#i'm mad at myself for putting the icon on the bottom but it needed to be there
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This is the story of one Cambridge boy, who, despite all his privileges, felt betrayed by the world. He saw destruction in every corner of his life. He lost all he thought he could ever love, so he fell to his knees and asked God, "Why must you punish me? I'm far too handsome to not be in magazines!"
But God said nothing to me, so I resigned to my room and scrolled, weeping, to the bottom of my Instagram. I clicked furiously through every one of my tagged photos and learned nothing about myself. I asked every girl I’ve ever slept with to rate my performance, and the results were horrifying. I watched Mad Max: Fury Road with my mother to learn what masculinity means. I read the top twelve pieces of relationship advice from How I Met Your Mother on Buzzfeed. I threw out my 2-in-1 and bought separate shampoo and conditioner. I listened to Jerskin Fendrix every day for a month. I googled myself so many times, I started trending. I read back my love letters to southeastern French villages, and knew that I was really just writing about you. I was so busy trying to understand who I was that I forgot my dog's birthday; I'm sorry, Dylan. I woke up every day and had to re-remember all that had been taken from me. Like the whole of Groundhog Day combined with just the second half of 50 First Dates
And at one moment, I never felt more like I wanted to die in my life. And in the next moment, I never felt more like I needed to try in my life. To be who I know I could be. To be an outrageous rock and roll icon. To be a masterful lover. To be the best dressed guy in this Shoreditch venue. To be on the cover of So Young magazine in collage form. To be a well-regarded DJ of rare techno on vinyl only. To be the hero of my dope childhood dreams
So I put on fresh socks and a Kanye West album, and went to find my next calling, to turn the page in the book of my life. I bought a coffee table book about minimalism, and a new sweater. I cut my own hair badly and started using face scrub. I unfollowed every girl who posted pictures of healthy meals, and every girl who posted pictures of happy meals. I’m sorry, Henry. I gave myself a hilarious name on Facebook. I pretended to not know who Lil Yachty was. I told everyone I'd met that I'd never seen Black Mirror. I threw out my bedframe, and put my mattress on the floor. I destroyed my aeropress and started drinking instant coffee. I acted like I knew nothing about craft beer. I bitched about every group in South London. I am sorry, Sorry
And as I started to define myself purely by the things I hated, I knew I had become the antithesis of my 2016 manifesto. I was so lost in my plight to exist, that I forgot to live, and I forgot to love. And so learn from me, children. Be better than I am! Vanity plagues me, but it's not too late for you. I love you. Good night
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JJ HAS A MEME DAY
@bayouroyalty sent: “Get behind me NOW.”
JJ doesn’t listen but her head shoots up in the direction of the loud footsteps that had just come through the bar door. She and Hayley Marshall had agreed to meet here, to talk. But so far, JJ still finds that she’s coming up on nothing. Talking in circles, an endless web of Hayley keeping her and the information she needs at arm’s length. Her team is coming up on loose end after loose end. They’re all losing their patience and so is she.
The bar door crashes loud against the wall behind it. JJ swears one of the men is bearing teeth. His eyes are dark. She’s seen it before. In the alley.
“Like hell,” JJ mutters, her hand on her gun at her side. She stands, beside Hayley and address the group currently advancing on them. “Is there a problem here, gentlemen?”
#i'm mad at myself for putting the icon on the bottom but it needed to be there#you can move it#INTERACTION . hayley marshall / bayouroyalty#bayouroyalty#ARC . originals verse jj and hayley / bayouroyalty
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Based on a True Story
Summary: there's this boy who makes you super uncomfy and doesnt take a hit, but you're to sweet to tell him to back off. Katsuki Bakugou, the more blunt end of the friendship, is happy to tell him off and free you from that sorry bastard.
Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader
Warnings: possible tw, a lot of swearing and some pretty colorful insults, there are guys that are really fucking creepy, based on the actual events of February 7th, 2021 at around 10:30 pm
A/N: this was very very rushed, I just wanted to write myself some comfort real quick and go to bed last night and I didn't have time to properly edit! I'm really proud of some of the banter lmao, please enjoy and never be afraid to punt a ballsack! I'll add tags later🙄🙄🙄
A message popped up on your screen and your once neutral expression went sour. Slamming the face of your phone onto your pillow, you groaned angrily into your bedspread, catching the attention of a certain ash blonde sitting in your comfy desk chair a few feet away. Katsuki Bakugou, one of your best friends, gave a questioning glance but refused to meet his ember gaze
“What’s your deal?” He asked, not letting his genuine curiosity as to why there was such a pained look on your face, show.
You opened your mouth but paused.
Katsuki already knew about this boy and scolded you every time he saw his name pop up in your notifications, telling you to ‘fucking block him already’ for the umpteenth time. It wasn’t like you had feelings for the guy anymore, you were just too nice and polite to cut him off completely and tell him to go fuck himself.
The ash-blonde had already volunteered to do it for you, but you always said no because you knew he’d just find another way to contact you.
“It’s that piss baby again isn’t it?”
“Yeah…”
“Wow, did you just agree with one of my insults?”
“Suki, I’m about to take you up on your offer to tell him to go fuck himself.”
He snickered, “Now you’re talking sense. What the hell is that pansy bitching about now?”
You sigh and roll over on your back and Katsuki moves to sit on the edge of your bed.
“I cut him off for a while, I really did! It felt so good to be free of him, but then he got my number again and started bothering me a few days ago. I saw him at school yesterday and told him I wasn’t interested in dating at all and he was like whatever so I honestly thought he could keep it in his pants and we could just be friends but nooo! He calls me a simp for anime guys, I tell him to stop being a hypocrite because he used to simp for me and he was like “I still do. You’re the only one” yeah like I’m stupid enough to actually believe that!”
You paused to catch your breath, but before you could start speaking again Katsuki interjected, “Well, you are stupid…”
You socked him in the bicep and he hunched over laughing. You looked so fucking adorable when you got royally pissed at him.
“Oh go to hell.” You snapped, crossing your arms and continuing, “Anyway, this guy used to simp for my goddamn sister! Not only do I reject being a replacement for her, but if she rejected his sorry ass, that means he’s a huge piece of shit because she’s super picky.”
“I might’ve mentioned that once or twice-”
You punched him again to shut him up. “Plus he’s super creepy and gross and it always feels like he’s undressing me with his eyes and whenever he’s around I want to dive into a pool full of only chlorine and drink it. I’m just trying to coexist and just be nice to him but apparently, a female looking in his general direction means that they want dicked down by his micropenis. He’s so fucking dense too. Why can’t he see that I’m not interested, especially after I EXPLICITLY told him that?!”
By that point, you were on the verge of frustrated tears, bottom lip trembling just slightly with bottled up emotion.
Katsuki could see it.
You felt trapped in something you never signed up for and you’d do anything to get out. All of this frustration had been stored inside of you for so long and it just kept mounting and multiplying until you burst into tears.
“Goddammit, come here dumbass,” He growled, gathering you into a warm embrace, “You can’t keep all this bs inside okay?”
He let you sob into his shoulder, one calloused hand supporting the base of your neck and the other crossed firmly over your back so you’d feel safe and secure; away from the world full of horrible people and into a small one of just your best friend’s warmth and the sweet sweet scent of caramel.
“Why don’t you listen to me? You’re just too fucking nice to every shitty dickhead that sees you as an easy, fuckable target. Something really fucking bad is gonna happen to you if you don’t shape up and learn how to punt a dude’s excuse for a ballsack and tell him what you really think.”
You raised your head from the solace of his shoulder to look at him with big, reproachful doe eyes and whimpered, “I tried that!”
“Have you tried punting their fucking balls first?”
“No… that would hurt.”
