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#i'm in a funky mood and i'd LOVE to fuck around and find out
svtskneecaps · 11 months
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yknow what with the strife building between forever and bad and the ripple effect that might have on the server at large i think now is the perfect time to fridge bad. go touch grass, mr boyhalo, it's time to see people either fall apart or come together without you. bc listen. listen. when the dms are bumpin with 'bad can you ___' every thirty seconds. sometimes you just gotta steal badboyhalo and see what the fuck happens. i just want to know.
and i also want bad to slEEP GODDAMNIT
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spacecowboyhotch · 3 years
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Gin Eyre - Part 1
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summary: reader and aaron have a fight where they seemingly break up for good. will this be the end or will that find their way back to each other?
pairing: fem!reader x aaron hotchner
warnings: explicit language, alluding to smut, angst
an: this is my first ever hotch one-shot (well technically 2/3 shot) and i’m so excited to not have to figure out an entire 20+ chapter fic. this will be 2, possibly 3 parts depending on whether I decide to include smut or not.
word count: 2.8k
You’re in the kitchen, rolling out dough for cinnamon rolls in Aaron Hotchner's kitchen. The two of you have been dating for a little over 6 months and you still can’t believe it. You met him at the art museum where you work. He was chaperoning a field trip for his son Jack when the two of you bumped into each other. You usually didn't go for patrons but there was something about his deep, honeyed voice and kind eyes that made you do a double take. The last 6 months had been amazing, and though he was taking things slow with you feelings wise, the sex was incredible.
Your phone starts to ring and your heart flutters in your chest. In the last few weeks you'd realized that you'd fallen madly in love with him. The age difference of 13 years had thrown your friends and family for a loop and that had kept you from being fully invested in the relationship but you couldn't deny your feelings any longer. You’re in love with him and when he gets home you’re going to tell him exactly that, plate of hot cinnamon rolls in hand. Excited by the idea that it would be Aaron calling to let you know he's on the way home you don't even bother to wipe your hands on your apron before reaching over to answer it.
"Hi, baby, I'm so excited to-"
"I won't be in tonight, Y/n." He cuts straight to the chase no greetings.
You know that the work side of Aaron existed. Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner was no one to mess around with and sometimes he could forget that he was talking to you, his girlfriend, and not one of his coworkers. It had been a long 5 years since he lost his wife Haley and he hadn't dated since; he’s out of practice. It doesn’t bother you much, you think its hot when he’s sharp and bossy but tonight seems different.
"What? Why? You said it was open and shut, that you’d be home. I alright started-" You start to sputter in protest but he quickly shuts you down.
"I know what I said." He mutters in a low voice.
What the hell is his problem?
"Aaron, what's wrong?" You ask softly, hoping that he'll snap out of whatever funky mood he's in. He's never spoken to you in this manner and you’re thrown for a loop.
"I've already got the chief of police and the press breathing down my neck, I don't need you to join them. You don't know what I'm dealing with." He just about sneers and you flinch at the sharpness of his tone.
"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not breathing down your damn neck. And I've never once assumed that I know the shit you go through everyday." You shoot back angrily.
How dare he talk to me like that.
"Listen, I'm hoping I'll be home in a few days so you don't have wait for me until I get back. You can go home."
"Why the fuck are you acting like this?"
"I'd appreciate it if you watched your language."
"Two things Agent Hotchner. My potty mouth has never been a problem, in fact you've said on multiple occasions that I put it to good use. And two, you don't have to worry about seeing me ever again because we're done." You try to keep your voice firm but it wavers slightly from the tears that are pooling in your eyes.
"Fine." He says simply.
Was it really that easy for him to let you go?
"Fine!" You shout, hanging up. Letting out a frustrated sigh you clear the kitchen, throwing away the dough that you had just worked so hard on before you gather your bag and storm out. You drive home with tears streaming down your face, your hair whipping in the wind since you were driving with the windows down. The cold night air makes your tears like icicles on your cheeks and you angrily push them away. When you pull into your apartment complex you sit there for a moment, trying to process what had just happened.
It all gone to shit so fast you can’t believe it is real. You and Aaron broke up just like that. It didn't even take a full fledge fight, just the wrong words said in the wrong tone. The two of you had fallen apart like a poorly stacked Jenga and you felt like your world was coming to a halt.
