giving a psych major a media portrayal assignment is like giving a kid candy. literally buzzing rn over writing a paper about ellie williams and her development as a kid growing up in traumatic experiences

bro hold on??? now that 🕵 mentioned that if ollie is even in it??? is it even about LL cos i remember the first time you mentioned about writing angst it was a dare??? IS IT EVEN ABOUT LL OR IST ABOUT GZD????

u got ua questioning wverything i cant im laughing so much :D

-😀

it is little leclerc angst!! someone asked me about upcoming works I think last week and I mentioned little leclerc angst (it didn’t have a title then, it does now thoooo 👀)

OR IS IT LITTLE LECLERC ANGST (pls I’m having so much fun being the most annoying person in the planet 😭😭😭😭)

hello!!

omg, i’m so glad you like them!! ahh yay!! 😍

I think there’s still chance for byler! Those ending shots of the couples are just so suspicious…

I’m not sure how it would most likely play out in s5, since they did a lot of stuff in s4 I thought they wouldn’t do and Idk the direction the writing is going in (hopefully more responsibility is given to the other writers and creators and not the duffers).

I think now everything kinda depends on when the time jump in s5 is, like if it happens early on in the season, or if its just like the last episode or something, and also depends on how much time elapses in that time jump. And if the theory that they go back in time to “fix” season 4 is true as well, which I’m definitely not opposed to but I just wish we had more confirmation of that possibility. And if they did that, I think they’d HAVE to really focus on “fixing”/re-doing those scenes like Mike’s monologue, Will in the car, etc.

I think flashbacks could be prominent in s5 as well.

I think depending on the time jump, they may use it as a way to wrap up m!leven and pave the way for byler, without actually having to explain anything, but that is kind of a cop-out. I think if they did that, and wrapped wverything up in the time that elapsed thag we don’t see on screen, we’d need a lot of flashbacks.

Mike also definitely needs to apologize to Will, for a lot, but especially that line about how his life started the day he met El. Mike also has a lot of growing to do, so I just hope they’ll handle that in a good way. We’d def need a scene of Mike 2 how he was struggling. We’d a lot of heart to hearts and confessions really.

I’m not really sure how s5 will play out. I think it’s really early right now to make any super solid predictions. And we also just don’t know what direction they’re going in, which makes predictions super hard :(

I hope you’re well! xx

I just don’t know. I know I say that a lot but I just really don’t. Like I’m a very highly intelligent person and I’m very good at solving problems. Making something after more efficient. Like I can go into a business and within a month or 2 just totally change that place. Like from products from intake of like a grocery store to the customers cars I can make it so an employee won’t have to handle it more than he needs too. Move this there. Change this try that and before you know it your pumping out a million guitars a year when before me was 50-100k.

And I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE!!!!! I’ve gone over every scenario 1000 times each and then even started mixing scenarios together then adding new thoughts and Scientific physocology shit to it then adding reality shit to it then adding physically AND YES AND (as in more than 1,) practically IMPOSSIBLE FUCKING BULLSHIT to the mix and then before you know it I just wanna fucking blow my head off. Seriously. Honestly It’s too fucking much at times. But I’m not going too don’t worry. Ive injected myself several in fact dozens of times with a cocktail of drugs so powerful that DR Kovorkian coulda helped 7-8 people maybe more. I’d have to inject a whole morphine 200 just to get outta bed I’m the morning and I wasn’t even high yet. I had to mix large quantities. Half gram or more of dope at a time mixed with some pills to get high! Thank god I HONESTLY don’t miss that. I do however miss her. YOU. And I just don’t know what the hell is up. My woman the woman who she was before I met her would have no problem telling me what’s up with the last 3mths In person. She wouldn’t. Even if she fucking wanted my ass deader than a shit and she was fuCali nag pissed or even if she was hurt emotionally by something I did or said (before the blow up. That don’t count cuz she didn’t tell me the TRUTH!!! My WOMAN would sit me down tell me the TRUTH and then kick my fucking ass and kill me but SHE WOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM TELLING ME THE TRUTH...... IN PERSON. So some things up. I hear It her voice. It sounds painful whatever it is. And before I blew up when we was “good” and we’re still single but she writes the legit I love you msg and ONE DAY AT A TIME. Then over next couple weeks. I get honest love yous and miss yous and even when we talked on the phone that was my woman. If she was happy sad angry whatever that was my woman. Then even may 4th I think. Super flower moon day I heard it in her voice. The IM IN LOVE WITH YOU BUT I HAVE TO PUSH YOU AWAY self sabotage of a meaningful relationship cuz what I’m better off. Cuz it’s all minor stupid spiraled outta control bullshit and now resentments are forming. The kind that NEVER GO AWAY. And I don’t want that. But she won’t talk to me. At all. It’s out of character for MY WOMAN!! Like even if she wasn’t in love with me and I knew her I would be able to tell somethings up from her tone last night.

