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sagamemes · 4 years

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disastrio text starters episode II: teeth and tomfoolery. below and under the cut, you can find 75 messages dug up from the pins of the cursed group chat of three international friends, and some select dms. slightly edited for roleplay purposes, with spelling errors opted to keep in tact to maintain the Energy™. edit as you please. tw: nsfw and kink mentions.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] when i have nothing to add i just screenshot it sorry

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [name] i am going to choke you.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] sorry i laughed too hard and now my mother is yelling

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] it's nearly [zodiac] season, bitches

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] thunder just shook my entire car. [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] why must we all pay for florida man's sins.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i is business contact

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] only if they mentioned something about te*th

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i don't watch enough simpsons to know what that means but i love you

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] hey who wants to hear a fun fact about the progression of time

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] as if you could curb your scientific curiosity for long enough to leave the only place on earth where someone might use "hey who wants to hear a fun fact about the progression of time" as a conversation opener

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] "you want to punish yourself by seeking unhealthy relationships." [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] also the stars say you may want to have your feet fucked.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] this is the worst thing i have come across all week

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] maybe it's the preparation for pangea [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] which i for one am all for

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] you're kdidng

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the real magic was the tomfoolery we had along the way?

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] that sounds like a famous last words situation

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the death of a platform cannot end our tomfoolery

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i'll die hot [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] in every sense of the word

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] there's a "everything is bigger in texas" joke in there somewhere

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] what can i say i love to validate my friends

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] when ur suffering too much from anxiety to fly so u just recreate 179,997,981 B.C.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] at this point i'm taking no responsibilities you know what you're signing up for when u open this chat

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] valid and good information and all but I fucking refuse to teach my kids how to "hook up so they're not nervous anymore"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] we need a gang sign

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i like having the reputation of terror among those who Don't Know Me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] if the worst thing that people think about me is that i have a [thing] kink then i can live with that

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] teeth r hot what is anyone going to do about it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the fact that the conversation just ends there makes it look like you legit hopped on a plane and unhinged your jaw

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the suns will come for us all

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] my conspiracy theory is strengthening

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] they're telling u to be suspicious of the house plant in case there's a mic in there

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [name] didn't u hear me the tractor supply is a front for a secret government agency keep up

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] who needs eyes when u got swag

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] not to completely derail the conversation but [person] just said that she believes male nipples should fall off like the umbilical cord at some point and i can't fucking breathe

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] there are only so many contexts for [body part] in a sexual setting

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] WHERE ARE YOUR TEETH IF NOT ATTACHED TO YOUR HEAD

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the Salmon Instinct(tm) always gets ya

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i immediately regret typing that

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] ur parents thought gators made a nice backdrop for babymaking

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i'm surrounded by rats i see

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] p sure the faculty let it go on bc it would work as abstinence fuel

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i choose ignorance

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i'm not linking anything google at your own risk

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] just let [name] do the talking, even if it's about teeth

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] john mulaney was right

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i will relish in your suffering nonetheless

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i've got therapy at 10, and a tarot reading at 9.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] me: yeah i consider myself a logical, even overthinking individual [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] also me: no wait fuck i'm gonna burn my couch *SLAPS THE FIRE*

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] tonightwith food, i will weep, do not fret

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] cry those shit chemicals out

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] vastly different kids of chaos, urs hurts u, i just had to eat the marshmallows faster to get rid of Bad Taste

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] finland is the florida of europe

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] but more importantly it made my heart hurt

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] all roads lead to [person/public figure]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] it is Fucking Moist here my mans [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] ....humid. the word i was looking for is humid

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] if there ever comes a day when i stop liveblogging my misfortune here, presume me dead

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] that's a whole child

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i hate them both so [name] just go my wrath in that moment

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] our entire relationship is based on fictional emotional s/m

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i hope u realise we're gonna kidnap u when u come here right

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] update: 4 am and i'm crying about a fictional bird child

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] can someone please kill the hobgoblin, they keep coming back and i have nothing left to give

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] cursed threeway

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the minions crucified jesus

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] THE FUCKER STOLE MY TERRIYAKI JERKY

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] "you're a shameless little jerky thief and i hate you" - [name] about the cat, but it's better without context

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] I consider this further proof that Romeo and Juliet ruin everything

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i have the sense of humour of a 12 year old

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] yeah rodeo girls will do that to u tho

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [name] has the brain cell and they fell asleep with it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i'm never gonna be able to look at rich people furniture without presuming it's a kink thing hiding in plain sight

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] but who am i if not the bitch to say the thing nobody wants to

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i must've missed deep sea penis

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] IT’S IN MAJOR IT COUNTS AS LIGHT-HEARTED

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] op of this article has a vore kink

#text meme #texting meme #rp text meme #* texts.#disastrio

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