There had always been a part of you that was waiting for the other shoe to drop when it came to your relationship with Aaron. He was too perfect, too patient, too attractive, too good. Too everything you wanted in a man. That coupled with the fact that you were so young sometimes made you feel like he would never take you seriously. Maybe this was just confirming that, maybe it was so easy for him to let you go because he never saw you as a real contender.
You shake your head and finally exit the car, entering your apartment. You thank the gods that you roommate, Candice, is already in her room. You didn't want to anything she had to say where there it was to comfort you with empty words or admonish you with hot and heavy I told you sos.
*
You wait until Candice leaves for work to come out of you room. When you amble into the kitchen there's a note on the fridge door.
Whatever he did, I'll shoot him with his government issued glock when I'm back this weekend. Rebecca & I are going camping after work but feel free to call. Love you. - Candy
She must've heard you sobbing last night. You'd tried to be as quiet as possible but the walls were thin and she was known to be a light sleeper. You shoot her a quick text telling her to be safe and that you loved her before you make yourself some lunch.
With a bowl of pasta in hand and bottle of white wine you sit down on the couch and attempt to get some work done for the class you were a TA in. You were in your last year of Creative Writing Master's at Georgetown and you had plenty of short stories to grade and emails to answer. As you settle in grading you curse yourself for selling romance as something you wanted to read about. You weren't shy in mentioning how fantastic you relationship was and how you drew it as inspiration and it definitely rubbed off on your students.
Four long hours later and you've cleared all your emails and graded over 10 short stories. You’re sick of reading and slowly had grown angry while thinking about your conversation with Aaron last night. The realization of how rude he was sinks in and you stand with new resolve. You gather everything he'd ever gotten or given you into a box; a few of his shirts and a sweatshirt, a moonstone ring you gushed over, a picture of you him and Jack, and lastly the copy of Jane Erye he'd annotated for you.
When you'd told him it was one of your favorites, he promised to read through it and tell you what he thought about it. You hadn't expected him to, mostly because he was so busy with his job and Jack. But three months into your relationship he'd brought it over to your apartment on a date night. You remember it like it was yesterday.
"One copy of Jane Eyre, read and annotated by yours truly." He throws the book on your desk before plopping down in your reading chair.
"Bullshit, Hotchner, you're bluffing." You hop out of the bed and take the book into your hands, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Take a look." He shrugs with a smug grin, his eyes light with mischief. You loved that you could bring this side out of him since he dealt with such horrible things day in and day out.
"Oh my fuck, you really fucking did it." You say in disbelief as you turn through all the pages. There are small notes and highlighted sections throughout the book and you feel a warmth spread throughout your entire body.
"You have the dirtiest mouth Y/n, but yes, I did it. For you." He sounds proud of himself and when you look over he still has that smug look on his face but there's a soft glow in his eyes.
"You read Jane Eyre for me, I think my dirty mouth might owe you something." You say with a sly smile as you straddle him. You rub your clothed core against him and he stifles a groan by biting his lip.
"Yeah?" He flicks his tongue over his bottom lip regarding you expectantly. Your lips capture his, and you slip your tongue into his mouth as you knot your fingers in his hair. He groans again as your tongues brush up against each other's, your hips grinding down on him to create the perfect friction between you.
"Mhmm." You murmur against his lips before you move your sweet assault to his neck, sucking the soft skin until there's a dark mark that claims him as yours.
"Oh, fuck, Y/n, please." He whimpers and you love that you can turn such a strong, dominant man into a needy messy.
"And you say my mouth's dirty." You tease before dropping to your knees. "I want you begging for me, is that clear?" You look up at him as you undo his belt.
"Yes, baby, whatever you want." He breathes.
You drop the book like it's burned you, not wanting to get caught up in the memory it elicits. Not even 24 hours ago you would've savored the memory but now it makes you feel hollow. You dress in a Georgetown sweatshirt and tight pair of jeans, one that made your ass look phenomenal; just in case.  You grab a duffel bag as well and the box of stuff that tells the story of you and Aaron. There was almost a 0% chance that he'd be home. Part of you had hoped he rushed home and was waiting for you to come reconcile but you knew better.
Aaron Hotchner was a stubborn man, one that always wanted to be right and rarely show weakness. The controlled intimacy cultivated between the two of you in these six short months was proof of that. He never said anything too heavy, never let you put too much stock in him doing nice things for you, never let you spend too much time with Jack. The only place he really let go was the bedroom, it's the only place he let himself be completely vulnerable. You know everything about his body; where his scars are, his most sensitive spots, the way he likes to be ridden, and how much he could take before he meets his release.
