Tumgik
#i'm sorry if this is all disjointed i have been typing for like an hour lmfao
grovekeepers · 6 months
Note
robin <3 i'd love to hear about robins own, personal views on his sex and gender, please!
Thanks for the ask, Fray!! (answering it gives me something to do while i wait for the electricity to come back on!)
I'm putting this under a cut, because I've been typing for a while now and I feel like this'll be a long one. I will add that I'm briefly mentioning an eating disorder under the cut, in case you or anyone else wants to back out of reading that.
For the longest time Robin didn't really have any views on his sex or gender. He had a lot going on as a neurodivergent kid/teen due to poverty and, well, the repressed queerness; was just out there functioning/surviving somehow and was in general just pretty miserable all around, so any discomfort about his gender identity/expression was just part of a big heap of everyday sensory overload. There really wasn't time for him to focus on or take a closer look at himself much, and besides, he wouldn't have known the terms needed to put it into words.
He developed a bunch of unhealthy coping mechanisms about All Of That (drugs, sex, an eating disorder, ...) and really spiralled for a while until he met this man called Murdoc, who sort of became a mentor to him, and set him straight again.
And if Murdoc's one thing, it's perceptive.
So while Robin and him travelled together for a while, he provided him with the space he needed to just take a breather for once. Maybe express himself for once. And the option to talk about his feelings instead of having to bottle them up. And most importantly, since his wife Cynthia is a trans woman, he taught him the terms he needed to put all that dysphoria related turmoil he had going on into words.
So really, up until that point Robin hadn't thought about it much. Not thinking about it meant not having to deal with it, he was just hoping all those weird feelings, whatever they are, would go away one day. But of course they wouldn't have if he'd just continued to keep on going like that.
Now that he'd talked those feelings through with someone and then went on to change up his gender presentation, though, things got a hell of a lot easier. Murdoc used the right pronouns for him, called him by the name they'd chosen together (one of his favorite wildshapes to use to spy on people is an odd looking robin, and they both decided it's a nice fit), and after a while of that, Robin began to cook up medicine (cough, testosterone) that would change his body.
And all of a sudden he just felt GOOD about himself for once. His body wasn't just existing to carry him through the days anymore, instead he actively liked looking at it. His voice didn't hurt his ears anymore, it just sounded right. There was growth and hair in the right places and muscles where there used to be softness that he'd previously tried to get rid of by starving himself down to the bones.
See, and only then is when he started to really develop views on his gender and sex.
He is and always was, by all definitions of the word, a bisexual man, even when he was still blocking out the thought and just hoping for the dysphoria to go away on its own. Gender non-conforming (if he can wear them in a masculine way, he still wears many of his old clothes because he can't afford new ones for example, and he's insanely fond of jewelry, be that piercings, earrings, rings, bracelets, ankle bracelets, waist chains, etc) and somewhat gentler than other men he's gotten to know so far, sure, but really not all that different. Transitioning, to him, was like a lifeline he didn't know he needed extended to him, but now that he's gotten a hold of it, he wouldn't ever let it go.
Masculinity can be expressed in very many ways, and his way of expressing it is being forceful like rumbling thunder and strong like a centuries old oak that you can shelter underneath. He'll bear the brunt of the storm for you and keep you safe. And when it's over, and you open your eyes, rather than the lashing rain, you'll see the beauty of the sun's first rays shining through the greenest leaves you've ever seen, while their warmth caresses you.
(One thing I'll say (and it is really just more of a game-related issue) is that his in-game model looks pretty unchanged in terms of testosterone changes even after all the mods I installed to get him a little closer looking to himself. It does unfortunately have a lot of people jumping to the conclusion that he's some flavor of non-binary or futch/butch (and leaving comments that make ME dysphoric at the end of the day lmfao), when in reality, looking at him would not really differentiate him from a cis man and I'm simply limited by the game. There is no room to doubt his gender if going off "traditional" (binary) characteristics. He does bind his chest sometimes, and he usually wears his clothes in a way that covers/hides the shape of what's underneath. Funny enough, I am currently working on a painting of him and I'm kinda hyped about the absolute physical likeness I'm achieving with it, so I'm adding a little WIP!!)
