#i would like to say this is the first fic in the Gwaine/Lancelot/morgana tag and i honestly thought it was already a thing but i guess not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xviruserrorx · 8 months

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Title: "So Discarded So Disgraced"

This is just a fic to go along with my Edit that I made for the poly Ship Day thingy because brain worms wouldn't leave where they have become imbedded. Anyway enjoy!! (Please read ALL the warnings before continuing!)

Poly Ship Day - Tumblr | Ao3 - [Prev <- • -> Next]

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Prompt(s): De-stress

Relationship(s): Gwaine/Lancelot/Morgana Pendragon

Character(s): Gwaine, Lancelot, Morgana Pendragon

Important Tag(s): Canon Divergence, Hurt Lancelot, Hurt Gwaine, Protective Gwaine, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt no comfort, Referenced Dubious Consent, Evil Morgana (don't take this as me hating the character please), No Beta We Die Like The Rat That Got Made Into Stew

Rating: Mature (more so Teen & Up but because of the subjects that are referenced/talked about I felt more comfortable tagging this as mature)

Warning(s): No Archive Warnings Apply, referenced violence, blood, bruises, abuse, Stockholm Syndrome

Word Count: 1,403

"Nothing will change any of this." Gwaine gently grabbed his wrist of that hand, tilting his head and kissing the inside of his palm. "Then we have each other." "And Morgana?" "She's here too. She's not so soft though." Lancelot shook his head. "Nor rough." "Balance each other out then don't we?" Or Kidnapped, Lancelot and Gwaine find comfort in one another but... they're not so illy inclined to Morgana either.

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Lancelot felt his body move, a shift bringing him to try and open his eyes. Failing at first against his sleepy haze, he tried again, using the rustling noise he heard to latch onto and drag him out to find out where it was coming from.

He immediately became aware of the cold weightlessness beside him and looked around for the person he knew had lied there.

"My lady?"

Morgana stood at the end of the bed, slipping her dress over her shoulder and smoothing it out, no more than a glance spared towards him as she muttered a firm, "stay."

He did as told as she left the room leaving him and a sleeping Gwaine, alone, and only source of covering, the thick furs still draped over the both of them.

Waiting till the doors were shut and he was sure she left for good, he looked to the other man still asleep. He knew he needed the rest but a part of him didn't want to lie there alone in his thoughts.

He bit his lip. "Gwaine," he called, hitting the bed when he didn't stir much.

"Hm?" He hummed.

He waited for him to open his eyes more and look at him before cocking his head in the direction of the empty spot between them and the door.

Gwaine lifted his head and looked around the room. "Gone?"

He nodded. He reached for his hand and stopped, resting his hand on the bed a touch away from his.

Gwaine looked over at him.

"Come here?" He asked.

He nodded. "Give me a second."

He watched as Gwaine slowly pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. Marks of all sizes, small cuts, scuffs, to large slices made purposely, littered across his skin. Bruises, as though paint on his canvased skin, were an array of colors of old to new to a light red that he knew would lay future bruises till they were allowed to heal over, or not at all.

Lancelot almost wished his body mirrored Gwaine's, to share his pain and feel the same level of responsibility of shared harm. But it didn't. The most his body reflected was the consequences of wearing manacles for hours to days on end, rings of bruises and scars lining his neck, wrist, and ankles. Fingernails and fingertips were all the same with little damage he caused himself from clawing and pulling at chains and metal till the pain became an equally drowning numbness.

Gwaine winced as he stretched out the small nap they both had, favoring his left side as the right was stained black with a broken rib Lancelot knew was hidden underneath.

"I thought that was healing?" He spoke when he heard Gwaine attempt to take a few extra deep breaths.

He chuckled. "It was." He turned, and looked at him. "Don't worry about it, you were asleep." He smiled past his grimace and leaned back, falling onto his good side to be laying close looking up at Lancelot.

He looked at Gwaine, smile and all, despite anything being such a warrant to smile. He reached out, gently pulling the front lock of hair away from the rest of his hair and playing with it.

"Maybe… it was your fault." He dawdled the idea he knew was wrong that thinking it hurt him, but saying it was all the worse.

"Maybe," Gwaine agreed. "I'll take the blame."

"Just to do it again?"

"Just to do it again," he repeated. His smile never once falling past his words.

Lancelot wrapped the lock of hair loosely around his finger, letting it unravel before doing it again. "Maybe it's my fault."

