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foxxygold-blog · 5 years

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South Park High School Jokester

Chapter ~ 1

“Butters, there is no way the new kid did that. You probably making shit up,” Stan muttered with a sigh walking with his group of friends towards the new kid’s house. Butters, the young blonde man who had visited your house just the day before was stammering and looking nervous.

“I’m not making it up! I could feel the base in my bones while the music was being blasted, and they had, t-they had these huge bongs while screaming at us!” Butters cried in agony, doing his best to convince his friends what he had seen. All the others just rolled their eyes, there was no way someone like that just moved in. Sure, South Park was known for the unknown showing up but the people were normally, well, normal.

You quietly poked your head out from behind your curtains and could see a bunch of boys making their way down the street. Seeing the young blonde boy from the day prior, you gave a hum of happiness and closed your curtains. This time, you decided, you’d play another joke on all the new guys. This one would be more tame, as to not scare away some of your new probably friends. Your room was still littered with plenty of boxes you needed to unpack, but all you had pulled out was a bunch of your gag gifts you’d gotten from friends. You pulled out the iconic horse's head and starred at its black, dead eyes before slipping on the mask.

Since yesterday, your mother had taken the stereo and moved it downstairs, though it was yours, she liked to use it to play music for the company when they were over. Before the boys could get there, you grabbed your phone and raced downstairs, quickly plugging in your phone and letting it connect before search through your music library and finding the folder that said “Ironic Memes” on it. Scrolling through each song, you finally found “Trapped in the Drive-Thru” by Weird Al Yankovic and fast forwarded it, keeping it paused at just the right timing. You looked at yourself in a nearby mirror and adjusted the horse mask appropriately and stood at the front door. Your mother, coming in from the backyard stared at your back for a while, trying to figure out you were doing before shaking her head and deciding it wasn’t worth the time of her day to figure out what you were doing.

Soon enough the knocking on the door sounded and you couldn’t help but hold back your giggles, taking in a deep breath and holding it to hold back your laughing before answering the door.

Stan looked around at the top of the house with a hum, hearing the door open, he opened his mouth to speak before looking at who answered the door and froze. There you were, standing in some oversized pj’s your favorite band scrawled all across the pants and a boring, plain grey t-shirt with a horse mask on. The silence seemed to go on forever, all of his friends standing quietly behind him, questioning the situation and what was going on. Just as Stan opened his mouth, you hit the play button on a little remote in your hand; the song picking up you had set it on.

“But he looks at me.” You paused it again, watching the boy startled by the sudden music. Watching him move and about to say something again, you started it back up again, inching closer to him.

“And I look at him.” Pause.

Stan took a nervous step back; you could the blonde shaking from where he stood. He truly did not understand what the hell you were doing.

“And he looks at me.” Pause. Another inch closer.

“And I LOOK AT HIM!” The rubber plastic of the horse's open mouth was now kissing Stan’s face as he and all the other boys looked at you like you were crazy. Soon enough your mother came running over and shoved you backward, muttering and begging for apologies as she unplugged the stereo and kept you shoved behind her. You couldn’t help but fall on your butt and laugh, rolling around with the horse mask still on.

“What the absolute fuck,” the green hated one yelled in confusion.

“I’m SO SORRY, about this you see, they… Ugh! Damn it (y/n) introduce yourself normally for once!” Your mother demanded as she turned back to your rolling around figure. You sat up and sighed, blowing a raspberry at your mother before standing up and pulling your mask off and tossing it onto the couch. The guys all seemed to stare at you, no longer in shock but mostly in confusion.

“My name is (y/n) and I live here now. I’m kinda gonna go to your high school unless you guys go to a different one. I like to mess with people if you couldn’t tell,” you smiled.

You could hear one boy in the back losing their shit, and a sudden wave of embarrassment ran over you. Maybe they were laughing at how you looked? Or maybe your joke was really lame? You rubbed your arm nervously, growing embarrassed as the laughing in the back continued.

“S-Sorry if that joke was really lame,” you muttered. God, you hadn’t even been here for a week and these guys probably thought you were really lame now. Your image at school was going down the shitter faster than you thought it would. Though, it wasn’t like you really cared about your image at school. All you cared about, was not being bullied or picked on, and you were chill with that. If word got around your jokes were old, washed out, or even lame? Well, guess it was time to just yeet back home to where dad lived.

“Lame? Are you fucking kidding me? That was hilarious! All of their faces? Like ‘what the fuck is going on?’ and then you kissed----pft HAHAHAHAHAHA.” The largest boy in the group was almost doubled over laughing, stopping his feet and holding his stomach as he laughed his heart out.

“Sorry for our shock we just um.. We didn’t know you would greet us like this, nor did we really know that you were um.. A girl?” Green hat spoke up again, looking around confused.

“You see, our friend Butters here told us about his run-in with you the other day--.”

“You scared the Jesus outta me and my parents! I thought I peed my pants,” the blonde cried.

“You looked like you did when I saw you and your parents run outta here,” you muttered with a small laugh.

You rubbed the back of your head before sighing, your mother grabbing and pinching your ear out of nowhere caused you to cry and whine, grabbing her wrist and begging her to let you go.

“Apologize,” she demanded.

“Ow, FUCK! Okay, I’m sorry!”

“For what?”

“For making you make out with the horse mask!” The pudgy one began laughing harder.

“AND?!”

“Gah, fuck this hurts! And for scaring you and your parent's blondie, those were fake bongs! It was a MEME—FOR FUCKS SAKE LET ME GO WOMAN IT HURTS!” Your mother sighed, letting you go before making you face her.