Tumblr media
7 notes · View notes
Text
As It Should Be ~ Lucy x Caspian
A/N: Hello lovelies, so this is well out of my wheel house. But thanks to Shadow and Bone I am well and truly back on my Ben Barnes Bullshit. Which included re-watching the Narnia movies and then I had some feels. I'm completely ignoring the books and this is way AU but I couldn't get it out of my head. So if there's any Lucian shippers out there, this ones for you. Spoilers for the movies.
Summary: Lucy had not been ready to leave Narnia. And Caspian had not been ready for her to go. Perhaps fate still had a plan.
Characters/Pairings: Lucy Pevensie/Caspian (everyone is of age, time works funny between the realms); Edmund Pevensie, Aslan
Warnings: Fluff, a little bit of angst, pining, spoilers for the movies.
Word count: 5800 (I don't know how it happened. I just had a lot of feels)
Tumblr media
Caspian’s voyage on the Dawn Treader had been a success on all counts. But in spite of his resolve to be a great king of Narnia and to treasure the lands and people he had been chosen to rule, the young king was sorrowful on their return journey. His crew had known better than to question him when he returned alone from Aslan’s country. Drinian put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and Caspian clasped it for a moment before giving him a meaningful nod. Drinian got the Dawn Treader sailing for home while Caspian ducked below deck for just a moment to mourn the loss of his friends. When he returned, his smile was not quite so bright as it had been when the king and queen of old had been on the ship.
The crew was happy to be going home, but they also felt the loss of their companions quite acutely. It had taken no time at all for them to love Lucy and Edmund. The younger of the Kings and Queens of old were kind and hardworking and had immediately treated them as old friends. Narnia they supposed was their great love. And while Eustace had taken some extraordinary circumstances to warm up to, he too was missed, and they all found the ship far too silent with Reepicheep’s running commentary.
Their return took nearly six months as they returned all those who had been taken by the mist to their home islands. So, while the crew was joyous to be returning home after nearly two years, everyone was weary when they finally docked on the shores beneath Cair Paravel. Drinian directed the landing team, as more sailors came to help them unload. Caspian gazed up at Cair Paravel in all its glory. It had been mostly restored before he departed, but now, it was back to its true grandure, he wished Lucy and Edmund could have seen this.
He had only a moment before his advisors were upon him, welcoming him back and informing him that a feast was already being prepared for his return. They clamored for his attention, luckily with good news. They each were reporting that peace remained and things had grown even more bountiful in the past six months. Caspian listened carefully making notes on what to discuss with them tomorrow, before finally excusing himself to clean up before the feast.
After what could only be described as the most delicious meal he’d ever had, Caspian took his time reacquainting himself with the halls of his castle. During his time away, the team in charge of the interior restoration had finished all of their projects, which included the portraits of the Pevensies at the height of their rule. He inspected each one closely, trying to find the familiar features of his friends in the older faces.
For the most part he could see it. Although it was odd to see them at that age - all older than his 23 years. Well, all but Lucy. She had been just shy of 21 when they tumbled back through the wardrobe. She was the only one who never mentioned how hard it was to go from being an adult back to being an 8 year old. But he suspected that she struggled more than she let on, though she would never tell her siblings while they suffered their own distress. His thoughts lingered on the youngest of the great kings and queens. He couldn’t help but wonder if his dear friend would look the same when she reached 20 again.
Her portrait hung beside her sister’s and one could easily spot the differences. Susan held a quiet beauty, befitting her title of Gentle. But even the stillness of a portrait could not tame Lucy’s wild beauty and adventurous spirit. He knew well the twinkle of excitement the artist had captured. It was one that never failed to bring a smile to his face.
Caspian had been captivated by Lucy during their time on the Dawn Treader. More than he’d been willing to admit, even to himself. Though he suspected Edmund had seen it. He’d even expected a brotherly talk at one point, since Peter was absent. But he merely smiled, and took every opportunity to let them be together. Drinian had also made more than a few subtle comments, but Caspian had chosen to remain silent.
