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be-the-spark-flyboy · 3 years

Text

Meant To Be [part 1]

A/n: missed last week buT NOT THIS TIME WRITERS BLOCK😤 written for @autumnleaves1991-blog writer wednesday

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Finn (modern au)

Warnings: swearing, pining, BB8 is a snarky 4 yr old, cuteness, some thirty thots, I don’t know how toddlers speak forgive me, barely proofread, age gap (Finn is 25 and Poe is 34)

Word count: 1.4K

—-

Poe was so tired. He could feel the sweat rolling down the back of his neck, the sun beating down on him mercilessly as he slammed the trunk of his car close a tad harder than necessary. A tiny head peaked out from the passenger seat at the noise. Poe grimaced.

He was really looking forward to handing over Beebee to Han and Leia for the evening and get some much needed rest. But now he was practically stranded in the middle of a desert, sand as far as his eyes could see and a flat tire, puncture kit nowhere to be found.

Dragging his feet back to the front, he dropped heavily onto the driver's seat, huffing in frustration. The radio was playing a pop song he may have heard sometime in passing, but hey, at least the air conditioning was unaffected and they had more than enough snacks packed for the trip. The last thing he needed was a hangry kid crying from the punishing heat.

Said toddler turned to look at him and he snorted at her serious expression and his aviators looking comically large on her small face. Beebee smiled back. "Now are you going to call grampa Han?" she asked.

"Looks like I don't have a choice," he sighed, prompting a round of giggles from Bee.

"He's going to be mad,"

"Little lady, do you think it's funny when your dad gets yelled at by that old man?"

"I'm gonna tell him you called him old man," she giggled again.

"No you won't,"

"Yes, I will," she told him with conviction.

"Snitches get stitches," Poe lurched forward tickling her sides making her squeal with laughter.

"I'm gonna tell him!"

---

"You always get the same thing! Try something new," Rey groaned.

Finn smiled pleasantly at her irritation, cheerfully replying, "Nope," as Rey parked her ancient looking pick-up truck outside the ice-cream parlour. "And if you get me anything but butterscotch I'll steal your keys," he threatened.

"And then what? Walk home by yourself?" Rey laughed, slipping out before Finn could issue more stupid threats. He pouted in his seat, watching his roommate happily skip into the shop.

Fridays were Finn's favourite. Classes end early and it was his off day too. More often then not Han lets Rey off earlier at the shop so he gets to spend more time with her as well. It was just perfect.

The phone on the dashboard starts to vibrate not a minute later. Finn recognized the caller ID and picked it up. "Hello, Solo,"

"Rey not there?" came the gruff reply.

"Nice to hear from you too, I've been good, how about you?" He asked cheerfully. Maybe the fact that he wasn’t face to face with Han Solo made him a little more bold than usual. Rey swears he is a teddy bear under all that grumpy personality but Finn was yet to be convinced.

"Not in the mood, big deal," the old man huffed on other side.

"I can take a message," Finn folded. Best not to push him too far.

“My idiot godson got himself stranded out in the desert without a puncture kit. I need Rey to go help him out,”

“Aye aye, captain,”

---

Bee was adorably dancing along to the Peppa pig theme song on her god-knows-how-many episode on the iPad propped up against her knees. Exhaustion was pulling at Poe’s eyelids as he fought to keep them open.

It had been almost an hour since he made that absolutely not fun at all call to Han, who spent fifteen whole minutes lecturing him on the importance of being prepared, especially with a toddler dependent on him. Thankfully Leia had interrupted with an excuse of wanting to talk to Beebee.

Then they had waited and waited. He had already gotten out of the car to stretch his legs about three times, not more than a few minutes at a time, too scared he would melt right into the ground from the heat. One particularly long blink of his eyes later, he noticed a battered looking pickup truck approaching and thought dear lord let them be my savior.

The truck parked on the opposite side of the road and a young woman in a tank top and grease stained jeans hopped out. Must be the one Han called Rey. Poe dropped a kiss on Bee’s forehead, asking to her to stay inside. He pushed the door open and— very nearly tumbled to the ground in his gay panic.

Another person stepped out of the truck, a man maybe a few inches taller than the woman. And goddamn, he was fine. The black band tee stretched just so around his chest and Christ, those biceps.

“You must be Han’s godson,” Rey’s voice snapped him out of his gawking. God, he must have been so obvious. For all he knew, the guy could’ve been Rey’s boyfriend.

Poe slapped on a polite smile before offering his hand. “Poe Dameron. Nice to meet you,”

“I’m Beatrice Dameron, but everyone calls me Beebee,” said a voice in an adorable toddler drawl. When the hell did she get out of the car? Was he really that distracted? “Nice to meet you,” Bee offered her hand mirroring him.