“You will go over there and apologize to his parents. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes ma’am,” you groaned. You turned to the boys and hummed.

“It’s cold out there. You can come in and sit in the living room till I’m dressed and then we can get the old introductions outta the way. As you know, my name is (y/n), have fun waiting for me.”

You galloped upstairs with a sigh as the boys entered the home and took a seat in the living room or kitchen. You quietly entered your room and hummed, going over to the half-open box of clothes and pulled out whatever was on top. You lazily tossed on a plain t-shirt that wasn’t used for sleeping in, your pair of favorite jeans, and a jacket meant for going out in cold weather. You slipped on a pair of fuzzy and thick socks before grabbing your shoes and slipping them on. You looked in the mirror and lazily fixed your hair so it was presentable and made your way back downstairs. Your mother was quick on her feet to present warm beverages and snacks. You rolled your eyes and shrugged on your coat quickly before stopping at the end of the stairs.

“Now, you be nice to those people okay? We just got here and I, as a grown adult, would like adult friends not scared off by their kid,” she smiled. You hummed, smiling back and giving her a quick hug as she kissed the top of your head and shoved a plate wrapped in plastic too you. Looking down, you hummed, moms famous baked goods. These won over just about anyone.

“I promise I will, I love you, I’ll see you when I get home if these guys don’t win me over and show me around town.” You nodded your head toward all the boys who, visibly, looked quite uncomfortable, except for the tubby one. Your mom gave you one last hug before you moved and opened the door, staring the boys down in your own way to tell them it was time to go. As they quickly emptied their cups and thanked your mother for the drinks and snacks, they ushered themselves out before stepping out into the freezing cold.

As the last one out of the door, you shut it carefully and checked your pocket it for your phone, reaching back inside and jack it form the stereo before declaring you were now ready to go.

“So, who first? I guess the blonde kid since I made him almost pee his pants in my house,” you smiled. Watching him grow embarrassed and uncomfortable, he rubbed the back of his head nervously while smiling.

“Everyone calls me Butters, my parents' names are Stephen and Linda. They aren’t angry at you for what you did, but they were, concerned,” he muttered. As you reached up to the front door, you knocked on it softly, quietly tapping your foot and waiting for an answer, deciding it would be a polite thing to do instead of asking Butters to waltz you straight into his home and up to his parents.

As his parents opened the door, you gave them a shy smile and gave a slight shrug of your shoulders.

“Sorry Mister and misses….?”

“Stotch and it really is no problem at all dear. We were just, quite spooked,” Linda spoke with a gentle laugh. Stephen sighed softly before carefully taking the case and looking it over.

“What is this,” he asked.

“Oh, those are my mom’s famous baked goods; there are a couple of different ones in there. The cookies are the best. Please, don’t be afraid to come over and talk to my mom, she gets lonely without any friends,” you said with a smile. The two adults simply smiled and thanked you for the apology, explaining that they just had been spooked and wanted to make sure their son wasn’t about to become friends with someone who was an actual drug user. You explained to them the only drug you used was life, and you got mega high off of it. That and your anti-anxiety medication.

After accepting your gift, everyone turned around and backed themselves onto the sidewalk, the sound of an occasional car going back caused you to shiver at the extra cold wind you didn’t need feeling.

“Right, so my name is Stan. You know, the one you made make out with the horse mask,�� Stan mused with a smile. You gave a few chuckles, apologizing to him now for having that happen before he waved his hand dismissively, explaining how it would be a first meeting he wouldn’t forget.

“Green hat is Kyle, the tub of lard over there is Cartman, and the orange parka is Kenny. He’s a lady killer, not literally though. He likes to girl hop.”

“I’m not fucking fat!”

“Please tell me you aren’t going to do the freshman fifteen,” you muttered while pointing at Kenny. His only response was a smirk and you could only roll your eyes. He suddenly moved in close, grabbing your hands and starring you down with a coy smile on his face.

“You wouldn’t want to be my first victim, would you,” he muffled. You laughed, easily slipping from his hands and pointing at him.

“Good joke, but I’m a junior. Soon to be senior my guy,” you hummed. Butters seemed to smile a bit.

“Well, then that means you’ll be in our graduating class! Oh, I hope that means we can be friends,” Butters spoke. You looked at him confused, suddenly feeling a weird spike of nervousness shoot through your system. You hummed, looking down at the floor and looking at the cracks and holes in the cement beneath your feet. You gave a little kick to some snow before glancing up at all five boys before you before smiling nervously.

“D-Does this not make us friends..? I’m sorry, I’ve been friends with the same people for so many years,” you blabbered. Oh god, word vomit. You hated it when you began to word vomit. Quickly trying to shut yourself up, you chewed on the zipper on your jacket, grinding it painfully in your mouth to keep yourself from talking again. Stan looked a little surprised before chuckling, suddenly play-punching your shoulder.

“Of course dude! Oh, that is, if you don’t mind me calling you dude.”

“Not at all, as long as none of you mind me calling you weird things that relate to the internet and the memes it produces,” you shrugged your shoulders.

“No, I don’t think we’ll mind at all.”

“Great, now show me around this dump. Or maybe even new people.”

Okay, so maybe getting to know people wasn’t going to be such a pain in the ass after all.

#South park #South park reader insert #reader insert #Stan Marsh #Butters Stotch #kyle broflovski #kyle brovlofski #Eric Cartman #kenny mccormick #fanfiction

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