While the young prince had had eyes only for Susan upon their first meeting in terms of amorous intentions, Lucy’s unwavering faith and goodness had endeared her to him. When she stood across the river with only a dagger in her hand, facing down an army with a smile he could see why she of the four was the Valiant. She was amazing, even at age 11.
Her return 3 years later, had only deepened that opinion. She had matured and Caspian found himself lost in her. He’d been telling the truth when he told her that he hadn’t found a queen as beautiful as Susan, but what he left out was that there had been none as fierce as her either.
The pair had spent every possible moment together – stargazing, checking maps, telling stories. He loved her stories. Queen Lucy the Valiant had truly been a queen of her people. While her siblings had often been on the frontlines of battle, Lucy had always been protecting the people – evacuating them, learning from the healers how to dress wounds that didn’t require her cordial. She was the most beloved of the four, even in the stories Caspian had heard before he met them. Though she would refute that claim a thousand times over.
Other stories were filled with tales of dancing with fauns and dryads. Mr. Tumnus was a frequent character, and Caspian could hear the heartache in her voice when she spoke about him. He would often take the opportunity to squeeze her hand in comfort, which she also responded to with a grateful smile. Edmund would often join in, offering tales of his own or teasing Lucy.
One time in particular, he felt the need to remind her of the time a suitor had come to court and she had been so used to dancing with the fauns during their revelries that she panicked when he had offered his hand for a formal dance.
“All you could hear in the ballroom was Tristan grunting and Lucy apologizing,” Edmund chuckled.
Lucy’s cheeks flamed red and she glared at her brother for a moment, before a smirk slid across her features.
“At least I didn’t end up in a fountain after my first kiss,” she shot back.
Edmund’s cheeks tinged ever so slightly, but his expression was wistful.
“She was lovely. And it was worth it. I hope she had a good life.”
“I’m sure she did. But I’m sure she missed you.”
The siblings shared a look, regrets and memories flowing through their minds. Once again, Caspian was struck by how much life and loss these two “children” had experienced.
Later that night, after confirming their course with Drinian, Caspian was ready to retire to the barracks area for a few hours of sleep. But as he passed his quarters which he had given to Lucy, he heard humming. Moving as quietly as he could, he neared the cabin, noting the slightly ajar door. Caspian couldn’t help the smile that crossed his lips as he watched Lucy dance to her own tune as she looked in the mirror, the steps somewhat disjointed. He slipped inside, leaning against the doorjamb, making sure she couldn’t see his reflection.
“Would you like a partner?” he finally asked.
Lucy jumped at the unexpected voice, whirling as her cheeks filled with color upon realizing she’d been caught.
“Caspian! I was just… Edmund made me remember and I thought I’d practice.”
“In case we have a ball on the Dawn Treader?” he asked, grinning wildly at her.
“Of course. I’ve been to many balls on ships,” she giggled before sobering slightly. “No, but there’s dances back home. And I’ve never been, but I suspect they don’t much care for the type of dancing the fauns and dryads do.”
The mention of home twisted in Caspian’s gut, but he pushed the thought away. He would enjoy what time he had with her. Each moment was a gift.
“Well, I don’t know how they dance in your world, but it always helps to have a partner. May I?”
She nodded, uncharacteristically shy.
He snapped to attention and made a formal bow, which made her laugh but she curtsied anyway before taking his hand. He pressed a quick kiss to her knuckles, before placing her hand on his shoulder. His right hand fell to her waist, he his left clasped hers firmly.
“’Ready?”
“Absolutely?”
He wasn’t positive, but they both sounded breathless.
He began to hum, counting the beats by gently tapping his fingers against her side. He gave it a count of 8 before he began to move. It was rough at first, they were both out of practice… and nervous if he was being honest. But after a few crushed toes, they found their rhythm and soon they seemed to float. Caspian waltzed her around the room, twin smiles adorning their faces. Before they knew it, they were simply swaying in place gazing into each other’s eyes.
“I wonder if Susan is dancing like this with her naval officer,” Lucy wondered aloud, regretting it the moment it slipped past her lips. “Oh, I’m sorry, Caspian. I wasn’t thinking.”