Rey crouched down to take her hand. “That’s a nice name. I’m Rey,”

“I asked you to stay in the car,” Poe hissed after Rey went to get the spare tire.

“I didn’t say yes,” Beebee answered before skipping away after Rey. Are four year olds even supposed to be that sassy? An amused chuckle drew his attention back to the handsome stranger.

“Cute kid,” his smile rivaled sunshine— shut up, inner-monologue.

“You’d think that, but before you know it she would have you wrapped around her little finger and you can’t say no to her,” The handsome stranger laughed again and something fluttered in Poe’s chest at the sound.

“I’m Finn, Rey’s roommate,” Oh goodie, not boyfriend then. “You new to town?” Finn asked. God, even his name was perfect.

“Technically, yeah. But it’s fortunate I got transferred somewhere with people I know, ya know,”

“What do you do?”

“Flight instructor at the airbase,” Poe shrugged nonchalantly. It was a brag, he knew it and judging by the arch of Finn’s eyebrows, he thought it was impressive too. “What about you?”

Before he could hear Finn’s answer, Beebee came barreling into Poe, screaming, “I’m gonna be a mechanic when I grown up!”

“That’s great, honey,” Poe lifted up his kid into his arms. Rey walked up behind her.

“You’re all set,” Poe looked at her on surprise. That was fast. After thanking the her for the help, Rey and Finn departed. He sighed forlornly. If only he still had game or time to date.

“You ready to leave now?” Bee nodded her head vigorously. There’s only so much desert one can tolerate.

—-

Han failed to mention his idiot godson was hot. Quite honestly, ‘hot’ wasn’t even doing justice to the head full of dark, gravity-defying curls either. Finn groaned out loud, tipping his head back into the head rest.

“He’s a pilot, Rey,” Rey straight up laughed at his pathetic whining. But Finn paid her no mind as usual. “Do you think he has those uniforms Air Force officers wear? I bet he looks so sexy in them,”

“I don’t know, you could just ask him,” Rey stated.

“Hell no! He has a kid, what if he’s straight? Or worse, what if he’s married?”

“Don’t say you didn’t see him checking you out! Besides, he wasn’t wearing a ring,” Finn briefly wondered when Rey got so observant.

“He wasn’t checking me out!” Finn spluttered.

“Oh ho ho, yes he was,” Rey exclaimed. “Very nearly drooled, too,”

“It doesn’t matter,” he deflated, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m probably not gonna see him again after this anyways,” he lamented.

“He’s Han and Leia’s godson, of course you’re gonna see him again,” as if on queue, Rey’s phone dinged again. “See who texted?” Finn skimmed through the message Han sent and groaned again. “What?”

“Han invited us to dinner, apparently Poe’s gonna be there too,” Finn swore Rey’s answering cackle could be heard for miles.

—-

#writer wednesday #finnpoe au #finnpoe #stormpilot #poe x finn #poe dameron #finn star wars

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queercapwriting · 7 years

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I'm so sorry if this is inappropriate, but I've been hella depressed for a few months and trying really hard not to do anything to myself. I was wondering if you could write something with Kara dealing with that and Alex/Maggie helping her? You totally don't have to and I'm so sorry if this is uncomfortable you can totally just ignore it. Your writing has been very comforting to me so thank you for that either way :) I hope you have a great day!!!

Oh sweetie, there’s nothing inappropriate about this at all! I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling, but I am extremely proud of you for reaching out and asking for something you want: that’s wonderful!!! I’m humbled that you asked me, and I hope I do justice to your vision. Sending you all my love

She tries not to think about it. She tries really hard.

She tries not to dwell on it. She tries really hard.

She tries not to show it. She tries really hard.

She fails.

And she succeeds.

Until she doesn’t.

Until she can no longer stand under the weight of it, can no longer breathe in the fist of it, can no longer sleep in the midst of it.

It’s nothing in particular.

It’s nothing and it’s everything.

Her planet is gone. Her people. They’ve been gone for years, but still, they’re gone every day, and she’s tired.

They can’t find Jeremiah, they can’t take down Cadmus, and she’s stuck waiting, waiting, waiting.

And waiting is so much worse than fighting, because fighting is something. She can cope with the something.

She can’t cope with the nothing.

And lately, the nothing that is everything is all that she feels.

And it’s starting to chip into her smile, to wear into her laugh, to grate into her bones, to resonate in her voice, to deaden her reaction time to laser beams, to slow her response to punches, to dull her amusement at jokes that she thinks are probably funny, because everyone else is laughing.