"No.…" Gwaine softly shook his head.

He scoffed. "You do something wrong, you get hurt. I do something wrong, you still get hurt."

"But it's not you."

He dropped his hand. "You can't take the blame for both of us."

"I can and I have," he stated once again, his words leaving no room for any argument.

"And if I disagree?"

Gwaine brought his fingers to Lancelot's hand and brushed them across his palm. "It won't do anything to change us."

"Us?" Lancelot asked.

"Me, you, and…." The absence of body and his word made her presence all the more known.

As if that was too much, Lancelot shook his head, sitting up and waiting as Gwaine followed his move.

"Just stop fighting back." He wanted to beg, to plead with him not to do anything else to get hurt, but he knew how little begging, no matter how much done, was futile.

"You like it when I fight back," Gwaine joked. Holding his side as his breath picked up from the sudden movement.

Lancelot grimaced. "Gwaine…"

There was a sigh.

"She likes it," Gwaine corrected himself. "And you…" he brought his hand up, a finger brushing Lancelot's lower cheek. His eyes wandered and graced every feature as a smile made its way to his face. "You make everything better."

Gwaine leaned in, his finger going with the rest as his hand wrapped the back of his neck, thumb resting now on his lower jaw as he pulled him in the remaining distance, lips meeting with gentle utterance.

The kiss, like a gasp of air after suffocating, Lancelot took it in all at once. Every touch, making itself deeper and known, with no worry of harm attached at Gwaine's expense.

But Lancelot dared very little to even so much as to misplace a hair on his head. He knew every move, every breath, and every touch would ache through Gwaine's body, with sight of every mark and bruise or simply the memory of what was once there.

Lancelot braced his arms back on the bed as Gwaine pushed more into the kiss. Both out of breath, they broke for a second before continuing. Lancelot now returned some of the force Gwaine used and earned a small groan from the other man, from pleasure or pain being beyond what he could fathom.

Both of their lips were dry and cracked. The corner of Lancelot's lower lip was chewed up where he'd gotten into the habit of worrying it when he waited with his back to the door and Morgana and Gwaine on the other side.

A stinging sensation evident as they continued on.

And Gwaine's were still slightly swollen from the busted lip that was only a few days into healing. The corner of his mouth barely passed a scab from where it was cut and the newest wound, only a day old.

That one evident as Lancelots felt the rough edge of the scab press into his own lip.

The cut that had been purposely made with a sharp small dagger at a meal, a memory he couldn't remember past the scene of blood pouring down Gwaine's mouth and chin, blood that seemed to last hours but was a matter of minutes.

He pulled back and broke the kiss, that memory at the forefront as a wave of nausea tidal waved over him.

Gwaine pulled back, eyebrows furrowed with concern written all over.

Lancelot hated it. He raised up his hand, thumb coming to his lip as he rubbed at the scab rougher than he planned.

Gwaine winced.

"Nothing will change any of this."

Gwaine gently grabbed his wrist of that hand, tilting his head and kissing the inside of his palm. "Then we have each other."

"And Morgana?"

"She's here too." Another kiss. "She's not so soft though." He rubbed his thumb across the scarred bruised skin around his wrist, barely brushing past to leave any sort of feeling.

Lancelot shook his head. "Nor rough."

Gwaine scoffed out a small laugh. "Balance each other out then don't we?" He cocked that grin of his, waiting for the wanted inevitable as Lancelot began to close in.

Though that never came.

They both startled as the double doors swung open, two guards at the doors as Morgana walked through. One guard behind her handed her a small pile of clothes, that of which he tossed towards the both of them.

"Get changed."

"My lady?" Lancelot spoke.

She tossed both of their swords and swords belts down onto the edge of the bed. "Ready to prove yourselves?"

He looked at Gwaine then back to Morgana. Unsurety creeping under his skin as Gwaine wrapped his hand tighter and tighter around his.

#bbc merlin #polyamshippingday #virusfanfic #morgwaincelot #morgana pendragon #sir lancelot #sir gwaine #i would like to say this is the first fic in the Gwaine/Lancelot/morgana tag and i honestly thought it was already a thing but i guess not #rare pairs my beloved #fanfiction

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merlinfic · 3 years

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group ask for lost fics #32

Hi y’all! Below are a few lost fics that us mods just can’t seem to find. That being said, we’re hoping that you lovely followers are able to help! If anyone knows any of the fics below please reply below or send in an ask with which anon/user and group ask that the fic corresponds with!