It was just pain full to hear. Like she still has something aching to get out and be said. I just don’t know if it’s good for me or bad for me. I feel it’s bad. I feel that she has marked me for life as one of her abusers. Somethings wrong that she won’t fucking tell me. Cuz that’s not my woman. That’s not the woman who I sat next to for 7 years. Yeah babe 7 years. Yeah babe I’m calling you babe cuz that will always be your name to me!! And I just feel like she feels ashamed and emabareassed for her actions when she is having a PTSD moment and most of the time she blacks out and don’t remember half the stuff that was said. And that scares me. So angry that you black out. I would never hurt her. NEVER EVER EVER WOULD I DO ANYTHING EVEN ROTELY CLOSE TO WHAT THEM MONSTERS HAVE DONE TO YOU!!!! Mean words yes I am fucking guilty. A phone or laundry basket thrown in your direction with no intent to harm you physically, yes I’m f ifking guiltynof that too I’m guilty. But I would never ever do anything worse than what’s already been done. (Fist hole In a cheap closet door, guilty) but I’d never and I KNOW YOU HONESTLY KNOW THAT. I SAVED YOU BABY. I WAS THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED ME THE MOST!!! Actions. Forget about other girls who I never was anything more than basic non sexual friends with. I said something nice about her hair. Well if I remember correctly that’s as during the time I me Patrick left but you BABE didn’t tell me before I walked out door that you were on the ledge of a bridge deciding if you wanted to jump or not. Which I’m so glad you didn’t but if you would of told me that day of 356 bridge NONE OF THIS WOULDA HAPPENED. Neither would of dec 28th and for that. I think you feel guilty and ashamed prolly disgusting(cuz I do for my actions so that’s why I said you prolly feel) scared and embarrassed for yourself and yur actions cuz that’s how I feel about myself. I’m mostly ashamed and embarrassed of myself but I feel angry the most and that’s why I can’t talk wirhour getting passionate”. Angry at myself. I’m not even made at you. I’m angry at myself. And then in turn get angry at you for something stupid and then it blows up into big time madness all cuz I’m ashamed of myself and I’m angry with myself. If I hadn’t snuck around and used drugs with chad. Which was only drugs never anything sexual with anybody!!!!! And you know what I feel the same way. I’m ashamed of myself. To the point I wanna die. I’m embarrassed and angry and I feel so disgusting and gross since you couldn’t even let me hold you when you cut your wrist. I tried to get you but you didn’t want me too touch you. So no didn’t. I’m so sorry baby. I shoulda took the chance of you calling cops on me for assault or something. But at same time I respect you so you said don’t touch I didn’t touch. When you tell me to not touch you for a year even after we got thru her not working correctly after surgery. Remember what I said. I’ll try everyday 100 times a day for years if needed until you can cum all over him or my face.