He chuckled and shook his head.
“Don’t worry, Lucy. I’m not upset. I’m happy that your sister is moving on with her life. No one deserves to be alone.”
“But you’re alone,” Lucy pointed out.
Not cruelly, more confused by his logic.
“I’m not alone right now. I’m with you.”
And I will take that, he thought to himself. Just this moment and whatever else I get.
“Susan and I are worlds apart. In more ways than one,” he added slyly.
Lucy gazed up at him, no longer swaying at all.
“Caspian, I-“
At that moment, the ship lurched sending her crashing into his arms. It lurched again and sent them both to the floor. A storm had reached them and they heard the crew members racing about on deck. They shared one more moment before sprinting into action.
Tumblr media
“Your majesty.”
His chief advisor’s voice jostled Caspian from his memories.
“Lord Pallburn. How can I help you?”
“You requested updates on the refugees and the five lords.”
“Of course. We shall speak on the way to my chambers.”
Caspian shot one last look at Lucy’s portrait before leading his advisor away.
Tumblr media
Lucy sighed quietly as she watched the happy couple spin around the dance floor.
Years ago, on a ship a world away, Lucy had been held like that. Her thoughts strayed to Caspian and his near obsidian eyes. She had thought of him often in the years since. She wondered how long it had been for him.
Was he married by now?
A father?
Dead?
No.
Her heart couldn’t bear that last one. She had to believe Caspian was alive and well and happy or she wouldn’t be able to carry on.
She shook the thoughts away and returned to the view in front of her.
Susan was absolutely radiant in her wedding dress. Her smile lit up the room as Tom held her in his arms, leaning down for a peck as the song ended. They held hands as they exited the dance floor to chat with their friends.
Peter had his younger daughter, Jane, balanced on the top of his shoes as he moved them about in a decent facsimile of a waltz. Lucy smiled as she remembered her oldest brother doing the same with her when she was much younger.
Edmund was sitting with his girlfriend Margaret and their cousin Eustace laughing quite merrily.
With the exception of her cousin, Narnia had taken on the golden tint of a fond memory. But a memory none the less. Her siblings had been content to leave it at that. Lucy could not find it in her to do the same. Narnia had always felt more like home than this world. A fractured childhood would do that to you she supposed. After all she had grown up in Narnia first.
She still knew their customs and constellations better than England’s. But she knew it wasn’t just that. Her heart lay in Narnia, or rather with the King of Narnia. Caspian had a way of making Lucy feel seen when others didn’t.
“Enjoying the party, Lu?”
She nodded as she looked to Edmund who had slipped into the seat beside her.
“It’s wonderful. Everyone is having so much fun.”
“Everyone?”
“I’m having fun,” she insisted, knowing Edmund could see right through her.
“Talk to me.”
She looked again to the dance floor, eyes flitting from couple to couple.
“Do you think that I could ever find that here?”
“Love?”
Lucy nodded again.
“What makes you think you won’t?” he pressed, avoiding her question.
“I can’t imagine finding anyone to share my life with like that. There’s so much I couldn’t tell them. I don’t know how you all do it.”
Edmund hummed in response.
“Narnia meant everything to me. It made me who I am, but the only one who needs to know about it for it to be real is me. And I’m lucky enough that I got to share it with you, and Peter, Susan, and Eustace. Margaret doesn’t need to know what made me the man I am. Only that that man is someone she wants to be with.”
Lucy regarded her brother carefully for a moment. He’d clearly put a lot of thought into this and she appreciated it.
“I guess that makes sense. I guess I’m not ready to admit that Narnia is my past. Even though I have to.”
They were quiet for a moment.
“Is that the only reason you think you won’t find love here?”
Lucy knew where he was going with this, and finally she sighed – more an exhale after holding one’s breath.
“I think I loved him,” she whispered, not needing to specify who “him” was.
“Loved?” he clarified.
“Love,” Lucy corrected.
“He loves you too for what it’s worth. I could see it. Clear as the Northern Sky.”