So when you open up the door to his apartment and find it empty you aren't surprised but you surely are disappointed. Grateful that Jessica and Jack aren’t there, you linger for a moment. There are a few things you needed to collect anyways so you had an excuse to. You start in the kitchen grabbing a pastry cookbook that you left here. Sometimes you would bake Aaron and Jack treats, they had become your lab rats.
There a couple of your favorite books sitting on the coffee table, ones that you hoped Aaron would annotate like Jane Eyre but it was too late for that. You then make your way into his bedroom, you grab the couple sets of clothes out of the bottom drawer. Hitting the bathroom you take out your toiletries, clearing the last of your presence out of his apartment. The only thing left would be the few toys and books you'd gotten for Jack. You realize while looking at his room that he'll never get to read the book you started writing for him. It was about his father being the ultimate hero as Jack worshipped the ground Aaron walked on. Maybe once you finished it you could just drop it off with a note.
Before you can get too emotional you leave your key next to the box of stuff and lock the door from the inside. The click of the door makes it all real.
*
It's been a week since you and Aaron last spoke. He never let you know that he'd made it home and while there was a chance he could still be working the tough case, you assume you're no longer clued in to his safety.
You'd thrown yourself into your work, ignoring the gnawing feelings of emptiness and sadness that were clawing at you from the inside out. Candice was doing her best to be bright and cheery but with her having Rebecca, you couldn't be around her much. You feel guilty to have the sour taste in your mouth when you saw them together but you'd been burned and are now reaping the consequences.
You're working in your room when there's a knock at your door. "Come in."
"Hey there's a delivery for you?" Candice frowns slightly, looking behind her.
"A delivery?" You look up from your computer, pushing your reading glasses up.
"Says you need to go down and sign for it." She shrugs before turning to go back in her room.
"Alright, I'll be right back." You pull on a pair of jeans before you make your way down the lobby of your apartment building.
You instantly recognize the back of his head, you'd know it anywhere by the way his hair curls at the nape of his neck. He must feel your eyes boring into him because he turns around. Crossing your arms you walk over to him, making sure to keep a good amount of distance.
"What, did I forget to take something home?" You keep your eyes downcast.
"No, Y/n, I came to say I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me that night." He says apologetically, pushing your chin up with a finger. You take a step back putting more distance between the two of you.
"Nothing got into you that night, the way you treated me was already there, you just felt comfortable enough to finally fucking show it."
"That's not true, I was stressed from the job and I took it out on you. I'm more sorry that I can say."
"And it took you a whole fucking week to decide that?" Your voice is infused with anger as you push away the tears that have betrayed you by falling.
"I wanted to talk in person. I just landed this afternoon, and well I needed to see Jack before-"
"You don't have to justify seeing your kid to me, that's shitty of me to assume, I'm sorry." You can admit when you're wrong, even in a situation like this.
"Don't apologize to me, I'm the one who fucked here." He takes another step toward you.
"Yeah, Aaron, you totally fucked up, at least we agree there." You chuckle under you breath, rolling your eyes.
"Do you think you could give me another chance?" He pleads, and you see the desperation in those deep brown eyes of his.
"Aaron..." You trail off for a moment. Of course you wanted to say yes. Every cell in your body wanted to be with him, but your mind was telling you to be cautious. You couldn't just forget how easy it was for him to let you go, and based on that fact you make your decision. "No, I don't think I can. I think it's better this way. Maybe we're just too different for this to work. The job difference, the age difference-"
"None of that matters to me, I just want to be with you Y/n."
"I just don't think it's a good idea. I fell too hard for you and I don't think I could handle being hurt again. It was too easy for you to let me walk away.”
"I don't plan on letting you go ever again."
"Did you plan on letting me go then?" You ask to prove a point.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "No, of course not."
"Look, I love you Aaron, but right now I have to love me more." You surprise yourself with your honestly, and him too by the way his mouth drops open and eyebrows rise to his hairline.
"You love me?"
"It doesn't matter. I have to go. Please don't come back here, it'll just make things harder. Stay safe and tell Jack that I love him too." You awkwardly pat him on the arm before turning to walk away.
"Wait, Y/n, please, let's just talk about this." He reaches for you, gently gripping your arm.
"I'm done talking, just please, stay away from me Aaron." You pull your arm from his grasp before walking towards the stairs. You make sure not to look back, not wanting your decision to falter if you look at him too long.
read part 2 here.
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