And I just know we don’t end like this. We don’t end like this. Your the most amazing woman I ever met. Beautiful. Your not beautiful. Beautiful don’t even come fucking close to describing who/what you are!!!! Brave. Strong super sexy wardawg who despite EVERTHING (everything you’ve said/done, I’ve said/done) despite EVERYTHING baby you STILL drive me wild like the first time we met each other. Your real true beauty makes my dick hard just thinking about you. Right now. He 😘🤪👃👅🖖👐(full body erotic message hands) your the strongest most courageous woman I’ve EVER MET like you didn’t even go I my o much detail about shit everytime you’d open up you got more beautiful. Then when you started telling me bout yur monster cousins you got more beautiful and you didn’t even go into detail of the events (like you actually should do to help HEAL. It works trust me KERR FAMILY. I carried a lot of shit after that. Loading a whole family that died together in a forerunner crash into the coroners van. 4 people. Mom. 3 kids 16-6 or 7 years old. And our relationship now. The current state were in right now just ripped my family away and I’m in need of my best friend my lover back!!! I really am. I just miss you so much. I’ll cry for an hour straight. Seriously. Sometimes 2 and then stop try to do something but WVERYTHING REMINDS ME OF YOU. I watched a video on donutboperator of a kid who was yelling at the cop to just kill him bro please. And I freaking cried like a baby all night. Ended up texting you and then you called and I got to hear your voice but then I hurt even more cuz you didn’t even sound like you. That wasn’t you. It just wasn’t you. Even if you hate me and actually never wanted to see me again m, you would sound like you. And you just didn’t. Remember on the phone. I got the text too to prove it. “Yur voice was different. Everything was different”. In a good way. She got tingly from what you said!! Yeah I bd isn’t hear that in you. Like even when we were together and we were Mia communicating and someone called or you had to deal with a person. You sounded like BABE. Even when we weee fighting on the phone BOTH getting mean and ignorant to each other. You still sounded like you. But last night. You didn’t. Even from the very first words of, what do you want?? It just didn’t sound like Ashley. If I was blind and you walked into the room and talked I wouldn’t of known who it was. Just please talk to me baby!!! We should be spending this beautiful summer watching stars here at dads or kennerdale. Yes kennerdale. I was waiting for better weather to go star gazing there with you and hold you tight then feb 2nd came and I thought for sure you was gonna come see me. At least once. And I won’t lie. You hurt me feelings with the whole weed issue april 22nd. Like you text before we even talked. Look at menu your only one who’s appreciate it then we started talking and I thought it was going good. If you were only talking to me my babe was back then somewhere around your script issue something noticeably changed. You began getting short with me. You wouldn’t text for a few days and I can almost pin point the exact like 2 week span. So please baby. If youve heard any thing that I’ve said here. And if you truly deep down inside feel any bit of the same way I do. Just please come talk to me. I’d like it to be without you having a BF so I can hug you. I just want a hug. I wasn’t able to that night or since or even before and I just my my woman back. Your world didn’t end the day I moved out!!! It just began. Use this lil vacation to get yourself right. Don’t worry about a relationship. And if yo u need the services of a man that’s what I’m here for. If we’re working on ourselves and each other with that promise to each other like I mentioned last year. Your strong independent woman who don’t need a man. So I don’t see why you jumped straight into a relationship while you still have/had at time may 4th, feelings for me. Cuz that wasn’t how somebody who don’t love a person no more, breaks up width.

You don’t basically tell me please don’t blow up and end it bad I’m case I wake up I’m a year well 2 to be “specific” and realize that it was ALWAYS me. The fact that you even said that was a red flag. Shoulda been a red flag to yurself that you were self sabatoging our relationship. I don’t care if you slept with 50 guys the last 3-4 mths. I bd not want details unless there is no chance of us getting back together EVER and then I need to know when you started talking to mike is it? Cuz if it was after our phone call March 24th then he’s a POS I know you talked about our relationship and I have a feeling he said one of those predator lines. He don’t deserve you. You are beautiful. But what you didn’t tell him is that you didn’t want me telling you you were beautiful cuz you thought I only said it cuz I was on drugs which wasn’t the case. It intensified the true feelings. And I just feel something like that happened and then that one day round April 13th is give or take a week something happened. Maybe a one night stand. Kool no problem but then guilt and shame and embarrassment comes into play and then you text me like you was trying to tell me something and then it don’t matter anyways. My life was over day you moved out shit down and then you ignored me so you didn’t have to tell me. I feel 2 ways bout it. Either it was one night stand and you felt emabareassed bout it which you shouldn’t. Your human or he did take advantage of a woman who’s a month out of a 7 year rocky relationship but r the he reason it was rocky is because both people were fighting for what they love/loved. Me/you as of now. And we just don’t end like this babe. We don’t. Are you ok with us ending like this??? I mean how we ever gonna be able to even try to become friends again if one of us has a significant other. It’s like mike and (I don’t have nobody but you so we’ll say Suzie) Mike and suzie gonna be ok with us going to hang out or going to concert or what?? Double dating??? I just can’t see ya ever talking to each other again unless we’re in a committed relationship to each other. I just don’t know. I need to jamb. I’m really missing you hard core right now. I feel like you actually did die cuz I’m never gonna see you again