“That’s the point.”
“But if I did it without reason I could get suspended or charged with aggravated assault!”
It was Katsuki’s turn to sigh.
“That’s not the point dumbass, the point is that you need to tell these bastards off when they start getting creepy. You know what? Why don’t you just fucking ignore their sorry asses in the first place!”
You sniffle and drag a hand over your cheek to dry your tears, then resume your position with your face in the crook of your best friend’s neck.
“I feel bad for them.”
“Well stop. I’m gonna call him now alright? After that, we’ll block his stupid ass on every fucking app, you hear me?”
You nod and hug him tighter as he leans forward to grab your phone and opens it with your passcode, swiftly finding his name in your contact list and pressing the call icon, then he tapped the speaker button and waited.
The call was picked up almost immediately and a voice on the other line said, “Hey cutie! I was just about to call and ask to see if you wanted to come over on-”
“She’s not here.” Katsuki cut him off with a dry snarl, “And last time I checked she wasn’t interested enough in your sorry ass for you to be calling her ‘cutie.’”
You could almost hear his lip curl in utter disgust.
“Who the fuck are you?” The voice asked, dropping its sickeningly sweet tone to something more appropriate in light of the previous insult.
“I’m her fucking boyfriend you dickwad-” You popped up from your haven in surprise, mouth open to sputter in protest but he put a finger to your lips and smirked, “who the fuck are you?”
“No fucking way that whore has a boyfriend-”
“Ex-fucking-scuse me? Shut your mouth, you mother fucking pussy, insult her one more time and I’ll fuck you up so bad you won’t be recognizable by the time you get to the hospital.” He snapped back, “She’s crying right now because you’re too dense to realize she doesn’t want any business with some horse-faced piss baby like you. Take the hint right fucking now you useless bastard so you don’t make the mistake of coming near her again because I. Will. Kill. You. Delete this number because she’s too sweet to block you herself, but I will.”
“Fuck man, I was just tryna get laid. She’s the one who started rubbing herself all over me-”
“I said delete this number. Damn, you are a dense piece of shit aren’t you?”
“Hey, I-”
Katsuki pressed ‘end call’ and blocked his contact, moving from Instagram to Snapchat, to any social app you had, and blocked him left and right until he was satisfied.
“Feel better?” He asked softly, tossing your phone aside and peeling you off.
You carded a shaky hand through your hair and wiped your eyes, giving him a watery smile and a nod.
“Why did you tell him that we were in a relationship?” You asked, voice on the edge of a taunt.
“To make him mad.”
“I mean, it worked, but is that the only reason?” You giggled.
“The hell are you insinuating?”
“Do you… possibly by chance… have feelings for me?”
You batted your eyes at him and he retched, but the smirk was still present on his handsome features.
“What’s it to you?”
You squirm a bit, but something pops into your head so you can stall a bit longer.
“I mean, you’re not THAT ugly-”
He responded with a simple, harsh flick to the forehead to make you whine and try to whack him, but he easily intercepted your fist and pushed you on your back, caging you in nothing short of a horizontal kabedon.
It was your turn to smirk, “Yenno ‘Suki, I could very easily… oh what was your phrasing? ‘Punt your fucking balls’ in this position…”
“Just shut up and tell me what the hell you want.” Katsuki snapped.
“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” You prod.
“You look like a pissed hamster when you’re mad.” He shot back.
“You smell like a fucking candy store after training.”
“You’re the dictionary definition of a dumbass.”
“You have a better hourglass figure than Yaomomo.”
“You're quickly becoming an extra.”
“Date me.”
“Fine.”
“Wait really?”
“It’s the only way I can kiss you, protect you, and keep you all to myself.” He shrugged, leaning in dangerously close, “You don’t fucking understand how hard it is to watch you prancing around with one failed abortion after another and watching you cry because they leave since you don’t want the one thing they’re after.”
