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#if transitioning isnt making you kinder and more graceful as a person
professorbussywinkle · 7 months
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My unpopular opinion as a trans person, is if you are trans...
...and you feel this need to be constantly propped up by external validation from other people around you all the time...
...and if the second that external validation is not there you feel like your world is going up in flames and you'll never recover from it cuz you felt your identity was invalidated somehow...
...then I'm sorry, you don't have a strong sense of conviction in your own identity, and trust, imma be so real with you rn, the people who already dont wanna respect you, who are already looking to cut someone down like that cuz they miserable, can easily sense that in you and will undoubtedly exploit it if you let them cuz it makes them feel powerful...don't give them that satisfaction, a mf like that clearly don't deserve it
And I don't think misgendering is this all caps, red-alert, human rights violation that some trans people make it out to be
I am the sole purveyor holding all acute insights about myself and my identity, other people outside of me can not and never will have that acute and valuable insight, so how other people perceive me, or how they choose to adresss me, regardless of my own preferences, frankly...does not concern me in the slightest like...why would I let some mf tell me about myself as if I somehow already didn't know myself more intimately than they ever could?? How could their minor surface level perceptions hold a greater weight than my own deep and measured insight about myself??
Y'all, shit from a mf like that will never hold that weight to me, because I know exactly what I am, and I value it highly and hold my knowledge of myself in the highest of regards, that's my power, and that's my peace and it comes from a divine source...
...and I don't blame y'all for this, but some of y'all don't have that conviction, and thats why y'all be getting your assholes twisted in knots from being misgendered and invalidated, and honestly if you don't know exactly what and who you are...
...Then thats also totally fucking fine too!
I applaud anyone who has the nerve to trudge inside themselves as intimately as trans people do, in order to live a happier and more fulfilling life, and in the aim of actualizing yourself to your highest capacity
But y'all...I guarantee you, if you aren't sure, and you straight out the gate let people know you ain't figure it out all the way yet, anyone who actually gives enough of a fuck about you to try and exert repeated conscious effort to respect you in the ways you're asking to, is always gonna be worth having in your corner, and actually they will respect you more and appreciate your humility and grace for working with them, even if they don't get it right 100% of the time.
Oh and also...choosing to get pissed off, defensive, or lashing out, and forcing people to feel like they gotta walk on eggshells around you for the fear they're gonna accidentally unintentionally trigger you in some way is actually a form of emotional abuse, and maybe you shouldn't do that, especially to the ones that give enough of a damn to even try being there for you in that type of way in the first place, hmm??
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