“I don’t think it matters much. We’re worlds apart now. He’s probably married by now. I’m not sure how I managed it, but it seems I’ve left my heart in Narnia.”
Edmund wrapped an arm around her shoulder and tugged her into his side. She leaned her head heavily against his shoulder.
“What has been lost, can be found. We just need to have faith about these things. You taught me that.”
Lucy smiled at the reassurance.
“Thank you, Edmund.”
“Anything for you. Would you like to dance? We can even pretend we’re at Tumnus’,” he offered.
Lucy shook her head, but smiled more genuinely than she had all night.
“I think I’m going to take advantage of the gardens, and get some fresh air.”
“It’s not like there isn’t air inside,” he joked making her roll her eyes.
“I’ll be back soon.”
Edmund nodded and squeezed her once more before letting her go.
“Be safe.”
Lucy slipped through the crowd unnoticed, as usual. After a few minutes walking through the gardens she happened upon the entrance to a hedge maze. Looking back at the lights of the reception, she took a deep breath and hurried into the maze, following the turns at random.
It couldn’t possibly be big enough for her to actually get lost.
Tumblr media
Caspian perched on the rail of his balcony, one knee up as his back was pressed against the palace wall twirling Lucy’s dagger in his hand. If anyone entered his chambers they wouldn’t be able to see him unless they stepped outside. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back against the stone enjoying the cool breeze off the Eastern Sea. He had chosen this room specifically for the view of the water. It had always calmed him, and now it held an even more special place in his heart.
In the morning, he would return to his duties as king and this journey would leave the forefront of his mind to make room for diplomacy and logistics. And if his advisors had their way, finding a queen. But for now, as the wind whipped around him, he could imagine that he was back on the Dawn Treader. And if he listened closely enough, he could hear Lucy’s familiar humming. He allowed his mind to run wild with memories.
When the humming only grew louder, even after shaking himself from the sweet memories, Caspian grew concerned. Alert now for possible danger, he scanned the grounds for the source of the sound.
The beach was clear. As were the cliffs to the north. But as he turned his gaze to the south, a flash of auburn hair in the garden maze caught his eyes. She was deep within the heart of the garden without alerting the guards which was no easy feat.
Fastening his sword belt on, he sheathed Lucy’s dagger which she had gifted him on the shores of Aslan’s country.
“I think you’ll need this more than I will.”
“It shall never leave my side.”
You shall never leave my heart had remained unspoken.
Not wishing to alert the guards, Caspian scaled down the side of the castle, jumping from the lowest window and rolling to his feet.
The wind was carrying the humming to his ears quite clearly, as though it was actively helping him find the intruder. At the edge of the maze he took a deep breath before stepping inside. He allowed himself to be led through the turns by the voice, although he was nearly certain it must be a trap. Surely it was a siren or some spell luring him with his heart’s desire. But still he pursued her.
A few times it seemed they were just on the other side of the hedge from each other, but he would round the corner and find only a dead end.
Finally, he caught a flash of lavender fabric whooshing around the corner and he sped up as well as he could while maintaining his stealth. Lucy’s dagger fit comfortably in his hand. Peeking around the corner to ensure she was coming, he waited until she had passed by before leaping out and grabbing her, the dagger pressed against her throat.
“Who are you? And what are you doing here?”
She froze in his arms.
“Caspian?”
The woman squirmed in his grip enough to see his face and in his surprise he let her.
“It is you. How on Earth did you get here?” she asked.
“Lucy?” he mumbled as he released her and she turned to look at him, giving him his first good look at her.
“Yes, it’s me. I know I look a bit different. But goodness, you haven’t aged a day,”
“Lucy,” he repeated before dropping the dagger and pulling her into his arms, burying his face in her neck.
She held him just as fiercely as if he would disappear if she let go for even an instant.
“I missed you so much,” he murmured. “I thought of you every day.”
“As did I. How long has it been for you?” she asked as she lifted her head to look at him, unwilling to break their embrace any further.
“Six months and thirteen days.”
Lucy huffed out a little laugh.
“Is that all?”
