#if you could see what I see you’d be blinded by the colors. ( MOTHER / SIMULACRA. ) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

variantia · 5 years

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❤️(Ayatsuri) 💙(Dmitri) 💛(Mother) 💚(Vesper)💜 (Any muse that you think needs more love)

Peer into my muse’s memories // accepting !

BELLUM. I chose Webber for the last one ! under the cut bc is long and also D’s and Vesper’s have some triggers ! !

❤️- A happy memory that makes them smile

Soft hums leave the puppet master’s lips as she finishes the final strokes of paint on her doll. The marionette is small enough to fit in the palm of her hand, with details like one would expect from an expert artist. She’s beautiful, with stark white porcelain for skin, pin-straight black hair that shines like a gemstone, and an intricate silvery outfit with dark trim.

A simple melody plays from a music box in the background, a soundtrack to Ayatsuri’s delicate work. Dark polished nails sweep gingerly through the doll’s hair ; her eyes roaming over every inch of her handiwork. ❝ Oh, Tsukiko, ❞ she coos.

This is the first puppet she’s ever made completely on her own from scratch. She fired and molded the porcelain, painstakingly laid every strand of hair, and spent countless hours sewing the dress. They’re all things she’s practiced before, but now holding something that is entirely her own creation, with her time and taste and essence poured into it, is something unlike anything else.

❝ You’re perfect. I can’t wait to make you a little friend. ❞

💙- A sad memory that makes them cry

❝ Mother, please. Let go. ❞

D has never been so relieved and regretful to say anything in his entire life. Now Mina Harker has slipped away into a quiet death, and he will have to navigate the world without his mother.

He sees the spark fade from her eyes, but she passes with a smile on her face. Her twisted fingers are around his just as tightly as they have ever been ; when they go limp, he knows she is gone. His mother was a light unto the world, and the world never appreciated her. Everyone cast her away because of him. Because of her son. Because of what he is. She suffered so much, especially now as her body was failing her, as she clung to her life only for her child.

It wasn’t fair. None of it. And because he’s never gotten too close to anyone else, D has no frame of reference for this. What is he supposed to do now that she’s gone ? Why does he feel so empty ? Why was she smiling ? Why did she always let people say ugly things to her, and why did she forgive everyone, and why has she always treated him like he is the most important thing that exists ?

Not for the first time in his life, but for the first time since he has learned to control his emotions, D breaks down in tears. Crouched by his mother’s bed, with her lying lifeless under the sheets, so close and so far away, he feels more like a terrified little boy than he ever did in his youth.

He doesn’t know how long he stays like this, lost in his own head as tears refuse to stop. He thinks about every beautiful memory he has of Mina. Every time she held him close or kissed his forehead or erased someone else’s awful words with a gentle lullaby. Despitethe fact that that he was the greatest source of her own pain, she treated him like a precious thing.

After a long while of thinking, he reaches a conclusion.

Even though the world never appreciated her unrelenting kindness, he did.

From this moment on, he will do his best to be someone who deserves it.

If it’s the last thing he does with his pitiful life, he will make his mother proud.

But for now, a wound has been ripped open in his heart, leaving it raw and angry and full of despair. Before he makes his mother proud, he must heal.

He’s sure it will take a long time.

He’s not sure he will ever truly heal.

💛- A memory that makes them feel angry

The fact that Greed left the group is only half of the reason that Mother feels fury burning inside her chest.

The bigger reason is Envy’s reaction.

Envy, the one of her children she’s always felt like she never had to worry about, Envy who claims they hold no real affection for their brothers and sister, is currently on a pseudo rampage contained mostly to their own room. When she arrived back, it was them who toldher that Greed was gone ; in a screaming voice that sounded like it was going to tear their throat in two. Now, they’re throwing things and breaking the few possessions they have and punching walls.

Her other children have wisely decided to find reasons to suddenly be far, far away so that they can just leave Envy to their tantrum. In the meantime, Mother has slipped away into the streets, disguised, to unleash her rage in a less violent manner.

She doesn’t know where Greed has gone. Her best guess would be that he’s gone somewhere with a lot of humans, maybe with a lot of wealth – because he’s predictable. Because he’s always been fascinated by those two things in particular.

Even as her eyes scan the crowd, she knows she won’t be going anywhere. Looking for him would just be a waste of time. It wouldn’t matter if she found him or not. He won’t allow himself to be dragged back, and she can’t bring herself to incapacitate one of her children in order to force his return. She’s perhaps cruel, but she’s not that cruel.

