and bpd and whatnot but girl help i need to break the pattern | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

birthdayplant · 1 year

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it’s so weird to be unconditionally loved by people and that i’m someone they want to be around often. it’s hard to “understand” a person’s reasons for loving me that much but maybe my problem is i don’t need to understand it in the first place and rather just accept it for what it is.

#let me be vulnerable in the tags real quick #i’m reflecting on all my past friendships and a lot of them ended because i always had one foot out of the door #some of them i had a right to do so but it still feels shitty bc i know what it’s like to be on the other end of a relationship like that #and i don’t want my future and current relationships to be like that anymore but it feels so instilled me to separate myself #to be alone and to not ask for help and to not open up about my life and to stay distant #like i have friends that love me so much and i always feel like there’s this wall i’ve built between us to protect myself #but the thing is what is it i’m so scared of and what am i protecting myself from? especially from people who have shown nothing but love #i always find a reason to leave and it’s not something i’m proud of and idk all i can do is change #ik it’s childhood shit and bpd and whatnot but girl help i need to break the pattern

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