Caspian already knew it had been much longer for her. Years, he guessed, given how much she looked like her portrait.
“How long?”
“Six years. Four months. Eleven days.”
She’d been counting. In spite of knowing that Aslan’s plans for Narnia did not include her.
“Oh, Lucy,” Caspian sighed.
Years. She had thought of him every day for years. The knowledge made his heart beat faster.
“It’s okay. You’re here now. How on Earth are you here?” she asked again.
Caspian glanced upward, just to ensure he hadn’t been transported to her world, but sure enough his stars remained, twinkling down at him.
“Lucy, you’re in Narnia.”
Whipping her head around to gain bearings she didn’t know she’d lost, Lucy’s expression clouded with confusion.
“But how? I was at the wedding. I just stepped out for a few minutes –“ She paused and shook her head with a serene smile. “Things never happen the same twice,” she murmured. “Or four times I suppose. I’m not sure how it’s happened, but I am glad to be home.”
Caspian’s heart both clenched and soared at the word home. But he was still stuck on the earlier revelation.
“You were at a wedding?”
His mind raced as he took in her demure dress and artful curls.
Six years, his mind screamed. Even if she had thought of him, of course she would have found someone else in that time.
“Yes,” she affirmed absent-mindedly. “Of Susan will be so cross I’ve left her wedding.”
Elation.
“Susan’s wedding?”
“Yes.” Lucy’s face dropped. “Oh, I’m sorry, Caspian.”
“So you are not married?” he asked, ignoring the apology.
Lucy’s laughter was a balm to his soul.
“Goodness, no. Not even close. The closest I’ve come to marriage was holding hands with Dennis Macmillian when we were 17. And even that was mainly because I was slipping on the ice. I’ve never even gone for a stroll with a boy.”
Caspian smiled, pulling back just enough to offer her his arm.
“Well then, please, allow me. It would be a shame to waste such a lovely Narnian evening.”
“So it would,” she agreed, looping her arms through his. “Tell me everything I’ve missed,” she insisted as they walked deeper into the maze.
“There’s not that much to tell you. We’ve only just arrived back to Cair Paravel this morning. It took us several months to return everyone to their homes before we could return. Beyond that, I’ve just received reports of peace in Narnia.”
“That’s wonderful, Caspian.”
“I’m sure your time has been far more interesting. Tell me everything.”
“Longer doesn’t always mean more interesting.”
Caspian shot her a look of disbelief.
“I’m telling the truth. After the Dawn Treader we stayed with Eustace until the end of the War. After that, once Susan, Peter, and our parents returned, I went back to school. I learned how to become a nurse.”
“Did you now?”
“Mhmm. Top of my class even. It’s been fascinating to learn, although I still think the healers here have a better bedside manner. And goodness have there been days where I wished for my cordial on the job.”
“It sounds intense.”
“It is. But I love it.”
Her smile confirmed it.
“It suits you,” he agreed.
“Besides all that, not much has changed for me. I spend most of my time working or with my family, though that’s been difficult of late.”
“Difficult? Why?” he asked with a furrowed brow.
“They’ve all become convinced I’m doomed to become an old maid. Well, not everyone I suppose. Mainly my parents and Susan. Peter would prefer it that way, over protective as he is. And Edmund, well he just wants me to be happy.”
Despite her comments, the fondness she had for her siblings still shone through.
“I’m sure they all want you to be happy.”
“I know that. I just wish they wouldn’t keep trying to set me up. I think falling in love should happen naturally.”
She glanced up at Caspian who was watching her closely.
“As do I. So it sounds to me that you’re turning suitors down left and right.”
“Hardly,” she scoffed. “Although I think Susan believes that she’ll have a better chance at marrying me off now that she’s officially taken. They’ll have to settle for the lesser Pevensie sister.”
Caspian narrowed his eyes at the assertion, footsteps coming to a halt as he turned to face her.
“In what way lesser?”
“In every way,” Lucy laughed humorlessly.
“You are Queen Lucy the Valiant. The most beloved Queen Narnia has ever seen,” he reminded her, continuing on before she could argue with him. “You are amazing. You are in no way lesser.”