Note: previous group asks and all lost fics!

Anon 1 asked:

Hello! First of all thanks so much for everything you do for the fandom! Also, I’ve been trying to find a fic for a while where Merlin and Arthur are both super into each other and Arthur keeps trying to seduce Merlin but Merlin thinks he has to remain pure until the dragon tells him that’s not the case w Arthur and I was wondering if you could help! Thanks so much 💖🥰

Thanks to statistical-nightmare for suggesting Touch Me (Not) by veronamay!

@ohmytimeturner14 asked:

Hey! I'm kinda getting back into the merlin fandom and I was looking for a fic I once read and can't find it. It's a sick fic where merlin gets sick with pneumonia I believe. Can't remember how long it is, at least 3k and most likely under 20k? I think part of it had Morgana offer to read to Merlin when he was sick? I think it was Merthur but I couldn't swear to it. Love your blog, Keep up the good work!!!

Hey! I love your blog. You always do such an awesome job.

I lost a fic, its at least 5K probably leaning twords 20 though. It involves Merlin getting sick, I think pneumonia. I remember that at one point Morgana reads him a book when he's sick, and Arthur almost leaves to get Hunith because he thought Merlin wouldn't make it. May have something to do with a formalwear tunic that made him cold and got sick, but that might be a different one. I also think he was going to go to a party of Gwen's before he got sick?? sorry if this is kinda vague

Thanks to fractalinferno for sending in Midwinter Festival by Miss_Em!

Anon 2 asked:

hello!! yay the ask box is open again!! 🥺 I’ve been going through the asks for a quartermaster/007 thing but I can’t find this particular fic where Merlin was Q, and closer to the end of the fic he gets kidnapped on a train (to be specific.) It’s slash, but not pre-established, happens during the fic. Arthur bursts into Merlin’s apartment and manages to have flashback about the laptop’s password or smth too! Thanks in advance!

Thanks to wiggly-jiggly-higgledy-piggledy and overworked-bookworm for suggesting You Only Live Twice by storyforsomeone (WIP)!

Anon 3 asked:

Hello! I was wondering if you'd be able to help me find a fic. The only thing I remember from it is that both Arthur and Merlin are in the crystal caves and Merlin sees Arthur's death through one of them and completely freaks out and comfort ensues with Arthur. Sorry it's so vague but I'd love to see if you can find it! Thanks again!

@eyra-j-nee asked:

Hi!! I’m looking for a fic that was on ao3, (TW: non con) in it Merlin was assaulted in the stables and he called I think both killgarah and aithusa come and won’t let anyone pass into the stables except gaius and eventually Lancelot. Arthur figures out it’s Merlin and I can’t remember what happens after that. I’ve looked through your hurt and abused Merlin tags and I didn’t see it. I can say it’s not “all of himself” by StormDancer but they are very similar! Any and all help would be appreciated. As always THANK YOU for what you do, this blog and your hard work is a godsend!!

Thanks to fangirl485 for sending in The Fire of a Dragon by ma_r (check warnings!)

Anon 4 asked:

hi I am looking for a fic, it's post canon au and magic is legal, arthur & gwen aren't married though and all the people of Camelot are used to see Arthur and Merlin together or near each other and one time they don't, so they ask merlin who tells them that the king is on holiday today so they come to merlin with their problems and even after the holiday is over they still come to him and start calling him lord and Arthur is very amused and they get together at the end of the fic

honestly I'm a little annoyed that I remember this much but not the name of fic but I can't find it in my bookmarks, so thanks

Thanks to onceandfuturekid for suggesting King of My Heart by illiterateowl!

Anon 5 asked:

hello! i was wondering if you know about this one fic where merlin receives a purple tunic as a reluctant gift from arthur and he worries about it because it's the colour of royalty. i think it was gen? i can't really seem to find it and this is very vague, so im sorry. thank you for all you do!! <3

Anon 6 asked:

Hi I’ve been looking everywhere for one particular fic. It’s pretty dark and modern au. Merlin is immortal, has lost his memories, not thinking clearly, and is suicidal. Arthur is reincarnated and has the urge to kill. They somehow? come to an arrangement, and Arthur “consensually” kills Merlin, and then is filled with regret. But it kind of “resets” Merlin so when he comes back his memories are restored and he’s ok again? Any ideas??

onceandfuturekid asked:

hi I'm looking for a fic where there's a new servant master (?) who is harming servants so arthur disguises himself and pretends to be servant and merlin & gwen take him under his wing,,, also the servant master (?) was a druid I think or atleast banished from them and was looking for power of emrys

Thanks to atlantablack-chaotic and avery28 for sending in The Serving of Servants by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle!

