sergle i thought you didn't like ppl objectifying you :/

god okay this gave me whiplash. make sure you remember how to read before proceeding. sound words out for a friend or family member if you need to. People Being Thirsty in my general direction is different from people like. seeing me only as JO material. I Don't Like people thinking they're smooth as hell trying to dm me what they assume women want to hear. Describing some cringe ass shit. I Do Like a compliment. I even like a compliment that is clearly thirsty. I don't think "I've jacked off to you" is a compliment. not from yall anyway. super controversial, I know. a fat fetish blog following me and reblogging my selfies Is objectification. someone being vaguely horny can be good, or bad, or funny and I show it to ppl on discord and laugh- depends on the specifics. Most of the people following me are too uwu to even get close to the line. they've backed so far away from the line out of fear that they tripped over something while they were backing up and it was embarrassing for them. People trying to push me into sex work specifically while I'm fundraising, because they know I'm more vulnerable at that time and they want to take advantage of me needing money, is definitely sexual harassment, that's definitely me being objectified. the ask I just got, though, was not that. 😭 just telling me that some girls think I'm hot? that is tepid as hell. thinking someone is attractive isn't objectifying them. all attraction is not objectification. please. work with me here

There was a time I actually considered in the back of my mind, there may be some kind of good intent on behalf the Program in my targeted situation. I genuinely hoped and believed despite the madness of the tactics "played" against me, there must be some silver lining underneath it all, like maybe in their own warped out way, my enemies were trying to "help" me better my life and personalities some kind of way. For a few years they'd indirectly said as much, even growing frustrated when I'd air my critism towards their hostility.

After today, I not only understand but accept, there is no true positive intent towards Targeted Individuals from the Other Side. They basically set you up with lies to fit into their hateful agenda, and from that moment on, they twist just about every little thing you say and do against you to further their hate campaign. They can set you up as anything they want, but the worst thing they can damage your rep with is lies of being a pedophile. Everyone hates pedophiles and once the Elites have brainwashed the masses into running with this lie, they're all off like marathon runners, spreading their diseased lies around like prostitutes. As a Targeted Individual, whatever lies they spurn becomes impossible to fight against. You can be the most loving, caring person who'd give the shirt off your back to a complete stranger. Doesn't matter. You've now got hoardes of blood thirsty monsters at your throat. Nothing you say or do in opposition ever changes their minds about you. Many have been paid off, some actually believe they're doing the work of "god" and most just want to feel better about themselves, "powerful" and "superior" over someone they've been conditioned to believe is "below" them. There is nothing truly humble about any of those involved. First opportunity they get, they WILL stomp all over you, either with words or actions meant to humiliate and degrade you. From relatives to complete strangers. Everyone gets a hardon at some point to put you down and boost their own selves up.

I had to go out in public today. There wasn't a single place I went to where I wasn't dealt verbal cruelty by those passing by me. Everyone involved knows what's being done against me to the most extreme, cruelest degree. Not one ounce of empathy or remorse from anyone I came in contact with. No one. One black guy, trying to look like the world's coolest pimp stared straight ahead as he walked past me, but said loud enough for me to hear: "That's what you get. You deserve it!" While getting some food with my aunt, a Mexican-looking woman with a boy by her side, called me a bitch while standing behind me. I couldn't make out what else she said. But when I turned and moved away after putting my order in, it was impossible not to notice the proud smirk on her face, and she kept watching me out of the corner of her eye. Lucky for her, I'd forgotten to carry my blade on me. It's probably a good thing I didn't. In the mood I was in, I would've made a scene more than likely, ensuring the cops would be called to haul me away for attempted murder. People think my anger and rage are something to play with, until it isn't. Her little boy, who looked about 12, had stared at me for a moment too, a smirk on his face as well, and yes, I'll admit, I did snap at the kid asking what he was looking at. Unlike everyone else, I own up to my shit. He never did answer, his smirk just kinda deepened as he turned away.

I've gotta start wearing my body cam again. People aren't so bold and "brave" when I'm all suited up collecting evidence to share across social media.

Of course when the B.Y. Neighbors realized my mind kept playing on some of the cruel words aimed my way, they snatched it up to play on it, adding it to their V2K rhetoric as well as hyping on the lies they choose to believe about me. I had to deal with a lot of shit today, there were more instances of people talking at me as I'd walk by them but those are the most memorable. I couldn't make out in totality what others were saying anyway.