Alex notices, and she notices that Alex notices, and that’s when she panics.

Panics because Alex notices, and Alex will try to help, and if Alex tries to help, she will have to talk about it. To deal with it. The nothing that is something, the nothing that is everything.

Kara panics.

And Kara turns to Cadmus for help.

The DEO can’t get a needle into her skin, but Cadmus can.

If she uses the DEO’s kryptonite-impregnated daggers, someone will notice.

But if she uses something scavenged from Cadmus – something that can carve her pain into her arm, something that can hope to reach into her heart, because the weight of everything and nothing is heavy and she can’t escape it, she can’t she can’t she can’t – they won’t notice.

But they do.

Because Kara doesn’t notice Maggie noticing – noticing the droop in her shoulders, the delays in her laughter, the exhaustion behind her eyes – but Maggie notices.

And she nudges Alex’s arm, and Alex nods, because Alex knows, and they watch her closer.

They watch her closer, and they follow her when she steals a Cadmus blade on her own. They follow her, and they find her with the blade in her hand and a tear in her eye, and all Alex says is her name.

Just her name, her name, her name, her name that her parents gave her before they let their entire planet burn, her name that her parents gave her before developing a weapon that could so easily commit genocide, her name that her parents gave her before they exploded and left her, left her, left her.

But that’s not all it is. If it were, she wouldn’t be cradling a blade designed to puncture Kryptonian skin above her arm. If it were, she would be used to the pain.

But this pain, this is something else. This pain is reasonless. This pain is meaningless. This pain will not leave, because it’s not pain, but it is.

And all Alex says is her name, because Alex knows, even though Alex long ago chose a bottle instead of a blade.

All Alex says is her name, and she runs to her, and she takes the blade and she gives it to Maggie, and she gathers Kara into her arms and she rocks her and kisses her hair and she rocks her and she kisses her hair and she breathes her name, her name, her name.

Kara doesn’t know how long they stay huddled on the cold, hard ground, wrapped in each other, wrapped in each other, but eventually Maggie settles down on her haunches next to them, the blade tucked safely into her combat boots, one hand on the small of Alex’s back, one on Kara’s knee.

“You’re never by yourself, Little Danvers. Never.” Kara sniffles and stares and Maggie takes a deep breath and sighs, because Alex is crying and Alex is helping but Alex can’t conjure the words, not yet, so Maggie does, because she lives for the Danvers girls, her Danvers girls.

“Look Kara, you cultivate this image. And a lot of the image is true: your kindness, your generosity, your enthusiasm. You’re sweet and you’re almost frighteningly bubbly and you’re absurdly genuine. You really are. But you don’t have to be all those things all the time. I know you feel like you do, because that’s how people see you, so that’s how you feel like you have to always be, right?”

Kara blinks and tears streak down her face, and Alex and Maggie’s fingers connect on Kara’s cheek as they both go to wipe them away.

“But you don’t always have to be on your game. You don’t always have to be that girl. You don’t have to hide and you don’t have to suffer alone. You don’t always have to wear the same face. I mean hell, Little Danvers, look at your sister. She goes around with this badass reputation to uphold, but we know what a softie she is on the inside.”

Kara chokes out a laugh and she strokes Alex’s hair and Alex shakes her head with a small smile at the two women she loves most in the multiverse.

“But there’s nothing wrong,” Kara objects, because she knows she has more traumas than she has fingers and toes, but that’s not all that this is. This… this.

“There doesn’t have to be something wrong for you to feel like the world is ending, Kara. But you don’t have to feel that way alone. Ever. You get me?”

Kara smiles wetly and Kara nods, and she lets Alex hold her while Maggie presses a kiss to Alex’s temple.

“Anyone ever tell you that you’d make a good superhero, Maggie?” Kara asks as Alex pulls her to her feet, brushes her off, and wraps her arm around her to head away from this place. To head home. Together.

Maggie smiles and bumps her shoulder into Alex’s side. “This one tells me every day, for some reason.”

“Well good,” Kara says, her voice still thick with tears, but lightening now, lightening because she’s not by herself. “She should. Because you are.”

Maggie kisses Kara’s hand and Alex beams.

“Potstickers and pizza?”

“And ice cream?”

“Of course and ice cream.”

“Yes please.”

“Alex? Maggie?”

“Yeah Sis?”

“Thank you.”

“Always, Little Danvers.”

“Always, Kara. Always.”

#sanvers #sanvers fan fic #maggie x kara #supergirl fic #tw: self-injury

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