His words made her smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“That may be who I am here. But in my world, I’m just Peter and Susan’s little sister. An afterthought.”
Caspian hated to hear her talk about herself like that.
“Then everyone in your world must be fools. You are valiant and beautiful in every world.”
Lucy found herself unable to hold his intense gaze.
“I’m not beautiful like Susan.”
He lifted her head up with a finger underneath her chin, forcing her to look at him.
“Perhaps not. But you’re beautiful like you. And brave. And kind. And loving. And a million other wonderful things.”
“No one’s ever seen me the way you do.”
“It’s an honor to know you this way, Lucy.”
He reached up cradling her cheek before sliding his fingers into her hair.
“I love you.”
It was a relief to finally say it out loud, and her smile was well worth it.
“I love you too, Caspian. I have for a long time.”
He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers.
“I was so scared I’d never see you again,” she whispered.
“I was too. I was certain that I’d lost my chance. But you’re here now.”
“I am.” She looked around and somehow he knew she was looking for Aslan. “But I still don’t know why.”
“I’m sure Aslan has his reasons.”
“He usually does,” Lucy agreed with a smile. “I’m sure we’ll figure it out in time. For now…”
“For now, I’m just going to be grateful. And enjoy every second of my time with you.”
“I like that plan.”
They walked through the gardens for a time before Caspian escorted her up to the castle.
Tumblr media
Sure enough they spent the next few weeks enjoying their time together. In fact the entire kingdom rejoiced at the return of their queen. But with no indication as to why she was there, soon a quiet anxiety crept in.
Neither Lucy nor Caspian were willing to make too many plans when they didn’t know when she would be returning, so instead they focused on ensuring Narnia was well taken care of. Lucy helped Caspian reinstate the High Council so that every type of creature was represented. Caspian watched in awe as the land flourished and now that everyone had a voice they found it even easier to keep peace. In fact, many days it seemed there wasn’t much ruling to do at all. So he spent more time with his people than ever, which he loved.
And he grew to love Lucy more every day. He knew at some point that she would have to leave, to return to her family, but he also knew that he couldn’t bear to be without her. His decision was made, although he was sure that many would consider it selfish.
Which is why a year after she arrived, Caspian led Lucy into the maze he had found her in.
“This is quite lovely. We haven’t done this in a while. What brought this on?” she asked as they walked.
“Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. And I have a question for you. And I thought this would be the best place to ask it.”
She tilted her head in question, noting the slight nervousness in his voice.
“What kind of question?”
“An important one.”
They had reached the center of the maze and Caspian led Lucy to sit on the edge of the fountain that contained a stone carving of Aslan. He hoped it would bring them the Great Lion’s blessing.
He took both her hands in his as he sat beside her on the edge of the fountain.
“Lucy, my love, ever since I first met you, you have been a source of strength and someone who I have never failed to believe in. On our first adventure I learned never to overlook you, and I am eternally grateful for learning that lesson. Because it allowed me to see you for who you are on our second adventure. On the Dawn Treader, I fell in love with you. And the day I had to say goodbye to you it felt as if my heart would never be whole again. But by the grace of Aslan, you were returned to me. And I have spent the past year falling more and more in love with you. I’m not sure how long we have left in Narnia, but I don’t want to waste another moment without asking you to be my wife.”
She gasped as Caspian shifted down onto one knee.
“There is no other I would bind myself to. I love you, Lucy Pevensie. And my only wish is to have you by my side for as long as you’ll have me. Will you marry me?”
“Of course.”
She tackled Caspian to the ground in a very unladylike move, and kissed him soundly.
“Of course I’ll marry you.”
Caspian’s smile was brilliant as he reached up to cradle her face before pulling her down for another kiss. They reveled in their new engagement alone for a while longer before deciding to return to the castle.
They were nearly out of the maze when they saw a flash of golden fur.
“Aslan?”
Lucy took off after the lion and Caspian was right on her heels. He couldn’t help but wonder at the timing.
They made it back to the fountain and found the lion himself in front of his stone counterpart.
“Aslan, it is you.”
