#i'm writing to myself bcs i reallyyyy wna finish writing that lil thing today. 11/14
Text
OH NO
#🌙.vent#i will delete this . very soon#it's nearly 7 am#i can't sleep n i'm on the verge of tears once more#why is it so hard to just rest....#i'm not even doing anything it's just so hard for me to let myself stop n rest#it hurts! i'm crying again!#ahhh i'm so confused n lost it hurts#if only i could just#no fuck i don't want to think of that more else i'll just cry more#it must be. bright outside now. class starts in less than an hour#ok i've been a bit down in general lately n overwhelmed but i have that under control#right now i think the tipping point is#i'm writing to myself bcs i reallyyyy wna finish writing that lil thing today. 11/14#little i say while it's nearly 7k words n i'm barely finished :/#this is the bad thing bcs wnvr i get started on smth it rlly has to be good enough for me#& goddamn i'm a slave to sentiment i'm a slave to the past as much as i hate to admit it#remembrance. change. those just#🥹 i write. too much. maybe obsessively at times bcs i'm so so afraid of forgetting? of loss? of being left behind?#i'm not sure at all n i'm also crying bcs ik ppl worry about me n i'm so sorry to let them down it just hurts so much#i need to fix my sleep. i need to. finish eating my food. i need to take care of my hygiene#i don't know why i'm like this why it's so hard to just do things for myself. hkdfjalkdsf i just feel so empty rn....#n it's always temporary there r times where i feel better genuinely n yeah but rn is Not one of those times definitely#i hate it! why can't i just be better! i don't have time to waste being sad or some bs!#but i'm crying rn.... reading writing i'm not sure what i'm doing anymore this is so dumb#i hate these moments sm bcs i know the problem. i know why it's there. n in these moments where im crying n all i just cant help but#feel so helpless. fuck i hate it wnvr i think i only have worth if i reach a certain standard. if i'm 'perfect' in some way#i've improved from years ago but it hurts still sm haha n then it's so hard to just feel real at times. i hate it so much#i think i'll. pretend i'm asleep for a bit then. i don't know. i'll do what i should today. n stop crying ffs i'm not usually like this
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
samdoodles
Nostalgicsummer
antibadnik-a
HERO APPROACHING!!
kasihka
Untitled
hhuyhuhgg-blog
Untitled
missstar-gazer
MissStargazer