The B.Y. Neighbors are in the backyard smoking weed and talking loud. They've got company over, sounds like. They like to talk and act even bigger and badder when they've got their friends gathered around. Yet the 3 times I showed up at their house, nothing but crickets. They didn't say shit, that last time they hid behind the curtains. It was obvious one of them was home and aware I was on their property. Yet out of all the sick, evil shit they do against me, not a one of them could confront me in person. Only hide like the typical cowards they are.

Funny how that works. I don't need a crowd, don't have a crowd, it's always JUST ME when I breach the scene because I'm a strong ass bitch. I don't need groupies backing me up to make me feel bigger and badder about myself. All I've got is ME and there is still no one who can take me without hiding behind the fake ass bullshit of the Program, throwing rocks and hiding their hands to keep themselves covered because they know I'll physically fuck them the hell up if they got in my face with their shit and didn't have enough sense not to keep moving like the scared bitches they are.

Anyhow, I heard a young sounding dude shout out, "Yeah, I love pedophiles! I know how to handle you!" I didn't even respond. Just cued up one of my favorite reality tv shows as a distraction. Now more than ever, the masses are pumping up that lie. Every time I think on how I once wanted to get married and have kids of my own, they jump all over it calling me "sick" and keeping with their stupid accusations, all lies. I'd have more respect for these people if they just came right out and said they're doing all this extra evil shit against me because they simply don't like me as a person, my personality is just too aggressive and confident for them. They USED to call me a big ass bully for the way I'd defend myself and since I've never been perfect, in a sense I probably did come off as a bully in the past to different people once I'd snapped and had enough of bullshit. It'd make more sense for them to come at me for that than to hype over some false ass lying ass shit they've gotta make up to try and "justify" the vile shit they like doing against me. I really would have more respect for them and understand shit just a little, but nope, they just hype up the lies so it's whatever.

I just sat back on the inside watching and listening to shit go down all day, eating it all while trying to carefully mask my feelings. Once they force you into this position, you have to learn to stomach a lot of shit you normally wouldn't. Not because you want to, but because you know if you fight back the way you really want to, you're gonna be in prison for the rest of your life. Something they all want. It's always just a matter of whether it's worth it or not.

I'm not dead on the inside, but today definitely opened my eyes a little more. These people WANT to believe the lies, to make me out as something I'm not and they're going the extra mile to make shit look the way they want it to look by still Sickening me out everyday with their DEW's. They want to take you all the way down, and as a T.I. you have to fight to bring your own self back up. To better yourself from all the abuse they constantly put you through, and put your body through with no remorse, all because of a damn lie they want to beef up to serve their own corrupted agendas. Sometimes they claim it's all merely a "game" and I'm "losing." Other times they say it's "serious" and my life's in danger. I no longer believe and damn sure don't trust anything coming from their end. They're snakes; they switch up way too much, and snakes are never worth trusting because their hearts ain't right. They don't even see themselves as needing to change. They see nothing wrong at all with what they do to me on the daily. Abusers can only change if they want to change. These people don't want to change. Hurting someone they believe they can get away with it against is way too much "fun" for them. Yet they call ME evil.

Yeah. Rethink that.

And to think, the REAL reason I'm enduring this hateful bullshit is because I didn't choose the man who signed me up for all this. All of this because I made the wrong move in walking away from him? THEN when I came back, several times mind you, he played me like a damn fiddle to further play into the shitstorm HE started in signing my life away.

Yeah, I've definitely learned a lot about humanity, especially today.

And when I make it in life ending up better than I've ever been before, I'll say it right now, I don't want any of the people battling hard to make me feel like shit all day everyday trying to kiss my ass. Nope. Save it. Don't try and explain yourselves when the time comes, don't flip the script. Just remember your endless lies andwhat you're doing against me NOW. Because the only forgiveness you'll ever get will be from God.

Not from me.

And Michael, you damn sure better watch your back, Backyard Neighbor from Hell. I've got a complete hardon for taking your ass out. Fuck going after Brinley, YOU will be my first target. Keep thinking I'm playing. I'll show you a demonized stalker. You'll see one day, and you won't see me coming until it's too late. Remember this shit you keep putting me through. Remember it.