Remember how I always say somethings in the woods here. I feel like a raptor or some shot is stalking so Last night I was jambin in drive way and I bent down BYU turn the mids up a lil but and when I bent back up there was a coyote running towards me from the flower bed closest to driveway I yelled AAHHHH and went to swing my guitar like a bat and it like turned in mid full sprint slid its nails across blacktop I could hear them sliding trying to grip traction and then he took off towards the Lane sign. I fucking had prolly a #50-60 pound coyote almost attack me. I just heard them down on the bank just behind the light line.

Let’s talk about The Avengers

Okay so there are a million things we can talk about here. Like how we all felt when the first avengers movie hit theaters in 2012 and how we were all at the edge of our seats whenever we first saw our first glimpse of thanos. Or we could talk about how hilarious every scene with the hulk was across the first avengers movie. Like when he punched Thor after they landed in the train station. Or even in the second movie with the introduction of vision and Wanda.

Or Drunk Stanlee. (Rip stanlee) over the years the avengers movies have been one great hit after the other with no real signs of EVER slowing down. I mean I have the avenger theme playing in my ears right now as I’m writing this. In all honesty I thought we would at least get 6 movies before they called it quits ya know? Like they had so much more story left to tell. And with the way the movies were going they had so much more left in the tank. It’s like c’mon marvel I need my movies man I need them. You’ve already got my money what more do you want from me my blood?

Which I mean at this point they may have already taken it as well. But that’s besides the point, we’re here to talk about the avengers not my financial addictions with the MCU. But when it comes to movies in the MCU and the avengers specifically the movie I think about most is avengers endgame.

Wverything avout endgame from start to finish was a masterpiece in my own honest opinion. I mean sure I I was okay with hipster hulk and bro Thor. And by okay I mean that I was laughing and I was excited to even see the direction they went with the two of them. But, I wished with the hulk the wouldnhave made him both intelligent and powerful. I mean he has the power to literally break worlds for cryin out loud.

I mean it was a kissed opportunity if I may say so myself. But I can’t deny the level of love that everyone put into the movie. And plus I mean looking at it they needed something funny to balance out the serious tone of the other characters. Which I’m talking about Hawkeye and widow. The two of them held a very serious tone as the movie progressed, so as far as the tone of the characters went, I’d say it went very, very well. But there’s one person who literally took my heart snatched it out, stole it and DID NOT GIVE IT BACK. And that person was tony stark.

From the very begging you heard tony sending messages to pepper which were updates on how everybody was doing on the ship. But I would like to add that these messages weren’t just his updates they were also his goodbyes to pepper. From beginning to end tony went in knowing that he has this one last chance to save the world and hopefully right the wrongs that were done. Now after the snap tony was able to have a life with pots and his daughter. All the while having this life he was still trying to do good and figure out how to bring the people back that we’re lost.

Now through all of this I love that tony kept his heart even when he thought things were impossible he kept his composure about all of it. While at the same time being realistic but still holding on to the small price of hope. And of course we all know how this ended. But it’s the reason why I honestly say that through everything tony went through the most and came through the storms of endgame and everything with the most love for everyone even down to the end.