“You’ve always been there for me ‘Suki… I guess I just took you for granted, and I’m really sorry.” You met his soft vermillion gaze with a meaningful and apologetic one and reached out to squeeze his hand.
“‘S okay. You’re mine now, right?”
You nod, smiling.
“So it doesn’t matter how dense you are anymore.” He smirked, laying down on your bed and dragging you down with him so you were tucked comfortably under his chin.
You grabbed the remote and flicked on the tv, preparing to turn on an anime you had in mind.
“What romance garbage are you inflicting on me this time?” Your new boyfriend groaned, burying his face in your hair.
“One that’s super sappy and romantic and sad just to piss you off.” You pouted, clicking on each letter to form the desired word in the search bar.
“Have fun with that.” Katsuki snarked, beginning to move away, but you stopped him by deftly pressing your lips to his.
You slowly pulled away, blushing furiously, but happy to feel strong forearms snaking around your front and crossing over your stomach.
“I certainly will.” You respond.
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Episode #8- “people are going to be blindsided and i'm people”- Vincent
Holy guacamole I feel terrible. On one end I have four people who decided to work together and on the other end are people they told I wanted out. I am at a bit of a loss here but I always like a challenge! I'm gonna go finish my thinking, see if it sticks, and go then voice it!
wow how am i even still here
because of my strong social connections!
just 7ish tribals until the end! that's so much...i have no idea what's about to happen over the next few weeks except that people are going to be blindsided and i'm people
a big part of my pitch to rizo and chris was that cheatham is a threat and he needs to go...which is why now that we're all together i'm in an alliance with all of them, as well as austin and noah. this six is absolutely not going to stick together but i'm in the middle so when it falls i'm not taking the hit!
annmarie and liam are cool as well, so ideally the merge vote is between sara and kyle. for me i would ideally keep kyle bc he seems less likely to try and blow up the game in a way which is bad for me, like i feel like he may help me down the line. so i'm going to try to push for that. however, neither annmarie or liam are worth saving at this time so if either of their names come up i'm going along with it
this is the first time i've merged in nearly a year and i'm ready to overplay and flop!
Right now Im in an alliance with...Austin, Noah, Rizo, Vincent, and Cheatham by the name of Bottom Feeders. Tbh its just irony at this poiint I am going to end up working with people I wanted out but hey that's Survivor!
(LATER)
My plan of action is to talk with Kyle, consider having a aide alliance with him and Rizo where we get AM/Sara/Liam out and then have BF target Cheatham and/or Noah or whoever in F8/F7..stay tuned!
(EVEN LATER)
Mark my words, this week is going to expose Austin! He has Liam/AM/Sara wanting him and then Bottom Feeders so no matter how this immunity goes and tribal, he will be seen sketchy to somebody.
Wow, So last week I decided what was going on bc i have the idol. If Gwen knew how to stop talking then maybe i would’ve. ANYWAYS, this week. So I got put in three alliances. Big Time Thrush (which I was already in from pre merge) which consists of Me, Noah, Austin, and Vincent. Then there is Bottom Feeders, consisting of Me, Noah, Austin, Vincent, Rizo, Chris. Basically Rizo and Chris made that bc they are on the bottom. I don’t trust it at all. Finally, the one that i’m actually sticking with, is The Frock Destroyers, which consists of Me, Noah, Liam, Austin, Ann Marie, and Sara.... JK i’m not working with that. There is a secret 4th alliance that is the same as the last one but without Noah. I know Noah is probably reading this. Basically, I don’t like the way he talks to me. Outside of the game, I would LOVE to stay friends with Noah bc i’m sure he is a great person. INSIDE the game however, i do not appreciate when someone tells me to shut up, calls me an idiot, or tells me i’m stupid. That is NOT okay. He never listens to my ideas and he acts like this idol, is his. This idol is mine PERIOD. I was his puppet early on because i was so busy with life shit. But now i’m realizing the way he is treating me/ using me. And revenge is gonna be awesome.