Lucy launched herself at him, burying her face in his fur.
“Hello, dear one.” It came out in a deep rumbling laugh.
Caspian knelt before Aslan, keeping his eyes on the ground.
“Rise, King Caspian.”
“Aslan, what are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to talk to you about your future, dear one.”
Caspian felt unease coil in his stomach.
“My future here or…?”
Lucy took a step back to stand next to Caspian taking his hand in hers.
“That is your decision to make, Lucy. Your heart longed for Narnia when you returned home. You had not been ready to leave it behind. Is that still true?”
She looked to her betrothed and considered her words carefully.
“I could leave Narnia. But I cannot leave my heart. I cannot leave Caspian. Not again.”
Aslan turned his massive head towards the king – looking at him expectantly.
“Caspian?”
The king lifted Lucy’s hand to kiss her knuckles, looking to her as he answered.
“Narnia was the only home I ever knew. But Lucy is the only home I will ever need. I would leave Narnia if she wished me to. If you would allow it,” he added as he finally turned to face Aslan.
“Caspian?” Lucy gasped at him.
Aslan seemed to nod so Caspian continued, looking back to his love.
“Lucy, in the past year we’ve changed Narnia. It is ruled by its people. As it should be. They don’t need a king. But I need you.”
Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, but there was no mistaking her smile.
“Are you sure?”
“I am,” he assured her.
Lucy kissed him for a moment, before turning to Aslan.
“Aslan, is it possible?”
He huffed a laugh and nodded with a shake of his mane.
“Yes, dear one. It is possible. All is as it should be with Narnia thanks to you. But you both must be sure.”
They shared a look before turning back to Aslan.
“We’re sure,” they said in unison.
“But we must not abandon Narnia this time,” Lucy insisted. “I want to say goodbye properly.”
“Of course. You two can stay as long as you like, you have earned that. When you are ready return to this fountain and take the path behind it.”
They both peeked around as the hedge directly behind Aslan’s statue opened up. If she listened closely Lucy could hear the music of the reception.
“You’ll be returned to when you left,” Aslan answered her unspoken question.
Lucy hugged him again and Caspian joined in this time.
“Thank you, Aslan.”
“Thank you, for all you have done for Narnia. It is better for knowing you, dear heart.”
Tumblr media
Lucy and Caspian were married after six months on the day before they stepped down and allowed the high council full rule over Narnia. Surprisingly, no one begrudged them their decision. Narnia was happy and they saw that they could rule themselves and be their own heroes.
Two years to the day after Lucy arrived, they said their final goodbyes to the land that had given them so many gifts, the dearest of which was each other.
Hand in hand they entered the maze and followed the turns to the center. With one last look at the great stone lion, they walked through the hedge behind him, coming out into a dark night. Lucy was once again in her lavender bridesmaid dress. Luckily she had had the foresight to have a suit made for Caspian so he would blend in.
“Shall we?” she asked, excited to see her family after so long. Well so long for her. Just moments for them.
“Are you sure I shouldn’t just wait here until after the wedding? How are we going to explain me just turning up?” Caspian asked, daunted by the new world around him.
It was louder than Narnia, and undeniably strange. Lucy cupped his cheek, and kissed him.
“The evening is nearly over. The others will want to see you. You were at the other party and we ran into each other in the garden. You’re an old friend from our time with the professor. And I insisted that you come say hello and congratulate Susan in person.”
“You’ve thought about this,” he teased, considering the plan in his head.
“Of course. It was the first thing I thought when you threatened me with my own dagger,” she reminded him with a mocking look.
“Oh really?” Caspian chuckled, quirking an eyebrow at her.
“Yes. Right after ‘he’s here. Maybe I get to be loved after all’.”
“You are so loved, my valiant Lucy. And I shall love you forever. In every world.”
She smiled up at him, blissfully happy.
“And I you, Caspian.”
They shared one more kiss before walking hand in hand back to reception. Everything was as it should be.
Tumblr media
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this. I've got loads of Ben Barnes feels lately and this is how I'm dealing with it lol. Thanks for reading!
73 notes · View notes