Wherever he is, though, he should make no mistake. His mother is furious with him to the point that her hands are shaking in anger. Her eyes are sharp as she moves through the throng, and it’s a surprise that the streets don’t start to smoke wherever her feet touch.

Greed will find himself in her arms once again, whether he likes it or not. Whether he realizes yet that he will. He can’t stay away ; they’re his family.

That said, she thinks that the next time they meet, she will have to punish him before she permits herself to embrace him. How dare he hurt his siblings like this.

💚- A memory that makes them feel guilty

When Vesper wakes up, he’s lying on clouds so soft he knows he must be in heaven.

For a few minutes as he tries to gain his bearings, he can’t remember anything. Even the exact chunk of time that would explain why he was unconscious in the first place is missing.

There’s noise and speech all around him, and as soon as he’s able to focus, he knows what this is. It’s one of the judgment rooms that belong to the other angels. There are screens forming every wall that are replaying his failure nonstop.

The memories that flood his mind are those of an attempt to guide a woman toward happiness. Someone who had just had a fight with her girlfriend, who was still angry. Vesper can remember gently pressing his essence against this young lady, trying to influence her toward the best path. If she could just talk to her girlfriend, now that a few days had passed, things might be better. They might be able to make up and get back together. They would be happy.

❝ Go, go, ❞ he whispers on the screens, an encouraging smile on his tender features. He remembers being so hopeful. So careful. And now this is coming from so many angles, he can’t stand it. ❝ You can do it. Just talk to her. It’ll be okay. ❞

How could he have predicted that which the screens suddenly cut to ? – The image of this woman lying on the sidewalk with a bullet in her head, fresh blood staining the stone, dead eyes staring through these screens at him.

Another angel, full-blooded and pure, stares at him from outside the room, and when he lifts his head to look at her, tears streaking down his face, her eyes look at him coldly.

❝ You are a menace, Vesper. LOOK WHAT YOU DID. ❞

And he cries harder, because she is right.

💜- A memory about one of their loved ones, happy or sad

Even as young as Webber and Wendy are, they can still be useful to the rest of the survivors’ group. Often, they are.

Today is a day for relaxing, however. Although they could go forage or build some things, the adults are taking a break for the day, so the children decide to follow their example.

Wendy is lying on the grass with her long hair splayed out behind her, arms crossed over her chest in a manner that would suggest she were a corpse in a coffin, and Abigail’s flower is resting comfortably on her stomach. There’s a subtle chill in the air which indicates that while Abigail isn’t right here next to them, she’s not far away. Webber sits next to his friend, quietly crafting something that there’s no real need for.

❝ What are you doing, Webber ? ❞ Wendy eventually speaks up in that eerie, whispery voice of hers that makes adults nervous. ❝ You’re making this rustling noise. Is that actually you, or has some great, terrible beast finally come to ravage our camp- ground ? ❞

A gravelly buzz of a giggle leaves him, and he taps her shoulder. ❝ No, of course not, silly ! I’m making something for you. Sit up ; it’s all done ! ❞

Once Wendy has taken her time in doing so, opening her eyes to blink at him, he reaches over and slides his creation onto her wrist. ❝ There we go ! It’s a friendship bracelet. Isn’t it lovely ? ❞

❝ Oh. ❞ That’s all she says for a moment, staring down at the bracelet. It’s not very fancy, just made out of woven grass with some flowers for decoration, but it’s something he made specifically for her. At last, she leans over and wraps her arms around him. She doesn’teven seem to mind the feeling of the bristly spider fur. ❝ Thank you, Webber. I’ll never take it off. ❞

For the first time in a long time, he feels warm without being near the fire.

It’s nice to have friends even if none of them know what exactly tomorrow will bring.

#death tw #domestic violence tw #you scream into the void ; the void screams back. ( ANSWERED ASK. )#let’s play again sometime ! ( MEME REPLY. )#one of Bellum’s favorite pastimes. ( BELLUM WRITES. )#done by the hands of a broken artist. ( AYATSURI. )#rather be the hunter than the prey. ( D. )#if you could see what I see you’d be blinded by the colors. ( MOTHER / SIMULACRA. )#you were my savior in my time of need. ( VESPER. )#the indigestible. ( WEBBER. )#(( WHEW IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE WRITTEN FOR SOME OF THESE GUYS !#or more accurately I don't get to use many of them much XD #the first tw is for D's and Vesper's and the second tw only applies to Vesper's <3 ))#historias-multorum

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