Ugh....this is like trying to choose which puppy is cuter when both are identical!! It doesn't WERK! Fricken the only people I really trust fully is AnnMarie and Liam but we can't get on the same damn page. AnnMarie leans more towards Rizo/Chris/Kyle but I have DEALT with them and I know how they are. And it's been confirmed that Kyle won't split from Rizo...he said it on call that they're tight. I like Kyle...don't get me wrong...but he leaks EVERYTHING (so do I...but that's different, right?) and twists and turns things. Yes, working with OG Thrush is risky AF, but so is working against the idol and with a [new] trio, some of which have ALREADY voted for you. I mean...I've done this before where I completely flip on my old 'tribe' to work with the other side and I've won...so it isn't impossible. I also generally just don't click with the other side (as in Chris/Kyle/Rizo) as well as I do with the noobs....so even if they are tight....I'm either on the bottom of the original Petrel or the original Thrush. Noah fence....but I like Thrush better and would rather lose to them than Petrel. And that's just the way it is!
So we gave Sara immunity, I want to use it as strategy to possibly have her like me again but we will see if it works. As far everything else, Austin wants Kyle/Rizo gone. I dont know where it leaves me in his ideal pecking order but Im not waiting around long enough to ask.
(LATER)
Nah, Im not accepting this. Im not waiting for Rizo to be voted out to make mends either. Im gonna get this Petrel chat going and maybe it is the one thing that can save him and me. Im not putting all my eggs into the Bottom Feeders basket just yet and sure as heck am not a out to welcome myself to the bottom of the barrel so easily
Wow...a lot has happened.
My alliance with Cheatham, Noah, and Austin supposedly merged with Chris and Rizo to create a super alliance. Guess how long that lasted?
As far as I can tell, Noah is targeting Austin but tried setting it up to ensure Chris and Rizo take the fall, using information I gave him (not necessarily important info, but something which incriminates Chris/Rizo which I only told him). Austin heard about this, of course, because he's just so good at this game and everyone is gravitating towards him. I've been completely honest with him, so hopefully he has been with me.
Originally the vote was supposed to be Rizo, with myself, Austin, Cheatham, Liam, AnnMarie, and Sara on board. This is why Rizo got vote against him at the challenge. However, Rizo has never targeted me personally. Comparing that to Noah, who I have heard from multiple sources was hoping that I was going to be voted out last round, voting to ensure this happened, and it was clear to me that Noah was the bigger threat to my game. Additionally, Cheatham told me things about how condescending Noah would be with him, so at that point I felt like I had to change the vote. Cheatham was on board with it, and I told Austin as well. Liam, Sara, and AnnMarie don't know (as far as I know) as of when I wrote this, but I really don't see a reason as to why they'd not want to vote Noah.
After this, it's 9. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, just to see how the dynamic is structured to truly figure out whether or not Noah is the best move for me.
Liam-AM-Sara are essentially a trio, and they're all good with me bc I voted with them and included them all
Chris-Rizo will be an even tighter duo, with Kyle as their auxiliary, and they'll all hate me. However, because I pushed the vote off Rizo (which is evidenced by the fact he got the vote at the challenge), I don't think it's fair to say that I ruined these relationships beyond repair, which I would have if Rizo left.
Austin is still the most powerful guy in the room, but he's a powerful guy who fully trusts me.
Cheatham has the idol, so keeping him on my good side is essential. To be honest, earlier flushing the idol was my top priority, but now I would not mind if he kept the idol for the rest of the game. Doesn't hurt my game, and as long as Austin is here, why would he take a shot at me?
So I think it's fair to say that, based on my current understanding of the dynamic, I am making the best move for my game.
