chrysigil is also very fascinating because this is probably… the only situation chrysi’s been in where she is not The most important person to her s/o. she probably doesn’t even realize that she’s accustomed to being the center of attention—and with gil, she tries to ignore how much that throws her off (and tbh, upsets her to some degree) by making her relationship with him some sort of game. she’s just lost the person that means the most to her in the world (and the person that literally viewed her as The Person For Him. azure would give up his soul if it meant chrysi was happy), so with gil, she’s just distracting herself. having fun. flirting with him and making him blush. it’s fine that she’s never going to have a deep relationship with him—it’s fine, really. she doesn’t mind. everything is lighthearted and fun!

but the thing is, gil starts caring for her genuinely (oz is helping because of course the only way gil realizes he cares is via oz…) and suddenly it’s really hard for chrysi to make this lighthearted. it scares her. she doesn’t want this—because above all else, she doesn’t want to lose it. if she never has it in the first place, then she can’t be anxious about gil putting oz above her or losing gil entirely. she tries to make it clear to gil that she’s not someone to worry about (acknowledging oz is always going to be gil’s priority), she’s incredibly independent (she’s not going to let gil in because she doesn’t want to deal with any additional heartache), and, most importantly, she’s already tried out “true love” and it burned her—why bother with trying to be a couple with gil officially? (he won’t ever be azure for her).

i mean, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: how does chrysi fall in love again—try someone new—after having been with azure? the whole new dynamic is hard for her.