Reach

Your voice wakes me and I find myself drenched in a cold sweat I used to reach out in these moments in the dark In these moments of panic and catching my breath To remind myself I’m not alone Yet, now I find myself Completely alone Panic sits in, hyperventilating begins I breathe shallow breaths... in ,out,in,out until I have to sit and clutch my chest I wait for the feeling to pass ...and no sooner will it That I find myself waking in that cold sweat again I stopped driving As it tore my heart apart Each time I’d reach for your hand And found it vacant in your seat... I used to worry putting your feet on the dashboard Would cause an injury to you Now I worry not telling you to stop Will cause an injury to me I walk up to our door Past gardens of red, purple and blue Gardens planted with great love And an attentive you I hate coming or going I’d rather never move Not moving hurts just as much though As I’m surrounded by a void A hole so deep and infinite It swallows you whole With no mercy, thrusting memories With each look I take What’s on the tv? I can’t check now without you Something on the table , made once by you What’s in the kitchen... Just the foods that we once shared I’m shredding into pieces Sometimes I wish I’d just fall Fast, quick...straight down the stairs   You won’t speak to me, I guess I understand But from where I am sitting Your reaching out would be my mercy In this dark and blackened land Just a word here or there A how are you or hi Anything to lift me up From this pending demise

Happy birthday @jakestonne !!!! Can’t believe how long it’s been since I first met you, more honestly you crashed into me. Hahaha. But today you turn 19 and I’m glad to be able to spend another wonderful year with you! I love you Hun and I’m so glad you came into my life. :3 Hope today will be an amazing crazy fun filled day and that maybe you’ll be able to fill that bottomless pit of yours!!😂