Im gradually realizing Cheatham is the answer. We majorly messed up by not giving him immunity and now I want to talk to him to fix it. Rizo doesnt want me to with fear that it could ruin things but like I cant just sit here and do nothing. He doesnt wanna talk to Austin, Austin doesnt want to talk to him, OG Petrel doesnt want to talk to us, and so really this boils down to us needing to persuade Cheatham. I dont feel right if I dont talk to explain how bad of a decision it was and I'll work to fix it but for now Im just gonna do what Rizo says and wait
Merge !! Wohoo this is where the game starts and I must say I’m playing hard. And it’s starting to backfire. Chris not voting AM out our first Petrel tribal really fucked me because it showed where I lied. I was trying to play both sides and unfortunately it’s biting me in the ass. It’s crazy cuz austin is doing the same thing but it’s working for him. I got last in the challenge because my name is being mentioned and the next target. Austin is clearly the snake and I can’t say I’m mad good for him but he is someone I need out. He mentioned my name to Kyle and with a vote on me already I’m assuming I have 5 votes to my name going into tribal. I know I have Chris and Kyle on board to vote with me. Noah is next to go so he is down to vote with me and I saved Vincent so why wouldn’t he vote me. That leaves 5-5 with cheatham being the swing. I’m trying to convince him that I got his back and I truly do he is a power player With that idol and is a great shield. He is upset he wasent granted immunity by our alliance and that is a valid reason but I don’t want that to cost me my game. Cheatham says he is going to try to take the target off my back but I really want him to vote austin out with Us to make it 6-5 blindside. It would be iconic to get out a big player like austin who is playing a Rob C type of game. It just sucks cuz if I go Kyle and Chris my go too guys are next and austin will steamroll you the end. If it’s my time I played the game how I wanted to play. I’m not going to quit until my torch is snuffed but looking at it now, I have a big uphill battle but if I can pull this off, it goes down in the history books.
(LATER)
Oh shit coming back to you with some great? News. Cheatham and austin came to me stating that they will save me and they want Noah out? Is that what I want? NOPE! Will I do that to stay in the game ? YESSIR! Obviously I want noah to stay cuz he is a shield for me and seems to want to work with me but cheatham says Noah has treated him like shit and austin dislikes him. At this rate I have to lay low and just let austin and cheatham make the move to save me. I’ll tell Chris to vote noah and make sure as much votes go to noah as possible. After noah leaves I can regroup and think of a strategy but tonight the goal is to survive no matter who goes besides Chris and Kyle. I need us 3 to stick together to have a chance. But I might have some life in this game !
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Am I a mess for telling Cheatham Bottom Halfs votes in the challenge? Yes. But if it keeps him more likely to want Rizo in then I'll take the consequences
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SOOO. OH BOY. I'm in a pretty good alliance with Sara, Liam, cheatham, and Austin. We are all working together against everyone else. I like the comfort, but it's clear that it won't last for long. Apparently Austin is working both sides, and it's just veryyyy frustrating not knowing if there's another plan you're not a part of. I'm doing pretty good developing the trust I have with others, and I'm happy with how I'm doing right now. I want to nap.
So much has happened! So glad that Gwen's elimination went to plan and even ended up unanimous against her, she would've been even more scary in this merge. I've been taking a deliberate backseat in this past challenge because it's messy as fuck & I'd rather everyone else take the heat at the end of the day, I've not heard my name at all & both sides are speaking to me decently regularly so I don't feel in danger at all tonight. I'm hoping the votes to get Rizo eliminated are there because as much as I like the guy he rarely speaks to me & I'm not keeping around people who refuse to speak to me, enjoy ponderosa!
As of now I think the Noah votes over. Noah conveniently is told and only 4 people knew it. So it tells me that Cheatham/Austin probably planned to set us up or something. So now I just want to get Austin to own up to things...which is unlikely
Fuck Kyle lmao chatting shit at tribal with his fake woke bullshit, I'm so over this tribal & I can't wait for it to be over so we can move on and get the rest of this game underway because there's so many more angles I wanna explore & I need the people I know I can't work with on the jury.
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9 votes Rizo, 2 votes Austin.
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