Anon 7 asked:

Hi! I've been looking for this but can't seem to find it and I would greatly appreciate it if you guys could help me. It's a genderbend!Merlin. The story basically follows canon with Merlin becoming Arthur's manservant just that on top of magic she has to hide the fact that she's a woman and when things go "further" Arthur thinks he's forcing himself on Merlin, since he can't "feel his desire". Thank you do much for your help! ❤

Anon 8 asked:

Hi, I've been trying to refind this fic for a while but I'm having trouble finding it. I can't remember much of it which makes it difficult, but I just remember that Merlin gives Arthur a gift, which I think is a ring, and he finds out Merlin had magic and questions whether Merlin enchanted it against him. It's in the canon era where Merlin is his servant.

Thanks to fractalinferno for sending in A Little Roughing Around Never Hurt Anyone by melennui!

@emritz86 asked:

Hi, it's been a while I asked smthng. Caught up with work and stuff. I read a fic where Merlin was a doc and married to Arthur but Arthur didn't like Merlin at first and didn't even let him enter to their bedroom. Later he realised how awesome Merlin was and tried to reconcile but Merlin already thought about filing divorce. Do not remember the name but I'm certain I read it and saved it somewhere. Anything similar would be great too. Thanks.

Anon 9 asked:

Hey! I was wondering if you could find a fic for me where everyone thinks Arthur is dead and then Merlin goes to look for him but the knights are like he’s dead and Merlin says something like “half my soul resides in him. I would feel his death like a wound” ps this blog is literally my life

Anon 10 asked:

I'm looking for 2 kind of similar stories. The first is a canon au where Merlin is actually a dog that Arthur finds in the woods. I remember toward the end they both get injured and Arthur is frantic when he wakes up. Asking Gaius where his dog is.

The second is modern au where Merlin is blind and Arthur is reincarnated as his seeing eye dog. I don't remember much more than that, sorry. Thank you for all the work you out into the fandom. MUCH MUCH appreciated!

Thanks to fractalinferno for suggesting Familiar To You, Strange To Me by TheYaoiChick for the first part!

@gaylord1027 asked:

Hi,

Do you know of a fic where Merlin was raised by Balinor in the cave after Hunith died and Merlin has some for of mental affliction. It starts with Arthur coming to them for help and then he wants to protect Merlin. Nimueh is in it and she befriended Merlin and died when Balinor lived to keep the balance.

Anon 11 asked:

I was wondering if you knew of the fic where Gwaine and Arthur are fighting to see who's merlin's best friend but in the end they realise it's Lancelot

Thanks to fractalinferno for suggesting Merlin's Favourite by OwlsWithFins!

#other: group asks for lost fics #other: fic find #other: lost fics #mod danielle #sorry for the long post lmao #we have A Lot of asks

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chrisemrysfics · 5 years

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Hello~

So @shellsan tagged me to reply to some questions and I’ll be happy to do so~!

Favourite trope/s? Least favourite trope/s?

I’m reply to these together, to be honest I don’t think I really pay attention to tropes? Or it might be that I don’t really know what categorize as one. Like if you give me one, I can say how much or little I love it, but I blank out thinking of them myself.

But! I do enjoy a lot (like, a lot) anything to do with Time Travel and Crossovers (especially when both canon are kept as they are and meet, rather than “FandomA!AU for Fandom B”). In one fandom (BBC Merlin, and I see you liking it too), I enjoyed a lot the Watch the Show fics; I think because of how much it would rely on having Merlin’s magic revealed and all the things most of everyone missed out.

Since we’re here in fandom trops; for DGM my fave trope is anything where Allen either grows up with the Noah or joins them and just generally getting a family out of them. Meanwhile, for MDZS, it’s time travel and fix it/everyone live (goldmines are when both tropes are used in the same fic).

I can’t say if I have a least favourite, but I generally avoid unrequited love (unless its thought as unrequited but is in fact returned). I’m a bit meh about love triangles/characters “fighting” for someone love, but depends heavily how its written. Or what the intent is.

Favourite Universe to read in (AU, Canon, Canon-Divergence), especially for the fandoms you list below?

For most fandoms, I tend to first enjoy canon and canon divergent content. It’s the whole feeling of wanting more of the original canon, and all the ways people can add in, change things, and stuff like that. After a bit though, I also start to indulge in AUs.

In general, I get attracted most to anything that mirrors canon or keeps a certain sense of canon. So canon-divergence, canon au, and aus that retains dynamics similar to canon are the fics I’m most interested in.

AU’s that you can’t get into/don’t usually read?

That’s a good question. I can’t say anything comes to mind? If the summary/tags make me curious I’ll check, if I like I read.

Favourite fandoms to read fanfiction from?

At present time, I’m mostly reading MDZS fics. Whenever the mood hit me, I go back to DGM, but my mind hyper-focused right now. In a general sense, DGM and MDZS (with sometimes BBC Merlin) are the fandoms I’ll read for, as they remain my top three faves.

Favourite ships for said fandoms?

MDZS: Wangxian, I like other ships but I don’t seek out fics focused on those ships, those other ships are Xuanli, 3Zuns, Junior Trio, and XY/MXY (I dont know why but my mind threw those two together).

DGM: Neallen and Tykillen are the two I love the most, and I also love the OT3 with Nea, Allen and Tyki all together. I do like a lot of others ships, but yeah, I’m weak for those three.

BBC Merlin: it’s been a while since I did read fics for Merlin (not counting the one I just did it caught my eyes okay), but Merthur still my fave ship. I enjoy it in any form, and I kind of love it when Gwencelot is a side pairing. But like with MDZS, I don’t really seek fics of other ships I like (said ships being Gwencelot, Merwaine, Freylin, Gwaine/Morgana). I do think current me though might appreciate polyamory, there is a potential for it after all and it’s nicer than the ship wars (that I hope have calmed down since last I actively checked the fandom). If I would go all out and put all ships I like in the polycule, they would be: Arthur/Merlin, Lancelot/Gwen, Morgana/Gwen, Gwaine/Merlin, Arthur/Gwen, Merlin/Freya, Merlin/Morgana, Gwaine/Morgana.

Favourite characters for said fandoms?

In MDZS, I... feel like I love Wei Wuxian a lot and then I love everyone else?? I mean like, Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, Wen Ning, the Juniors trio. I like most other characters that play major roles (exclude antagonists, except JGY and XY, I love how much I want to scream at them).

In DGM, Allen is my first love, Nea is my second, then it’s a bit of many characters at same level of appreciation, more or less (Tyki, Cross, Mana, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, Road, Wisely).

In BBC Merlin: Merlin and Arthur first, then Gwaine and Lancelot, then Morgana and Mordred and the rest of the round table knights.

Underrated characters in those fandoms you want to see more of in fanfics?

I’m the kind of person who can love a lot of characters and ships (on various degree) but tend to hyperfocus on a single character and then my OTP(s) for them, and as you can see above I do get hearteye for protagonists a lot. So I can’t quite say who is underrated, but I can more or less speak about characters I think it would be great to see more about.

In MDZS, it is definitely Mo Xuanyu. We know so little about him, pretty much everything we do know is given from others perspective, so there’s no way to know what is real. It leaves open for a lot of hcs, and so it’s interesting to see the different views. But just... I need so much more of MXY lives fics ;;;;;

I think in DGM, I definitely want to see more fics with Mana and Nea (especially interacting with current Allen), but I dont think those two count as underrated. And in BBC Merlin, I can’t think of anyone I personally want to see more of.

What is your favourite length of fic to read?

Any lengths, I rarely pay attention to the length of a fic, like a look at chapters and word counds but mostly just to decide if I have time to start reading it or if it’s going on my to-read list, but I never really, consciously think about it.

Preferred/most common ‘rating’ to read?

Again, I don’t really pay attention to it. Actual ratings, more than half the time I dont even notice which is put. Tags/warnings, I’ll take a look but its more like assessing than truly pausing to process them.

The three tags you look for most when you pick a fanfiction to read?

As mentionned in previous reply, I don’t really pay attentions to tags. It’s only if I’m looking to satisfy a specific craving I’ll properly filter, but most often it differs based on the fandom.

I would say that currently, I’m keeping an eye on MDZS tag for Time Travel, Fix-it and Canon Divergence.

#chrishere #(thank you for tagging me??? bless ;;;;;)#(hope that was what you were looking for!)

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